Destiny's Call: The tales of a foreigner in a familiar land

by Zenith Starwalker

Chapter 22: Princesses, Phoenixes, & Pink Pachyderms

The steady sound of metallic wheels whirring on the rails filled the cabin as we made our way back to Magiville. The return train was punctual in its arrival, and I praised its crew for remaining diligent in their jobs even at this late hour. The conductor who made his rounds was extra quiet in order to avoid waking the passengers that already had their tickets stamped and were currently dozing off. The lamps inside of the passenger car were dimmed, window shutters were pulled all the way down, and people made soft snoring sounds as they snoozed away the rest of their sojourn in the city.

Rarity was sitting next to me and leaning her head against my shoulders. Her eyes were drooping as she valiantly tried to stave off the tempting pull of sleep, a struggle that I estimated she would be losing within four or five minutes. While I’d usually feel a little irked at how she so presumptuously was using me as her headrest without asking permission, I felt that the urge to complain about it was petty, so I overlooked her minor transgression. She was quiet too, hardly speaking two words since we boarded the train back to her home. I imagine that she had said all she had to say once she had shown me those male fashion magazines.

I still didn’t know what to think about that whole deal she had volunteered me for. I practically had my anonymity destroyed by agreeing to be Photo Finish and Picture Perfect’s latest piece of meat, and while it tickled my fancy to be considered so desirable for just being myself, it had come at a cost. Anyone who kept up with the recent fashion trends would surely recognize my face now, and I wasn’t looking forward to the consequences of that. Fame or no fame.

On the plus side, it did mean that I also had an interesting (if not expensive) therapeutic session with the Spa twins to look forward to.

The soft breathing of the woman next to me slowed perceptibly and I knew that she was no longer awake. I gingerly grabbed one of those complimentary pillows that they provided during the red eye trips and swapped my shoulder region out with it, freeing up my movements and allowing me to dig inside my rucksack for something I had acquired previously that day. One of the contents was the boxed up cheesecake that Fancypants so generously allowed me to store in his fridge before our departure. The eight cubic feet of space that the enchantments on the pack granted meant that finding what I put in was a somewhat tedious process (‘organizes material my ass’), and it didn’t cut down on the weight of the cargo itself either; though having agrarian strength mitigates this drawback greatly.

My hand finally brushed against what I was looking for and I pulled it out to be illuminated by the faint lighting of the cabin. Resting in my palm was a hilt, yet not just any kind of hilt, but the kind that was made specifically for my Mage-blade’s shards in mind. It was unique in its design, with a one and a half handed ribbed leather grip and sporting a nearly ovular shaped rounded cross-guard with a flat inlet on the end to contain the two halves of Dichotomy’s fully joined blade. It vaguely reminded me of Chrom’s Falchion from Fire Emblem, only the circular hilt wasn’t bladed itself. Eerily enough, it was almost a carbon copy of the Null blade’s hilt, down to the elaborate engravings etched onto the ‘quillons’. Only this handle actually had some physical mass to it, and would not result in your standard sword with the blade fragments attached to it.

Without thinking, I mechanically laid an arm around the slumbering woman next to me, taking extra care not to wake her from her sleep. She made a pleased humming sound and snuggled closer to me, subconsciously murmuring something about warm marshmallow fluff. I was completely silent as I sat there and reflected on the earlier events of the day, staring at the object I held with a vague sense of dutiful rumination.

⁂

I woke up to the irritable rays of Sunlight that never failed to find the worst way to rouse me. I grumbled agitatedly to myself and sat up. Yawning with an arched stretch as I savored in one of the most comfortable beds I’ve ever had the pleasure of resting on. Given the amount of time I spent dry heaving last night, I wryly imagined that even the smallest amount of sleep would have felt refreshing. Throwing the sheets off in an undignified manner (Not that I really cared. Nigel had maids for that sort of thing), I made myself presentable in the restroom and got dressed in one of those fancy outfits that Rarity made for me but didn’t include in the fashion show, which had inescapably made me the talk of the town.

I gave myself a once over in the mirror to make sure that I looked as spiffy as I felt. I was wearing one of those outfits that would not have looked out of place on a European Prince from the nineteenth century. A double-breasted burgundy frock coat with legitimate golden buttons covered my chest region. Complimenting those colors were a pair of navy blue slacks that were made of a slightly shimmery material that glimmered in the morning light. I chose to forgo the included bowtie. The only time I’d ever wear one of those was if I was in a penguin suit. I figured that a cravat haphazardly stuffed into my neck region was classy enough for my tastes. My personal favorite facet about my ensemble however, were the ornately braided Epaulettes adorning my shoulders. Epaulettes epitomize epicness in my honest opinion.

‘I look like a regular Prince Albert, sans the fancy medals’ I jocularly observed, albeit I was a bit too clean-shaven to faithfully pull off the look. I had also kept my full armament equipped to my person. I felt…more exposed without them, despite the impressive amount of destructive combat magic I could sling around at a moment’s notice. There is also a certain versatility with solid weapons that magic can’t quite subvert on its own.

I didn’t mind the Victorian fashions that were so undeniably prevalent here, but I did mind the ostentatious attitudes of the people who wore them. It was one of the reasons why I preferred living near rural places like Magiville, which was a place that seemed to cater to people from all walks of life, from the well to do to the less materialistic. Although the balance of social class was slightly skewed towards the simplistic farming folk due to the town’s natural heritage.

All musing about the simpler aspects of the small town was put to the side as I heard a series of knocks on the door. I made no rush to answer it, since it came from Rarity’s side of our shared suites, and I was still a little bitter about her blatant misuse of my time and privacy to further her own nefarious ends. Once the annoying knocks increased in frequency, I stepped up my lax pace.

I grabbed the handle and gave it a twist, coming face for mid chest (again) with a woman, “G’morning Rarity, something I can help you with?” I greeted her with fake cheer. I was never really the grouchy morning type, so I might as well make an effort to be cordial.

Rarity looked ‘divine’, as she would put it, wearing a glittering dress of pure silver that caught the light in such a way that it made my shiny trousers seem grimy in comparison, “A good morning to you as well, Zenith. I trust that the malaise from last night has worn off?” She smiled innocently, that fact the she had a hand in that malaise notwithstanding.

‘Ah yes, the gut burning potion that the wicked wench brewed up’ And I thought that those salad shakes that my mother used to force upon me tasted foul.

I smirked and crossed my arms together, “Indeed. It's also the last time that I take you up on an offer for a drink mixed by you”

She pouted a bit at my criticism, “I spent the better half of an hour apologizing Zenith. I certainly had no idea that a Love Po- I mean, a Lovelace Weave, would have such adverse effects on your intestinal fortitude” She corrected herself with a faint flush of embarrassment. I found it mildly interesting that sewing and alcoholic drinks were associated in this wacky world.

I was no fool. Rarity somehow concocted a Love Potion using the ingredients in the secluded third floor bar, likely with the intention of making me a little more susceptible to her charm. The only reason I was bold enough to knowingly drink it was because I’ve found that my Trifect physiology is practically impervious to the ill effects of whatever unhealthy thing I ingest, so the only issue I had to worry about was getting rumblies in my tumblies.

I wanted to rub my temples in aggravation at the very thought of me doting over the drama queen for any reason. Why was this socialite woman still gunning for my affections? The only person I think would be less of a match for me from her little cadre would be the overly energetic and notorious party girl Pinkamena Diane Pie. Which led me down another mental tangent where I’d imagine myself actually spending time with said party girl. I pitied future me, and bemoaned the lack of common headache suppressants in this land.

“Is there a reason beyond wishing me a good morning that you’ve come knocking on my door for?” I asked directly, growing weary of the word games that this woman loved to play out.

The mischievous (at least to me) glint in her eyes died down a bit, “Why must you always assume that I have a hidden agenda every time I speak Zenith?” She looked hurt, her eyes brimming with moisture and her smile sagging downward.

Confound this woman! She manages to blur the lines between crocodile tears and actual tears a lot more than I care for.

I half chuckled with pure cynicism, “I’m sorry Rares, but after your little stint manipulating Concordia’s most well known fashion photographers and sworn rivals into actually working together, I think I’m entitled to be just a little paranoid with how you so cunningly wrap people around your finger”

She blinked at my sudden nickname for her before bristling at the criticism with a brief huff, “I’m insulted, Zenith. I do not ‘wrap people around my finger’ as you put it. I only make them see what is in our common interest” She defended, her misty eyes having dried up in record time. Crocodile tears it was then.

I snorted at her justification, “It is hardly common, and I’ll be fortunate if I can ever forgo the need to wear a hood in the streets of this city ever again” Getting mobbed by adoring fans is not all it's cracked up to be, believe me.

Being the intensely social creature she was, the idea of avoiding unwanted attention just didn’t register with her, “Why would you ever want to, darling? Are you not ecstatic, knowing that you will star in the fantasies of every well read woman within the whole of the entire country? That you will become the envy of men everywhere? The bane of those atrocious bell-bottom wearing miscreants skulking about in backwater holdouts, insisting that theirs is the true fashion?” Her face was a rictus of disgust after referencing the last one. I had to agree with her on that, bell-bottoms are hideous.

I shook my head, “None of those things appeal to me in any way. I’d never sacrifice anonymity for frivolous fame; which is always short lived, if I may remind you. I’m a man who prefers his privacy, and after dodging all of those fan girls in just the days prior, that preference is forever solidified” Going active camo for extended periods of time was an unnecessary drain of mana, and I hate being wasteful.

She sighed, hoping against hope that I would indulge her, “I swear, you can be more stubborn than Applejack when it comes to embracing the recognition that you so richly deserve” She declared, seemingly citing her country friend’s modesty as an inhibitor to her popularity.

“Applejack is humble, which I’d say is a good trait to have. I like that in a woman” I remarked offhand, idly noticing the spark of thought behind those pretty deep blue orbs of hers.

“Is that so…?” She muttered to herself, before refocusing on me, “Well…that aside, I came to ask you if you might be interested in accompanying both Fleur and myself to the Opera Théâtral for the showing of The Plenipotentiary and the Princess. It’s going to be marvelous!” She clapped her hands together excitedly.

I hummed in thought at her invitation. Operas weren’t really to my liking. Music and acting were fine by me, but I dealt with enough Prima Donnas as it was. It would just be poetic irony if Rarity took me to hear the high-pitched whining masked under the guise of ‘singing’, and this was not something I was about the give the Universe the pleasure of boring me with. The plot of such a title did intrigue me though.

“I’m afraid not my dear, I have business of my own to see to in the city today” It was a well intentioned half lie, in truth. I technically got everything out of the way as of yesterday. Plus, Fleur still looked at me as if I was a dark omen for her career popularity, so it was probably for the best if we gave each other our separate space.

I continued before she could express her disappointment, “But. I would very much appreciate it if you could appropriate one of their program pamphlets for me. The synopsis sounds splendidly stimulating” And I had just reached my quota for alliteration for the day.

She nodded somewhat begrudgingly, “I most certainly shall, darling. It’s a shame that you cannot come, though I suppose Fleur and I could make it a girls’ day out on the town instead” She said with a light giggle, one that positively reeked of a future shopping spree in mind. Hopefully using Fancypant’s line of credit and not mine. The munny pouch was getting a little slim lately.

‘So long as she doesn’t make me carry back any of her junk’ Bad memories of me being used as my mother’s pack mule for her ceaseless errands came crawling out of the depths that I had buried them, before being banished once more, like the slight fog dissipating outside in the heat of the morning sun.

I was about to cease our conversation when she suddenly spoke up, “One last thing my dear. There is a particular event at which you are expected, hosted an hour after midday”

My brow rose at this, “And what event, pray tell, is that?”

“Your unfamiliarity with weekend public gatherings in Concordia is understandable, but your presence has been personally requested at the Hall of Recreation in the palace by popular demand” She informed me.

“Can I decline?” She scoffed and adamantly shook her head.

“Will you be there?” I then asked in follow up, having anticipated her response.

She laughed haughtily, “But of course! Everybody who’s somebody will be attending. Although…” She rubbed a sultry finger in small circles along my chest out of habit, “Only I will get to have you all to myself on the dance floor”

I shrugged noncommittally, “That’s acceptable, I need someone like you to run interference for me when I get swarmed by the curious Elite”

“You really shouldn’t be so antisocial Zenith, it comes off as rude you know” She spoke reproachfully, eliciting another snort from me.

“I am asocial, not antisocial. Learn the difference and commit it to heart, because I’ll only explain that once” I was bugged about this far too many times back home, and I wasn’t about to put up with it here.

She gave me a look that told me that she equated the two terms in her book, “Oh? And would you care to enlighten me to the differences in regards to you?”

“Antisocial people go out of their way to avoid interaction of any kind, whether it is due to their lack of communicative skill or if they just plain despise others. Asocial people like me can tolerate it, we just don’t go seeking it” That’s how I’ve come to understand it anyway.

“There you go using that plurality Zenith. You’re one of the very very few people I’ve ever met who is visibly annoyed when surrounded by people who express an interest in you, it’s not healthy to be so aloof” She chided me with a disapproving glower. Is the desire to not have to put up with people really such a crime?

I was severely tempted to vocalize my exasperation with a groan. She just didn’t get it. How could she? Alongside the Pink one, she’s easily one of the most sociable women I could ever acquaint myself with. Most of her socializing involved sidling up to people with influence and wealth like Fancypants, those who could prove to be reliable financial backers for her ambitions to spread her designs across the whole of the country, and even beyond Arcania’s borders.

“Do try to be a little more chatty at the function, for me?” She flashed me a winning smile. It was genuine, as far as I could tell, so I actually factored it into my consideration.

“I make no guarantees, but I will try” I compromised, using a halfhearted gesture of my hands. Her smile grew a centimeter upon hearing that.

‘But I don’t have to be happy about it!’ I internally groused.

We said our goodbyes as Rarity left our rooms in search of the grudge holding Fleur de lis somewhere in the bowels of the mammoth manor. To be frank, I kind of preferred Nigel’s other woman Blissful Bounty’s more down to Earth personality, though I didn’t like the leering way she stared at me when she thought she wasn’t under my watchful eye. I chalked it up to my recent surge in fame and dismissed it as wistful lust. Rationalizing this made it no less perplexing however. Nigel was almost the perfect spouse, desirable by classy women everywhere, and the only thing I held over him in the looks department was my youthful vigor. Perhaps it was just that idle fancy that strikes even married people as they imagine what could have been. It was still a little baffling that the prodigious man only had two special women in his love life, although a man of his standing must select his mates quite carefully I suspect.

I grabbed my rucksack and set out myself in search of something to do. Having exhausted my list of priorities in regards to the mundane tasks I had created for myself, I only had one more thing that called for my attentions, and that was a visit with Royalty. I treaded fastidiously around and over several distinguished looking people who had a little too much to drink during last night’s party and were laying about in various (and mostly unflattering) poses of hung over sobriety. One the benefits of not being able to experience the fabled touch of alcohol was that I didn’t have to put up with that peculiar after effect, which was fine by me.

Nigel’s many house servants were preoccupied with cleaning the mess the partygoers had made, such as sweeping up the multicolored streamers lining the floor and setting overturned furniture upright. Some very expensive looking chattels were in fact, damaged after the previous night’s debauchery and were in the process of actually being replaced by identical looking sets. I whistled to myself in bedazzlement, Fancypants must have been incredibly rich from his business ventures if he had replacement furniture on standby for such events of merrymaking.

I thought I’d try to find the genteel man somewhere in the disarrayed central atrium of the house where sunlight poured in from the crystalline skylight. Nobody in their right mind would pass out in that spot from their drunkenness unless they wanted their Regent of the Sun’s namesake to give them a rude awakening and aggravate their extra sensitivity to brightness.

My efforts were met with partial success, for I found the man I was looking for. Only I wasn’t able to catch him by himself, instead he was engaged in conversation with a Stellar Mage couple that seemed oddly familiar to me, though I could not match their faces to a name at that moment. Nigel’s face was stolid as he spoke with them, though I could tell from this distance that he was irritated with their sycophantic behavior, based on the almost imperceptibly narrowed slant in his eyes. I felt it best to just blend into the background until they buggered off, but Nigel had keener eyesight than I suspected and spotted me lurking in the shadows. With a grin gracing his features for the first time, he waved me over with a two fingered curling gesticulation.

I reluctantly obliged and approached, the couple’s heads swiveling to see what was more important than whatever they were sucking up to Fancypants for. As I drew closer, I took in their features for profiling. The man was of average height and wearing a green and white polo shirt with an ivory sweater draped around his shoulders and light grey khakis adorning his legs. The woman with two-tone hair standing next to him was wearing a pink and white sweater vest with a sunflower yellow skirt. She was also sporting a string of pricey looking pearls around her neck, probably to accentuate that ‘I’m wealthier than you’ conceitedness that their nose in the air attitude was suggesting. Both had zircon focal gems dotting their foreheads, polished to a mirror shine.

“Ah, if it isn’t Concordia’s newest toast of the town!” He cheerfully greeted me. The couple’s eyes lit up as they inevitably recognized my face, and I resisted the urge to grimace at the ingratiating spark I saw in them.

“Good morning Nigel” I said to the more casually dressed man (light blue breeches and a white dress shirt, as if he had just gone horseback riding), before addressing the other two, “And a good morning to you two as well, mister and missus…?” They were obviously married, evidenced by the shiny wedding bands on their fingers.

The man with the ovular glasses resting on his nose spoke first, “The mornings in our glorious city are magnificent as always, so the idea of expressing that to us feels rather redundant. But where are my manners? I’m Jet Set and this here is my lovely wife Upper Crust. Both of us are keystone members of this city” He introduced the two of them with a self-important smirk and gaudy accent that reeked of egotism.

‘Funny, he’s certainly wearing the colors of the New York Jets’ The statement of his name alone made my eye twitch in bemusement, do Jet aircraft even exist here?

I could only assume based on their names and his wife’s bit coin symbol Mana mark that they had been born into their wealth, not having earned it the tedious way like Nigel had. Although I shouldn’t just make these speculations from visual evidence alone, they could just be naturally snobby. I’ve met plenty of people who held themselves in a superior manner for simply being just as rich through their labors, humility from humble roots be damned.

His wife spoke up, using a voice that had an underlying accent in it that didn’t originate from this city, “And you must be Zenith, the one people are already referring to as the ‘Cock of the walk’. You’re as impressively alluring as the magazine’s portray you, perhaps more so” She openly admired with a coy smile, one that made her husband roll his eyes at her antics. It made me wonder if they were one of those swinger couples or if she was just the flirtatious type.

‘Really? The Cock of the walk? I don’t know whether to feel flattered or insulted by this new title. Plus it’s only been a few days! If this city’s bread mill was as efficient as its rumor mill, they’d have enough to feed America for a week’ I detest the grape vine sometimes.

Her facial features wrinkled as she caught sight of the rucksack sitting on my shoulders, “But what is that atrocious looking pack you’re lugging around like a common citizen? It’s of such crude construction that it looks like you purchased it from some backcountry market stand” She said with a derogatory giggle.

“That’s probably because I did indeed purchase this from a backcountry town. The enchantments on it are useful and it’s rugged enough to withstand some attrition when I venture out into the great unknown” I explained, my serious demeanor causing them to stagger in their attempt to seem chummy in front of Fancypants.

“But, surely you must have attendants waiting on you for that sort of thing! It’s not proper to strain one’s self with activity when there are servants for such things!” She exclaimed in protest, shuddering at the idea of putting in any kind of physical effort into her endeavors.

“If you want something done right, you ought to do it for yourself. I've always been a more hands on kind of man anyway” I countered with moxie, “And don’t call me Shirley, I merely go by Zenith” I added as an afterthought, confusing them greatly.

This couple was starting to bore me, so I directed my focus back to Fancypants, “Might I have a word with you, Nigel? In private?” The eager look on the couple’s faces shrank to nil at their exclusion.

His relieved grin spoke of his gratitude in droves, “Of course my good man! Let us away”

He picked the direction and I followed suit, leading me up the stairs and towards an unfrequented terrace on his second floor. It was yet another sumptuous section of his home, overlooking a decent portion of the valley below that wasn’t blocked by the other manor homes. The furniture here was more…modest for lack of a better word, consisting of wooden lawn chairs lined up side by side with flat cushions and floral patterns on them and a glass coffee table. There was also another one of those mini bars positioned against the wall.

Nigel motioned for me to take a seat while he fixed himself a brandy, he asked if I wanted a drink myself, but I declined his generosity. Much to his slightly fascinated intrigue, as evidenced a single raised eyebrow and a thoughtful hum. He joined me as we overlooked the sunrise, a Brandy over the rocks in one hand and a larger bottle of similar fluid in the other.

“So what is on your mind, my stone faced friend?” He asked before taking a swig of his first drink, relishing in its flavor before downing the rest in a few swift gulps and placing the empty glass on the table with a sharp clink.

“At first, nothing. It was just a ploy to save you from the brown nosers” I admitted, before continuing, “But now that I think about it, I have a few questions regarding the dynamics of a harem, and how they operate in this society of ours”

He blinked at this odd inquiry, before grinning to me, “You need only ask, my young lad!” He began to favor the left armrest as he leaned closer to me.

I gave myself a moment to think about what I would ask first, since I had quite a few concerns that needed to be addressed. I decided on a fairly simple one, “What is the maximum number of women that a man in this land can designate as his ladyloves?”

Nigel scratched at his chin, “There isn’t an actual limit, imposed by law or otherwise, but the societal norm is about four to six. I know of one chap with no less than ten women on his hands, busy fellow he is” He said with a chuckle.

It took me a few moments to process that answer, it was about what I was expecting, though hearing it for myself erased any lingering doubts I may or may not have had.

“I know that the man is the central figure in these harems, being the target of affection from his loves, but what about the women’s relationships with each other? How would you classify that?”

I could see the gears in his mind turning as he meditated on his answer, “That’s a little more complicated than I might be capable of clearing up for you, having only two loves myself. But it would be safe to say that a harem benefits from having friendly relations between all of its members, so under ideal circumstances everyone would know everyone else and be on good terms”

“And should conflict arise between two female members?” I naturally followed up.

“As with all strained relationships, it's best to let the two of them work it out in their own time. I would also recommend against taking sides…outwardly anyway. But if you see a chance of orchestrating reconciliation between the two parties, then you should take it every time. And that advice conveniently applies to matters of business as well!” He chuckled jovially.

“And umm…” I hesitated momentarily, “For the activities that happen behind closed doors?” It felt improper to ask, but I didn’t want to have to find out about this the hard way.

He held up an unforthcoming hand, “That is between you and your lovers, my inexperienced friend” He half said in between his renewed chortles.

Well, I guess I couldn’t have everything spelled out for me. It was probably unique for every group of unions anyway.

He then spoke to me in a conspiratorial whisper, “But between you and I, ménage à trois is best reserved after a few glasses of white wine from the well tempered vineyards of Shady Hollow” If it wasn’t for the fact that I was nigh unsusceptible to innuendos, I’m pretty sure I would be rather taken aback from that unexpected bit of info.

I maintained a straight face, “I will definitely keep that in mind. Any other pieces of relational wisdom you wish to impart upon me?”

He looked faintly amused with how well I could retain my composure, “No matter what you say or do, your loves are always in the right. Even when they aren’t. Is that clear?” He sounded real serious about this one. I replied with a noncommittal grunt, which he misconstrued as a yes.

‘Happy wives equals happy lives is it? Very well’ But I absolutely refuse to let myself become some hen pecked husband, and masculine pride has nothing to do with it.

“One last question, how do living arrangements work out?” Would everyone live in the same house like Fancypants and his two women? Or would I have to equally divide my time among them one on one?

Nigel recalled his own exposure, “In the beginning, I courted both around the same time, making sure to devote certain days to each. However, once we realized that we were all suited for each other, we made this house our home” His grin morphed into more of a happily reminiscent smile.

“I don’t think I’ll have the same luxury, one of the women I’m in a relationship with lives in this city, while I’m currently based down in Magiville” It’s awfully inconvenient to force someone into a long distance relationship, think of the hours spent commuting alone!

“Well, if what they say is to be believed, true love always finds a way to make things work, in spite of the obstacles facing it. I can personally vouch for its veracity” He tipped a refilled glass of alcohol my way in a ‘true-story’ fashion before drinking deeply of it.

‘Poetic, but not entirely informative’ I really wanted to ask him how I was supposed to handle the advent of progeny, but I’d already asked my last question.

“You know, I was the firstborn of my father. Therefore as the age old law of primogeniture often goes, I inherited his titles and the vast majority of his holdings when he finally retired from the scene” I wasn’t sure if he saw the inquiry in my eyes or if he felt like arbitrarily speaking, but my unasked question was mostly answered by that.

“Did you have siblings?” He nodded lethargically, “What about them? What did they do?”

“They went on to pursue their own happiness. Last I checked, I have a at least one brother or sister in every major city, most making a good name for themselves” He shifted in his seat, a far off look on his face, “Oh how I yearn that I could keep in physical touch with them. But sadly, to be a Fancypants is to be constantly busy tending to one’s own affairs” He let out a longing sigh. This seemed to be a sore spot for him, frowning for the first time since I’ve known him.

I was about to open my mouth and suggest planning some kind of weekend get away for himself and his siblings to enjoy when the sound of a servant politely knocking on the wall behind us alerted me that our peaceful seclusion had reached its end. Nigel flicked his finger and signaled him to come closer.

The servant moved to Fancypant’s side and passed him a note, “One of our guests has received a Royal summons, sir”

Nigel gave the note a brisk read over, “Conveniently enough, that guest is right here” He passed it to me for my reviewing.

It wasn’t the decorated slip of paper that I’d usually seen on Rarity whenever she attended some flamboyant gathering of nobles like she was so fond of doing. Instead, it was straight to the point like one would expect on a telegram, requesting my presence at the palace at my earliest availability. Though I imagine that they only phrased it that way out of courtesy, and I needed to get my rear in gear.

I stood up from my chair and swung my pack around my shoulders, “Thanks for shedding some light on that subject, your advice is most appreciated” I inclined my head respectfully.

He returned the gesture, “Anytime my friend, do say hello to the Princesses for me will you?”

I gave him an affirmative nod and salute before leaving the premises of the manor, bound for the spires of the castle. The walk there took a little over a quarter of an hour; since Fancypant’s place was located further away from the central city’s grid and I took the back alleys and other shortcuts that would keep me veiled from the eyes of the general public. Even in the grand capital city, the seedier portions of it nagged at the back of my head. The streets themselves were pristine and luxurious, but rubbish and filth was scattered everywhere the Sunlight didn’t shine down on, reminding me of a pseudo gilded age analog of nineteenth century America. Suspiciously cloaked men watched me intently, their eyes hidden behind the shadows of their hood. The outfit I was wearing didn’t exactly project a formidable aura, so I was likely being sized up by default. It was enough to make me feel like I was only moments away from bumping into a shady character and getting mugged (although the profit margin would be minimal at best, given the near anorexic girth of my munny pouch. I’d have to ask for my next stipend up front. Huzzah for taxpayers!). My hands began to migrate on their own from my sides until they were inches away from the handle of my blade, just in case.

A quick ascension up a raggedy set of cobblestone stairs and I was bathed in the light of day once more. The tight quarters back there were inspiring a feeling akin to claustrophobia, and a breath escaped my lips that I wasn’t even aware that I had been holding to begin with. I made a mental note to myself to avoid taking the clandestine route again unless I absolutely had to.

From there the gates of the Palace were within visual distance. The guards on duty must have recognized me from before, as they signaled their comrades in the gatehouse to raise the first of three portcullises in anticipation of my arrival.

Once I was within range, the one on my right held up a hand for me to stop, “State your name and business” He ordered officially, before adding in an apologetic tone, “Sorry sir, it’s standard procedure”

‘I recognize that voice’

“I am the one called Zenith, and I recently received an official summons” I produced the paper and gave it to the man, who spared it a cursory glance.

“Since when were you assigned gate duty Valiant?” I casually chatted with him, his helmet twisting upwards in surprise.

“I’m honored that you remember me, my Phlegmatic Prince. And to answer your question, all guards get this rotation at least twice every other week. We can’t always stand in the same place every single day, now can we?” He explained with a raspy chuckle.

The man next to him spoke up, “I scanned him. He’s not one of those skin changing freaks” I could just picture him sneering from underneath his golden helm as he said that.

“You mean the changelings?” I lightheartedly clarified. I was gladdened to see that their security was not completely lax; infiltrators of that caliber are not a laughing matter. The man merely grumbled something unintelligible in response, the wounds from this city’s altercation with them likely still fresh.

It was interesting to note that the only way to distinguish the clan types of the guards were from the round clasps holding up their capes, due to their extensive armor keeping most of their features covered. The Stellar Magi got some kind of runic symbol that reminded me of an arcane triple Venn diagram, Agrarian soldiers had this metallic tree with roots and branches, and Valkyrian guards wore a sword with wings as their emblem.

“You’re clear to go, my Prince. Our majestic herald of the Sun expects you in the throne room” I was temporarily taken off guard by how they did not bother to search my things, although the system of trust here meant that they only needed to confirm my identity. It’s going to a long while before I shake off the customs of home.

He and the other guard clicked their heels together and held their skillfully crafted Glaives forward in some kind of formal military salute and said no more.

On cue, the other layers of the gate began to rise, inviting me inside. I walked amongst the winding paths of the courtyard as I made my way to the central structure of the palace, where the Princess was apparently awaiting me. What could she want to talk to me about? It must be fairly important, if she was willing to cancel her morning hearings for my sake. Then again, she might just be using me as an excuse to cancel them for the heck of it. I wouldn’t blame her for doing so, day court was boring as all hell at times (endlessly amusing at it was to make the prissy nobles sweat when they were acting foolish in full view of their ruler, the court proceedings weren’t always so cut and dried). Yet another reason for me to delay on accepting that Prince hood that Celestia seemed so insistent for me to embrace.

A few critters that wandered outside of the famous gardens where they resided perked their heads up from the various shrubs and neatly trimmed trees they were nestled in as I passed them by. Some of them even remembered me from the times that I would come there in order to get away from the noise and posh people that came to voice complaints of a generic sort and perched on my shoulders to chirp or chitter happily. I paid them little mind and let the tiny things have their fun. I never understood just how the creatures of this land were so in tune with people, it was enough to make one feel like a regular Snow White, I swear.

I breezed past the doors leading to the Night Court’s throne room, which was almost the polar opposite of its day court sibling; whose doors didn’t directly lead outside. I only attended it once when I spent an all nighter just casually conversing with Luna in her palatial and very much empty court chamber. The decorations inside wouldn’t have been out of place in a Goth’s room, an imposing black could be found on every surface and actually shaded the marble columns keeping everything up, with ghostly iron lanterns bathing everything in a pale light and giving it an ominous feel. I may have openly mentioned to Luna that her shortage of vociferous vassals was probably due to the oppressive atmosphere of her lair, to which she laughed and assured me that the layout was very much a deliberate decision.

Another duo of guards sent me a gesture of salutation before opening up the main doors and ushering me inside the entrance hall. Unlike every other time I was here during this duration of the day, the rouge tinted carpeted stairs were vacant of people. Combine the emptiness with the vast open aired halls that composed Concordia Castle, and it felt pretty desolate to the average observer. It was as if there was a heavy atmosphere of authority bearing down on you, forcing you to think twice about your actions.

Of course, that sensation of a heavy atmosphere might have just been my unique peripheral perception for the Princesses’ auras switching on. This particular one belonged to the Sun Monarch, and from what I could tell; she was in a deeply contemplative, nearly brooding mood. I couldn’t discern much more than that really, acute empathic reception doesn’t exactly translate into telepathy all that well.

The armor-clad Stellar Mage guards of Celestia’s Solar division gave me a quick nod of acknowledgment before slowly magicking the last of the monumental portals leading to my destination open, the hinges making a short and sonorous grinding noise before finally giving way to the force being applied to them. With my entrance granted, I strolled past the metaphorical threshold and into the figurative heart of the nation.

I’ve described it before, but the main throne room (as far as most were concerned) was an awe inspiring sight, especially with the sunlight streaming in through the stained glass windows and illuminating everything in a flurry of colors. Lofty white marble pillars braced the checkered ceiling and served to additionally reinforce the Olympian air that the castle at the top of a mountain exuded. There was a slight Earthy scent of incense in the air that was smack dab in the goldilocks’ zone, not too overpowering, not too underwhelming. The twin fountains at the foot of the dais never emitted any sound, despite the volume of water they produced; something that never ceased to fascinate me. The smooth tile floors were polished and buffed to a mirror shine, without even the faintest sign of blemishes or marring to be detected anywhere. One could say that it reflected the immaculate righteousness of its sole occupant, and I would call that person a bleeding heart; the palace cleaning staff was just that zealous in their sense of duty.

The Princess herself was not in her seat of power, instead opting to stand off to the side and stare at one of the windows, her normally flowing vibrant hair subdued in its undulations, as though mirroring her musing disposition. Those who were more observant however, could tell that her gaze extended much further than that.

I stood a respectful distance away from her and announced my presence aloud, “You called for me your majesty?”

“Drop the formalities Zenith. We are in close enough company that this discussion will be sub rosa, and we have much to discuss” There was no hint of cheer in her voice this time, only that calculating yet warm tone from when I first met her.

“Of course, Celestia” I conceded as the statuesque and regal woman faced me, that indecipherable mask measuring me at all moments. For some inexplicable reason, my mind’s theme song for her immediately switched from a legendary and apposite Beatle’s track to ‘Hard Sun’ by Eddie Vedder.

“First and foremost, I’d like to ask how you’ve been taking to your time with the Elements so far. I trust that their company has been most refreshing, no?” She allowed the smallest crack in her composure in the form of a grin, confident as she was in the girls’ abilities to inculcate the ideals of friendship and harmony into an unsmiling person like me.

“Refreshing isn’t one of the words I’d use…more like enlivening” I evenly replied, recalling just how eventful my time spent in Magiville was since the very beginning of my arrival. Though on second thought, nearly anything would be considered eventful to a laid back person such as myself.

Her expression remained unchanged, “My dearest student speaks of you frequently, you know. Referring to you as one of her most difficult challenges, one that she has devoted much time to in planning and devising methods for adjusting you to the Arcanian way of life” Her tone was suspiciously convinced, making me wonder if she permitted the librarian to use any means necessary.

‘Pfft, more like assimilating’ A humorous image of Twilight as a Borg somehow found its way to the forefront of my mind. Resistance is futile indeed.

I was about to open my mouth and inform her that we needed to speak about the methods of her precious pupil, and why she needed to be reminded that some doors were not meant to be opened so flagrantly, but the Princess continued to talk, forcing me to reserve my solicitude.

“It has become obvious that her friends have also had some impact on you. I must admit that I certainly did not expect the city’s latest topic of popular discussion to be centered primarily on you of all people” She giggled for the first time, as though the notion itself were absurd.

“Yes well, it was either agree to model Rarity’s winter fashions for men, or put up with her no doubt constant whining for the rest of our stay if I refused. Not to mention that if I’m to be amongst the aristocracy, I’ve got to look the part” I dryly explained to the radiant woman while clutching at the lapels of my coat. I still hated being strong-armed into crap that I didn’t want to do, even if I did put my own spin on it.

“Or perhaps you realized that friends simply do each other favors that do not require to be repaid?” She arched a brow at me, like she was expecting to receive some kind of pseudo friendship report. Ha! Not from me she wouldn’t.

I waved my hand in the air dismissively, “Sure sure, let’s go with that” I should probably should have felt bad for the tiny spark of exasperation in her eyes, but I didn’t.

She massaged one of her temples with a duo of fingers and sighed, “In time you will come to realize the paramount attributes of the bonds that link us all, but I suppose that it is too much to expect you to recognize this now” She got that last part right. I just wish she wouldn’t go about this whole ‘you need friends’ rigmarole this way.

“Listen Celestia, I’m willing to buy into this fraternal camaraderie spiel you seem so intent on promoting, but I’ll be going about it by my own pace. Don’t expect leaps and bounds from a naturally introverted individual like myself, especially one that prefers his own company” I unintentionally let some spite seep into my voice, something that did not go unnoticed by the sovereign of the Sun.

“You make it sound as if you wish to pick and choose from your relationships, accepting some aspects of friendship whilst rejecting others” She commented, her face unreadable once again.

“Words can sometimes betray inner feelings, or they can just be a front for something else. I suspect that you know this fact quite intimately after your long reign, yes?” I could obfuscate deception about the fine art of deception. That ought to throw her off my trail.

She didn’t provide a clear answer, merely humming in response. I hate these word games that we often find ourselves playing, why can’t we be completely honest with each other? It’s one of the Harmonious Virtues she holds in such high regards for cripes sake! I decided to break the silence by changing the subject.

“I’ll be candid with you, your majesty...” I sent her an askance sidelong glance, “...because I know you’ve been so candid with me” Her face remained blank, which was about as much as I expected, “Your esteemed student attempted something that I found quite disagreeable in her valiant efforts to enlighten me to the things I’ve been purportedly missing out on” I spoke gruffly, my voice dropping in pitch to emphasize my displeasure.

“Oh? And just what had she attempted to do?” She asked, incredulous to whatever act of friendship indoctrination her student did to make me so suddenly dour.

“Delve into the very depths of my soul and make contact with the core of my being, with the underlying motive of imprinting her appreciation for friendship onto me” I answered, remembering her misguided motives from combing through her head. This answer made her eyes dilate in shock.

“SHE DID WHAT!?” The Princess exclaimed, adopting the Royal caps lock in the process. I could actually feel the floor shake from the sheer force of her voice. Lemme tell ya, I promptly began to regret having the sensitive hearing of a Skyborn at that point.

“Yell a little louder, I don’t think my hearing is ringing reverberantly enough” I said, cupping a hand to one of my ears and wincing in discomfort.

She had the good grace to look remorseful and returned to her indoor voice, “I apologize for my unwarranted reaction, but this is not a joking matter Zenith. The penalty for a transgression of that magnitude is death or multiple life imprisonments via petrifaction” Her skin grew pale and her tone was grave at the very utterance, memories of having to dispense this kind of punishment before flashing in her eyes and sending turbulent ripples through her aura.

“Huh, well its not like I’m going to press charges or anything” I said with a shrug, internally pondering how they even had a death penalty to begin with. It seemed…atypically terminal of a tranquil land like this.

“You misunderstand, this is not something that can simply go unanswered. I can circumvent the law for Twilight’s sake, but I warned her the first time that to go against another being’s Will and enkindle change under any pretenses is a crime against nature itself. There must be consequences meted out, or such behavior will continue” It’s a good thing that this all is hush hush then.

“Then why look so edgy? No one knows of this and the very action of doing so came with its own consequences” I calmly remarked, invoking the ‘you will explain this’ face from the monarch.

“Elaborate” She sternly requested, just a smidgeon away from ordering.

‘Wow. Celestia can be somewhat intimidating when she speaks using singular words’ There was also a dictatorial fire in her eyes that attested to her station as the premiere ruler of this nation.

I slanted my head to the right and grinned, “Gladly. You see… when Twilight caught a momentary glimpse into my life and all of the defining events that led up to why I am who I am today, she understood me. And what she understood nearly shattered her irreparably. If I hadn’t severed the connection when I did, your student would be little more than a desolate husk of a being” I fear that she might very well end up like that, despite my efforts to mop up the angst filled spillover.

But then I remembered that Twilight has something that I didn’t when I underwent my figurative desiccation of the soul, and that’s a group of true friends to look to for support. I cut off that line of thought before it made me moody, there’s no point in agonizing over something that’s already long since said and done.

“You are suggesting that your very essence…poisoned Twilight’s spirit?” She didn’t sound angry at all like I had expected, more like uncomprehending.

“Well when you put it that way, you make it seem as if I am the villain here” I flippantly opined, making her brow furrow in ruminative conciliation.

“I am not pointing fingers nor demanding justice for any crimes, Zenith. I just want to ensure that my dear, if not occasionally imprudent student hasn’t ruined her chances of becoming your friend and showing you the redeeming qualities of solid relationships” That’s what she prioritizes? I just can’t understand these people and their covetous desire of fellowship.

“That shouldn’t be a concern, since I’ve already pardoned her” She looked legitimately surprised for a second occasion, “Although I’ll be keeping a very close eye on her for some time to come” And not just because she’s damaged my trust in her.

“That is…most commendable of you Zenith, as it wouldn’t be unjustified to scorn Twilight for her foolish actions. May I ask why you are so quick to forgive?”

I answered her question with one of my own, “If I cannot forgive others their trespasses against me, then how can I expect to be forgiven for mine?” It felt incredibly dogmatic to say, but the words rang no less true for it.

This response actually floored the Princess for several moments, “Such profound insight. You consistently prove to me that there is more to you than you let on. Perhaps even more than you realize yourself, Zenith” She eyed me curiously, a newfound spark of respect glinting in her beautiful magenta irises. I rolled my eyes at her observation. Or maybe she’s just deluding herself, what you see is what you get out of me as far as I’m concerned.

“You don’t seem terribly worried for your student’s state of mind” I deflected with narrowed eyes, averse to her accolades of my character. Only Twilight got the majority of the picture, and it was a blurry one at that.

“I’ve seen nothing in her recent letters to me that indicated anything like what you’ve described. If anything, Twilight’s personal inquires into life’s many mysteries have only increased in frequency. Though I do wonder why she did not consult with me before or after this incident”

“I can’t answer you the former, but the latter has to do with my…reaction to her tampering” She said nothing, waiting for me to elucidate further, “Twilight was in a bad way after the experience,” I left her in the dark as to how roughed up she was, “and I was less than pleased as for what occurred myself. So, I entered her mind to block her access to the memories of the event, before replacing them with ones that would explain her sore condition and keep any nagging suspicions to a minimum”

Celestia inhaled a deep breath and let it out strenuously, “It is fortunate that this is a private matter, or my hands would be tied” I didn’t like the implications of being ‘stoned’ either.

“I know all too well the value of discretion Celestia” I stoically uttered, well aware of the many undisclosed secrets that I kept in total obscurity.

‘Better than anyone else really’ Save for perhaps my immortal colleagues, but none that I knew of had outworlder knowledge. Maybe Pinkie, but I hadn’t spent enough time around her to determine just how aware she was of the bigger picture, if you could even call it awareness.

“You realize that you cannot simply bury this. You and Twilight must come to terms with one another or your relationship with her will suffer for it” Her tone brooked no argument, not that I felt the need to be contrary.

I smiled a bit at the leeway her words provided, “My terms are that her memories of what she saw stay blacked out. I’ll only fully reconcile with Twilight if she knows what she’s done…not what she’s seen” I briefly gestured to her with an index finger, “Furthermore, I want you to be our mediator, to provide a basis of jurisdiction. As well as be her emotional comfort if she becomes overly distraught at the realization that she was wrongfully meddling in things that she couldn’t hope to comprehend”

“I wasn’t aware that this was a negotiation” She said with a sportive grin.

“And I wasn’t aware that I am considered absolutely answerable to anyone other than my God” I coolly replied, daring her to challenge that irrevocable belief.

“For someone who does not wish to take on the mantle of sovereign responsibility befitting a Prince, you seem keen on shrewdly thinking like one. I accept this sensible arrangement” She observed with that knowing smile that always got on my nerves.

She continued before I could voice my ire at the unfair comparison, “But know this. You have reparations of your own to make. And I know of a way that will satisfy all parties” Her smile became a mischievous grin, one that warned me to be on the lookout.

“I’m so glad that you agreed” I sarcastically monotoned, “With that decided on, is there anything else on your mind? You seemed…pensive, earlier” I said, recollecting how she was when I first walked in.

“Those relate to matters of the state, particularly those concerning foreign affairs. You’d have to be an official member of Royalty or in the diplomatic division of government in order to be apprised of the situation” She spoke in that imperious tone that she’d use to cow misbehaving nobles into doing her bidding or evicting themselves from her sight. I spent enough time around her that I could reliably tell when she was bluffing though.

I crossed my arms together, “Very funny Celestia, are you or are you not going to tell me?”

She made a motion with her hand for me to follow her, before utilizing her golden magic and revealing a panel hidden in the stained glass that opened like a sliding screen. It led out into a balcony that not only overlooked most of the city below, but a large expanse of the surrounding region surrounding the mountain that Concordia was perched upon. Stratopolis was clearly visible, slowly orbiting around the mountaintop and distributing weather related services to the whole of the nation. There was a cool breeze coming in from the north that made the wintery air taste crisper than usual. I reasoned that she wanted to use this platform to provide a sense of perspective to what she was going to tell me.

“Nice view” I acclaimed, before I craned my head towards the Princess, “What does it have to do with our chat?”

“There have been occasions throughout history where that nice view came dangerously close to becoming a ravaged view. And only the combined efforts of both my sister and myself have prevented that from becoming a reality. Do you wish to know why I originally chose this location to make our permanent Capital after the Night Terror decimated my old castle?”

The answer was already clear to me even before she asked, “Tactical supremacy of course. This city has a distinct advantage in that is located centrally in the country, buffering it from invasions by land. Its elevation grants a high degree of visibility in almost all directions, and acts as a sort of beacon of stability and hope for the surrounding cities settlements in viewing range. It also has natural wellsprings of fresh water in case it is ever cut off from supply and or besieged. All of these things make it highly defensible, and overall an excellent location to set up a home base” It’s prime real estate through and through. This place makes the Eagle’s nest look like a run down decrepit old shack in comparison!

She nodded, “That was the largest factor, I’ll grant you. But I also chose this spot because it decreased the physical distance between Luna and I during her exile on the moon”

“Was there a motive behind that? Or did you feel that being even the slightest bit closer to your sister brought some small measure of comfort?” Celestia didn’t seem the type to make these decisions based on their figurative benefits.

“It made it easier to establish a magical connection in order to speak with her, to encourage her to fight back against the darkness that made its domain in her own heart” She sighed, and she suddenly seemed to feel all of the years she lived weigh down on her mercilessly. Her vivid ethereal hair dimmed and began to waver, with the three-pronged golden tiara that adorned her head looking more like a burdensome weight than a symbol of strength.

“But I could never get through to her. The only discourse I received was boundless hatred brimming with spite filled threats, promising to bring untold suffering upon those who she believed had wronged her” She said somberly, clutching the banister railing till her knuckles turned white and the metal began to warp under her grasp.

“And you knew that she would return, as predicted by the Sisters of Fate” I tentatively added, and she released her death grip and composed herself in response.

“I knew that I could not stop her a second time, since the Elements no longer recognized me as one of their wielders. But I also knew that they would not stay dormant either, so I set into motion a plan that took centuries before going into full effect. Of which, Magiville was a byproduct of” She said, motioning to the aforementioned town that looked like collection of tiny dollhouses from up here.

I hummed thoughtfully, “I figured as much. You weighed your decisions in both their short and long term viability, meticulously setting up the stage until you all but guaranteed the most desirable outcome for the good of all”

“To a degree” She admitted, sounding glad that she could openly speak of this to another besides her sister for a change. We both stared out at the airship traffic ferrying goods and people from all over before she resumed, “Though my student’s actions and the relationships she forged before facing my sister and cleansing her of the evil festering in her heart were all her own. I never once doubted in Twilight’s capabilities…not only as my protégé, but also as a person of respectable character. One who could not only see the good in herself, but bring out the same good in others” She spoke dotingly, a small yet profound smile gracing her lips.

‘Intermittent slip ups aside’ I pettily grumbled to myself like a curmudgeon.

“Given that this planet still has its day and night cycles and isn’t a lifeless hunk of rock, I’d say that your faith in her was well placed” I jested, hoping to lighten up the atmosphere a little.

She remained silent, and I felt like I had committed some kind of personal faux pas against her, when she spoke, “I have lived for a very long time Zenith, and there are very few I’ve known in that duration who’ve had a penchant for understatements quite like yourself”

I grinned, “Why thank you Celestia! And by the way, you don’t look a day past three hundred” I flattered her, using a hybridized form of sincerity and facetiousness.

She vocalized a rich laughter, one that was equal parts melodious and harmonious, “For your sake, I’ll take that as a compliment” She said between intakes of air. I didn’t think that my quip was all that funny, but she had a beautiful sounding laugh, so it was worth it.

“You still haven’t told me what’s been really bugging you” As much as I love bantering with her Royal Highness, I didn’t really care for her subtle attempts at diversion.

She gave me a sidelong glance, “Honestly? Right now the flavor of the week is Gryphondria”

“What about ‘em?”

“High King Aloysius the Vigilant, the current ruler of the Kingdom, and someone who is already in his twilight years, has recently taken ill. The first word we’ve received after a nearly three year self-imposed silence, and it’s grave news of all things” She chuckled a dark and mirthless chuckle.

‘Did she just make a pun? Such a morbid sense of timing!’ Gallows humor aside, this actually sounded fairly serious.

“Okay, and does he have any heirs? Furthermore, don’t Gryphondrian monarchs split power with a council of sorts?” I asked in succession, remembering what Luna had shown me in the dream world.

“He has but one heir, and she is currently serving as an official ambassador to her people in the city of Baltimӕr. Unofficially, she is being kept here for her own safety by the request of her father. As for your other question, what makes you think that a council is not itself subject to the corruption of power? Especially when it is headed by the same highborn families that foster an age old animosity towards Arcania?” She rhetorically stated, likely having seen it happen before.

I was putting the pieces together, and I didn’t like what the preliminary end result suggested, “Her safety would be in question if she stayed in her homeland, wouldn’t it?”

“That is safe to assume, yes. It is unsettling to think of what that nation could do if she was coerced into becoming subservient to the council’s agenda, or if they did away with her to establish their own puppet ruler” Oh, I could think of a few things, and most involved the use of lethal force to achieve its insidious goals.

“Out of mild curiosity, what’s the name of this heir?” I inquired, despite having a faint inkling as to who it might be.

“Her name is Gilda Gryffindor, heiress apparent to the Gryphondrian throne. I do believe that Rainbow Dash used to be on good terms with her not so very long ago” There was a tinge of disappointment in her voice, the kind that you’d hear from someone who had lost their trump card during a particularly high stakes game.

“They knew each other? And had a falling out?” I asked, feigning shock upon hearing that they had a connection. I must have been equally unreadable to Celestia as she was to me, because she made no sign that she suspected my faked ignorance.

“They attended Flight Camps together when they were much younger, striking up a friendship from their initial rivalry. Something which came to be from an exchange student program initiated by myself and Aloysius before his country became completely isolationist to ours” She recounted, lazily waving to a pair of saluting Valkyrian guards patrolling the airspace over the castle.

“Lemme guess, their relationship was orchestrated by you?” I naturally assumed.

“That was a convenient coincidence actually. You mustn’t believe that I stack every deck in my favor, do you Zenith?” She held a hand to her chest in fake hurt.

“No…just most of them” I gently retorted, garnering an amused half lidded gaze from her. A rather sexy one, at that. Discord’s verbal prodding from earlier rejoined my thoughts, and I shook myself out of my odd trance.

“While the matter of Gryphondria’s imminent succession does bear significant relevance, it is not the only thing that concerns me these days” She abruptly spoke up, caught between the habit of withholding information, and the rare chance to confide her fears in someone she mostly trusted. I ignored the fact that she kind of had to, what with me being this prophesized savior and all.

“Really? What else captures your attention?” I asked a little impatiently, as if a potentially hostile nation on the horizon wasn’t worrying enough.

“There are…ripples in the magical leylines that cross-link the whole of the Earth” She answered cryptically, “Something to the southwest of this land is causing such profound disturbances in the fabric of magic, that its tugging at my higher senses has become almost incessant” Kind of like a gut feeling that just won’t go away, I’d imagine.

“Is that bad?”

She frowned, “I do not know for certain. I cannot discern its meaning, and its origins vexingly continue to elude my comprehension like retreating shadows in the advancing light of the Sun” What an fitting comparison she’d draw, given her one primary duty as Princess.

“I’d prepare for the worst and hope for the best, anything that could cause commotion of that magnitude is most likely going to be a problem. What lies to the southwest?” I investigated further, wanting to be on top of everything. Perhaps I could effectuate safe guards to keep this country that much safer. The feathery weight of the pack and its contents strapped to my shoulders began badgering me as I thought of this.

“Vast, untamed, and incredibly unforgiving lands. With the numerous peoples that reside there eking out a harsh and violent lifestyle in large groups of roving war bands led by barbaric Chieftains. From what I’ve been told by travelers who explored and made rudimentary maps of those lands some centuries ago, the larger tribes are fond of pillaging and raiding from weaker nomadic tribes in order to sustain themselves. Spilling much blood in the process to fuel their insatiable lust for conflict” Her features darkened considerably as she related this to me.

Certain words she used roused in me a desire to ask her about Daring and where she was, but something told me that an answer from her would not make me feel any better about what she was doing out there in a dangerous world. So with a heavy heart, I remained silent as she maintained her monologue.

Her visually flawless face contorted in a grimace of distaste, “They are a recidivistic and savage people, one that thrives off of the needless suffering of others. It’s a wonder that their actions haven’t renewed and brought the icy wrath of the Windigos down upon them” There was no love in her voice for these southwesterlings, evidently.

“Off the record, what happened to the Windigos?” I asked offhand. Luna never really answered that for me.

“They dissipated…or died out a long time ago, for they were magical constructs formed of and from the proliferation of hatred. When the world was painstakingly made more peaceful, their only source of sustainment waned until it could no longer perpetuate them”

‘Ah. The old make love, not war approach then eh?’ I snickered to myself, if only all solutions were as simple as that sounded. I wizened up and continued my digging.

“Have they formed a fully fledged nation? Or are they just a collection of bloodthirsty warriors that believe in rule by the strong?” They aren’t as much of a national detriment to others if they’re too busy infighting amongst themselves.

“The latter, which I hope…and I regretfully say this, stays that way. While the notion of a hostile and nationalistic country like Gryphondria makes me shudder. The idea of a unified, strife worshiping society that is keen on spreading death and despair, downright terrifies me” Her eyes reflected her unease, going distant for a few seconds before refocusing on me.

‘The mighty Celestia? Afraid? These malevolent southwesterlings must be a serious threat then’ That clinched it, I was going to see the knowledge that I carried with me bolster the defenses of this country. I had a bad feeling about lay to the southwest, and I refused to let this nation be caught off guard by anything.

“What is the condition of Arcania’s armed forces?” This question needed to be asked if I was to gauge their state of readiness.

“Altogether with the Royal guard and the reserves that comprise the A.S.M.V forces, I can muster a little over fifty thousand men within a week” I tried not to wince at that relatively paltry number.

“And how many people call this nation their home?” I needed to estimate the solider to civilian ratio.

“Six million citizens can claim this as the land of their birth” She answered, seemingly proud of the meager (to me at least) accomplishment.

‘Is she kidding? The county I came from has half as many people!’ And that’s disregarding the San Diego region sitting just below, which would make it just about equal overall.

I did the calculations in my head, coming up with a sum total of one soldier to protect every one hundred and twenty civvies. That’s technically better than the United State’s ratio, but America also reserves the right for its civilians to bear arms for the purposes of their own defense. And I got the feeling that a country consisting mostly of women was going to need all the defensive means it could get.

“Do you think you can double that number without attracting undue attention?” I asked with a slight wince, sixty people for every soldier would be much more manageable to work with.

“Externally? Yes, no one would be able to detect a buildup. Internally? Also yes, thanks in no small part to you” She spoke graciously, throwing me off greatly.

“What do you mean?” I asked with flared nostrils, my distrust of her shadowy mind games acting up a bit.

“Do you recall Blueblood? The one who sought to absorb your title and all of the privileges that came with it? The man you thoroughly humiliated in a duel?” She asked in succession, invoking some admittedly satisfying memories of introducing his face to my fists. I actually had to pull my punches in that duel, lest I made good on my subsequent threat to scatter Blueblood everywhere.

I rolled my eyes, “How could I forget?” As if I needed a legitimate excuse to give his sorry ass a good kicking.

“Do you also remember introducing a strict regimen for his rehabilitation? One that was to be carried out by his servant Noteworthy no less?”

“I sure do, has it been working?” I’d be pissed if it wasn’t, I spent a good deal of time thinking up creative ways of teaching that sorry fool a lesson in good manners.

“Like a charm, I especially endorsed the usage of a rolled up newspaper sprayed with a special sham cologne distilled from Poison Joke to correct him whenever he misbehaved” She held a hand up to her lips to suppress a chortle of amusement, “It has had a most…interesting side effect on him, one that has straightened him out considerably”

I raised the Spock brow, “My curiosity is piqued, what effect did it have on him?”

“It gave him a unique perspective of his own misdeeds whenever he looked in a mirror, which was very often. Being on the receiving end of his own acidic tongue has made him truly understand just how horrific he’s really been. In fact, his first act of repentance was personally demolishing the statue of himself that he commissioned in his quarters” She explained, sounding oddly impressed by her ‘nephew’s’ determination to remake himself.

‘Blueblood had a statue of himself dedicated to himself? That is one of the most narcissistic things I have ever heard’ And that’s saying something, given where I originate.

“And what has he decided to do with himself now?” Color me intrigued, the fool has finally seen reason.

“He has resolved to find ways of making amends with the many many people he has wronged in his life, either in person or by proxy if he had been especially unbearable. He actually requested a personal audience with you for the chance to apologize, if you’re willing to hear him out” She informed me.

“Perhaps some other time, when the livelihood of the world isn’t at stake” I casually dodged the invitation. Still, it’s good to hear that he’s turned over a new leaf.

I brought the conversation back on track, “What does he have to do with internal political matters?”

She gave me a strange stare, “Did you not know? Blueblood is one of five on the intra-governmental parliamentary council”

The Arcanian parliamentary council ruled over everything that the Royal family delegated to them, mostly daily internal affairs stuff that wouldn’t warrant the attention of those who tended to the business of ensuring that the bigger picture would stay idyllic and fanciful.

That’s when it finally clicked in my mind, “He’s the swing vote. That’s the reason why you didn’t flat out forbid the duel even though you knew that everyone would understand and agree. You wanted me to be the one to recondition him to be more sympathetic towards the greater good!” I raised my voice, not happy at knowingly becoming her pawn. It made it even worse that I had predicted an ulterior motive like this in the first place.

She took my outrage in stride, speaking serenely to me, “Such cynicism is unbecoming of you, Zenith. Yes, this plays to my favor immensely. But I was not perfectly assured that you would not simply take Blueblood’s titles, relegating him to nothingness instead of giving him a second chance to become a less selfish person. Stripping him of his mantle would also render his seat on the council defunct, leaving an empty position waiting to be filled”

She interrupted just as I opened my mouth, “And no, I do not make any appointments to the council chairs, they are fairly elected by the populace” I promptly shut my trap and narrowed my eyes. She’s good…real good. But then how the heck did Blueblood get elected to begin with? Probably by having the nobles in his pocket would be my best guess.

“Along those same lines, may I ask why you showed him kindness? Instead of justifiably putting him in his proper place?” She asked out of nowhere. Couldn’t she already see why I did it?

I looked her in the eyes and spoke with conviction, “Partially because I believe in second chances, and partly because I also believe that those least deserving of kindness, sometimes need it the most”

I neglected to mention that my imperfect standards for judging the redemption potential of a person could be severely harsh if they harmed or attempted to harm those I cared about. I have a vindictive spirit, one whose toleration reaches its limits quite rapidly.

“What’s so funny?” I asked the woman, feeling a little insulted at her sudden peal of musical laughter.

She calmed down enough to let me in on what was so humorous to her, “You my dear Zenith! Your hidden wisdom never ceases to amaze me, especially in one so young. It does my immortal heart good to see such prudence like this exercised by those who have not learned the difficult way to be mindful of the future” She beamed at me, “I believe that while Twilight and her friends have a lot to teach you about our ideals of Friendship and Harmony, you have just as much to show them as well”

‘Twilight herself is long overdue for recognizing the difference between wisdom and knowledge’ Could she learn that though? With her stubbornly rigid mindset?

The woman’s revelation to me made me blink, which then led to rumination. Would I be as positive an influence on the Elements as they supposedly would be on me? First reaction immediately screamed in the typical negative, but second opinions began forming in the miasma of swirling doubts and uncertainties. Friendship is a two way street, and I was equally responsible in introducing them to a new perspective as they were to introducing one to me.

I remember telling Twilight on my first night in Magiville that I would give this thing a shot, but was I really? I begrudgingly admitted to myself that my efforts were half hearted at best, and indifferent at worst. What had I just finished telling Rarity just a few days ago? That I realized that it wasn’t about me, and that I had to put other’s people’s needs before my own. And what had I been doing so far? Ignoring my own principles like a big, freakin’ hypocrite. It’s not fair to others if I deprive them of the chance to get to know me better, especially when they show a legitimate interest in doing so. And with the impending upheaval saturating the political atmosphere, I might not have that much more time to give them that chance.

“So you say, Celestia” I tersely said, at a loss for any other words. She just continued to smile, blissfully unaware of just how much soul searching she had inspired in me in those previous moments.

I returned our attention to the most pressing topic, “Okay, so we know that your ground forces have room for expansion in their ranks without drawing too much heat from powerful influences within and without. But what about your naval forces?” Those were the big guns in Arcania’s arsenal, and I meant that quite literally.

“All of our surface fleet vessels are devoted entirely to coastal defense from foreign attacks by sea, but our air fleet is second to none the world over. You’ve traveled to Stratopolis and seen their central anchorage yourself have you not?” I responded with a wordless affirmative, “Then you know why Arcania’s opinions on the world stage are not taken with a grain of salt”

“Don’t you mean your opinions?” I asked with a cheeky grin, eliciting my first ever eye roll from the stern faced monarch.

“Altogether, a little over fifty airworthy ships with military applications can be called upon to enforce the will of the Arcanian people. Of which, half of those craft are the relatively modern floatwood ships of the line, with five flagships to lead them” She had a rich hint of pride in her voice. I’m thinking the Solar Monarch might have a secret fondness for Maritime might.

“Where does Arcania get this wondrous floatwood material?” It’s fascinating stuff, with its ability to stay perfectly buoyant no matter the altitude.

“There is a special grove of them flourishing near the city of Vanclover. Its discovery a little over a century ago was the product of chance, but one that has given this country a significant advantage in projecting its power. Floatwood vessels are sleek, elegantly made, and serve as a powerful reminder to those who would attack us that our response will be swift and devastating in its severity” I never thought I’d ever hear the description of ships that wouldn’t look out of place back in the Georgian era as being sleek, but this world had a weird relationship with technology.

Speaking of which, “What if I told you that I had the knowledge and know how to augment your country’s defenses multiple times beyond your wildest dreams? Securing it from most foreign and domestic threats forever?” In hindsight, I kind of made it sound a bit like making a deal with the Devil. Only I didn’t require contracts signed in blood, or any other vital fluids for that matter.

“I would ask if you were telling me the truth” She regarded me with a critical eye. And Celestia thought me the skeptical one?

“Allow me to test the waters first. Have your people managed to study and replicate the effects of the smoke and stun grenades that I gave you?” I asked. Phase two of Operation Modernize Arcania was close at hand.

“For the most part, the research team that I assigned to study and analyze the components of the smoke grenade accidentally set it off. However, they salvaged the situation and came up with a close analog of it once they saw the device in action. The stun grenade, as you called it, turned out to be a mixture of common chemical ingredients that could be found here in natural abundance, as well as storehouses containing pyrotechnics” That made sense, a Flashbang was essentially like a firecracker on steroids.

“Then I know that your people are capable of reverse engineering” I held up an index, “But how capable are they of following written instructions and deciphering schematics that I’ve drawn up?”

“Competent enough I assure you” She deadpanned, “Where are you going with this?”

I unequipped my pack and set it on the ground before proceeding to reach inside and (after a minute of searching) pull out a fat stack of papers with indelible ink markings all over them (written using the recently mass produced fountain pen no less). On closer inspection, one could see that those curlicues and numbered footnotes detailed several things from my world that I believed could benefit Arcania greatly. Several had uses for civilian life, but the majority was strictly military in their practicality.

My personal favorites among them were the ultra refinement of steel using a special flash heating and cooling tempering process; therefore making it both stronger and lighter for use in armors and other weapons, the replacement of their old style cannonry with rifled barrels to improve range and accuracy (I even drew up deployable winglets to attach to their cannonballs for use in the meantime until they develop a means for making artillery shells, same goes for jacketed hollow point bullets), and the means to make modern engines to show up the primitive ones being showcased in Steelhatten.

I handed the stack to Celestia for her perusing pleasure, who gingerly took them in her hands.

“How did you come by these?” She questioned, her eyes widening more and more as she looked the papers over.

I shrugged, “Internet. I spent last Wednesday evening utilizing my muscle memory spell and a few databanks here and there to meticulously transcribe all the useful information I could find into simple instructions for replication. I made sure to include everything, from the names of the essential materials needed to produce these things, to the mandatory machinery that will take those materials and fashion them into a finished good. The manufacturing processes which require technology that I’m almost certain that this country wouldn’t have can be easily substituted or even supplanted by some other means involving magic” Particularly using those crystals that I’ve seen functioning as mana batteries. Celestia’s face scrunched together upon hearing a term that she was not familiar with, but she didn’t inquire further. I guess she didn’t care so much about the means as she did the end result.

“The amount of information and the ideas presented here are overwhelming Zenith! Just how accomplished are your people?” I could now detect the scholar in her voice going absolutely nuts.

“I think one of our greatest all time achievements was putting a man on our moon, the first heavenly body stepped foot on by humans” And he was American! Take that, falsely communist scum!

“And all without magic…incredible” She muttered to herself, “But many of these designs…are so destructive in nature, these multi-shot firearms? Not even what the Gryphondrians have developed can come close to replicating this!” The Gryphon people have guns? All my doubts about introducing that technology suddenly feel lessened in their potency.

“I know your people have smoothbore cannons. Firearms are just a more compact and rifled version of that” I countered, “And to ease any misgivings you might have about this, you can have your people simply install a mechanism that only recognizes Arcanian soldiers and destroys the inner workings of the weapons should they fall into the wrong hands. That way, our enemies can never use them against us or study their inner mechanisms” Gizmo once told me that enchantments can be keyed towards a person’s unique Mana mark signature. I’m certain a workaround can be made from something like that.

“You’ve given this a lot of thought, haven’t you” It wasn’t a question. I was way too prepared about this.

I shrugged again, “Call me paranoid. But it never hurts to be too geared up. I defer to an old saying; ‘it is better to have and not need, than to need and not have’. And with the way the current world landscape is shaping out to be, you can’t afford not to be ready”

“You make a very compelling argument, Zenith. And were our situation not what it was, I would be most resistant in implementing the bulk of these innovations. However, I won’t risk the safety of my beloved subjects for a selfish peace of mind, so I will call together the premier manufacturing giants from the cities of both Las Valkyras and Steelhatten to begin working towards duplicating and adapting these designs for our own usage. They are our best chance at bringing the manufacturing might of Arcania to bear, so I’ll have to provide some incentives for them to strive towards. I’ll need to pen the dispatches to them first, and even after they see these papers and reconstruct the designs within them, I suspect that it will take time before we start seeing real progress on that front” She explicated at great length. I had assumed that this was her politician side speaking. I wasn’t expecting her to introduce anything right away. This stuff wasn’t as simple as a ballpoint pen to recreate.

“I know I can sleep easier at night knowing that this nation will not be wholly unprepared for the possible rigors of war” I was given the means to look this stuff up, why not put it to use for a just cause?

She exhaled tiredly, “I fear that you may be right. The recent escalating turmoil in the world can be no mere coincidence, it is likely that the final prophecy divined by the Sisters of Fate is drawing ever nearer to its realization” She solemnly stated, running a free hand through the exquisite strands of her brilliant hair, “Make the most of your time with the Elements, Zenith. I may call upon you before long” She strongly encouraged, rather than commanded me.

I fully bowed to her for the first (and likely the last) time, “And I will be there to answer that call when it comes. ‘Pon my sacred honor” I vowed to her. I’d taken a liking to this country, and I wasn’t about to see it threatened by anything.

“Rise my most chivalrous and vigilant Prince” She bid me, which I obliged to see her smiling face. One was on the verge of becoming a grin as she spoke, “You insist that you are no one special, Zenith. Yet the man I see before me contradicts that claim by an order of many magnitudes”

She laid a velvety hand on my cheek, “There is something else I wish to tell y-” Her voice was overshadowed by the sound of a shrill avian screech.

We both looked towards the sky to see an eye opening sight. A large winged creature wreathed in flame soared directly overhead, flying literal circles around disgruntled Valkyrian guards, who did their best to ignore being pestered by the playfully mischievous bird. Celestia shook her head at this sight before calling out.

“Philomena! Cease your harassment at once and get over here young lady!” Even when she wasn’t using the Royal Concordian voice, Celestia’s stentorian voice projected quite a distance.

The fiery Phoenix heard her caretaker’s voice and obeyed, breaking away from the relieved looking guards and coming to perch on the monarch’s outstretched arm. I was worried that the bird, which was still very much on fire, would burn her. But I found solace in the fact that the vermillion flames had no ill effects on her luscious skin.

Philomena was a sight to behold, clad from crest to talons in beautiful fiery red and orange plumage that would appear like it was on fire, had she not actually been alight. She was roughly as big as a young California Condor both in size and wingspan, although much easier on the eyes.

Celestia giggled as her pet greeted her with a short croon and nuzzled against her cheek before looking at me with her blazing yellow eyes and vocalizing what sounded like a dismissive remark in response to my presence.

“Now now Philomena, that’s no way to treat a friend of ours” She softly reprimanded the bird, “Zenith here is just as worthy of your affections as I am. I think you owe him an apology” The bird let out a sigh and warbled what sounded like a muffled expression of regret.

“S’cool” I remarked back to the creature of legend, before Celestia pivoted her arm towards me.

“Would you like to hold her? I promise she won’t peck…much” She simpered, and I brought my arm against hers.

Philomena took the cue and transferred perches with a hop. She was much lighter than she looked, only about as much as a Cockatoo would if I had lacked my augmented strength. I just passed it off as due to the hollowed bones that most birds of flight shared and left it at that. It was endlessly fascinating to me that despite the active flames the creature was radiating, she gave off no more heat than a cup of coffee that had been sitting on the table for fifteen minutes. Philomena seemed even more interested in me than I was in her, shifting her flexible neck and examining me from all angles as though searching for a flaw to vindicate her earlier opinion of me.

When she completed whatever assessment she was running on me, she cawed happily and began to nuzzle against me in a symbol of acceptance. In return I began scratching under her neck, receiving a positive trill of appreciation from the perky Phoenix.

“Magnificent, isn’t she? Philomena here has been my close companion for many centuries now” Celestia commented from the sidelines, watching in delighted amusement as we connected.

“She’s something alright” I agreed, watching the aforementioned fire-fowl ruffle her feathers before preening them.

“She can be a handful sometimes too, having picked up many of my quirks in that time. But her close company has been something I’ve constantly relished as time has gone by. Have you ever had a pet?”

I nodded, “Long ago, when I was much younger” I replied, as the Phoenix suddenly flapped her wings and switched from my forearm to my right shoulder.

“Have you given thought to taking care of another one? I hear Fluttershy has plenty of creatures that could use a good home and a loving master” Not her too, why was ownership of a pet such a big deal here?

“I haven’t met a creature that really clicked with me, so I’ve held off on it for now” I answered truthfully. Though the bald Eagle came close, and not for the reasons you’d think.

Philomena produced something hidden beneath the thick feathers in her breast and tapped it against my head, prompting me to reach up and take it from her beak before scrutinizing it. It was a short beaked masquerade mask that reminded me of a Falcon, having intricate and lacy golden decorations adorning it.

My brow furrowed in curiosity, “What’s this for?”

“Every Friday afternoon, we host a Masquerade ball at the palace. Of which, I hear that you are the debutant who was selected to be the man of honor” She explained with tittering undertones. She must have found it real comical for me to be receiving all of this attention, knowing how little I cared for the spot light.

“Okay” I neutrally responded, “Thanks Philomena, that saves me a trip to the local department store” She cawed graciously at my showing of gratitude.

“Wasn’t there something else you wanted to say to me?” I directed to Celestia, who just smiled and shook her head.

“It can wait, Zenith. Although I do believe Luna wished to speak with you after I’d finished talking with you first” She compiled the papers together in her hands with a shuffling motion, “I’ll be in my quarters getting started on that paperwork. Come along Philomena” The Phoenix left my shoulder and lazily floated over to her caretaker’s while the latter made her way to her ivory tower.

I returned my gaze to the mask in my hands for a lingering moment before stuffing it into my pack and spreading my wings, stepping onto the ledge and swan diving off of it. I pulled up a few meters off the ground and adjusted my course to Luna’s sanctum, landing without a sound on the balcony and knocking on the blackened doors leading inside. When I received no response barring my entrance, I twisted at the unlocked knob and opened it.

Even though the Sun was shining brightly down on Luna’s tower, no light managed penetrate the darkness. I mentally shrugged to myself and made headway into the inky blackness that seemed to swallow everything up. Not five steps into Luna’s room, the glass doors slammed shut behind me and I was completely enshrouded in the pitch-black nothingness. I would have taking a fright to the suddenness of it all, if I hadn’t already been versed in every Hollywood horror cliché known to man.

‘Ooo…this is too spooky for me’ I was positively quaking in my custom baby seal leather boots!

“Art thou afraid?” A ghostly voice whispered to me from all directions.

I wasn’t having any of it, “I’m afraid that I’m going to march right back out the door if you don’t exit the shadows and talk to me like a normal Princess should” I chided her, pointing with a thumb over my shoulder and scowling at her childish antics.

“And how would you accomplish this? It would appear as though your means for escape has vanished” I looked back and true to her word, the doors were no longer there.

I reached out with my magical senses and was assaulted by a wave of information. The swift deluge of the incoming data flow was almost painful to decode, but I found out that the doors were being moved all around the room…no, I was being moved about the room in a random pattern. One that made it close to impossible to make good on my promise to leave if Luna didn’t stop her shenanigans right now.

The Princess’ inexplicable impishness was starting to get on my nerves though, so I built up a magical current around my body and supercharged it with enough energy to emit a flare of light strong enough to banish the encapsulating cloud of shadows.

Luna yelped in surprise as her cover evaporated and the intense effulgence overloaded the photoreceptors in her eyes. She felt back onto her bed and began rubbing at her eyes until it began to wear off. She was wearing that practical long sleeved uniform that made her look kind of like an Imperial officer.

She sat up and crossed her arms together, “That was hardly fair” She had an adorable expression gracing her features as she pouted, “That aside, what brings you to our quarters?”

“Your big sis sent me, she said you wanted to speak with me” I answered simply.

“We know” She said, using that quaint nosism that she couldn’t seem to shake, “We were simply making this small talk as today’s folk refer to casual pleasantry. We are already aware that we told none of our desire to speak with you save for our sister"

“So…” I drawled, dismissing her strangeness, “I’m here. What did you want to talk about?”

She clapped her hands together at the question, “We are so glad thou asked Zenith! We wish to present something to you”

I feigned being flustered and held the flat of my hand to my chest, “For me? You shouldn’t have”

“We should, and we will” She insisted, clearly missing the point, “But we ask that you close your eyes and keep them shut before we proffer it to you”

‘I’m going to freak out if she does what every guy assumes she would’

I acquiesced anyway, “Very well”

My eyeball curtains sank lower until all was dark once more. I could hear Luna rummaging through something before vocalizing an excited, if not suppressed squeal of delight. I felt her gently grasp my right hand in hers before she placed something with a leathery grip in the center of my palm.

“You may open your eyes now, Zenith” She said with an anticipative tone.

I did as she said and was met with her optimistic face, I looked down to the object I held and discovered that it was a well made sword hilt that was lacking a blade.

“What dost thou think?” She asked, slipping back into her charming olde world tongue, “We made it with thou in mind”

“It’s a very nice hilt. I assume that it was made for my Mage-blade in mind too?” She nodded with passionate fervor in reply.

“We had been doing some thinking and we realized that we were being too hasty when we told you that a hilt for your Mage-blade was unnecessary. There are many advantages to wielding a weapon using your own two hands, as well as a certain feeling of satisfaction in personally carving your way to victory. In addition, your hilt comes with auxiliary functions”

“Such as?” I asked, after a moment’s pause.

“We were getting to that!” She sniffed, “It serves as your badge of office and symbol of your authority, and it can also be split into two halves so that it lives up to thy weapon’s name!” She seemed most pleased with her inventiveness.

‘Dual wielding action eh? Me likey’

“Stupendous!” I jovially spouted, “May I test it out?”

Her smile evolved into a Cheshire level grin, “We were hoping that thou would ask that”

Her moonstone focal gem lit up and I was subjected to the feeling of going everywhere and nowhere all at once. When my instant disorientation wore off, we found ourselves in the castle’s open aired training grounds. The same platform where I schooled Blueblood in the ways of pain was not a half minute’s pace in walking distance. The guards who were currently conducting drilling exercises at the time, hardly batted an eye at our flashy arrival. I personally found that to be a little irresponsible, what if we had been a hostile force that ported in? Maybe they had safeguards in place for that, but I had no way of knowing with certainty.

My guts churned in protest, “I hate it when you do that”

She had the grace to look mildly ashamed, “We apologize, we forget that thou require advanced warning before we cast the blink spell”

“Don’t sweat it, it’s not like I had a big breakfast anyway” I said as I waved a forgiving hand, “Why’d you bring me here? Why not the old training room where you first taught me?”

“Getting comfortable with your newfound blade is going to take more space than that room could provide, so naturally we brought you here” She explained, walking towards the direction of the stage with myself in pursuit.

“Truly? What are you going to have me doing?” I said incredulously, I just wanted to see what my fully formed sword would look like as dual blades!

“You recall from our first session together that we had put you through a trial by fire, yes? We aim to replicate the same condition here…only, we shall be your sole opponent” Her predatory smile even from this angle could chill a lesser man down to his bone marrow, but I held firm.

“Fine. I accept your challenge, oh Mistress of the Night” I said in jest, giving her the mobile version of the Sith salutation. We reached the center of the dueling platform and faced off against each other with both of us standing on opposite ends. This action attracted the interest of some of the guards, who were not busy at the moment and began chatting amongst themselves and throwing glances at us.

Luna’s face became deadly serious, a complete turn around from her previous attitude, “We look forward to this upcoming duel, Zenith. Pray you do not disappoint us” She drew Blue Moon from her scabbard and leveled it at me, the bluish light from the magic holding the blade together coursing through the flat of the blade like a living pulse.

“Aren’t you going to tell me how to fuse my shard fragments to the hilt? You didn’t include an instruction manual with this thing you know” I’d rather not get my ass handed to me right away, thank you very much.

“You and your blade are one. Outside instructions are meaningless” She responded enigmatically, much to my chagrin.

I took off my pack and pulled out the sack containing the rest of Dichotomy before levitating the bag off to the side where it wouldn’t be caught in the crossfire that was sure to come. I inhaled deeply before permitting the strands of magic that inherently connected me to my Mage-blade to connect us once again. Fifteen crimson illumed metallic fragments levitated out of the discarded sack and spiraled around me in a gentle vortex of ridiculously sharp Arcanium. I took the hilt of my blade in both hands and willed my shards to assemble one by one until I held a fully realized sword in my grasp for the first time. It was uncanny how solid the blade felt in my hands once it was completely conjoined and affixed to the hilt, freeing up my magical faculties and lessening my tactical burden. There was still some room left in the hilt’s aperture, which I made note of for later.

I could hear Luna snort in a mixture of impatience and disapproval to my excessive showmanship. She had no right to complain though, she essentially told me to figure it out myself. But how would I dual wield?

I had no further time to ponder this as Luna rushed forward faster than I could blink, closing the gap between us in less than a second and immediately forcing me on the defensive as I held my sword sideways to block a heavy handed overhead swing from the Princess. Luna clearly wasn’t holding back, I felt the full brunt of that even though I was braced with my Trifect strength! I stifled a grunt as I recoiled from the unexpectedly brutal blow.

The extremely ferocious woman seemed to favor slow but heavy strikes that gave me little choice but to backpedal away in order to avoid getting pinched inside her increasingly aggressive hacks. I spotted a small opening between the withdrawal of her blade that I used to shove her backwards with my right arm and ‘break the combo’, so to speak. I pressed my own offensive and began a flurry of quick but precise jabs that now put her on the defensive.

I was glad that my muscle memory spell had naturally began to imprint proper sword technique and foot placement, I’m pretty sure that it made me a dozen times better than when I first started out. Luna parried all of my attacks expertly and started to turn the tides back on me as she switched to similarly quick lighting swipes with an occasional stab, one of them I only managed to block right in the gist of time by shambolically reverse gripping my blade and sweeping to the side with a parry.

We both lunged at each other after a few minutes of this and crossed our blades together in a fierce lock, one that I had the advantage in thanks to my superior height allowing gravity to be my ally as I bore down against the moon monarch. She realized the futile tenability of her position and utilized all of her strength to push the both of us backwards with a jerk.

I slid to a halt and held Dichotomy in a Ko Gasumi no Kamae sword stance that was reminiscent of the ancient samurai. It didn’t serve a real purpose beyond making me look like a badass, and the mounting number of armor clad guards who were cheering from the sidelines were clearly voicing their approval of this.

Luna was actually breathing somewhat stiffly as she spoke, “We art most pleased that thou art prepared for the rigors of combat. But we long to see just how prepared thou really are!”

She fractured Blue Moon apart and sent a hail of razor sharp pieces hurling towards me. My eyes widened and I willed Dichotomy to do the same, just narrowly intercepting her deadly projectiles in mid flight and stopping Luna from doing to me what I did to the Alpha Timberwolf in the Neverfree. For extra assistance, I utilized True Sight to highlight Luna’s blade fragments to make deflecting them an easier task. Interestingly enough, Luna’s blade was only thirteen shards in total, which meant that I had an extra two free shards of my own to pressure her with.

I sent the smallest and fastest towards her and she shrieked in surprise, calling up her magic and wrestling with the magic holding mine. It felt like a stalemate, so I craftily and assiduously manipulated the air currents around us using my innate Valkyrian magic (summoning my wings in the process) to forcibly scatter her blade fragments whilst recalling my own to regroup and reform. I beat my wings once for an extra burst of speed and dashed forwards before she could recover, with the aim of whacking her with the flat of my blade and securing a victory.

Luna was faster than I gave her credit for though, and reassembled Blue Moon just as I swung downwards. Blocking my strike (which landed awkwardly due to its flatness), she seized the opportunity to sweep my feet out from under me with a sliding kick before lifting her sword high in the air and stabbing it into the ground. In a slight panic, I punched her in the shin to disrupt the precise angle of her deadly motion and rolled to the side, getting an uncomfortably close view of the edge of her blade dipping into the floorboard not three inches away from my head like it wasn’t even there.

I rose to my feet and panted from the exertion that this fight was taking its toll on me from. To my relief, Luna herself was also weary and didn’t, or couldn’t capitalize on my briefest moment of vulnerability. We both inhaled deep lungful’s of oxygen before she spoke again.

“Excellent, but we would to like to assess one last thing” She pointed to one of the closest guards who was watching the match unfold in rapt attention, “Soldier!” He snapped to attention, “Give us thy sword, now”

“Right away your highness!” He removed his simplistic Xiphos style sword from his sheath and tossed it to his Princess, who deftly caught it with her free hand.

“Is this the part where you politely bother to tell me how to split the hilt in two?” I asked without even the smallest bit of hope in my tone. Plenty of sarcasm though.

“By doing so” She answered curtly, charging forward with both blades pointed towards my torso area.

I didn’t even have time to groan before I had to block twice the number of sword swings coming my way. It’s a wonder that we were both unscathed by this whole ordeal, with only a few scuffs here and there. But if this kept up, soon one of us with have red ribbons of pain lining their skin. I surrendered myself to that tranquil state of mind in the eye of the storm and began meditating on ways I could enact dual wielding. The hilt of the sword was seamless as far as I could tell, so there was no real way I could break it apart in order to have two single edged blades I would need to withstand her attacks.

But then it gradually became clearer to me as I delved deeper into my psyche. I had named my weapon Dichotomy for a reason, and it wasn’t on a whim. I subconsciously knew that this sword would be the means to cater to my dual nature, and no puns could detract from that. It would be the physical manifestation of my twin imperatives. I wanted to laugh to myself at the sudden clarity of it all.

Dichotomy represented both my immense dedication to defend…and my equally powerful determination to destroy.

I wasn’t even aware that I had already accomplished my goal until I saw the ease with which I was now parrying and even countering the cumbersome swings and slashes Luna was doing her best to mark me with. In my right hand was a jet black simulacrum of the original grey hilt and complete blade, and in my left was another copy in that of the purest white. I wielded them with a mastery I didn’t even know I had, dexterously reverse gripping the left sword and normal gripping the right as I stopped another attempt by Luna’s twin swords to tag me dead in their pincer arc. Something about brandishing these feather light armaments just came naturally to me.

I planted my foot against her stomach and Spartan kicked her backwards with such force that she inverted in midair and had to correct herself into a flip that she landed sloppily. I pushed the offensive one last time and struck with a fast and furious series of slashes and hacks that I was tempted to name ‘Starburst Stream’, after a move from an anime that I was quite fond of.

Luna fought back valiantly, holding me off for all of thirty seconds before I slapped the Xiphos out of her left hand using a double heavy handed diagonal smash from both blades. Pushing her back even farther as she was made to rely on Blue Moon for protection. I was confident enough at this point that I made Dichotomy whole again, metaphysically joining the blades together into one body. Albeit I made a slight alteration that Luna wouldn’t notice in her frazzled state of mind.

My opportunity to end this duel was found when she attempted a vertical swing overhead in a vain attempt to catch me off guard while I momentarily ceased my assault to make my blade one. It was harder to resist the urge to grin triumphantly than it was to seize Luna’s Mage-blade between the inlet in the flat of my sword that I created by using the spare leeway in the hilt to separate the blade shards. I wrenched her weapon out of her grip with a forceful twist before I flicked out my left hidden blade and pressed it against the tantalizingly soft flesh of her neck, with Dichotomy hovering against her backside for an added touch of finality.

“Yield” I all but hissed to her. The Princess’ eyes were the size of dinner plates, either from being defeated at my hands or by our intimately close proximity. All I would have to do is just lean forward an inch and…

The roaring sound of applause complemented by raucous cheering filled my ears, causing me to take my surroundings into account. There were a great many more people than I originally remembered watching our sparring match. In fact, I’d dare say that there were twice as many people watching this now than there were for the match between Blueblood and myself. Then again, that was probably due to how this match wasn’t nearly as one sided. How often do people working here get to see one of their age old monarchs participate in such a fast paced duel?

“That was a privilege to witness, my lieges. You two were exchanging blows so quickly that we couldn’t even keep up!” One guard extolled us vehemently, with the others murmuring their concurrence. A good amount were even swapping bits between themselves as to who would be the victor, and from the look of things, my victory was a major upset.

Luna was freed from her shock after hearing the man speak, “W-well done, Zenith. You have performed beyond even our wildest expectations. We concede the match to you, for it was cunningly fought” She accepted her defeat in good grace. Going so far as to bow her head to me as I receded from her, my hidden blade making its iconic ‘shuerk!’ sound as it retreated back into the mechanism.

“To you as well, I was almost certain that you had me bested several times during that duel” I inclined my head to her in turn. I was never really the gloating type, teasing those who were asking for it notwithstanding.

“Where did you find the time to so markedly improve?” She asked me, looking around for her displaced Mage-blade.

“I’ve been practicing almost religiously. I made good use of the shadow opponent spell that you taught me whenever I had free time over the duration of my toiling at Sweet Apple Acres” I replied, and she hummed to herself in reflective cogitation.

It was one of my favorite spells to cast to be honest. There was a certain thrill in the tumultuous pandemonium of a good fight that was great for staving off boredom. It also made me a better fighter too, so there was that.

Luna spotted and retrieved her blade with a levitation spell before flourishing it in her formal salute to me and sheathing it. The action triggering that raspy sound of metal gliding against scabbard that I suddenly found myself envious of. I didn’t actually need one of my own thanks to Rarity’s creative drive to sew individual pockets for my blade shards into my robes, but it was just something that always tickled my fancy for as long as I can remember.

I broke Dichotomy down into its singular components and neatly stacked them together in the millennium old sack that I found them with, before grabbing my pack that was sitting on the sidelines, cramming the hilt inside, and egressing from the training grounds. If it wasn’t for the cool autumn air, I’m pretty sure I’d be sweltering in my thick frock coat from the vigorous strain of exercise I had endured with Luna.

Oddly enough, Luna tagged along, “Where art thou going?” She asked, a great deal more esteem for me in her voice than there was before.

I trudged onwards, not sparing her more than an acknowledging glance, “It’s past midday, and I’m expected at the Hall of Recreation for some stuffy event that I really don’t want to go to”

“But if going to this event would displease you, then why would you do so?” Lord bless Luna, she can be a Warrior Princess one moment and so naively innocent the next.

“I’m not doing this for myself, and I’m certainly not doing it for the nobles. I’m going because Rarity expects me to be there, so this is more for her sake than mine” I explained carefully to her.

“Rarity…” Luna said, testing the name on her lips, “Is she the same Rarity who embodies the Virtue of Generosity?”

“The one and only” I confirmed, and resumed walking in silence.

Luna seemed a bit miffed at my abrupt quietness, “If you do not care for our company anymore, then we will leave you be” She sniffed, and I realized my unintentional mistake.

“I meant no offense Luna! I was just…thinking, is all” I said truthfully.

“About?” She raised a brow at me as she awaited my response. Damn her nosiness!

“I’m thinking about whether or not I should give her a chance to get to know the real me, instead of snubbing her like I’ve been doing with practically everybody I’ve ever met in my life” I relented, my shoulders sagging as my pent up agitation was released at the admission.

“Are you saying that there is more to the person we see now than what was revealed to us?” She stared at me with those piercingly cold eyes.

I scratched at the back of my head, “A bit…yeah”

After a short time spent staring at me she spoke, “I would advise going through with it. And mayhap…give us the same chance while you are at it”

“I’ll be sure to factor your opinion into my consideration then” I said with a short chuckle, one which Luna couldn’t share in all her seriousness.

“I suppose we should retire back to our tower in preparation for the night court’s proceedings” She said with an upward sigh before turning to me, “Once again I congratulate you on besting us in the ring of honor, Zenith. That is not a feat many can make claim to” After seeing for myself how capable she was, I could definitely attest to that.

“I’m sure that you’d mop the floor with me more often than not, Luna” I brushed off her praise. I felt that disarming the Princess the way I did was too underhanded of me to be complimented by her.

“Nonsense!” She denied me my humility, “We know that thou art most able in the thick of it. We may even have just found a worthy sparring partner” Man, she was just showering the accolades on me wasn’t she?

“If you say so. Might I trouble you to point out where the Recreational Hall is?” Even after living here for a decent period of time, I still had trouble finding my way around sometimes.

“The ballroom is located in the west wing of the palace. Just follow the sounds of joyful merriment to their source” She directed me with a raised index finger, “We trust that you have a mask? It is considered bad form to show up at a Masquerade without one” She said with an almost imperceptible grin.

“Thanks to plucky Philomena, I do have one such mask to wear” Such a considerate Phoenix she is.

I snapped my fingers as something sprang to the forefront of my mind, “I very nearly forgot! I still have your book from when I explored the ruins of your old castle!” I reached into my pack and took it out along with my mask, handing the former to the lady of the night.

She held it reverently, running a hand along the faded cover, “We have not seen this in a very long time. We now know what our future reading material for tonight will be!” She cheerfully exclaimed before she hugged me unexpectedly, something I returned without hesitation.

“Fare thee well Zenith, we shall continue to stay in touch through the veil of dreams” She bid me goodbye as her moonstone focal gem flashed and instantly carried her away in an eddy of magic. Kind of a waste of mana, but it beat taking the stairs any day.

Left to my own devices, I made towards the western end of the castle grounds. I had to cut through the statue garden to save on time, and in doing so I saw all kinds of strange and fantastical beings locked in various dynamic poses. A darker part of my mind wondered if any of them had actually been alive at some point and not petrified, but I purged it from my thoughts, knowing that the line of curiosity that kind of thinking inspires would only come back to bite me if I wasn’t cautious. Besides, anybody who pissed off the Princesses enough to warrant being reduced to a lawn ornament was probably asking for it.

As I drew closer to the hall leading to the Royal ballroom, I could hear much trumpeting and percussion from fanfare suffusing the air. The tune sounded queerly familiar, yet I couldn’t place my finger on it for the life of me. Guests dressed in a wide array of exotic costumes and or ball gowns were lined up outside and began to cheer as the doors were opened by the palace staff, each of whom were wearing two toned black and white full faced masks that set them apart from the partygoers. The variety and quality of the masks I saw in the crowd were downright dizzying, ranging from animal masks all the way to jewel encrusted ones with golden filigrees that must have cost a small fortune to make.

I saw Rarity arrive not soon afterwards dressed in a lavishly purple Charmeuse gown that gleamed as the expensive looking fabrics reflected the light. Next to her were Fleur de lis and Blissful Bounty, who were also extravagantly clothed and chattering excitedly amongst themselves. Try as I might, I couldn’t find Fancypants anywhere in their little trio, so I assumed that he chose to forgo attending this function for reasons unknown to me. Rarity’s choice of mask appeared to be that of a feathery Swan’s, while Fleur and Bounty chose generic ones propped up on a stick.

I equipped my Falcon mask and donned it, becoming wholly anonymous to everybody save for my ‘date’. I sauntered closer to them and noted the look of the recognition flash in Rarity’s eyes as she beheld my figure and connected the dots. She opened her mouth to speak but I held an index finger to my lips, urging her to keep my identity a secret from any prying ears. I held my hand out invitingly to her and she happily acquiesced, speaking a few clipped words of parting to both Fleur and Bounty as the two intrigued women struggled to discern who I was without any kind of facial cues to work with.

‘How shallow of them that they’d only attach a name to a face first’ One other reason why I preferred living near Magiville than the city.

I led her away from them as the rest of the crowd began diffusing into the glass-paneled hall that kept up the theme of overlooking the valley, as well as some of the city itself. Everyone must have been incredibly excited, because they all started singing in unison as they filed into the massive Recreational Hall. I had the most confusing hankering to join my voice in with theirs, but adamantly kept my trap shut since I didn’t do musicals. I handed my pack to a palace servant for safekeeping. I wasn’t going to be doing any dancing lugging that thing around!

“What a splendid party,” I remarked aloud, hooking Rarity’s arm in mine.

“A prelude to a bright new year,” She agreed, waving to those who recognized her.

“Quite a sight, I’m impressed,” I grabbed a wine glass from a passing serving tray being carried by an attendant.

“Well, they do their best,” The seamstress said as she copied me.

We rose our glasses high, “Here’s to us!” We harmonized, clinking our glasses together and savoring the bizarrely bittersweet flavor of the champagne.

“You’re the toast of all the city,” She observed with a smile.

“What a pity that the others can’t be here!” I bemoaned with a shake of my head.

We made our way up the half spiral red carpeted stairs to the mezzanine as the people below launched into a chorus of sorts. Everybody was dancing jubilantly in an organized cross cutting pattern that could make some Broadway actors envious with their unpracticed yet impeccable coordination. We reached the top of the stairs where we commanded a splendid view of everything happening on the main floor.

“Think of it, a Princely arrangement, with me as your future bride~” She said in a singsong voice, joining me in watching all the marvelous activity that embodied much of what she aspired to attain in life.

She turned to me, “Why is it secret? What have you to hide?” Her voice wasn’t accusatory, but it verged on dangerous territory.

“Rarity, please don’t, not with this” I objected, taking another swig of my drink despite the fact that my Trifect metabolism wouldn’t let me get drunk anyway.

“You promised me” She reminded me, chastising me for my usual denigration.

“Zenith, what are you afraid of~?” Her melodic voice was irresistible at this point, compelling me to answer in kind.

“Let’s not argue~” I said as I set my glass aside and took her hands in mine.

“Let’s not argue~” She parroted with a forbearing expression.

“Please pretend that~…” I began,

“I can only hope~…” She followed closely,

“…you will understand~…”

“…I’ll understand~…”

“In time!” We chorused, and the people beneath our feet commenced with the grandest refrain yet. Some were twirling handheld paper fans in artistic displays of elation. Other spirited guests were doing all kinds of exaggerated motions that felt befitting in spite of their flamboyancy.

I wasn’t much for ballroom dancing, but the hybrid style waltz and allemande that I improvised by ear gave Rarity no trouble as I led her around the other couples that had joined us on the mezzanine. I loss track of time shortly thereafter, but by the stage that Rarity and I had to cease dancing in order to take a water break, the sun was beginning to set, notifying us that it was evening. I saw an open aired balcony that nobody else was making use of and rectified that, standing close to the banister rails and enhancing my perspective of the land. It was stunningly beautiful with the way it was being bathed in the subdued orange and pinkish light. It also had the side effect of making me hungry for a Cadence colored sorbet. I inhaled a deep breath and let it out into the frosty air, which was only growing colder with each passing hour. I watched it formulate into a wispy cloud that dispersed a couple seconds after being born.

The sound of heels clacking against the smooth stone surface of the balcony alerted me that I was no longer alone.

“Ready to get back to sweeping me up in your arms, my dashingly handsome darling?” I heard Rarity’s voice ask me.

“Quit it Discord, I know that it’s you” I replied without bothering to turn around.

“Spoiling my fun in no time flat! You belong with the Arcanian Royalty all right. How’d you know that it was me? You have eyes in the back of your head or something? I swear that it wouldn’t be me responsible for them!” He continued to speak in an inexplicable feminine voice, one that was almost nails on chalkboard rickety compared to his normal voice.

“You give off an ever changing aura that I can reliably detect” I answered without skipping a beat, “Today it feels like electrified pork rinds that were smothered in cheese wiz…and have also been set on fire” I loathed being around Discord, even when he’s not annoying me directly, he’s still bugging me with his very presence.

“Plus, Rarity doesn’t overdo her words to quite such a degree” I added as an afterthought.

He sucked in air through his teeth, “I thought that might have been the case. I don’t know, she never interested myself adequately for me to pay attention long enough to copy her repertoire of fashionista drama”

“Why you want to? Rarity is dramatic enough to cover all three of us!” I said with a joking scoff. I could be quite the melodramatic diva myself at times, though not nearly as expressive.

“True, very true. Ah, well” I could hear the shrug in his girly voice.

“What brings you by? I’m not much more interesting to be honest” I turned as I asked hi-…er, her.

Discord, or I suppose Femcord now, wasn’t dressed in her usual wacky mismatched business suit outfit. Now it was closer to a corporate secretary mixed with the sexy sorceress look…with a very generous amount of cleavage extending out from her lacy brassiere to boot. I may have stared a few seconds longer than was appropriate, especially considering that this was still technically a guy I was talking to. But she wasn’t calling me out on it, so I assumed that she didn’t care enough to raise a big fuss. Her voice was still irritating as all hell, but damn was she a looker.

‘Actually, the same can be said for a lot of women’

“Like what you see?” Femcord coyly asked of me, curling a finger around a jeweled choker while wearing a shit-eating grin on her face.

‘Yes’ I’d never let her have the pleasure of knowing that though.

“It disturbs me to no end that you can switch genders like that so convincingly” I sidestepped the question.

“Which would you rather see me as? Discord or Eris?” Boo! My name for her is leagues ahead in superiority.

“Whichever you want, it won’t change the fact that you’ll spoil my good mood considerably” I griped miserably.

“Tch tch tch, you shouldn’t flub what the female perspective has to offer. I could make the same changes for you…if you’re curious” She smiled toothily at me, that freakin’ snaggletooth was still present in her current form.

“If you so much as think about rule sixty three’ing me, I’ll kill you so hard that you’ll die to death” I seethed, gritting my teeth together so hard that I was afraid for a moment that I might crack the enamel.

“Eh. Don’t say I didn’t present to you the opportunity of a lifetime” She shrugged apathetically, my very sincere threat not registering with her.

“Woe is me…I won’t find out what it’s like to call myself Zion and have to deal with the instant period you’d likely inflict me with. Big deal” I sneered at her.

“Believe me, I would never be cruel enough to stoop that low. But all joking aside, I am not here to casually chat with you” Her tone dropped it jocularity, catching me off guard.

‘Discord being serious for a change?’ What was this world coming to?

“Then why are you here?” I repeated my earlier question.

“To enforce what Celestia has already warned you of, only I want to hammer the point home. Dark forces loom on the horizon, like a predator just itching for the perfect opportunity to pounce on its prey. Countless ominous portents scintillate like the flickering of a candle flame in my future sight, but all of them have one thing in common” She broke eye contact to gaze at the Sunset, a strange glimmer of coherent emotion flashing through her eyes for less than a millisecond.

“And what theme was that?”

She met my eyes with her slitted ones, “Death. No matter what you do, no matter how prepared you think you might be, death is steadily approaching this land…and the entire world will burn with its coming” She related to me, using the second most foreboding voice I’ve heard up to that point.

“That’s sure encouraging. Are you trying to tell me that this is all hopeless or something? Cause I’m a fighter till the end, regardless of the outcome” I would prefer triumphing over this dark threat, however.

“I’m asking you to do the opposite. Violent death is the worst kind of Chaos, sure it’s delectable at first, but that would be like swallowing your chocolate milk whole instead of savoring it with tiny sustainable sips” She shook her head, and I swore I heard the ringing of a cowbell, “My point is, if the world is to persevere through this inevitable calamity. It needs to stand united. Arcania alone just won’t cut it”

‘Hell yeah! Democracy for all!’ Oops, my patriotic side was showing again. Oligarchy, oligarchy!

She spun me a yarn from her past, “You wanna know something funny? If the peoples of this land simply banded together to stop my supposed ‘Chaotic Tyranny’ instead of shifting the blame amongst each other and bickering, there wouldn’t even be any Princesses today” She emphasized with her detachable quote fingers, “All they had to do was pool their magic together to overcome my own, no Elements of Harmonious Virtues required, just a little bit of teamwork and a good ol’ fashioned supercharged petrifaction spell” She spoke like someone who was the only competent person in a room full of ignorant and petulant snot nosed toddlers.

“You make it seem as if you wanted to be defeated” I esoterically commented.

“Of course I did! Do you have any idea how boring it is to win every single time? A few losses every now and again never hurt an embodiment of chaos, in fact, it even justifies my station!” She said proudly, thumping a fist against her chest and making her mammoth mammaries jiggle from the impact.

“My skills at diplomacy kind of suck, so I might need a few pointers on just how to unify the factions of the world” I couldn’t lie with a smile on my face if my life depended on it, but only because I had to smile in order to pull it off.

She laughed, and it wasn’t as ugly a sound as I’d thought it’d be, “That’s what myself and the other immortals are for, Zenith. You let us do the talking and you can be the poster boy that everyone wants to rally behind”

“Poster boy?” I don’t know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult.

“You haven’t been tainted by the ravages of time, my dear lad. Your rap sheet is so clean compared to ours that I could use it to wipe down every used lavatory in this city and it would still be squeaky!” What a colorful, if not disgusting analogy.

I fake gasped, “Even Cadence!? But she’s such a sweet woman!”

She chuckled hoarsely, “If you knew the things I know about that rambunctious girl, you wouldn’t be so quick to say that”

“My point still stands. You’re free to determine what kind of Prince you’ll be to the world. Will you be the charming and well spoken type? Or the more strategy oriented one? The possibilities for you to make your mark are endless. Believe me, I would know” I couldn’t disagree with that logic, even if Femcord was the one communicating it.

“That’s for me to find out I guess. But I promise you this, I won’t stand idly by and watch this wonderful world I now reside in be destroyed, not if there’s anything I can do about it” I pledged to the Chaotic Bureaucrat.

Her smile was far more genuine this time, “I know you won’t, Zenith. That’s one of the reasons why they chose you”

“What was that?” I furrowed my brow at her.

She clapped a hand to her lips, “Did I say something I shouldn’t have? Whoopsie! Gotta split, glad we have an understanding!” She made like paper and tore herself into tatters, before each of the pieces folded in on themselves until I could no longer see them. I certainly wasn’t going to try that method of teleportation any time soon.

Femcord had one last card to play though, as a large bag of bits containing all centuplicate pieces fell in front of my face out of nowhere, with only my hair trigger reflexes preventing their scattering across the balcony floor. I grunted in disbelief, was she trying to buy my silence now? Whatever, it saved me from having to ask either of the Princesses for a handout to fund my nearly destitute ass.

But what exactly did she mean by they? The power that brought me here takes form in a plurality? Could they possibly have the power to send me back once this is all over?

Rarity’s voice shook me out of my musings, “Zenith? What are you doing out here all by yourself?” She looked concerned for me. I had been glaring a hole in the floor for a full minute now.

“I’m fine Rarity, just thinking. I’m ready to rejoin you now” I straightened my posture and grabbed her by the arm and paraded us back down to the ballroom floor, ignoring the fact that she looked unconvinced by my words.

The fervor from earlier had died down at this point, with a few people still dancing together on the main floor, but most were sitting to the sides and dining on Hors d'oeuvres as they enjoyed each other’s company and cracked anecdotal jokes that I could only partly hear in passing. This suited my purposes, the less people for us to bump into or hear the impending conversation I needed to have with Rarity, the better.

I held up my right arm with my palm facing perpendicular of me, Rarity recognized what I was doing and copied the motion, touching hands with mine. We began circling each other with our limbs locked firmly in place, switching up every so often to keep things fresh.

“Are you going to explain to me why you tried feeding me a Love Potion back at Nigel’s?” I was going for a blunt confrontational approach, since I was in no mood for beating around the bush.

She recoiled as if struck, stumbling slightly in our dance before recomposing herself, “I-I d-don’t know what you’re referring to, Zenith”

I was not in the right frame of mind to tolerate her poorly stammered bull crap, “Don’t play dumb, Rarity. It’s extremely unbecoming of a lady like yourself”

She glared at me, “Must we have this discussion here?”

“We either talk about this now, or I walk right out that door and you never see me again” I gave her an ultimatum, wanting to see just how devoted she was to ‘capturing my heart’, as she put it.

She flinched and struggled for words, “Isn’t it obvious!?” She finally sibilated, “You’ve caught my eye. You’re rough around the edges, I’ll admit with an iota of hesitation. But every fashionista worth her weight can make something beautiful out of even the most uneven material, and learn a few things herself from the challenging experience. You’re not the perfect Prince I’ve envisioned in my dreams, but you could be much much worse than how you are now my dear; with he who must not be named being the most prominent example. But despite my efforts to appeal to you with my punctiliously executed womanly charm, you hardly bat an eye! At first I was worried that you might be sly, but you don’t seem the type. You’ve made it painfully clear that I had my work cut out for me if I was going to earn your affections properly. When Blissful Bounty told me that she had the ingredients necessary to loosen your inhibitions, I simply couldn’t resist the temptation. The Love Potion was just an act of desperation Zenith, I swear! Please don’t toss me to the side for wronging you that way!” She explained at length before clutching at the neck of my coat, all but imploring me to forgive her.

She really needed a better outlet than my intestines for venting some of her frustration, the only time I remember having a worse reaction in my gut was after ingesting three super hot chili peppers for the first time.

It was there that I recalled Celestia’s recommendation to make the most of my time with each of the Elements before I got fully immersed in the affairs of the state.

I sighed and ran a hand through my dark brown hair (one of the few things about my body that didn’t change), feeling each bristle spring back after its displacement, “Against my better judgment, I’m willing to give you a chance, Rarity” I held up a commanding finger with my free hand, “But, we will be doing this the old fashion way. So expect a gentleman caller whenever the two of us have free time” I laid down my terms for this relationship, setting up boundaries like this was important to me.

Her eyes began watering as she embraced me with a strength that belied her willowy figure, “Oh Zenith! I’m absolutely delighted to hear that!” She exclaimed rather loudly, forgoing the anonymity of the dance and alerting everyone within auditory range of who I was.

‘Damn it, Rarity’ I mumbled wordlessly.

Couples nearby stopped dancing and began chattering frenetically amongst themselves, eager to acquaint themselves with Concordia’s latest (and unwilling) fashion celebrity. Their actions caused a chain reaction that quickly spread through the crowd like a brushfire. Before long there was a growing mob of masked socialites marching towards us menacingly.

“Welp, time for you to run that interference for me!” I shouted, my asocial disposition showing its full colors.

I detached from the thunderstruck woman and made my escape, seamlessly becoming one with the shadows with a little magical aid. I snatched my pack from a counter they were using to stockpile people’s belongings before tossing a couple bits to the person on watch as a tip. I could only imagine his surprise as the hundred stamped pieces landed on his lap, with the only other evidence that I had been there being my hearty laughter.

⁂

“Arrival at Magiville in five! Last stop of the line before this ride goes out of service for the night!” The booming voice of the conductor rang out as he moved between cars and ended my reverie. All of the snoozing passengers in our cabin were startled awake, including Rarity, who upon realizing that she was in my arms, sighed happily and leaned back into me.

“M’hmm…I must have dozed off” Her fatigued voice was somewhat muffled by the pillow that the weight of her noggin was pressing against me.

“Cat napped all the way from Concordia, you did” I dryly remarked, feeling her shuffle in place as she yawned with all of the grace afforded to her as a lady.

She sighed, “I’ll have to catch more sleep than that if I’m to be awake and attentive for tomorrow’s spa date with Fluttershy”

“Are Saturdays when you normally have those spa sessions?” She nodded against the pillow, too tired to answer me with words.

‘Note to self, don’t schedule an appointment with the sizters on that day’ I wasn’t really worried about my bet with the twins being discovered (remember, they serviced the two genders separately) so much as I just didn’t want to be caught by Rarity and give her the wrong impression that I liked going to the spa.

I kept speaking, both to pass the time and keep her from falling asleep again, “You want to know something? I think a huge reason why you and Fluttershy can get along so well is that your Virtues are related. Hers is of a caring nature, while yours is of a giving nature. Both of you are quite selfless when it matters” That, and Fluttershy makes for a good listener while Rarity gratifies her loquacious tendencies.

“Hmm…very insightful of you darling” She muttered, only half awake.

The locomotive eventually arrived at the Magiville station and the brakes emitted a light grinding noise as we came to a halt. The engine let off a white stream of steam with a shrill hiss before all of the train’s occupants began tiredly vacating its plush carriages and trundled off to wherever they lived. I walked Rarity home with our entire luggage in tow as we trudged onward towards the Carousel Boutique. The woman’s movements were slow and mechanical, an indication of how she was running solely on autopilot by this time.

We reached the front of the store slash living residence before Rarity unlocked the door with a key and wiped her shoes on a quaint welcome home mat. I levitated over her share of the bags and was about to go spout my ‘good night and farewell’ shtick to her when she politely commanded me to wait there while she fetched my robes. I knew better than to protest any of her decisions and risk aggravating her already beleaguered mind, so I kept silent and did as she told me to. When she returned a couple minutes later, she handed me a large briefcase that she said contained my folded up robes along with my boots, made a passing commentary about wanting to see me in them again sometime soon, and gave me a peck on the cheek before gently shutting the door with her magic.

I surrounded my things with my own magic and made for an empty field where I was sure that no one could see me before spreading my wings and flying in the direction of my cloud house. Automatic lanterns with crystal bulbs posted all over the structure made my place rather easy to spot in the low light conditions of the night. Their combined glow contrasted with the tenebrous woods below, giving off the appearance of a lighthouse over a sea of darkness. I touched down on the front ‘landing pad’ and made my way inside, making another mental note to myself to cast wards on my door that would prevent any trespassers from entering without my permission. Intruders seemed unlikely in this area where the people were extremely considerate and neighborly, but it wasn’t a healthy habit I was intending to drop anytime soon.

After a short stop in the kitchen to deposit my cheesecake in the refrigerator, I ascended the stairs of my home for the very first time. I impulsively chose the pathway to the right, intuitively believing that the master bedroom would follow right hand placement. My memories of the floor plans that I chose when ordering the construction of this house should have served me in this task, but my own growing weariness lessened the overall efficiency of my mental faculties. I selected the nearest room with a bed in it and tossed my things unceremoniously to the side before flopping down on the mattress with all the poise of a brick. I was off on a trip to dreamland not too long after that.

I awoke the following morning with the strangest craving in my gut for bratwurst wrapped in bacon. Luna was absent from my dreams, which themselves weren’t worth mentioning either. The room I had fallen asleep in wasn’t the master bedroom as I had originally thought, but was one of my many guestrooms, all of which were very luxuriously decorated and furnished despite their simplicity.

I proceeded to explore the entirety of my sizable three floored home and summed up all the immediately interesting rooms in the following order: A semi-anechoic Music chamber (complete with instruments of all types for me to experiment with), a gym with plenty of space for me to practice close combat with my shadow dualists, and a glass domed observatory with a telescope that afforded me an unmitigated three hundred and sixty degree view of the surrounding landscape for miles. There were other rooms that deserved some recognition, but they were all mostly focused on creature comforts that I would be unlikely to make intensive use of.

Satisfied with the self guided tour, I freshened up in my guestroom’s bathroom (‘How does the plumbing even work?’) before I redressed in my casual wear and made a beeline for the kitchen. After pouring myself a nice bowl of Arcani-O’s (which I had to eat dry because there was no dairy anywhere to be found), I found that I wasn’t as aware and awake as I wanted to be. So I stepped outside onto my wispy porch and spread my wings before giving a mighty beat with them once and rocketing into the sky.

It was good conditions for flying, there were no other clouds in the vicinity besides the semi solid one my home was sitting on, the air was fresh and clear, and there was no one nearby to impede my sense of aloneness or figure out that Magiville’s newest Stellar Mage was more than he appeared. I don’t consider myself asocial out of social anxiety or anything of the like, but I did tire of the presence of others quite easily after an extended period of being around them. Being alone just…felt like a way to recharge my batteries, so to speak.

While I was ruminating on this, I took the care to rehearse several aerial maneuvers. Immelmanns, Split S’s, loop de loops, sharp banking turns where one really felt the G’s, and Peppy’s personal favorite; the barrel roll (which in all actuality is in fact, an aileron roll). I did and redid all of these until I felt like I had them down. My self enforced flying test culminated in a straight up vertical climb that went several hundred meters of altitude into the air. When I felt that I had ascended high enough, I cut power to my wings and calmly stalled in place for a fleeting moment before gravity took its course and called me Earthbound.

I was high up enough at this point that the curvature of the planet could be clearly made out. Below, I could see the many buildings that made up the town of Magiville, although at this height they looked more like wooden pinpricks than legitimate structures. Even without the aid of my wings, I began to build up serious speed with my sky dive, the whistling of wind screaming in my ears as I basked in the adrenaline rush of this favored activity. It wasn’t long before I had to extend my wings and pull up out of my nosedive, lest I wanted an unpleasant repeat of the last time I left an impact crater in terra firma.

I soared towards the outskirts of town until I spotted other Valkyrians patrolling the skies, which forced me to land somewhere between Sweet Apple Acres and the dirt path out of town that pointed north. I fast walked the rest of the way to the first and only location of my itinerary: Sugarcube Corner. I may not have been able to indulge in my odd bratwurst cravings, but I could do with a nice donut and coffee right about then.

I strolled into town, returning the usual friendly waves and good morning greetings from the locals as I sought to satisfy my urging for something sweet. Of all the notable buildings in town, I’d have to consider Sugarcube Corner the easiest to find, with the Carousel Boutique and Town Hall ranking a close second. I mean…it’s basically a commercialized version of the gingerbread house from the Hansel and Gretel fairytale for candy’s sake! It made me wonder how many people actually followed up on their curiosity and tried to take a bite out of it, only to find that the ‘gingerbread’ tasted a lot like stucco. The mental image of various passersby cringing from their honest mistake was enough to make my lips curl upwards in amusement, but only just.

I wiped the miniscule grin off my face before entering the bakery; a bell above the door jingled and announced my presence.

The interior of Sugarcube Corner was…kind of effeminate to be truthful. The support beams were painted a vivid pink and Valentine style heart decals could be found every three feet on the archways and wall moulding. The air was thick with the sweet scent of baked goods saturated with sugar, filling my lungs with a sense of warmness that I hadn’t experienced since picking up my cheesecake at Sweet Tooth’s confectionery. The most flabbergasting thing however, was the three-tiered serving tray that had regular apples and carrots piled on it, contrasting heavily with sugary motif of the bakery.

‘I guess even Arcanian bakeries have to maintain some semblance of healthy dieting’ I wryly observed to myself. I wondered if Carrot Top supplied the Cakes, and or was related in any way to Mister Carrot Cake, who emerged somewhere from the back storeroom to welcome me.

“Welcome stranger, to the Magiville famous Sugarcube Corner! I’m Carrot Cake, co-owner of this establishment alongside my wonderful wife Cup Cake and our darling children. What can I do you for, good sir?” He asked me with a genuinely interested smile.

Mister Cake was lanky man, with a bony protruding chin that accentuated his slight under bite. His main garments consisted of a baker’s apron and a candy-striped bowtie, along with one of those hats that you could get at a Krispy Kreme back home (‘Donuts seem to be on my brain today’). There was a smattering of freckles just above his nose and a genial sparkle in his eyes, one that told the world that he loved his job with all his heart. But enough psychoanalyzing on my part, I was freakin’ hungry for some fried dough.

I stepped up to the register, “Half a dozen donuts and a tall cup of coffee, if you would please” I requested.

He crooked his head to the side, “Why certainly! What kind of donuts would you like? We got glazed, jelly filled, sprinkled…” He gestured to a glass casing containing them on my right.

I shrugged, “I’ll leave that up to your no doubt impeccable judgment”

“If you say so, mister…?” He fished for a name, might as well give it to him.

“Call me Zenith” I offered him my hand, which he shook. His grip wasn’t very firm for an Agrarian, but he seemed to be the gentler sort of man.

“Zenith…? Why does that name sound familiar?” He mused aloud before his synapses fired properly, “Aha! Pinkie wanted to see you today, said it was for something vitally important” He explained, I doubted those were the specific words she used to convey that.

“Does she now?” This did not bode well for me. Of all the Elements that wanted to spend time with me, Pinkie would be most liable to tax my reserves of patience well beyond their breaking point. Don’t get me wrong, her eponymous promise to get me to smile happily was touching, but she would find one heck of a challenge in me.

He seemed to notice my hesitation and worked to counteract it, “Well you don’t have to go see her right now! Take a load off, allow me to go grab your order” He pointed to one of the very few velvet covered booths in the background.

I sauntered over to one and sat my keister down. The padding in the booth sank a few inches and swallowed up much of my body.

I rolled my eyes, ‘Well if that doesn’t make me feel fat, I don’t what will’

Mister Cake returned with my order after a couple minutes, setting down a paper box with one hand and handing me my coffee with the other.

I took a sip of my pre-creamed coffee, pleased that it was just the right temperature, “Thanks, how much do I owe you?”

He shook his head adamantly, “This is your first time here isn’t it? Our policy here is that you get thirty bits worth of free expense, to encourage our customers to become repeat customers. Right now you’re at ten” Wow, really? It’s like a freeloader’s paradise here!

“That’s a very generous business practice you have there Mister Cake, you might have just made one such customer out of me” I said, taking another swig of my frothy drink.

“That’s great! And please, you can call me Carrot. I’m not quite aged enough to qualify for perpetual senior honorifics” He bashfully spoke, scratching his head in minute self consciousness.

“I can acquiesce to that reasonable request, provided you can answer me one thing” I’ve had this question on my mind for a while now.

“And what would that be?” He asked curiously.

“Do you happen to know about Sweet Tooth’s Confectionery? Located up in the Capital?” I clarified for the thin baker.

His green eyes lit up and he laughed, “Know about it? My family’s the one who started that place up! Sweet Tooth is one of my ancestors on my father’s side, going back multiple generations. I’m said to look a lot like him at family reunions”

‘Called it’

“Ah, I had a feeling you might be connected to that somehow. Thanks Carrot” And with that the man left me to my food, telling me that Pinkie could doubtlessly be found in her room up the stairs that led to the spired part of the building.

The assortment of donuts that Carrot selected for me was diverse, though my favorites of the bunch were the two old fashion glazed ones that crumbled marvelously when mixed with the coffee. The coffee itself was excellent too, almost as good as the caffeinated drinks that Octavia had introduced to me from her favorite cafés. Sadly, all delicious things are consumed far too quickly for my liking, and I was faced with the invidious prospect of actually having to deal with the frizzy haired woman with limitless energy and little to no regard for personal space.

It was a tough decision between forsaking my social principles and bolting from the place or accepting the migraine that spending time with Miss Pie was likely to inflict me with. In the end, I acknowledged that I had been putting off one on one time with Pinkie Pie for long enough and decided to just bite the bullet. With some resentment in my heart, I clambered up the wooden steps with equally wooden motions.

The second floor of Sugarcube Corner was a lot more plainly decorated than the first, with no more than a couple dull colors painting the hallways and family photos hanging from wires nailed into the wall. I treaded lightly, fearing that even the slightest amount of noise would send Pinkie barreling towards me and prematurely ending my aspirations for facing this on my own terms. I lightly crept past an open doorway where the children’s cribs could be found (and where a partially exposed Cup Cake was currently in the process of breastfeeding said children. I was going to have to administer brain bleach to forget that image. It’s a good thing she didn’t notice me either, or the levels of awkward would double) and towards the door that had the placard of an arrow pointing upwards above it. I discovered a set of spiral stairs behind that door and began climbing those too, finding myself standing before a door with no light seeping out from beneath the door sill.

I was at a bit of an impasse here. I could either knock and see if she was inside planning who knows what for me, or I could turn tail and bail, exculpating myself with the believable excuse that no lights meant that she was in all probability, still sleeping in.

“Fortune favors the bold” I said to no one in particular, before committing myself to the task at hand. I rapped my knuckles against the door, the knocks echoing inside like the spacious interior of a cavern or cave. Or maybe it was just my imagination getting the better of me, for Pinkie answered almost straightaway.

“Who is it~?” She responded in a lilting voice from just behind the flowery portal.

I was about to respond normally, when I stopped myself. Why not have a little fun with this?

I cleared my throat and spoke in my authoritative voice, “This is the IRS. You’re late on your back taxes and there’s going to be hell to pay if you don’t cough up the moolah right now!” I knocked extra hard on the door for emphasis.

I heard a loud gasp come from within, “You’ll never take me alive, you fat cat money grubbers!” She screeched and I heard the sound of objects being knocked over as someone scrambled away from the door and up some steps with haste.

I resisted the urge to snicker at how easily she believed me, “Relax Pinks, it’s just me, Zenith”

“You mean you’re not with the government?” She asked innocently, effectively shutting my trap.

I looked up in thought, “Erm…kind of? But I don’t go around collecting taxes, so I’m not here to repossess your stuff or anything” I replied truthfully. Celestia better not make me a glorified repo man, albeit it would be a hilarious job if everyone reacted the way Pinkie Pie did if I was.

“Well in that case, head on in! But can I ask a favor of you first?”

“Okay?”

“I’m going to treat you to a little something I’ve been practicing for a while now and I want you to play the first song that comes to mind when you see it. You can do that right?” What wacky thing was she going to show me that required supplementary music?

“Yeah?” Time to shore up the mental defenses.

“Great! And the door’s unlocked, you can come inside whenever you want!” She exclaimed boisterously, and I had to berate myself for taking her words out of context.

I gingerly gripped the handle of the door and twisted at it, activating the mechanism and pushing it open before I climbed up a smaller set of stairs. The room inside was unlit and very dim, as Pinkie had drawn down the blinds over all of her windows. I advanced with caution and was about to augment my vision with a Night Sight spell, when a duo of small stage lamps suddenly lit up, revealing a small platform set up in the middle of her room that sported a red and white striped metal pole. Pinkie herself emerged from the shadows wearing a colorful spandex outfit with sweatbands on her forehead and wrists that wouldn’t have been out of place in a gym from the eighties. She took to the pole and pirouetted around it once before inverting herself with acrobatic skill and beaming at me, her insane gravity defying hair showing no indication of lolling downward.

She giggled at my bemused expression, “I can’t dance without music silly! Put something on for me!”

“I have just the thing in mind” I blankly responded, conjuring the sound sphere and playing an old favorite by Def Leppard.

“Ooh, good choice!” She complimented, before she disengaged from the pole and grabbed a syrup bottle that was sitting on her nightstand for some unfathomable reason. She then proceeded to shake it up before drenching herself with its contents, letting the saccharine viscous fluid flow down her body in long rivulets. Indeed, she was hot, sticky sweet, from her head to her bare feet.

So there I stood for the remainder of the song, just watching Pinkie Pie pole dance for me, going through all kinds of complex motions that I’m pretty sure had authentic names, but I just couldn’t recall any of them for the life of me. Even with the syrup coating her skin, she was not impeded in her efforts to impress me, effortlessly twirling around the variegated pillar and whipping her matted hair back. All things considered, this could have been a lot weirder…and less visually enticing, than it was. Something about the way she flexed and coiled her limber body around the metal bar was just hypnotic to behold.

When she was done, she detached from that metal bar and rubbed off some sweat that accumulated on her cheek before she studied my face. My natural poker face held up however, and there was a flash of consternation in her eyes that was doused as fast as it had appeared.

“Drat! I was almost certain that would do the trick!” She snapped her fingers and muttered to herself at levels that suggested that she couldn’t speak clandestinely under her own power.

She faced me with her ever present smile, “I’d offer to hug you and try to get you to smile that way, but I’m a little icky as you can probably tell. Be back in twenty thousand jiffies!” She sped past me up the stairs and into her bathroom, shutting the door behind her from wind displacement alone. Why was physics more of a suggestion in this world than an unbreakable rule?

I heard the sound of rushing water filling up a tub, along with Pinkie humming a cheerful tune and murmuring audibly to herself about ways to turn my frown upside down. I shook my head and scoffed indignantly upon hearing that. How dare she? The near constant line etched across my face is decidedly neutral, through and through. I devoted time to study the layout of Pinkie’s room before my blood pressure rose any further, pulling up all of the shutters in the room with a quick application of magic and looking around.

Pinkie’s room was not as exuberant as I had led myself to believe, and the color pink itself could only been seen in small doses all throughout the interior. It was furnished with a simple twin sized bed with a quilted sheet depicting balloons and other sweets on top of it that was located in one corner of the corner less room, two nightstands next to that bed with an oil lamp and vanity mirror on them respectively, and a dresser filled with clothes and various costumes that she likely wore at the many parties that she planned and hosted. For some reason, she also had an old style phonograph, although I couldn’t find any other records in the room beyond the one that was already under the needle. There was a pungent whiff of peppermint in the air, one that must have been from a perfume of sorts, for I could smell it on Pinkie quite strongly as she passed by me earlier.

Roughly nineteen and a half thousand jiffies of waiting later, Pinkie emerged from the restroom looking as fresh as a daisy and thrice as fragrant. She was now redressed in a pink frilly skirt and a white top that left some of the pudge on her belly visible. The girl wasn’t corpulent by any means, but she was a tad plumper than the average woman residing in this town. She vaulted over the wooden railing and landed with the grace of a cat, prompting a raised eyebrow from me at her blatant disregard for stairs. Agrarians are built tough, so they can make jumps like those without breaking anything important, but it’s still a strange sight for me to witness someone nonchalantly clear a ten foot drop like it was nothing.

She clapped her hands together gleefully, “Zenny Winny! I forgot to say it before, but I’m so glad you’re here! Now we ca-”

I interrupted before she could get another word off, “Woah woah!” I pointed a stern finger in her direction, “Only ONE woman can refer to me by that name, and you are not her” I narrowed my eyes at the party girl. Call it petty, but I take affectionate nicknames given to me very seriously. Only a very special girl can have the privilege of being even the slightest bit cutsie wootsie with me.

She was unfazed by my disgruntled reaction, “Of course I’m not her! If I was her, then who would she be? And who would take my place in the meantime? Or teach them what the secret ingredient in the rainbow cupcakes is?” She nervously spouted, growing more and more frantic as she entertained her tangent.

I held up my arms in an emphatic gesticulation, “Pinkie focu-…” My voice faded as I noticed something was amiss with my left forearm, namely something green and scaly.

I motioned to the inadvertent living accessory with my free hand, “What is this?” I spoke in my most unamused tone of voice.

She cocked her head to the side in confusion, “Huh…? Oh! It’s just gummy. That’s his way of greeting people he hasn’t met yet!” She tittered and waved it off.

“That’s nice” I pried her obtrusive pet off of me, eliciting a ‘sh-pop!’ noise as the vacuum from the suction created by the creature’s toothless bite was filled in. Gummy left his mark on me in the form of a moist patch of skin.

‘Eww…gator saliva’ I was going to have to disinfect that.

I gently handed off the tiny Alligator with the abnormally large purple googly eyes to his caretaker, who accepted him with an almost motherly disposition as she gently cradled and cooed to him while making other sounds of endearment. The gator made no signs of perceiving the abundant love he was receiving, or much of anything for that matter. How the heck did he attach himself to my arm without me noticing? It’s probably best not to think too hard about it.

While the two of them were occupied with ‘being sappy’ as Rainbow would put it, I utilized my wings to leap up to her elevated walkway with a lazy flap. I didn’t think she’d mind if I used her washroom for cleaning off her pet’s spit. I wasn’t a germaphobe like Rarity, but I had a very low tolerance for any kind of filth imposed on my person. Pinkie had a relatively Spartan bathroom, with only a ring curtained bathtub and washbasin. Next to the sink was a large bottle with a picture of bubbles on the label, presumably for taking bubble baths.

‘Bubbly baths for the bubbly girl, how fitting’ She could have shaved off a few thousand jiffies if she had chosen to forgo such needless luxuries, but that would be like telling her to forgo the eating of the sweets. It just wouldn’t compute.

I washed my hands of this nonsense (figuratively anyway) before making my way back down to Pinkie, who was no longer playing mommy with Gummy. Rather, she was facing away from me and checking a long unfurled list. Upon closer inspection, the only directive marked on the paper was ‘Go to work’, repeated over a dozen times. The fact that Pinkie and Spongebob shared a work ethic along with similar eccentricities was enough to engender a compact grin on my face. Pinkie’s left ear abruptly twitched and she pivoted in place, the suddenness of her action wiping the look off my countenance before it could fully mature.

She scratched her head in bewilderment, “Huh, my Pinkie senses were being triggered for a moment there” She commented aloud.

“May I ask which one that was?”

“It’s a newer one. I’m not a hundred percent sure yet, but I think it has something to do with you! You also make my tummy flutter every so often!”

“Hopefully not in the way I think you’re implying” I don’t know what I’d do if I found out that Pinkie was being sweet on me, pun intended.

She shook her head, “Not the butterfly kind of fluttery silly! It’s more like a sensation of my stomach turning over. That mixed with other signals informs me that something super special is going on with you! In fact, I recall my Pinkie senses picking up a disturbance coming from the direction of Applejack’s farm a short while back, someone who I wanted to see laughing, did it without me!” She blatantly invaded my personal space until our noses were all but touching. I just stared into the blue abyss that were the windows to her soul, “Was that person you, mister?”

I gave her a curt nod, “Definitely maybe” My answer neither confirming nor denying her suspicions. The event she had mentioned must have been when Apple Bloom asked me to join the Mana Mark Maidens. The memory of that inane request still makes me snigger from time to time.

“I’ll be keeping an eye on you mister serious! When you slip up, and I know that you will eventually, I’ll be there…to smile along with you!” She grinned from ear to ear, abandoning her mildly menacing moody face.

“Whatever you say” I dismissed her with a noncommittal shrug, “So is there a reason you asked to see me beyond trying to make me smile with that…earlier display?”

“Uh huh! You’re going to help me with the weekend promotional bake sale! We even received a missive in our mailbox that was delivered before dawn informing us that the Princess herself was going to pay us a surprise visit tomorrow and endorse it! Isn’t that just the most superific news?”

Dang, Celestia works fast. This is good though, after she satisfies her sweet tooth and is adored by her subjects, we can clear things up between Twilight and myself. This newfound existentialism of hers was bound to be put to rest if I could subvert it with something cathartic, like grief over her actions being erased by unexpected forgiveness. I really wanted to put all that behind us anyway. Not to mention that my intuition was advising that I should make it an effort to maintain strong relationships with each one of the Elements, both with their bearers and the virtues that they represent.

“Do the Cakes know about this? Because they didn’t seem that worried about it” I related my observation to her.

“Of course they do! It’s just that this isn’t the first time we’ve entertained a Royal guest, so they aren’t scrambling head over heels trying to make everything perfect for her arrival, since she told us herself that she doesn’t wanted to be treated as above her subjects. Princess Celestia is equitable like that. Plus with your help, we can plausibly double the amount of confections this place churns out, which means a larger inventory that people can enjoy during the bake sale!” She said as she jumped in place. Her energetic fervor was almost infectious…almost.

Well, I’ve got nothing better to do today, “Are the Cakes cool with me helping you in the kitchen?” I asked, just to be sure.

“I’m Magiville’s premiere party person! Trust me, they won’t mind if I take on a second set of helping hands” I imagine her word would carry some weight, given her already storied reputation.

“Then lead on Pinkie” I bowed and swept my arm out, gesturing for her to take the metaphorical reigns.

“Okie dokie!” She bounced slash skipped the rest of the way, with myself following close behind in a far more masculine fashion.

The layout of the kitchen in Sugarcube Corner looked more like the kind that you’d find at home than in a professional gourmet bakery, albeit all of the apparatuses were closer to professional sizes that made your normal cooking devices look like an easy bake oven in comparison. It was fully equipped with monstrous multiple racked ovens, mixers with shiny chrome bowls placed underneath their beaters, and even Taffy pulling machines. To my minor annoyance, Pinkie versed me in proper kitchen etiquette despite my insistence that I was no stranger to the culinary ways of the chef. What made it worse was that she explained everything to me in song format, and it was catchy enough that I was hard pressed in getting it out of my head, which was her nefarious intention in the first place I’ll bet.

Pinkie also showed me the downstairs basement slash pantry where all the bakery’s stocks were stored. The shelves down there were chock full of all kinds of goodies such as cookie dough packed in tubs, frosting tubes of all colorations, gummies in all shapes and sizes; the works really. No torture equipment anywhere though, much to my relief.

“You wouldn’t happen to have strips of bacon stored away in case of bacon emergencies would you?” I randomly asked, sweet and salty ideas on the brain.

She held a hand to her chin as she thought deeply, “I don’t actually plan ahead in case of bacon emergencies. But I’m pretty sure the Cakes have their own bacon in the fridge, you can just use that!”

“Excellent! Mind if I improvise using a few of these things?” I pointed with a thumb to the racks of candy goods.

“Sure! May I ask what you’re planning to improvise?”

“Something I’m sure that this bakery has never seen before, but it’s going to stay a surprise until after I’m done crafting it!” I held up a prohibitive finger.

Her hair sagged a bit before poofing back to its original state, “Aww. But that just makes me more excited to see what you’re going to make!” I wish I could suppress disappointment as easily as she could.

So I set about drifting up and down the rows collecting the ingredients required for the little plan that I had in mind, while Pinkie seemed to just be gathering simple baking constituents. We went about cooking for the next quarter hour, Pinkie baking some kind of cupcakes while I did the pre-work in preparation for the opus of all candy cookouts. That’s right, I was concocting a barbecue using sweets instead of meat…only without axing the bacon, which was currently sizzling on the stove. The mixed scents of pig fat and dulces contrasted in an oddly beautiful way, although Pinkie Pie’s nose was crinkled in aversion to the aromatic marriage. Heresy, I say!

“Did you know that you remind me of one of my sisters?” She randomly remarked, as she put another batch of cupcake batter under a mixer to be blended together by the whisking blades.

Such a comment intrigued me, “Do I? Which one?”

“My older sister Maud. You both have a ‘stony’ expression and everything!” She divulged with a snicker, finding her own parallel funny.

“Tell me about this sister of yours” I solicited, breaking apart large chunks of chocolate into the top pot of a double boiler, watching it slowly liquidate into a delicious gooey fluid.

She was all but trembling at the opportunity to talk about her family, “There’s so much to tell! She likes to keep up with the latest fashion trends like Rarity, she’s honest like Applejack, and she’s crazy knowledgeable like Twilight! She not the most talkative…but she writes amazing poetry, introduced rock candy necklaces to me, and is the best geologist this side of Arcania!” Her tone was filled with the love and respect that the younger sibling who looked up to their older sibling would have. I could never identify with such a thing, being an only child and all.

“I’d very much like to meet this sister of yours someday” We could have many interesting conversations together…or we could just stare at each other in complete and utter silence. Either of which is fine by me.

“You should! But she lives out near the rock farm where I grew up” She sighed, reminded of the distance separating them.

“Oh right, she also has a pet rock named Boulder” She said as an afterthought.

“I bet he’s got nerves of steel” I grinningly replied, having now reached my quota of bad witticisms for the day.

“I told her that once, she corrected me by informing me that Boulder was a Clastic rock and therefore wouldn’t contain the traces of ore that would be necessary to smelt into iron, which itself could be refined into steel” Maud takes things that literally? I’m starting to like her even better!

“Pinkie?” Mister Cake’s head popped around the corner, “Me and the wife are off to provide that catering order that miss Cherry Berry booked us for today. You don’t mind looking after our precious Pound and Pumpkin for us, do you?” Eeugh, I’m certainly not going to do it, toddlers are the devil.

She shut the lid to one of the ovens; having stacked it to the brim with filled cupcake pans, “Nopie dopie! But that means I would have to leave Zenith here all by his lonesome”

His head turned to me, “I trust that you can handle yourself?” He deadpanned with an unworried smirk.

I gave him a brief nod in the affirmative and he was off on his merry way. Pinkie disrobed her apron and immediately left to tend to the twins upstairs. It was early enough that no one beside myself had entered Sugarcube Corner, and would probably stay that way for some time. Most of my pre-work preparation was finished by now, which meant that I had a free hand to reenact something that was quite popular back in my High School days. I set up the counters with everything I’d need for my reenactment and slid the generous proportions of bacon strips onto a platter for later.

“Looks like it’s…” I donned an unused colander from a cabinet and some conveniently placed silver shutter shades, "Epic Snack Time!”

I began to carve in round shapes out of a flat pan laden with crisped rice, “Snap, crackle, pop! Rice crispy patties over the top!” It was going to be a large order, so I made dozens of them arranged in neat stacks. I then painted all of them with caramel streaks to emulate grill lines.

With that done, I fashioned steak shaped containment devices out of some tinfoil wraps that I found in one of the drawers. I then scooped out large amounts of cookie dough from the bins and started filling them in, “Cookie dough steaks, that’s freakin’ smart!”

I popped those into the oven and twisted the dial, having completely gotten over how much all of this familiar technology reminded me of home. While I waited for the ‘steaks’ to finish baking, I went to work battering thin rectangular chocolate bars and shaping those into fries. I individually and painstakingly dipped each and every one into the grease fryers (this kitchen really did have it all) until they vaguely resembled the salted accompaniments to any good burger. I taste tested one and found it to be satisfactory. Then again, deep frying anything could make it taste decent.

The timers for both the cookie steaks and Pinkie’s cupcakes dinged, and I took each pan out by hand, setting Pinkie’s off to the side to cool. I laid all of the cookie steaks atop a metal rack with a trough underneath to recycle the runoff from what I was about to do. It was time for my favorite part.

‘Gonna be drip drop drippin’ I took the sizable pot with the melted chocolate inside and began to temper the finished steaks with it.

“Dribbling that chocolate sauce… Dribblin’ that chocolate…sauce… Dribblin’ dat chawclate…sawce!” My voice resembled that of a manic person by the end of my rant. I wasn’t drunk enough to really do it justice, but I came close. I chuckled to myself; anyone monitoring me right now would probably be a little concerned for my mental health.

By the time I was finished, I had multiple glazed steaks ready for consumption. I borrowed from the existing inventory of pastries and donuts to make imitation hamburger and hotdog buns using round jelly filled donuts and sculpted Danishes for the false frankfurters. I had to get creative with the Taffy and gummies I had prepared and cut out in order to believably impersonate lettuce, tomatoes, and cheese. But having magic made these intimidating tasks much more practical and efficient.

I utilized the tubes of frosting I had snatched from the pantry to be my ketchup, mustard, mayo, and relish respectively. I cut open the Danishes with a knife and stuffed candy bars into them before grabbing the ‘mustard’.

“Remember to practice safe eats folks, and use a condiment!" I said in my best instructor’s voice, squirting a dollop of the thick stuff onto my creation.

After tediously assembling all of the burgers and dogs, I focused on weaving together the bacon and candied it with pepper and brown sugar, “Legendary bacon weave needs more sugar, more sugar, more sugar, too much sugar! Keep it tasteful” I slapped the hand with a large pinch of the granules and washed it in the sink.

I then baked that in the still heated ovens till it reached bacon nirvana. The bacon itself didn’t really serve a purpose in regards to the barbecue; it was just a reward to myself for being a Maverick. I took off the colander and shutter shades, wanting an unimpeded view of my masterpiece. I stood back and gazed upon my completed work, breathing in deep and inhaling the lovely scent of sugar and bacon. Just…one more finishing touch.

“Call up your dentist! Tell her she’s a little b-caw-tch!” I may have announced this a little too loudly, because I heard the sound of a child laughing elatedly not too far from me.

I turned in place to face this new intruder, finding a young Pound Cake having just crawled into the kitchen. He looked like your typical toddler in diapers, with a thin patch of brown hair on his head that was a lighter shade than his beady eyes.

I snorted and shook my head, “You didn’t hear me say that, young one” He just chortled some more, finding me amusing for some reason.

Tiny sandy beige wings sprouted from his back and he buzzed up to my face level and hovered there, holding out his arms like he wanted a hug. I think he wanted one, at least. I’m not the greatest with kids I’ll admit.

Still, I reached out and plucked him from the air, eliciting a sound of childlike delight from the adolescent. I tickled his nose with my index finger and he began playing with it in his small hands, laughing all the more.

“Pound Cake! Where did you fly off to, little guy?” Pinkie called out as she entered the kitchen area to see me holding him.

“Oh thank Celestia!” She sighed, “I was worried he might have gotten outside”

“It’s a good thing he didn’t then, huh?” I replied without looking up, cradling the boy in one arm and watching him suckle on my index like it was a pacifier. I didn’t mind the drool he got on me as much this time, gator saliva was ickier than infant saliva I suppose.

“Hey, he likes you! I had to cover myself in flour before I could catch his attention like that” She sounded equally envious and happy for me.

“And you need to keep his attention, he could have wandered someplace dangerous and put himself in jeopardy” I lightly reprimanded her. The kitchen isn’t exactly safe for children to be.

Her shoulders lowered somewhat, “I know, but keeping up with newborn Valkyrian and Stellar Mage infants is full time work! Agrarian children aren’t as problematic, though they don’t sit still for very long either”

I held him a little longer until he was placid enough for me to hand him back to her, who began lightly bouncing him in her arms. She looked at him with a faint yearning in her eyes.

“I know they’re not mine, but sometimes…I imagine having kids of my own just like them” She confessed in an abnormally quiet voice.

“And I’m certain you’ll make a great mom someday” I stated with confidence, making her cheeks flush pink at the compliment.

She smiled sweetly at me, “Thanks, that means a lot to me Zenith”

She then glanced over to the fruits of my labor, “Wowie! What is all that? It looks scrumptious!”

“That Pinkie…is going to be the highlight of this place’s bake sale” And that was me being honest, not boastful.

“If it tastes half as good as it looks, I don’t doubt it!” She nodded in agreement.

“What about this bakery’s customers? Who is manning the register?” I raised my concerns.

She waved a hand, “Oh, I just juggle between supervising these bundles of joy and tending to our clientele” As if on cue, the sound of something falling over with a loud crash followed by girlish giggling made the pink haired woman cringe. Alternating tasks? That simply won’t do.

“How about we tag team? You watch over the kids and I’ll service the customers and see to it that they can continue to cram their gullets with their sugary vices” I offered, seeing that she was stretched thin looking over the children as it were.

“You don’t have to do tha-” She was interrupted by yet another crash, “It’s a deal! Let me just let you in on what you need to know for retail” She hastily corrected.

After teaching me the basics, Pinkie was able to focus on the Cake twins. Subsequently, the number of loud crashes was drastically diminished (although not entirely neutralized). Managing Sugarcube Corner’s sales was pretty straightforward. People came in, they purchased something that I would retrieve for them, they would drop the bits on the counter (occasionally flirt with me, much to my dismay), and leave out the way they entered with their treat in hand.

It was getting close to early evening by the time the Cakes returned from the catering event, looking exhausted from hauling all of their edible wares there in push able wooden carts. Pinkie had already tucked the children in bed a few hours earlier and was able to help me out on the selling floor. She chittered excitedly about my achievement to the bleary bakers, whose eyes began to widen once they heard more about the special goodies that I had made earlier that day. They seemed astounded at her words and ventured into the kitchen to see for themselves, emerging with astonished expressions adorning their features.

They commended me on my creative initiative, although a candy BBQ theme was something that they had never been seen done before, so they didn’t know how well it would be received at tomorrow’s official bake sale. I told them that it was bound to at least be an eye opener for more people than just them, but that and Pinkie’s cupcakes would have to do either way. They more or less agreed and offered to clean up the soiled dishes that our labor’s had accumulated while Pinkie and I took the rest of the day off. The woman jumped at the opportunity to have some fun and dragged me across town to a place I’ve been meaning to pay a visit to, The Asphodel Fields.

As we passed through the doors, a deep rumbling sensation graced my ears and the rest of my body. My lips twitched upwards as I instantly recognized the song. I never figured Vinyl to be the Daft Punk type, but her choice of copied music was in good taste. Even this early in the evening, the place was packed with people wanting to get the most out of their weekend experience. While a few were sitting on the sidelines and socializing with friends, most were out on the floor grooving to the steady electronic beat flowing out of the DJ’s monster speakers. It was especially cool how the bioluminescent flowers in the ceiling changed colors every now and again in response to variations in the tempo of the song, illuminating the fog shrouding the floor and giving the club a mystic atmosphere.

Pinkie left me to my own devices once I proved more than resistant to the idea of joining her on the lit up panels lining the dance floor. I had no misgivings about dancing itself, but after having danced most of yesterday away, I wanted to just sit back and let others do it for a change. There was a persistent medley of electronic dubstep and even remixes of music that I already knew, thrumming the air with their intense vibrations. Try as I might, I couldn’t see Vinyl herself manning her turntables, and with the spell that she used to mix things up from afar, it meant that I could either waste time trying to find her…or wait for her to come find me.

I chose the latter, being too lazy to bother activating True Sight and just highlighting potential hiding spots I could flush her out of, although my desire to annoy the bartender might have played a huge part in that decision.

I sat myself in an empty stool by the bar and grinned at the barkeep, propping up my head with a fist as I leaned against the counter surface, “So…how bout making me that diet water?”

He apparently remembered me, because I saw him go through the motion of sighing heavily, “We serve actual drinks here, sir. I’ve never heard of a diet water in my life, and I’m quite well versed in all the permutations possible for drink mixes” He spoke over the roar of the music.

“You’ve obviously never heard of Sapporo then. Forget I asked for anything, nothing you can make would be potent enough to give me that fabled buzz anyway” I replied with a condescending wave of my hand.

He pointed to me with a stern finger, “I’ll have you know tha-”

“Oh lay off, Mint Julep! Can’t you tell when someone is screwing with you?” Came a familiar voice from behind me as the surrounding racket was dimmed, “Although it is kind of uncool how quick you are to dismiss my number one barkeep’s drink making skills, pretty boy” She jokingly chastised.

I gave her a sideways glance, taking in her white midriff tank top and jean shorts, “Vinny, funny seeing you here” A nickname for a nickname is fair game.

I couldn’t see it, but the slight rotating motion of her head told me that she was rolling her eyes, “Well, I only just live upstairs. What a mind boggling surprise that I can found here during club hours too!” What a snippy reply. I like a girl who knows her way around snark.

“No kidding? So have you been making good use of my IPod?” I rhetorically inquired, already getting the gist of the probable answer.

She pulled her shades down to give me a disbelieving look with her lovely crimson irises, “Dude, are you kidding? I’ve only managed to triple my crib’s regular attendance merely by playing snippets of the tunes you have on that wonderful, wonderful device of yours! You gotta tell me where I can get one of my own!”

“I see you’re quite taken with it then. And it’s one of a kind unfortunately, there are none others like it in this world” I tentatively said. The results spoke for themselves, more people partying it up at the Asphodel Fields plus kickass music from home, made for one happy Vinyl Scratch.

“You’re probably here to take it back, huh?” Her shoulders slumped as the idea of departing with my media player weighed down on her. I’d feel like a jackass if I deprived her of the thing she had become dependent on, evidently.

“Nah, it serves a better purpose here entertaining the masses than collecting lint in my pocket. You can keep it Vinyl, as long as I can drop by every now and again to give it a listen” My music memory wasn’t flawless after all.

I almost toppled over in my chair as she embraced me, “Pretty boy, you can consider yourself a permanent VIP as far as I’m concerned!”

“Why do you insist on calling me that? There’s nothing pretty about me” I objected, my masculine pride feeling a little wounded.

She pulled back from me and grinned, wagging a finger, “That would be telling, and my lips are sealed” She made a zipper motion across those lips, which were marked with blue lipstick, now that I have a closer look.

“Okay zip lip, do you still do requests?” She nodded once, still not speaking.

“Play Genesis by Justice for me if you would, please” I hadn’t heard that one in forever, especially not coming from speakers with professional output.

She booked for her turntables, apparently having to select the song manually from my IPod’s touch screen. The people in the crowd were visibly confused as the song that was playing gradually faded into one that they hadn’t heard before. Once the bass kicked in, they were appeased.

I bobbed my head to the incredibly sexy beat, ‘This song is like watching Godzilla rise out of the ocean, looming menacingly over a hapless coastal city, only to start break-dancing instead’

I felt someone tap me on the shoulder, which could have only been the barkeep since I was facing away from him to watch the action unfold on the floor. I rotated in my barstool to find out what he wanted, seeing him slide a pink drink to me. My first reaction was to check for any heart shaped bubbles, having been conditioned to do so after the first bad experience with feminine colored refreshments.

“This one’s on the house. Vinyl did say that you were a permanent VIP now didn’t she?”

I gave it a sniff, getting a hint of something like Pepto Bismol, “I don’t know…it’s not a diet water”

“Oh for the love of…are you going to drink it or not? Unless you’re willing to take back what you said earlier” He crossed his arms impatiently.

I took the glass in my hand, “Not a chance” I roguishly maintained, before downing the whole glass in a single draft. I resisted the urge to grimace, not only did it smell like pepto bismol, it tasted like it too.

“Wow” The barkeep uttered, impressed, “That stuff’s going to go straight to your head you know”

“Bah! As long as I don’t start seeing pink elephants I should be-” I trailed off as I was smacked in the face by the mother of all hallucinations.

See through Pink Pachyderms of all shapes and sizes began pouring out of the woodwork, all of them carrying parade equipment of some sort that sounded nothing like parade equipment. Elephants here, elephants there, they were everywhere! They were doing all sorts of carnival tricks worthy of Cirque du Soleil though, so it was rather entertaining to witness.

Pinkie stopped by, sweat evident in her features from all the exercise she was getting. She opened her mouth to say something to me but I cut her off before she could.

“Shh! I’m watching the Pink Elephants” I hushed the energetic frizzy haired girl.

“Oh…” She looked in the direction I was staring up at, “And what are they doing?”

“They’re walking around the bed, on their head. Clippety cloppety~” I said in a singsong voice, fully engrossed in the hypnotic motions of the transparent phantoms.

“Huh, what an unusual view” She remarked offhand, before leaving me be.

Once the illusion brought on by the drink dissipated, I spoke some more with Vinyl, who kept pestering me for updates on Octavia. Their friendship had been mostly one sided, with Vinyl holding an immense respect for the musician while Octavia saw the free spirited girl as an antithesis to her more refined disposition. I informed Vinny that Octy had recently been promoted to first chair in the Orchestra, further elaborating to the uncomprehending DJ that first chair was considered very prestigious. I left out the specific details of how she qualified, since simply thinking about the vainglorious Marvelous Melody left a bad taste in my mouth. I learned a lot from Vinyl in those hours, about how she ditched her mediocre skills with a saxophone after she had taken a class in one of the newer (and far more hip, as she had put it) electronic music programs at the academy. One of her classmates in that course happened to be Neon Lights, who she said was a bit lacking in the jams department, but more than made up for it with his lighting effects.

Strangely enough, Pinkie swung by again and told me that she had a curfew to keep with the Cakes before giving me a minute to say farewell to Vinyl.

“Had a fun time tonight? Most of those tracks I played were just for you, ya know?” She grinningly asked. How nice of her.

“Yeah, I had an alright time”

She gave me a strange look that I couldn’t discern with her shades in the way, “Just alright? I’ve met deaf people who were more enthusiastic about my tunes”

“If there’s one thing you should know about me Vinny, it’s that I tend to speak in understatements” ‘And most of the time I mean them’

“Is that previous statement included?” She quipped back with a chuckle. Touché Vinyl, touché.

The DJ thanked me a thousand times more for letting her keep my IPod and told me to come back any time I wanted (‘Even if it wasn’t during club hours’, she suggested with a cheeky wink of those brilliant eyes). It wasn’t that big a sacrifice for me really, as my laptop had an even bigger library on it (but she didn’t need to know that). There’s also the fact that I can get fresh music off of the Internet. It’s endlessly perplexing how I can still keep up to date with the usual events happening back home…but magic man. 'It is as it does’ as old Annabelle likes to say.

Pinkie and I exited the Asphodel Fields and made for her home, the girl was still lively after burning all those calories dominating the floor, but she wasn’t using any of it to talk much, to my relief. I was about to wave goodnight to her and make for the direction of my house suspended in the sky when she stopped me.

“And just where do you think going mister?”

“My house…?”

She shook her head, “Nuh uh! You’re staying over tonight, with me”

‘I am? When did this shocking development occur?’

“Like a sleepover? Isn’t it improper for an unmarried man and woman to share a room together?” I’m not saying I’d do anything untowards to her, but the idea itself presented a mental hurdle.

She giggled, “Not if they’re just good friends!” Was her simple answer.

I shrugged and went along with it. I wasn't in a mood to be contrary to the cheerful woman anyway. The Cakes must have already been asleep by the time we stepped foot inside, and Pinkie had to use a dim lantern by the door to light our way up the stairs and through the halls, with her tiptoeing for extra stealth. I just cast a muffling spell on my feet and walked normally, having a magic solution to any problem is just plain awesome.

After our careful sneaking around and getting situated in her room, Pinkie took another of her bubble baths to wash off her nightclub perspiration. I just found a spot to sit and have an Epic staring contest with gummy, who himself was sitting on a bed of newspapers. The abrupt opening of the bathroom door distracted my concentration and made me blink reflexively.

I glared daggers at the gator, “You win this round” Receiving no other response other than a blink, snide bastard.

Pinkie switched her old attire for a set of fluffy pajamas, while I had to make do with my normal clothes. She noticed something different about me as she came down the stairs and closed the distance between us before randomly licking my cheek.

Pinkie used lick! Zenith is paralyzed!

“Did you just...lick me?” I asked as I rubbed her saliva off the spot.

“Uh huh! There was a chocolate stain on you from when you were baking earlier” She enthusiastically explained, seemingly unaware of the physical trespass she had just committed.

‘This girl has zero reverence for personal space doesn't she?'

“And how do I taste?” I asked, knowing that I had no real reason to be incensed by this action.

“Like chocolate, silly billy!” She grinned. I set myself up for that didn’t I?

“My parents didn’t name me Billy” I pettily expostulated.

“Why so serious?” She asked me, “You should put a smile on that face!” Oh lord, I can already see her wearing Joker make up.

“Maybe later” I said, brushing her off as I lay back in her bed. There was enough space on it that there hopefully wouldn’t be a repeat of what I experienced waking up next to Lyra.

“Oh oh! We can tell each other super spooky ghostie stories! And giggle at them if we get too scared!" She proposed, taking to her side of the sheets and sitting up.

“I wouldn’t recommend that Pinks”

“Why not?” She asked with a tilt of her head.

“Because my ghosties giggle back” I’ve read enough creepypasta to know some stories that would leave her wide awake for days. Besides, guys my age don’t giggle, they chuckle, there’s an important semantic difference.

'Laughter may be the best medicine, but I'll self medicate whenever I feel it necessary’

After ten minutes of Pinkie suggesting activities that I immediately shot down (often before she could finished speaking, I can be a bit rude when I want my sleep), my aloofness was beginning to take its toll on her. She exhaled with exasperation evident in her breathing. She wasn’t able to suppress her disappointment this time.

“Why don’t you ever smile?” She asked out of the blue, her voice devoid of any of her usual cheer, infused with solemnness in its place.

“I can smile for you now” I gave her my best impression, which only lasted a second or two until my lips started twitching. That’s how unused those muscles were.

She shook her head, “That’s not a real smile. It doesn’t reach your eyes” She has criteria for identifying false smiles?

“Yeah, well, I smiled for you anyway. You happy?” I asked with a slight sneer.

“Are you?” She shot back, slicing into my flippant attitude like a hot knife through butter.

‘I hate it when people answer a rhetorical question with a serious one’

My jaw set in frustration, “Not terribly. I haven’t felt sincere happiness in a very long time”

“That’s terrible! Why ever not?” She pressed, ignorant of or ignoring the malaise her line of questioning was affecting me with.

“Personal reasons. Very personal reasons” I cut her off as she was beginning to open her mouth, “One’s that I don’t feel like sharing with you”

“But how am I supposed to cheer you up if you don’t talk about what’s getting you down? That’s like trying to make Zapple cupcakes for the first time without looking at the instructions!" I didn’t even know that Zapples could be transformed into cupcakes.

I wanted to growl at her insistence, but she had a point, and I did promise to be more open with the important people in my life, “I am consistently told by my dad that genuine joy is a choice, and not just a reaction to your life’s circumstances. Naturally, I disagreed heavily with this. But how can I say that now? In my position I have no right to be unhappy at all. I have all my living necessities provided for by the Crown, I’m capable of things I could only dream of just months prior, and I have selfless people like you who want to see me happy!” I clutched at my temples and groaned in frustration, “I certainly didn’t choose to be miserable…so why can’t I choose to be joyous? What in the worlds is wrong with me?”

Pinkie had the good grace to remain silent while I vented some of my pent up stress. She spoke again after I spent a short while throwing a self directed temper tantrum.

“He’s not wrong” I looked up at her, “About joy being a choice. I want to tell you a little story, about a girl who was raised on a rock farm; although technically it was a flat quarry, but I’m sidetracking myself” She shook her head to refocus, "So this girl got up at the crack of dawn every day with her father and three sisters to go searching for rocks that could be sculpted or smelted into something valuable to sell at market. It was a drab place, with barely any colors beyond darks for miles! The work was intensive, and I got a sore back from lifting solid stones more times than I could count. But the worst part about it was that nobody smiled at all! It was just work by the sweat of your brow till the sun went down to make sure that food was on the table, and my parents never bought anything sweet to eat either” I guess that would explain why she consumes so many sweets today.

I kept quiet, letting her know that she had my undivided attention, “So one day I was finished combing in the south field and was preparing to rotate to the east field…when there was a sudden rainbow shockwave in the sky that blasted away the dreary cloud cover and made room for the sunlight. There were so many colors! Some of which I had only read about in books! Seeing them in person was on a whole new level though, and it inspired something in me that I had only felt the briefest instances of whenever my father told me and my sisters that we didn’t have to work that day…”

“Do you know what I felt was?” She asked, returning to the present time from whatever flashback she was envisioning.

“Indigestion?” I answered, tripping her up and make her laugh.

She recomposed herself after a few seconds, “No, you wacky wisecracker! It was joy. I realized at that moment that life wasn’t solely about subsisting…it was about living. But how well can you live if you don’t smile? And if you can’t share that feeling of joy with others and make them smile too?” I didn’t know that Pinkie could get so philosophical, but I guess there’s just as much that I don’t know about her than she does about me.

“Rainbow shockwaves that cause epiphanies don’t come along that frequently though, so I had to think of others ways to spread this new feeling in my heart, starting with my family first. So using all of the bits I had saved up in my allowance, I hitched a ride to market from a passing merchant’s wagon and made some purchases that I brought back to the farm. I spent all of my Sunday afternoon setting up the silo where we stored our special stones and invited my family to come see what the hubbub was about. At first I thought that they disapproved, but then they started smiling too! That was the day I got my Mana mark, further affirming that I had a mission to spread my joy to the world. I can’t force people to smile or be happy, but I can help them realize that they have a few things worth smiling for” She flashed me her hands, contentedly displaying the mark as proof of her life’s purpose.

Huh, well doesn’t that make you rethink your perspective?

“And that’s how Arcania was made!” She declared, derailing the profound mood in less than ten seconds flat.

“No it wasn’t” I blankly countered.

She held a hand to her lips and stifled a titter, “I know. Just checking to see if you were paying attention. You passed!”

“Yay me” I weakly waved my hands, “Can we get some sleep now?”

“I dunno…can you try to find your own happiness and smile someday?” She shot back without a trace of spite.

I lifted my back off the bed and faced her, holding up my littlest finger, “Pinkie Pie, I pinky promise you that I will try”

“…But that’s not the gesture you’re supposed to make…” Did she really not know that there is more than one variant?

“This is the only Pinky promise that I recognize as legitimate and contractual” I kept it held up for her to hook with hers. I wasn’t going to yield on this.

She eventually got the cue and entwined her pinky in mine, which I gave a firm shake as I made my vow to her. After that, I plopped back down on the sheets and Pinkie doused her oil lamp.

“Hey Pinkie?” I spoke into the darkness that was slightly palliated by the light of the moon.

“Yes Zenn- I mean, Zenith?” She corrected herself, remembering that she wasn’t a certain adventuress with me based privileges.

“Fair word of warning, I snore louder a freight train”

My deadpan delivery must have tickled her funny bone, because a paroxysm of guffaws was her only response as we turned in for the night.

Author's Note:

Another super-sized chapter to commemorate the one year anniversary of this story (want some fries with that?). I apologize to any of you who absolutely despise having so much material crammed into a single read, but my inspirational Muse gets what she wants. On an unrelated side-note, how many of you agree that 'Material Girl' would be one of Rarity's theme songs?

~With regards,
Zenith

Comments

[AficionadoAvacado]

That alliteration, tho. Why the downvote?

[222leslie222]

you made him in to gary sue

[Zenith Starwalker]

4368751 I'll acknowledge that my protagonist is capable, but I never let him go overboard with his abilities. Besides, he's no more Gary Stu than the current Twilight, so I think I'll risk that impression.

[TheFirebird]

Sword art online and a Harry Potter references good job

[8chill]

Its always a joy to see this story updated. Especially when is involved.

Thanks for the chapter and looking forward to more.

~8chill

As an aside though.... < She dun goofed bad.

[Maeroon]

Damn, R63 Discord is HOT!

[Zenith Starwalker]

4371570 Shocking right?

[AficionadoAvacado]

4371570 hell yes she is. I'd bang her.

[AficionadoAvacado]

Wasn't THAT long of a chapter. Nice length to it, though. Mind sending me the link to the femcord image? I want to see what all that artist has drawn, y'know?

[Zenith Starwalker]

4375165 It's dclzexon

[amiamera]

The story seems to be pushing him making friends with the elements but in reality who would ever be able to trust two of them? Twilight apparently committed a capital crime...because he wasn't friendshiping fast enough. Rarity attempted to drug him because she wants to...what marry a prince? Thinks he's the perfect guy for her even if he isn't willing? Yeesh, she probably committed some type of felony with the love potion attempt. I wouldn't give either the time of day. Friendship is guilty on trust and understanding the other person's boundaries and sense of identity. Violating that self because it doesn't suit your wants and desires is not even remotely close to an idea of friendship. The only reason I can see for our protagonist to actually continue being in any form of relationship with them beyond strained aquaintance is because of his feelings that it might be important for the future.

[Zenith Starwalker]

4525961 It is true that both of these Elements have wronged the protagonist, therefore jeopardizing the very thing that they were trying to establish. But on the other hand, both are willing to apologize and make amends for their trespasses. It doesn't hurt that the protagonist was also raised to be more forgiving than most would permit (although he'll be keeping both eyes trained on them for some time to come).

[AficionadoAvacado]

4525971 thanks for the femcord. Damn she's hot. I agree with the other person though. Fuck apologizing and fuck a forgiving nature. If you tore into my soul to figure me out, I would fucking hate you. If I hadn't already killed you. But this is your guy. Do what you see fit. My real reason for coming here is to ask for the next chapter.(:

[Zenith Starwalker]

4554227 Hot, but kooky. Currently at 10K and still working on it. Personally, I'd use it as an excuse to get some extra leverage over the methodical bookworm and ensure that if I was going to play ball, I'd play it by my rules alone.

[AficionadoAvacado]

4555229 true.

[Snadz]

interesting do go on

[Balewood]

I have spent the past three day reading this in all my free time, but I couldn't help but keep 'turning pages'. Just wanted to say thanks for writing and that i'll be looking forward to the next chapter!

[Zenith Starwalker]

4602217 At 28K so far for the next one, stay patient and I'll have it to you soon!

[Toobert]

Blasphemy! There is no such thing as "too many words." Blech, makes my fingers hurt and my tongue numb just thinking about such an atrocity.

[MineLittleDashie]

Pinkie. That....made me feel very awkward.

[Despicable Kiwii]

‘This song is like watching Godzilla rise out of the ocean, looming menacingly over a hapless coastal city, only to start break-dancing instead’

Someone has to make this a thing.

[Toobert]

I bet you had no idea about that eden that was your 80k+ chapter. THAT... That was glorious.

[Whiskeylullaby]

I love the story, but come on. Zenith hollow on the inside? yeah, right. I was a soldier. I've seen men and spoken to men who are struggling with what they have done or seen. Some of those men are dead, having been unable to cope. When compared to them, Zenith's reasons for being asocial and sarcastic seem like a joke, and I doubt they'd break Twilight. Now, I may have misread or misunderstood Zenith. He may be suffering from a deep depression or some other psychological issue. However, there are times I want to slap him, and remind him there are worse fates than obtaining a 9-5 job with a fat paycheck. Things like blood-soaked battlefields and children's cancer wards.

[Sturleght Glommar]

I was positively quaking in my custom baby seal leather boots!

- Megamind.

[RC-0117]

“Her name is Gilda Gryffindor, heiress apparent to the Gryphondrian throne. I do believe that Rainbow Dash used to be on good terms with her not so very long ago” There was a tinge of disappointment in her voice, the kind that you’d hear from someone who had lost their trump card during a particularly high stakes game.

ten points to gryffindor