Destiny's Call: The tales of a foreigner in a familiar land

by Zenith Starwalker

Chapter 19: Friends of a Feather

This past week has been a real ass kicker. Between waking up at ungodly hours of the pre dawn morning and harvesting countless fields of apple trees, I was being worked for all I was worth. Did you know that Sweet Apple Acres actually has gems hidden scattered beneath its fertile soil? Because I didn’t, not until we had to uproot a tree that had been lost to termites using a couple rods of dynamite appropriated from the storage shed. The Apples cared for their trees so much that we actually held a eulogy for poor ‘Bloomdale’, complete with heartfelt tears and sobs from the whole family as we buried what was left (I managed to disguise my chortles as stifled blubbering). Once AJ had finally realized that my Trifect stamina enabled me to be thrice as quick and efficient than the average agrarian, she didn’t hesitate to capitalize on it and add even more to my list of chores around the farm.

It wasn’t just apples that the Apple family cultivated either, they also had a few fields dedicated to other food crops like corn and wheat that they made me attend to, as well as a modest herd of bovines that were to be milked for dairy production (I discovered that there are roughly a hundred udder squirts per one gallon bucket of unpasteurized milk). The act of Cattle herding itself alongside Winona was a lot more fun than I initially expected (disregarding a minor mishap that almost caused them to stampede into a nearby lake). It wasn’t really a surprise in retrospect; I had known beforehand that Sweet Apple Acres was a fully fledged farm that just heavily specialized in its namesake. It didn’t do much to soothe my mind when I had to use a freakin’ washboard and clothesline clips to sterilize and dry my clothes, not everything was better when it was simple.

Still despite the fact that I was being worked to the bone doing all sorts of repetitive things, I could finally see why some people would prefer to have this lifestyle. Farm life was straightforward, it was very peaceful, and the incredibly delicious meals that Granny Smith cooked up for us were a nice plus. It wasn’t all work and no play however, there were several occasions where I was able to volunteer to supervise Apple Bloom and her energetic friends during their activities (though that could technically be considered working).

I had to shoot down multiple ideas of theirs that I deemed well beyond the realm of reason (this was made a great deal easier with my inherent immunity to the infamous puppy dog eyes the MMMaidens tried to persuade me with). Regardless of how cool it sounded at first, ‘Mana Mark Siege Warfare experts’ was just a recipe for disaster. Though it was admittedly impressive to see them put together a half completed trebuchet with only a short consultation of some obscure historical manuscript they had ‘borrowed’ from Twilight’s treebrary and some donated pine wood from a lumberyard based in White Tail woods.

When incessant pleading to let them have free reign in discovering their special talents didn’t work, they tried giving me the guilt trip and cold shoulder treatment. Only for it to have no visible effect whatsoever, much to their mounting frustration. The cheeky little buggers even tried subverting my authority via clever ploys involving misdirection and subterfuge. A healthy dose of natural skepticism and my verification spells put a swift stop to that however. This vigilant staunchness of mine earned me the nickname of ol’ killjoy, although the adorable way the girls muttered it only made me smirk in mild amusement and make them groan in collective misery.

From my numerous observations of their little cadre, Apple Bloom still had a penchant for working with her hands, Sweetie Bell had a good singing voice (solo, that is), and Scoots was a marvel of a skater. At first I contemplated trying to suggest activities that pandered to each tween’s hidden skills, only for me to be struck with a bit of an epiphany. The Mana Mark Maiden’s friendship sprung up from their shared lack of an image designating their life’s calling, what if I had gone with my plan and succeeded in clandestinely imparting them with the singular object of their desires? Would they still be as close knit a group of friends as they were? In the end, I decided not to go through with it, let them discover their calling in due time, together of course. Besides, watching them frolic about with a joyful innocence in their little hearts reminded me of a happier time in my life, back when I was younger and the metaphorical weight of the world didn’t feel like it was bearing down on me with a grim inevitability.

My long week at Sweet Apple Acres wasn’t without its fair share of strange and awkward circumstances either. There wasn’t enough brain bleach in the world to erase the wrinkly image that was conjured when Annabelle jestingly requested that I give her a sponge bath as part of my responsibilities (‘Nope, nope, nope, nope, NOPE.EXE has stopped working’). Applejack had developed a sort of a passive affable attitude towards me since gracing me with her intimate presence that one Sunday morning. Though there was that one time where she invited me to wash off in the showers with her, and me being the nonchalant rogue I was, agreed with faux fervor. While I was expecting her invitation to be a bluff, it turns out that she legitimately meant what she said; which meant that I spent the next thirty minutes getting clean whilst also sustaining the most nonplussed half mast I’ve ever had the displeasure of experiencing.

Afterwards I had made a mental note to be more cautious when dealing with Applejack’s proffering words. It was interesting at first to see how she looked with water streaming down her golden locks, but rather unpleasant and distracting when I was sharing the same stall as her, washing away the streaks of sweat that accumulated from a hard day’s work. I suppose I should have been flattered with her rather blunt but candid visual appraisal of my junk, apparently the criteria she had been comparing me with had been the one time she had accidentally walked in on her brother when he was changing his undergarments (also not enough brain bleach for that). I initially shrugged off her compliment as was my way, but what red blooded guy wouldn’t feel at least somewhat prideful knowing that a woman had given him a positive review of his wedding tackle?

Speaking of whom, my relationship with AJ’s older brother had also progressed a good deal in the past seven days. Despite the fact that we both shared a relatively silent manner of behavior when left by ourselves, Mac made for a good confidant regarding guy stuff, always listening without interruption when I explained the nature of my many dilemmas. One of which touched upon my many misgivings involving my new love life. I had actually brought up the whole topic just after discovering the large man in the barn plucking away at an acoustic bass guitar while shuffling a sprig of wheat between his teeth, I brought my own instrument and after a curt nod of agreement on his part, we jammed to the tune of Drive by Incubus. I always found the catharsis offered from engaging in this background harmonic magic mojo to be quite fulfilling.

Shockingly enough, Big Macintosh also had a pair of lady callers demanding his attentions; the first of which was Cheerilee (which was obvious enough), but the fact that he was also courting Berry Punch was a little on the unexpected side. When asked about it, he told me that they shared a common taste in liquors and from there they struck up a relationship that eventually blossomed into a romance.

“Sometimes I just don’t know Mac. I come from a culture that is purely monogamous, and to have drawn the eyes of no less than two women makes my insides churn when I think about it” I told him one evening as we sat on the porch chairs overlooking a beautiful pinkish sunset.

A shifted brow was his first response before mulling over what to tell me, “I don’ normally mention this to anyone, but I did too at first. But good times with the both of ‘em have eased me into it”

“Cheeri Berry Sundae huh?” I jokingly prodded, although Mac didn’t look too amused at the witticism, slowly shaking his head and tossing away that wheat sprig I had usually seen him with before turning in his chair to directly look at me.

“Look, know that you don’ have to satisfy 'em both at the same time. Jus’ focus on 'em one at a time and things ought'a work out” My active imagination misinterpreted that in record breaking time, but I refrained from commenting out loud and making myself look like an idiot.

“And on the off chance that they decide they cannot share me equally?” I asked, that very real possibility being the reason I was so unsettled with this setup.

Big Mac’s deep chuckles didn’t do much to reassure me, “Then ya better be ready for a tug a’ war for yer heart”

“God, I pray it doesn’t come to that” I sighed in response, Mac sat back in his wooden chair and it creaked in protest under his burly weight.

“The funny thing is… you an’ me? We’re the simple cases. I hear talk of even larger love polygons existin’ out there in that wild world yonder” He informed me, his tone making it seem as though that were the norm. From there we enjoyed the rest of the sinking sun in silence, momentarily putting aside our troubles for that evening.

Speaking of polygons, I also learned that Macintosh handled the farm’s finances thanks to his penchant for all branches of the cursed maths. It made sense really; one couldn’t run a farm without at least a working knowledge of mathematics. Things like crop schedules, fertilizer yields and market prices meant that being both successful and innumerate were mutually exclusive. It wasn’t that his sister AJ couldn’t do math at all, it was just that she didn’t like it one bit, which was something the farm girl and I had in common. Heck, when Apple Bloom had difficulties with her arithmetic homework, the first person she went to was Big Macintosh (and when he was too busy, me unfortunately). Thankfully, the math homework assigned to tweens in this world never progressed beyond simple algebraic problems, even if Apple Bloom couldn’t comprehend the idea of mixing the alphabet with numbers no matter how many times I explained it for her.

However this whole ‘rinse, wash and repeat’ fruit farmer shtick that I patiently endured over the past week just wasn’t the kind of lifestyle I could see someone like myself ever embracing. This was compounded by the fact that I tended to get stir crazy before long. Fortunately, Friday rolled around soon enough and my agreement to housesit for Fluttershy was made the first (and only) imminent priority on my to do list after officially being released from the household of the Apples. With my things in tow, I made my way down the winding dirt paths in the direction of the Neverfree. Why someone as timid as Fluttershy would ever set up house near such a dark and gloomy forest was anyone’s guess, mine being that she tended to any critters that came to her for care and or treatment. Kind of made me wonder why Magiville even had an actual veterinarian to begin with, I was also really curious to see if her name was actually flummoxed.

Within fifteen minutes of a relaxed pace on my part, I neared the hybrid of the hobbit hole and cottage that was Fluttershy’s place. Situated on top of a mound and next to a babbling brook, the cottage and the area surrounding it was a flurry of activity even in the early hours of the morning. Numerous creatures of all shapes and sizes flocked in large groups on the grassy meadow composing the shy woman’s property, countless birds flew to and fro out of the many birdhouses set up in the trees and exterior of the cottage, squirrels and rabbits hopped back and forth carrying various foodstuffs to their nearby warrens and hollowed tree holes in preparation for winter. Even knowing beforehand that the animals in this magical world were a good deal more intelligent than the ones I was used to encountering, it was still fascinating to see the levels of precise coordination that accompanied this little song and dance of fur and whiskers.

I heaved the strap for my guitar around my other shoulder before crossing the tiny earthen bridge separating me from the wooden Dutch door leading into the cottage. I stopped just shy of the door and knocked in the typical pattern of ‘shave and a haircut’ that announced my presence and waited patiently for an answer. A set of heavy footfalls greeted my ears as the door handle rotated in a spasmodic motion and the aperture slowly swung open. Now, I could understand if Fluttershy was a bit busy and had one of her many animal friends or even her notoriously cantankerous pet Angel to open up for her, but I wasn’t expecting the one to do it to be a FREAKING Grizzly bear! The fearsome looking animal looked me up and down before growling out something that for some inexplicable reason, I interpreted as being a question as to my being there.

“Umm…I’m here to house sit for Fluttershy” I spoke tentatively, standing my ground despite the sharp looking teeth being bared at me.

Another questioning growl with a skeptical grunt mixed in.

“Look, you can ask her yourself and she’ll vouch for me. I’m meant to be here” I subconsciously shifted in discomfort, was I really having a casual conversation with a one thousand pound predator that was literally armed to the teeth?

The large creature stared comprehensively at me for a few seconds before performing the equivalent of a shrug and ambling into the background to do as I said. Meanwhile I was still trying to wrap my head over the absurdity of what I just experienced, it was hardly the strangest thing I’ve done since arriving to this wacky world, but I hardly saw myself as a bear whisperer. Within a minute of so, I heard a distinctively lighter set of footsteps approaching as the woman I had looked forward to seeing again finally addressed me in that subdued but lovely voice of hers.

“Oh, good morning Zenith. Have you come for that favor I asked of Rarity?” She looked like she had just finished grooming herself, her smooth light pink hair having a silky sheen to it that caught and reflecting the Sun’s rays.

“Yeah, I apologize if I wasn’t who you were originally expecting, but Rarity seemed a bit preoccupied with her work to be doing this. Plus I didn’t have anything else to do, so I accepted going in her place”

She shook her head with graceful forbearance and flashed me that wondrous smile of hers, “Oh… its not a problem really, this arrangement works just as well. I’ll just give you a short summary of what to expect and what you’ll need to know. Besides, I’m sure everybody would love to meet you!” She gestured me inside and I obliged her, crossing the threshold and into the interior.

The atmosphere of Fluttershy’s home felt modest, but oddly cozy. Even with the countless number of critters scurrying above and below the floorboards, everything was remarkably clean. One of my secret worries about doing this favor for Rarity was the possibility of putting up with that musty Zoo smell that followed you for hours on end. Not so with Fluttershy’s though, I’m not sure how it was done, but this sanctuary for wildlife felt and smelt sanitary enough for me to disregard the ferret that was currently spiraling around my left leg as though studying me in it’s enigmatic ferrety ways.

I set my things down by the living room loveseat and turned to face the person I was going to housesit for, I used the lull in our conversation to study her attire, admiring her yellow floral blouse and frilly green skirt combination. Honestly, she could wear anything and look absolutely stunning in it.

I idly wondered how well her modeling career progressed here as she led me into the kitchen area, “So I know that your family owned pets at one point, but how experienced are you in taking care of animals personally?” She inquired.

“Passable I guess, as long you tell me which each animals unique requirements are, I’ll do my best to make sure they get the tending they need. I won’t be able to do things like administer medical treatments though” I replied with a half shrug.

She held a wrist to mouth level, “Oh goodness! I hope you won’t have to”

I was about to assure her that it wouldn’t come to that when I felt a half eaten carrot stick strike me on the side of the head, Fluttershy gasped and quietly reprimanded her pet bunny, who was busy glaring at me from the top of the kitchen table and tapping his foot.

“Behave Angel! I hope this isn’t how you would have treated Rarity if she wasn’t as occupied as she is. Now apologize to poor Zenith” She firmly commanded, pointing a finger in my direction.

‘I guess Fluttershy really took those assertiveness lessons to heart’ I humorously noted, amazing as she was before when she was still considered a doormat, it was nice to actually see her showing some backbone to someone desperately in need of some discipline.

Angel made a short defiant squealing noise and crossed his paws together before looking away from both of us; Fluttershy had a knowing smile on her face though.

“Oh Angel” She said in a singsong voice as she stooped down closer to her pet and switched tactics, “I promise to make you a carrot salad with extra cherries when I get back, if you play nice that is” She lay down her charitable terms.

Angel’s ears flicked in curiosity as he considered it, then he made five pushing motions with his left paw and squeaked a little more, causing Fluttershy’s smile to falter a bit.

“Now Angel, five cherries is just too much sugar in one sitting for a cute little bunny like you. You know what happens when you get a sugar rush” She gently reminded the spoiled Leporid, who actually made a sighing noise and conceded. I wasn’t fooled though; I’d be keeping an eye on this treacherous bunny.

The strangely anthropomorphic creature hopped closer to where I was standing and stuck out his tiny paw, I was about to return the gesture with my index finger and shake on it when he suddenly pulled back and stuck out his tongue at me, briskly making his escape through one of the many portholes in the house before he could face my righteous judgment for leaving me hanging.

Fluttershy sighed in exasperation, “I’m so sorry about Angel, he’s really not so bad once you get to know him, I promise”

I waved it off, “It’s cool, I’m sure he’s just being protective of his wonderful caretaker”

Fluttershy’s cheeks lit up at the praise and she hid behind her long flowing hair, mumbling something that vaguely sounded like a ‘thank you’. I didn’t want her to freeze up or anything, so I cleared my throat and made a rolling gesture telling her to continue. The shy woman eventually pulled herself out of her shell and opened the door leading into her backyard and stepped through, with myself following after. Almost immediately after setting foot on the grass, my senses were assaulted by a wide array of sights and sounds. Whereas the front was filled with activity, the back was almost hectic with the amount of bustling happening. Animals of all shapes and sizes were scurrying, flapping, hopping, and even slithering about the field, occupying themselves with whatever as they awaited the gentle ministrations of the saintly woman standing next to me.

‘Just when I thought I couldn’t have any more on my plate’ I instantly followed that up with a delicious mental image of mashed potatoes and gravy next to a large slab of thick juicy steak. I shook my head to clear it of the distraction; I shouldn’t be having those kinds of thoughts in a place like this anyway.

“So when I first knocked, a grizzly bear answered the door, who was that?” I asked out of the blue.

“Oh, uhm… his name is Garrett. He comes to me for deep tissue massages on a regular basis” She answered me, avoiding looking me in the eyes for some reason. I simply assumed that she just couldn’t handle any kind of commendations without locking up and let it be.

“Am I going to have to provide him with those? The idea of working with a creature that could easily rend me in two is a discomforting thought” I tilted my head in said creature’s direction, who was currently observing an active bee hive with the utmost interest.

“Only if he asks you nicely, and you shouldn’t worry about that. Garrett is a gentle creature that wouldn’t hurt a fly; he even goes out of his way every morning to catch salmon for the other omnivorous animals so that they don’t have to hunt for themselves, something that I think should be rewarded” She explained, grabbing a jar of what seemed to be honey from an outside stock cupboard and whistled in Garrett’s direction. He looked back at us in curiosity before eyeing the treat that Fluttershy was holding and hobbling excitedly towards us before the kind woman popped the lid and offered it to the hairy Ursa, who began to clean the insides with glee and huffed happily.

After the creature had thoroughly gorged itself, Fluttershy let out two short whistles followed by a long one, all the creatures with ears in the garden instantly stopped what they were doing and assembled around us. I had often wondered what methods the woman used to get the collective attentions of all the animals she cared for, who were now currently staring at us (more specifically me) in curiosity.

“Okay everyone, Zenith here has volunteered his precious time to act in my place while I’m away for the day. I expect each and every one of you to be on your best behavior and to treat him with the respect he deserves, and I’m certain he’ll reciprocate that in turn as he gets to know all of you. Can you do that for me?” A positive chorus of chitters, tweets, and squeaks answered in the affirmative.

She nodded, satisfied with their response before turning to me, “Don’t be shy, introduce yourself to them” She softly urged me.

‘She seems to be a lot more confident around her animal friends than with regular people around, I wonder why?’

I stepped forward and thought for a moment about what kind of impression I wanted to make, with dozens of beady eyes awaiting my words. I had no doubt that these creatures were at least self aware and therefore moderately intelligent, so this next part was crucial if I wanted to gain their trust. Perhaps a polite, business minded approach mixed with sincere friendliness ought to work.

“Greetings everyone, I know that most of you are accustomed to having this endearing and selfless woman that I have the pleasure of knowing see to it that each and every one of you are well cared for. I assure you that while I might appear woefully inadequate in comparison to her no doubt masterful safekeeping skills, I ask that you find it in your hearts to at least give me a chance to prove my worth” It may have been overdoing it, but I bowed respectfully as if I had made a serious proposition to a member of foreign royalty.

The many creatures in the garden actually convened and discussed amongst themselves what I had told them. For the most part, they sounded like they were in unanimous agreement, with only a few protesting whines and hisses alerting me to potential dissenters.

‘Why am I not surprised that one of them is a snake?’ I imperceptibly shook my head, silently making contingency plans to quash any potential rebellions before the discontent spread like wildfire.

Before I could create any more backup plans, the animals all turned to face the two of us. One of them, a toucan of all creatures, flew forward and set up perch on my shoulder. It vocalized a long and approving caw and the rest of the assembly similarly voiced their assent. I wasn’t really knowledgeable about making friends with the wildlife, so I could only assume that I was off to a good start. I craned my head sideways to Fluttershy, who was looking upon the scene with a half amused, half delighted smile.

I rubbed my hands together to simulate excited eagerness, “Well that’s one thing out of the way, lets go over my responsibilities before we see you off”

The reserved woman mirrored my seeming anticipation, “Of course!”

The next fifteen minutes were spent being educated on the needs of each creature that Fluttershy regularly attended to. It wasn’t anything terribly complex to my relief. Feeding schedules were uniform for both diurnal and nocturnal creatures, most of the animals were old enough that they didn’t need to have their various appendages constantly held, and individual quirks and special needs were few and far between. I asked about the chicken coop that Fluttershy owned and she explained that it functioned as a home for Elizabeak and the other hens as well as a small source of income from the selling of the many eggs they laid. Fluttershy also taught me the system of whistle combinations that she used to keep everything orderly; I found it incredibly amusing to discover that the wake up call was fashioned in the same style as reveille.

Once I was sufficiently versed in the day to day operations of casa flutters, she pardoned herself to retrieve something from upstairs before her departure. Meanwhile, I was busy rifling through her tiny kitchen cabinets in search of something to steep my mug of warm water with, when I caught a flicker of motion in the edges of my vision. I temporarily put aside my search for some relaxing herbal tea and investigated the disturbance, my search led me to a refrigerator (‘Technology! Why you no make sense here!?’) that had a calendar pinned on depicting the month and a particular pastime associated with it. For the month of November, it showed a nondescript person walking along a row of vibrant maple trees that were slowly shedding their leaves. The moment I stared at it for more than three seconds, the picture started to become more animated, with the person developing a hop in their step as walked along the serene forest. It was almost like those lively paintings and newspaper clippings in the Harry Potter series now that I thought about it.

Curiosity got the better of me and I flipped through the pages, each portraying another scene corresponding with the respective months until I reached the month of June, at which point the image of Discord wearing a mankini while lounging in beach chair with a margarita in his hand branded its way into my memory forever.

“Oh Christ, my eyes!” I recoiled in horror and the calendar fell to the floor with a flop.

Given the circumstances, I think my reaction was understandable. Ol’ Disky however, didn’t seem to agree with that sentiment. The calendar flapped until it was level with me and quickly righted itself until the awful centerfold was mere inches from my face.

“I know I’m not exactly gifted in the looks department, but that was just uncalled for” He pseudo scowled, his eyebrows popping of his forehead and realigning themselves until they matched his expression.

“Wearing that outfit? What kind of reaction were you expecting?” Sweet Stars above, what if Fluttershy had walked in and seen that?

He laid a hand against his face in a dramatic fashion not unlike a certain dressmaker, “Your cruel words wound me! Not all of us can seduce Princesses with our devilish looks and charm alone. Is that how you’d treat your good pal Discord?” His attempt at the puppy eyes had even less of an effect than the Mana Mark Maidens, the mankini didn’t do him any favors either.

I narrowed my eyes at the annoying bureaucrat, “We are hardly friends. That reminds me, I still have to wring your neck for siccing a bewitched Celestia on me. I imagine she was none too pleased with you tampering with her morning tea”

“Are you still upset over that pish posh? If it makes you feel any better, that prank cost me my magic privileges for days. Have you ever had to deal with mountains of contradictory manuscripts and documents yourself without a veritable army of brooms imbued with accounting and cataloging knowledge? I may be a reformed lord of Chaos, but forcing me to run a rat race like that without my powers is just low” He literally vented steam as he explained how much his prankster antics cost him. The calendar then decided to remove what little space there was separating the still ridiculously dressed Lord of Chaos and myself and get directly in my business.

“As for bewitching Celestia? I’ll have you know that even I cannot plant feelings and secret yearnings where none have previously existed. It would seem that our dear Princess of the Sun is hiding some things from you” He chuckled in a way that absolutely could not be trusted, it’s not as if what he told me was anything I didn’t already suspect to begin with, being the meticulously paranoid bucko that I am.

I pointedly ignored his attempt at getting under my skin, opting to ask a question instead, “Are you actually inside that calendar? Or is it just acting as some kind of interactive scrying window?” I reached out with my magic to analyze the object when I felt my influence get rebuffed by whatever spell Discord was using to have this conversation with me.

“Tsk tsk Prince Zenith. Hasn’t anyone ever told you that it’s impolite to intermingle your magic with that of someone else’s? Think of the scandal that could arouse if you went about meshing your essence with that of other people’s willy-nilly. It’s a total disregard of personal space is what it is!” I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at calling me the dreaded P word and the sheer hypocrisy of his statement.

“Says the guy who’s practically shoving his pictorial balls in my face” I retorted, “And no, I wasn’t informed that it was bad manners to do that, my sincerest apologies” My words with so thick with sarcasm that they could have engraved their way onto solid steel.

He ‘harumphed’ at my parched attitude towards himself, “Well if you’re going to be like that, then I might just change my mind about owing you a solid for delivering my letter to Fluttershy”

I crossed my arms and cocked a brow at the madman, “A favor from the infamous Lord of Chaos? Pardon me if I withhold my enthusiasm at the prospect of a favor that could just as easily bite me in the ass than act as a boon”

“While I admit that the idea of twisting one’s own words against them is still as tempting as ever, I’m reformed remember?” He leaned back into his lounge chair and sipped at his margarita (which I noticed had a chili pepper instead of a lime wedge for flavoring), “Besides, Arcania has enough lawyers that do that sort of conniving… while the only thing poor Discord has to show is intimately knowing the ins, outs, and inside outs of an increasingly convoluted bureaucracy”

He smirked and added with a toasting motion, “Just the way I like it”

“Is this favor a standing offer? Cause it’s something I’ll only call upon if and when I need it”

He dismissively waved a hand that was desperately in need of a nail trimming, “Sure, sure. I Discord, hereby solemnly swear that I owe you a favor on a date and time of your choosing. If it lay within my power to grant, then it will be so. If I may humbly suggest, make it something exciting! Like turning all the birds into flying pears or declaring opposite day a national holiday… or maybe wishing that Celestia had an interesting personality!” He spouted, placing particular emphasis on the last point.

“I’m too utilitarian to ask for anything so mundane of someone who isn’t even a djinn. Besides…I think Celestia is plenty interesting! Perhaps if you didn’t grate on her nerves so much, she’d let you see her less strict side”

He scratched his chin in thought while also running a tongue down his snaggletooth, “Another side to Celestia you say? Is it one hundred percent nag free?”

“Yup, she definitively knows how to deal with troublemakers with minimal speaking on her part. I remember the time she made a greedy corporate scumbag who was trying to lower taxes on his company for all the wrong reasons break down by simply staring disapprovingly at him until he promised to never bother her again and hastily excused himself” The memory made me chuckle, some of the Princess’ subjects feared her authority so much that they nearly wet themselves under her intense gaze. It worked just fine for Louis the Sun King, so why not her?

“She’s also got an interesting sense of humor too, probably the only Princess I know of who enjoys pranks just as much as you. Only hers are not as mind numbingly obvious in their design and are completely without ill intent” Anyone who lives that long has to find subtle ways to entertain themselves I imagine.

“Hmm…color me intrigued” He immediately turned polka dotted, “While I’ve enjoyed our little talk, I have a very important rendezvous to spiffy up for. Before I leave, a last word of advice? Don’t go chasing the white rabbit!” With his last piece spoken, the calendar flew back to its original spot in the fridge, leaving a somewhat nonplussed Zenith standing confused next a tiny set of drawers containing the tea ingredients I was looking for.

After I finally savored myself a nice cup of tea with mint leaf extract, Fluttershy had finished doing whatever it was women took their time with before heading out into the world and stopped in the kitchen to bid me farewell. I didn’t notice anything that had changed about her physically, but she felt different somehow, like there was a hidden twinge of nervousness in her aura.

“Well…it’s almost time for me to go. I’m sure you’ll do a wonderful job as a stand in for me”

“I’ll do my best. Any estimate on how long you’ll be gone?” I asked her, placing my now empty mug in a strangely natural looking washbasin built into a hollowed out tree stump.

“Probably until tomorrow morning, that’s how these trips usually go” She scraped a foot along the floor in that bashful manner that I found beguiling of her.

“In that case, I hope you have a great time. Tell Discord that I’ll be thinking real hard about that solid he owes me”

She gaped at me, “H-how did you know I was going out to see Discord?”

I shrugged in nonchalance, “Simple deduction really, it’s an established fact that you and he exchange letters to keep in contact, but true friends actually spend time with each other every now and again”

I grinned to myself and vaingloriously added, “Plus you just confirmed it for me”

She gave me a sidelong glance, “That’s rather…perceptive of you Zenith, I’ll be sure to relay your message to him the first moment I see him”

I wanted to ask what it was that she and Discord did together, but figured that it was none of my business. I walked with her to the front door and waved her goodbye before getting down to business around the cottage. Even with how clean it appeared, it was in dire need of some organization; sacks of birdfeed and animal pellets lay scattered throughout the house, the open door cages had loose feathers and…used newspaper flooring that needed to be collected and tossed into the rubbish bin, and there was also the small matter of a smug looking Angel bunny with a small mob of dissenters behind him looking to cause trouble.

“Really…? Fluttershy isn’t even gone for five minutes and you’ve already organized a small rebellion against me?” I would have found the notion adorable had it not been so disrespectful to ‘mah authoritay’.

Angel nodded, keeping that cocksure grin on his features before squeaking out what sounded like a battle cry and the group rushed towards me Braveheart style. I’m not really sure what they would have accomplished had they even reached me, but a quick stun wave spell put an end to their little uprising. I crouched down to the frozen looking Angel who tried his best to glare balefully at me despite the inability to move what counted as his eyebrows.

“Alright you fluffy little rabble rouser, I’m a patient man, but I can tell that patience won’t be enough for you. Since I’m typically opposed to keeping someone captive in their own home, I’m going to let you off with a slap on the wrist and a warning. Don’t try to subvert me when I’m doing something nice for your mum and every creature she cares for” I tapped a finger on his paw and simultaneous removed the paralysis spell I cast on him. As he got to his feet, I could tell that the first thing he wanted to do was give me a kick. To the shock of his still frozen supporters (and likely himself), he hugged my shin instead of whacking it.

I may have been forgiving, but I was far from foolish. When I tapped him on the paw and removed his paralysis, I had concurrently cast a reverse intention charm on him. Instead of doing whatever it was he wanted to do to me, the spell forced his body to do whatever was closest to the opposite, in my deviousness I also made it so that the only way to break that charm was to legitimately want to befriend me. Celestia may have imparted some questionable reading material to Twilight, but I’ll be a deep fried turkey if they didn’t contain some useful spells within their texts (and that isn’t Applejack’s speech mannerisms rubbing off on me either).

“Glad we finally have an understanding” I dryly remarked to the touchy bunny, then directed my attention towards the rest, “Same goes for the rest of you. If you like being fed, then you shouldn’t bite the hand that’s going to feed you. I mean this quite literally, are we clear?” I partially removed the paralysis effect on their noggins, it wasn’t very effective for tubular creatures like the snake, but the honey badger next to it seemed apologetic, based on how zealously it was nodding its head at the moment.

Knowing that the situation was mostly diffused, I dropped the magic and let them all go. A few of Angel’s staunchest supporters were muttering to themselves, probably uttering a few choice curses in whatever natural speech each animal used. Angel was busy hugging up a storm next to my leg; I was partly concerned that if he got really frustrated he’d start dry humping me too. So I promptly excused myself from the living room and went about playing housekeeper. The feeding schedule for the diurnal creatures started at nine o’ clock sharp, so I had an hour or so making sure that Fluttershy’s cottage was in tip top shape. Once everything was cleaned and sorted into the appropriate cubbies and cabinets, I switched roles from a cleaning maid to a scullery maid, grabbing all the bags of birdseed, vegetarian pellets and even some preserved cuts of dehydrated meat for the more carnivorous critters from appropriately labels storage containers in the shed.

‘She didn’t tell me to stay outta her shed now did she?’

I returned to the garden and repeated the shrill assembly whistling that Fluttershy had first used. It worked like a charm (the non magical kind) and pretty soon I was surrounded by droves of hungry looking eyes. Fluttershy had informed me that it was very important to have each group of creatures feast separately. This was to discourage any possible conflicts between opposing groups, it made plenty of sense, you wouldn’t want to mix the carnivores and herbivores together or else you might end up with less herbivores than when you started. These creatures may have been smart, but they were still subject to following their natural instincts. Luckily there were two long feeding troughs positioned low to the ground along the fencing that had several partitions for separating food and water. I filled each with the corresponding aliments and used an old fashioned well pump to fill metal buckets with water to add to the troughs. Curiously enough, the massive congregation of creatures did not immediately dig in the moment I finished my job.

I crooked my head sideways and stared at them funny, “Well what are you waiting for…permission? Soup’s on everybody!” I clapped my hands together in case they didn’t get the picture.

And with that they all converged on the troughs, their manners may have been refined, but their eating habits weren’t so elegant. The trough for herbivores had pieces of grains spilling over the sides and the one for the carnivores had bits of dried meat flying left and right in tiny little shreds, a small part of my mind likened them to a pack of Velociraptors tearing away at the carcass of a cow. That line of thinking made me remember that my laptop had a complete library of flicks like Jurassic Park that I hadn’t seen in forever, perhaps when I found myself with some free time I would browse my selection again. Once the feeding frenzy was over, the happily stuffed animals went their separate ways and dispersed throughout the garden.

Which is why I was puzzled when Garrett decided to draw close to me and make a series of snorting sounds, followed by harshly nudging into my side with his snout.

“Lemme guess, you want me to give you the same deep tissue massage that my predecessor gives you?” An affirmative nod, followed by a short string of aggressive growls.

That had me worried, “And you want it so it’s like a mock fight? But you won’t go easy on me the same way you do with Fluttershy? And you justify it by saying it’s to prove my worth?” Another nod of confirmation.

I arched a brow, if I wasn’t as capable as I was, I’d have politely declined. As it was though… “I accept your challenge, lets take this someplace where there is minimal risk of collateral damage”

I walked a good fifty meters past the wooden fencing of Fluttershy’s yard into the clear open field that hugged the edges of the Neverfree with Garrett hot on my tail. While we were walking, I magically blunted my fists and feet, I’ve learned from my sessions with my shadow sparring puppets that the physical strength of a Trifect is more than enough to gib someone if they don’t ‘pull their punches’ so to speak. I wouldn’t want to turn Garrett into bloody chunks, it would reflect poorly on me to Flutters after all… and I suppose that Garrett wouldn’t appreciate it either.

‘Look at me, I’m granting a fully grown Grizzly bear a handicap! What about my clemency huh?’ I sighed exasperatedly. It’s not easy being an honorable Trifect sometimes.

Once I figured we were far enough, I spun in place to face my fuzzy adversary. Garrett had mirrored my rigid posture and stood on his hind legs. I may have grown a good deal taller in recent times, but Garrett’s eight foot frame still dwarfed me by a significant margin. The Grizzly vocalized an intimidating roar that caused the very air itself to vibrate; and also gave me a good whiff of his awful fish breath. Not one to be so easily outdone, I dug into my magic and amplified my voice, imitating the first thing that came to mind; namely, the Hollywood roar of the Tyrannosaurus. The effect was like the overwhelming force shout of the Dovahkiin, completely knocking back the Grizzly and momentarily incapacitating him. I wouldn’t allow him to get back up, wanting to save myself the trouble of having to avoid any claw filled swipes, so I rushed the dazed creature and began working him over. I wasn’t educated on the location of muscle groups and where they were clustered on a member of the Ursus genus, but I figured that my fists of fury approach offered full coverage.

The beast’s initial roars of pain gradually subsided as I effectively loosened all of the taut and knotted muscles in his shoulders and backside, melting into a pile of satisfied groans and grunts while I karate chopped his discomfort into oblivion. I was glad that my only audience was a gaggle of stupefied rabbits and a bug eyed billy goat; if somebody like Rainbow Dash caught me doing this then I doubt I’d ever hear the end of it.

I ceased my well-intentioned assault on the thick skinned Grizzly and knelt down by his muzzle, “Good enough for ya?” He weakly nodded, enjoying the euphoria that accompanies every good massage.

I shook my head and walked back in the direction of the cottage, my life was just weird at times.

⁂

The rest of that day passed uneventfully, any animals that still felt resentful of me were rendered pacified after my display of might involving Garrett; who was now a lot chummier around me. It was also endlessly amusing to see Angel try to think up ways to bypass my reverse intention charm, only to have it blow up in his face (e.g, attempting to offer me a carrot laced with laxatives, only to eat it himself and spend the next half hour in the little bunny’s room). I carried out my remaining duties by collecting all the eggs that Elizabeak and her fellow hens laid while also setting up the troughs for the nocturnal animals, which a little bird told me arrived in the evening hours (I still don’t know how I can interpret animal speech, I think its some kind of innate empathic sense). Keeping Fluttershy’s cottage in working order was a lot more rewarding than working at Sweet Apple Acres, at least the animals here had the good grace of thanking me in their own way (nuzzles, cuddly embraces, even a tribute of nuts from some very happy squirrels)

‘Unlike those ungrateful cows’ I groused to myself, farm work sucks big time.

Night rolled around and all of the diurnal creatures lodging in the cottage were preparing to get some shuteye, myself included. I claimed Angel’s favorite spot on the couch and reclined, kicking my feet up and putting my hands behind my head like I was Phil Collins and just didn’t care anymoe’. I idly wondered what it was that Fluttershy and Discord did during their times spent together. In spite of the intense suppression of my emotions, I still felt a pang of jealousy stab into my heart. What if their get togethers were actually dates in disguise?

The thought of possibly losing such an amazing woman to the likes of Discord was a vastly unsettling thought. I like to delude myself into thinking that I do a decent job of hiding it, but I kind of had a thing for the delicate woman. I honestly couldn’t help the way I felt, Fluttershy represented a great many things that I found lacking in my existence: the way she could see the good in others while no one else did, her genuine modesty and love of all life, and especially that profound kindness that she embodied almost to a fault. That night when I had been purged of the Nightmare remnant’s influence and she consoled me only reinforced my adoration of the element of kindness, and that of laughter’s as well. I’d never openly admit it, but Celestia was right about one thing… I needed the companionship of these people if I truly wanted the quality of my life to improve. The hard part was getting my stubborn mind and body to acknowledge what my heart was telling me.

I was so absorbed in my musings that I nearly failed to notice a very unhappy looking Angel scamper across the wooden floor and out the back doggie door in a hurry. Where was that rancorous rabbit going?

I grumpily muttered to myself, “I know Discord warned me about this, but I should really make sure the little guy doesn’t inadvertently put himself in harm’s way”

I brushed the ferret from earlier off of my lap and set off in search of Fluttershy’s beloved pet. Tracking him was made a good deal easier by my inherent ability to home in my own reverse intent charm, which was still in effect. Judging by how far off the energy signature was, I’d say the little bunny was getting himself way in over his head inside the thickets of the Neverfree. I recalled the nasty encounters I had with the wildlife housed within and made certain that my only means of defense were still strapped to my side.

My current armament was my ever present Tantō and the aged sack containing the venerable shards of Dichotomy. As much as I wanted an excuse to use the hidden blades, I figured that they were best for close quarters vital spot exploitation, something that I very much wanted to avoid. My usual wear didn’t offer much in the way of protection, so agility and speed would have to serve as my armor instead. My strides began to widen as my walk became a jog, turning into a full blown sprint as a sinking feeling started to settle in my gut. I intuitively knew that I wouldn’t be able to retrieve Angel and leave this forest unopposed. After about five minutes of running, I had reached an open clearing consisting of weeds and brush that grew high enough to reach my stomach. I spotted Angel in an opening moping about with his back against a large boulder with a carrot in his paws; this was presumably some special spot where he stored his comfort foods.

“There you are!” I got within speaking proximity of the troublesome pet, “You shouldn’t run off into the Neverfree like that Angel, Fluttershy would have been heartbroken if you were turned into some wayward predator’s dinner” I chided the bunny, who felt content to ignore me for the time being. Once he finished the last of his carrot, he tossed it to the side and muttered in a mopey tone.

I rubbed tiredly at my temples, “Why is it so difficult for us to simply get along? I’m only doing your caretaker a modest service by watching over all of you while she’s away, there’s no reason to foster any discontent towards me”

He squeaked angrily and pointed an accusing paw at me, “You think I’m only doing this to impress your mom?” I scratched the back of my head, “You’re correct… but only partially. I did this because there was no one else available at the time to take Rarity’s place; I’m also duty bound to assist those in need of it, so naturally I volunteered” I explained to the skeptical rabbit, who retorted in a sarcastic fashion.

“Well no…I do think your mom is a marvelous woman and I’d very much like to acquaint more of myself with her in the future, but I have no intentions of ‘stealing her away from you’ if that’s what you meant” I reassured him with a good natured chortle.

I knelt down and offered my hand, “So how about it? Friends? I’ll even toss in some of those cherries you’re so fond of!” I amicably offered.

Angel looked deep in thought, placing a paw on his chin as he internally debated whether or not to take me at my words. He eventually shrugged to himself and shook appendages with me, I could tell that he meant it too because my charm wore off almost instantly. A celebration over this small victory would have to wait though, because a succession of harsh sounding growls filled the air as what were unmistakably wolves made out of wood materialized from the thick brushwork and surrounded us. There were at least a half dozen of them and they looked like they were rearing for a fight. I promptly got to my feet and assumed a protective stance over Fluttershy’s beloved pet.

‘Bastards must have snuck up on us’ I internally berated myself for not casting a proximity alert spell on myself earlier.

“Angel” I spoke with a steady calm, “The moment I give the word, I want you to return home as quickly as you can. Stomp your foot if you heard me”

A light thump, followed by some worried squeaking, “I’m a more tempting target so they’ll focus on me instead of you, don’t you worry about me” I moved my hand to the handle of my Tantō and slowly pulled it out.

The distinctive sound of metal being unsheathed made the growls of the Timberwolves intensify and they bared their splintery teeth at me. I also loosened the strings keeping the shards of Dichotomy dangling at my side, I hoped the situation wouldn’t get bad enough to warrant its usage, but I reckoned that it was better being safe than dead. It turns out that I didn’t even have to give any sort of signal; the hostile tension in the air was enough for Angel to beat a hasty retreat in the direction of the cottage, the timberwolf closest to him snapped and narrowly missed catching him by the tail before returning its attention on me. Their sickly green eyes glowed menacingly in the low light of the forest.

I held out my blade in what I hoped was a gesture of warning, “If I were you, I’d back off…lest I become a tinder wolf” I channeled magic into my weapon and watched as flames flickered and danced along its spine.

If this intimidated them, they didn’t show it, slowly advancing on me in a pincer movement. Looks like I’d have to fight my way outta this mess. Despite the great danger of the situation, I couldn’t help but feel a little giddy knowing that this scuffle would take place in an extremely flammable weed field.

‘And I know the perfect song to burn things to’ I summoned the sound sphere; sending it high into the air and having it produce a certain Skrillex track from the third Far Cry.

The instant the music started playing, the timberwolf closest to me broke formation and pounced on me. I backpedaled on reflex and the body of the ligneous beast tumbled on top of me, all the while trying to savagely tear my throat out but having some difficulty with the way I was propping it up and away from myself with my left elbow. It clawed at whatever part of me it could reach, scratching me and tearing up my shirt, but failing to draw any blood. The damn thing’s wretched breath stank of rotting bark and made me want to gag. I swiftly sank my burning blade into the gap that constituted its neck and separated its head from its shoulders, the corpse catching alight as I had promised earlier. I heaved its smoldering carcass off my chest and rolled to the side to avoid a downward slash from its comrade. I reached into the sack at my side with my magic and withdrew Dichotomy, assembling it together before splitting the overall blade into two halves and igniting them for good measure. I was done playing around.

The timberwolves began to realize that they were not dealing with an easy prey and began baying in unison. I was hoping they would get the picture and leave me the hell alone, but a louder and much more authoritative howl in the distance answered them and put an end to my wishful thinking. The rest of them began to charge me at once, I didn’t have much in the way of practice with my Mageblade, and this was a trial by fire if there ever was one. I positioned my twin blades parallel to the ground and wind milled them in a rapid clockwise rotation. This felled three of the wolves that were bold or stupid enough to attempt lunging at me, dicing them up and setting what was left on fire. The other two skid to a halt and kept their distance, analyzing my impromptu tactic for any weaknesses. My makeshift lawnmower of the inferno was a formidable defense, I also kept it level with my solar plexus so I could intercept any endeavors to skirt underneath my wood chipper of doom.

If they ever found a chink in my armor, I never gave them the chance to take advantage of it. I used the built up momentum of the spinning blades and hurled the shards at the wolves like a Flechette launcher, only the darts were also on fire. And just like a shotgun round, the speedy projectiles tore into my remaining opponents and rent them limb from sappy limb. I recalled the pieces back to me in anticipation of whatever reinforcements the cowardly wolves cried home to. Whatever was stomping its way through the forest was definitely a big one; the ground shook with every step coming closer in a Doppler effect like crescendo. I didn’t have to wait long as two sizable trees were ripped from their roots as the father of all Timberwolves emerged from the woodwork, standing several feet high and wearing a crown of pinecones on its head. It stopped briefly to survey the field, which by now was burning in more than a few places. Its massive eyes observed its fallen brethren before settling on me, the gears in its head turned as it connected the dots accordingly. It let out a thunderous roar of rage and began bounding towards me in large strides, murderous intent written into each movement.

‘Time to go Kratos on this insipid visual pun’ I began charging towards the vengeful alpha in what seemed like reckless abandon.

It tilted its head to the side and opened its gaping jaws; ready to snatch me up the instant we converged. It’s monstrous mouth snapped shut with a resounding crunching noise of wood on wood, but instead of killing me as it thought it would, it only managed to disperse the illusion spell I cast just before cloaking myself. I reappeared underneath the unwary beast and introduced Dichotomy to its vulnerable underbelly, dragging the sword down its ventral surface and spilling its guts as I went. The alpha timberwolf let out a shriek of anguished surprise and collapsed as dark colored sap spewed from its abdomen like lifeblood, I took advantage of its weakness to test out that theory that I developed last week. I proceeded to fracture my blade once more and supercharged it with energy before sending each individual piece sailing into the dying creature, who whimpered pathetically with every shard that deeply imbedded themselves into its wooden frame.

I walked around to the front of the craven heap of logs and branches and wrenched out its crown with my magic, casually tossing it into a nearby flame.

“…The bigger they are…” I callously murmured to myself, “Any last words?” I asked of my soon to be toasted adversary.

The animated construct glared hatefully at me with its last ounces of strength, “No? Well I have one for you…” I mimicked triggering a detonator, the shards of Dichotomy punctually went critical and the magic stored within was released with explosive results, showering the immediate area with a foul rain of mulch and charred twigs. I erected a barrier spell around myself so I could enjoy the show from up close and avoid suffering the dreaded splinters.

“…Boom” I used the lull to inspect the aftermath. Unsurprisingly, the rest of the field was beginning to ignite from the spreading fires. Somewhere out there, the toasty guy was having paroxysms.

I cast similar barrier spells over the patches of fire to deprive them of air and snuff them out, I didn’t want this whole place to burn down after all. I recollected the shards of Dichotomy and to my intrigue; they didn’t even give off any heat from all the thermo inducive spells I had been using them with. I shrugged indifferently and put them away, I’d say that they performed more than adequate in dispatching my enemies with haste. Although I did have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind telling me that I shouldn’t take to the act of killing in such a cold manner, but I felt inclined to feel absolutely nothing towards anything that tries to end me.

‘Timberwolves are just magical constructs anyway’

‘That’s besides the point, what if we have to do this again with living creatures or heaven forbid…actual people?’ My compassionate side reasoned, urging me to find other solutions. I would have none of it.

‘Then may the good lord have mercy on them, because I won’t’ I replied without emotion, memories of the time I first killed briefly flashing in my mind before being banished to whence they came.

I walked the rest of the way back to Fluttershy’s in silence. I had a good hunch that I would be left alone for the remainder of the night so I even took the time to pluck a pretty looking exotic flower I spotted on the way back (not poison joke, I knew better than that). When I finally reached the door to the cottage, it swung open and a white rabbit dressed in medieval getup and riding atop a drowsy but resolute looking grizzly bear marched outside.

“A rescue party for me? You shouldn’t have” I joked in a lighthearted tone, doing a complete one eighty from my dour attitude in the Neverfree.

Seeing that I was still alive and very much in one piece, a relieved Angel hopped off of Garrett and embraced my right pant leg. The corner of my lips curled upward at the unexpected affection.

“Fluttershy was right about you Angel, you do have a sweet side” At that, he glanced upwards in annoyance and stuck his tongue out at me; he kept his grip on me regardless.

I turned my attention to Garrett, who looked mildly amused at the reunion, “Sorry you were woken up for a false start buddy” He performed the equivalent of an ‘its cool’ shrug and curled back up by the fireplace before drifting off to sleep.

“C’mon Angel, let’s get you those cherries as promised” Before I took another step, I felt a tug on my jeans I glanced down to see him shaking his head and uttering something in Angelese.

“You’ll actually hold off on them until Fluttershy gets back? That’s rather…mature of you Angel” I expressed with faint shock, this creature wasn’t as self-centered as I was originally led to believe.

Once Angel had excused himself to his quarters and I put the short-stemmed flower I had pulled into a water vase, I had one last thing on my agenda before I got some sleep myself. I ascended the stairs and found the bathroom. Once inside I examined myself for any injuries using the mirror, other than some tufts of slightly abraded skin, I was mostly unharmed. I shed my damaged shirt and the rest of my clothes before taking a nice hot bath.

If I thought Crystal Clear’s hygiene products were feminine, then Fluttershy’s were doubly so. I exited the bathroom smelling heavily of roses and various berries, it may have worked beautifully for the demure woman, but I could feel my masculinity taking a hit with every second I endured this indignity. With a towel wrapped around my waist, I retrieved some replacement clothes from my backpack downstairs and donned them. With all of that taken care of, I plopped down on the empty couch with mechanical like precision in order to retire. From there I fell into a dreamless sleep, the events of the day being put to the side for now.

⁂

The sound of numerous birds happily chirping roused me from my restful slumber, although the persistent crick in my back reminded me why being sent to the couch was considered a punishment. I groaned at the incessant light trying to force its way into my eyeballs and grumbled something unintelligible about Celestia conspiring to ruin all of my plans for sleeping in. Don’t get me wrong, I could be an early riser when I felt like it, but a whole week of doing that and working my ass off at Sweet Apple Acres entitled me to be lazy damn it! I grabbed my couch pillow and pulled it over my face, before rotating away from the garish light of day. I wasn’t even able to get five minutes worth of shut eye before I felt Garrett’s furry snout prodding my spine and a reproachful snort cover my back with bear snot.

“Really? Freaking really!?” I got up and glared at the creature that dared disturb me, ignoring the fact that barely a month ago he would have been fully capable of tearing me a new one completely unhindered by me.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, “What is it Garrett?” He responded robotically, as if reciting that someone was at the do…

A knock echoed throughout the cottage.

‘Who in the world could that be? It couldn’t be Fluttershy since she wouldn’t have to knock on her own front door’ My curiosity was stoked enough that I got my slothful ass off of the couch and answered it.

On the other side was a blond woman wearing a greyish uniform with short sleeves and the insignia ‘Magiville Postal Service’ embroidered with fancy thread onto her right breast pocket. She also had a cheerful face with only one of her eyes focused on me, while the other thought that the floor was more interesting.

“Are you Mr. Zenith?” I nodded wordlessly, continuing my visual examination of her features, “I brought you a letter!” She announced with joyful pride, reaching into her satchel and handing me said letter. The width was unusually fat for the envelope; the contents inside must have been lengthy.

“Thank you miss…?” I was getting good at this obfuscating ignorance act.

She saluted me, “Ditzy Derpina Doo at your service! I’m the local mailwoman for the Magiville mailing office, most efficient employee they got!”

“Well I commend you on successfully locating me, how’d you accomplish that if you don’t mind me asking?”

She waved a dismissive hand, “That was easy, miss Rarity saw fit to notify me that you’d be substituting for her at Fluttershy’s when I delivered her mail yesterday. That was real considerate of you to do by the way”

“Just doing my part, and thank you for being such a dedicated and hard working woman on your part” I graciously replied.

“Oh, you’re just saying that” She tried brushing off the praise.

“No really!” I insisted, “I’m not sure if you get this from a lot of people, but I wanted you to know that you should keep on being a total Rock Star, I’ve seen you around town flitting all over the place and making sure that everyone receives the information they need on time. Communication is important in any society and the more punctual it is, the better, and you have been nothing short of amazing in that department from what I’ve seen” I complimented with a fulsome grin, eliciting a slight reddening of the cheeks from the diffident woman.

“You really think so? No one really gives me an actual review on my competence levels; they just tell me that I’m performing adequately. Or they make some snide comment about my disability keeping me back” She began absentmindedly stroking at her Mana mark, which depicted a column of bubbles.

“Don’t let them get you down Ditzy, and never let anyone tell you that you’re not good enough to do something…not even if that person is your own self, got it?”

“Wow mister, I’ve barely known you for two minutes and already you’ve got me feeling like I can take on the world!” She smiled at me, which reached both of her eyes (even if one of them was watching the sky).

“I’m just repeating what countless others would have said back where I come from”

“Well, if they’re anything like you, then your hometown must have been a swell place” She gasped as she glanced at her wristwatch, “I gotta go, been nice speaking with ya’ mister Zenith!”

I chuckled, “Just Zenith is fine, don’t let me keep you from your job” The woman summoned her wings, which matched the color of her uniform and took to the sky, bound for Magiville.

I thought a bit about her second to last words, she wasn’t wrong of course, but the way she said it made me think about home. I may have come to terms with my uncertain future here, but I still wasn’t ready to let go of my desire to seek a way back. No matter how well I appeared to fit into this society and culture, nothing could change the fact that I was a foreigner at heart, tainting this wonderful world with my bitter cynicism. I might have been a bit harsh on myself, but I just couldn’t see this world of love and friendship changing who I fundamentally was on the inside. I set aside my philosophical grievances and ran upstairs to complete my morning routine. After a full week of straight up gargling Apple flavored mouthwash, Honey flavored tasted like the nectar of the Gods…or more accurately the nectar of flowers collected by bees and turned into the aforementioned flavoring.

‘I have a strange tendency for deconstructing my own analogies sometimes’ I mused as I swished the liquid back and forth between my teeth.

Once I felt like I wouldn’t wilt flowers with my morning breath, I returned downstairs to open my letter and get a peek at the contents inside. The envelope itself had a waxy seal on the flap that was stamped with some official looking symbol for ‘Cloud Homes Incorporated’. I popped the stamp and pulled out the lengthy looking letter inside, only it consisted of a small dictation addressed to me and a whole bunch of advertisement material promoting custom additions one could make to their cloud house. The ads were essentially the equivalent of paying extra money for bells and whistles that I’d probably use once and then forget about, the temperature regulated Jacuzzi was a tempting option though.

I expeditiously read through the note written to me, finding out that the CEO of the company himself wrote it, telling me that I was put on an express VIP list and that I could proceed to take delivery of my new home at my earliest convenience. The only catch was that I’d have to come in person to their headquarters based in Stratopolis and advise on where I wanted it delivered and what designs I had in mind for its overall shape. I figured that I should probably leave first thing once Fluttershy returns from whatever craziness she’d put up with involving Discord. Speaking of which, I had to attend to cleaning up the mess the nocturnal animals had made of their food trough as well as write some correspondence to Crystal using the bottled Dragon fire the Princess so graciously provided me with. I was very grateful that the creatures in the cottage were house trained, I would have blown a gasket if I had to clean up after their droppings as well.

A short but tedious amount of time later, I had finished morning chores and had brewed myself another steaming cup of soothing herbal tea. The animals roaming about here and there felt content enough to leave me in peace on the couch, but boredom began clawing at me soon enough until I finally snapped and grabbed the coverings holding my guitar and unlashed them before pulling out my instrument and memento of Octavia. I didn’t want to cause a racket in the house so I tried thinking of some more subdued songs, anything to keep my mind occupied.

The various open door birdcages hanging from the ceiling gave me an idea of where to start, my fingers began plucking the opening notes to a little song called Blackbird. I didn’t feel like singing the lyrics to this one, instead just permeating the air with gentle sounding acoustics before seamlessly transitioning into the first song that I ever taught myself to play, which was Yesterday. Before long, I had gathered a sizable audience of inquisitive critters wanting to see what all the hubbub was about. I paid them little mind, this was a precious opportunity for me to de-stress and unwind and I was going to make the most of it come hell or high water. I lacked the vocal uniqueness that Sir Paul McCartney’s voice lent to this song, but I like to think that I added my own distinct flair to it by just being myself. I thoughtfully hummed the last notes as the song came to a tentative close.

“That was…simply enchanting Zenith, even if it was a little melancholic” A familiar soft spoken voice extoled from next to me, I had been so absorbed in the music that I didn’t even notice Fluttershy enter her home and sit next to me.

I glanced around, seeing multiple glassy eyes as the animals who were listening struggled to keep their composure, “Sorry, I didn’t even know I had such a captive crowd, would have played something happier if I did”

“Don’t apologize Zenith, music like that comes from the heart. Expressing ourselves like that is perfectly natural and something you should never feel ashamed of”

“I wouldn’t go so far as to say that it came from my heart, but that’s a lovely axiom to abide by none the less” I couldn’t bring myself to look her in the eyes for some reason.

I felt her put a hand on my shoulder, “Zenith…look at me” I obeyed, staring into her breathtaking light blue irises, “I know that you’re hiding great hurt inside. Remember what I told you the night we used the elements on you?”

I nodded, “You told me that if I ever needed someone, you’d always be there” She hummed in the affirmative.

“I’ve seen how you interact with the people in your life, you’re always trying your best to establish cordial relations with them. But at the same time, you don’t seem to really trust anyone with who you actually are behind the mask you put on, and I know a few things about hiding behind a mask of sorts” She said as she looked to the side, her long hair flowing over and covering her eyes in emphasis.

She paused and nervously bit her lip, unsure about what she was about to say, “Is Zenith even really your actual name?”

“What makes you think otherwise?” I said, marveling at how quickly my identity had been unraveled by the unassuming animal caretaker.

“Whenever I call out to one of my animal friends or even my true friends, they always acknowledge it with singular purpose, as if the acknowledgment of their name is a trigger for their meaning in life. Whenever someone calls out your name… you’re really only half there for the response” She commented on her observations.

“I forgot how insightful you are” I remarked, stifling a disappointed sigh, “It’s not my birth name, Zenith is just a moniker I use to avoid attracting any unwanted attention” And also because real names have power, exponentially so in a world filled with magic, but she didn’t need to know that.

“I won’t question your reasons for doing so, but if it’s not too much to ask…could you tell me your real name? I Pinkie promise I’ll keep it between us”

I raised a hand and interrupted her before she could do the motions, “A regular promise will do Fluttershy. Besides if we bring Pinkie into this, how will it still be between us?” We both chuckled and I felt the atmosphere cheer up a little.

I leaned towards the dainty woman (the close contact causing her to heat up slightly) and cupped a hand around her ear before whispering to her something I haven’t even shared with the Solar and Lunar diarchs.

She beamed benevolently, “That’s a nice name, I’ve never heard of anything remotely similar to it aside from those of the Gryphondrian people” She bowed her head to me, “Thank you for sharing this with me, and taking care of my animal friends while I was away”

“Just reciprocating the kindness you’ve shown me” I smiled (the closest I had to one) back to her.

“So how was your time with Discord?” I inquired, legitimately curious as to what constituted an outing with the nigh insufferable bureaucrat.

Her turn to sigh, “It was…interesting, to say the least. I got a little dizzy with the inverted gravity and chocolate milk rain though”

‘Pobrecita’ I thought sympathetically.

“You two talk about much?”

“He did mostly, while I listened. He doesn’t exactly hold our political or governmental system in high regard. He usually rants about how its one of the few cosmic jokes that even he couldn’t find any humor in”

She ran a hand through her plush hair and twisted the ends with a finger, “I know I’m probably the only friend he has, but I really wish he could make nice with everyone else. It’s taxing enough to put up with him for an whole hour, let alone an entire day” She confessed, sounding abashed to her own understandable peevishness towards the detestable man.

“If I could, I would gladly relieve you of that burden. But the man and I don’t really ‘mesh’ together well, if you catch my meaning” I interlocked my fingers to support the metaphor.

“You never did tell me how you both knew each other” She said, perplexed by my association with the chaotic cretin.

“We don’t…not really, he just asked me to deliver his mail to you. Other than that, he’s a little too obnoxious for my taste” Which is yet another reason I can respect Fluttershy for putting up with him as a good friend.

I got up from my seat and curtly excused myself before making a break for the kitchen where I stored the flower that I had kept as a gift for Fluttershy. Returning to the living room where the woman was currently petting her beloved pet Angel.

“May I?” I asked, gesticulating to my hair what I intended to do.

She seemed confused at first but nodded her assent; I stooped down to insert the stem of the pink plumeria in the nook between her right ear and examined the result. She looked positively stunning (even more so) with the flower in her hair, it’s a shame the violent lengths I had to go through in order to obtain it.

“It’s such a pretty looking flower Zenith, where did you find it?” She asked, looking into a pocket mirror that she must have kept with her.

“On a tree that was growing in the Neverfree” I answered truthfully (and in rhyme), I had no idea how such a tree did exist in that forest, but I’ve learned not to question too many things lately.

She gasped almost inaudibly, “Why would you feel the need to go inside such a dangerous forest!? There are so many things out there that could hurt you!” She exclaimed worriedly.

I chuckled somewhat darkly, “Not if they know what’s good for them they won’t. And I merely felt compelled to take a nature walk last night” I fibbed, glimpsing at Angel and soundlessly notifying him that his slip up was to be our little secret. He nodded thankfully and kept quiet while nuzzling his mum. Fluttershy didn’t look like she approved of my dangerous habits, but kept her misgivings about it to herself. I decided to change the topic to something more pressing.

“May I ask a service of you?”

“Of course you can Zenith” She courteously replied.

“Would you mind terribly if I were to leave my things here for a little while? I have business in Stratopolis that requires my direct presence” I explained to her.

“About your cloud home?” She astutely inferred.

“Correct, your memory is unerring as always” There she goes hiding behind her hair again.

“I would gladly watch your belongings for you while you’re away, just like you’ve watched over my wonderful animal friends for me” The animals that were still in the room nodded and voiced their agreement.

“Like I’ve implied, I did it readily and it was my pleasure in doing so” I bowed in a dramatic fashion, “I’ll be off then, see ya around Fluttershy!” I spoke over my shoulder as I exited out the front door.

Now came the small matter of traveling to Stratopolis, it wasn’t too hard to miss since it lay just off the mountain where Concordia was perched and just above the cloud layers. But I also couldn’t just take off now for fear of another Valkyrian who saw me at the party finding out that I was a Trifect and blabbing about it to all of their friends. I snorted derisively to myself, how could such a simple action such as surprising the people who attended a surprise party for me put one of my feet in a figurative bucket? I needed to find someone who could tell me the best spots for flying unnoticed, I needed…

“Hit the deck!” An incoming and not so far off raspy voice screamed at me.

‘Rainbow Dash! Perfect timing!’ I grinned.

Instead of doing as she said, I whirled around to see the rainbow haired girl zooming towards me in a nosedive like a speeding bullet. I cast an inertial dampening spell into my body and prepared to catch her, I had to adjust my stance to take her roughly fifty-degree angle of descent into account. It worked brilliantly, instead of plowing into me where we would arguably end up in an unflattering position of one straddling the other. I acted like a baseball glove and prevented another notch on Dash’s crash landing record.

“Howdy Rainbow” I said to the woman who I was currently cradling in my arms, she stuttered something and pushed off of me. A reddish tinge highlighting her cheeks, Rainbow wasn’t tactilely bashful was she?

She recomposed herself soon enough, “Howdy? AJ hasn’t been rubbing off on you has she?” She quipped as she dusted herself, unaware of how I interpreted her question. We shared a shower stall together for cripes sake!

‘Damn it! Why do I have to have such a sexy imagination?’

“Applejack isn’t the only one entitled to use lingo like that every now and again now is she?” I dryly retorted; feeling a little miffed that Rainbow would even imply that I was conforming in any way, shape, or form.

“So aren’t’cha gonna ask what I was attempting to do before you so heroically caught me?” She asked after a half-minute pause where she did some stretches and checked for strained muscles. She looked just like one of those girls who were crazy about fitness: wearing cyan sport shorts with a tank top that hugged every inch of her lithe form and possessing an aura that bolstered those around her to feel electrified.

“No” Was my short response, to be honest I couldn’t really care less.

She looked vaguely insulted at my brusqueness, “Well I’m telling you anyway!” She assumed a dramatic pose, “So there I was, soaring through the air like a pro! On my epic quest to join the Wonderbolts team of elite aerialists, of course, in order to impress them I had to make sure my triple corkscrew Buccaneer Blitz with a reverse Thunder run that ended in a loop was flawless” She narrated with great enthusiasm, she was just that passionate about flying I guess.

“I’m assuming that the loop part was where you lost control” I cut in, not really interested in her flight routines at the moment.

“Hey I could have handled it! You just happened to be in the way was all” She grumbled to herself.

“I’m sure. Say Dash, would you happen to know any spots where I could stretch my wings without anybody seeing them would be?”

“Why are you asking?” She tilted her head at my conspicuous tone.

“I’ve got an errand that I have to run in Stratopolis but the only way to reliably get there is with my wings…which I can’t use in open sight if I want to keep my special identity unknown to the public”

“What sort of errand?” The nosy girl pressed.

“Remember how Twilight said that the Princesses commissioned me a cloud home?” She nodded after a moment’s recollection, “Well I have to show up in person to ‘claim it’ so to speak”

“Awesome! Hey can I come? I was born and raised in Stratopolis and I haven’t been back in a while. I could show you around to see all the cool sights if you like” She energetically offered, I supposed that she could come…

“I wouldn’t mind the company I guess, provided that you know where we can take off in peace”

“I know a great spot for that, follow me!” She went airborne and shot off into the distance, a rainbow colored trail left in her wake.

I stood in place and tapped a foot impatiently for thirty seconds before she returned, a slightly sheepish look on her face, “Right…you can't fly there with me” She groaned in frustration, “We’ll walk I guess…”

We did so, Dash powerwalked while I was internally rejoicing that I’d finally found somebody who could match my casual strolling pace.

She led me to the Magiville water reservoir that they used to pump water up to the Stratopolis weather factory by creating a special kind of cyclone that ferried the streams of water up to a collecting depot on the lower levels of the city, as was elementarily explained to me by Rainbow.

“Ugh! Finally we’re here!” She shouted, sounding unhappy that she couldn’t just fly here.

“What’s your rush?” I calmly criticized the impulsive woman.

“Look, I just hate feeling slow. Its such a drag” She said as she slid a hand down her face.

“You shouldn’t rush through life feeling that way, you might miss some important things on the way” I loved being fast too, I just didn’t obsess over it.

“Bah! You sound just like some of my friends, I’ll keep getting faster until everyone on the planet knows it!”

“Okay speedy, do you know the way there? I’ve never been there as you can clearly see”

She smirked and cracked her knuckles together (which I noticed were covered with fingerless gloves), “Yeah I know the way, assuming you can keep up that is” She swiftly summoned her wings and darted into the sky blue yonder.

I muttered something impolite and chased after her. Even if I had a good deal more practice with my wings, I doubted that I would be able to catch up. I could try supplementing my flight with my magic, but I’d have to get pretty creative. I was struck with idea and promptly went to work casted a duo of spells, the first would be casting a field around myself that minimized drag almost completely while the second reversed the effect of gravity on my being. By doing so, I had essentially become like ‘greased’ lightning, skyrocketing at an ever-increasing speed until I was hot on Rainbow’s tail. The wind shear was negated by my friction shielding, so I didn’t even have to worry about teary eyes or getting that windswept hair look that I had seen many a Valkyrian male sporting. I slowly decreased the effect of the reverse gravity spell so that I wouldn’t overshoot Dash and get lost in the rapidly darkening clouds.

We powered through the masses of precipitation for a good five minutes, I had very little idea of how fast we were going and without clear view lines of the ground, I couldn’t tell how high up were either. The air became thinner and a good deal chillier, although this did not deter Valkyrian physiology, which processed oxygen more efficiently and offered greater insulation from the cold as compared with the other two clans. With a final burst of speed, we broke loose from the storm banks below and emerged within sight of the magnificent floating city of Stratopolis.

‘Hallelujah’ I was beginning to get a little claustrophobic being cooped up with Rainbow back there, who while visibly damp, looked ecstatic as she laid eyes on her hometown once again.

Even at a distance, the central city of the Valkyrians was a phenomenon to behold. Up close it was grand enough to fill your head with wonder. Waterfalls of authentic water and prismatic fluid cascaded down the outskirts of the city and fell to the Earth below in a fine glittering mist. Columns reminiscent of Greek and Roman architecture speckled the city’s skyline and looked immaculate in the light of the day. It was like looking at the identical twin of Disney’s Olympus but without the mountain. I saw both people and airships flying about the many airways that conducted traffic in and out of the hovering metropolis like flocks of birds in migration.

I whistled in appreciation, “That’s a hell of a view”

Rainbow gave me an impressed sidelong glance, “Managed to keep up huh? I don’t see why you’re so nervous about a friendly race if you can play follow the leader with the best of ‘em”

“Because I’m not really a competitive guy, I fly at my own pace. It just so happens that my pace can match yours when it needs to” I smirked in reply.

She scoffed, “Whatever you say. C’mon, the place you’re looking for is in the Nimbus district which is about mid level”

We soared in the direction of the big ‘Cloudiseum’ that had its own platform on the Northwest end of the city. Even though the city was composed of multiple platforms of cloud bunched together, they didn’t drift up and down against each other as I had imagined they would, everything was stationary for the most part. People who were walking amongst the clouds and conducting their business genially waved to us as we passed on by. I noticed a good deal of similarities and differences regarding this city and Concordia. The first and foremost being the fashions of the upper class, which looked a lot like those of the Roman aristocracy with long flowing robes and sashes of varying coloration. These people seemed less uptight though, actually having their eyes open and their noses parallel to the ground they were ambling on. Ships suspended by gaseous envelopes via lines and lines of rigging passed overhead as the sound of propellers chopping at the air filled my ears. The more I saw of this dreamlike place, the more fascinated I felt myself become.

It wasn’t much of a wait until we reached the location of ‘Cloud Homes Incorporated’. It seemed to have a rectangular layout, stretching back till it cut off just before the ‘Cloudiseum’. We landed on the puffy looking sidewalk just before the steps leading into the facility and scattered some of it to the wind, despite that, the floor more or less remained intact.

“I thought normal clouds disperse with enough of an impact?” I thought out loud.

“They do, but Stratopolis wouldn’t last as long as it has if it wasn’t built using Cloudcrete. Its what allows for structures made of clouds to stay malleable but durable enough so that simple things like impacts won’t destroy them. It also allows for regular structures to be built on top of them” Rainbow explained, acting as my unofficial tour guide of the municipality where she was born.

“So then anything that’s built of regular material here is technically a superstructure?”

“This is Stratopolis! Everything here is super in my opinion” Rainbow exclaimed with pride, completely missing my point.

We climbed the short stairway permitting entrance into the corporation and were met with a circular lobby that was made of marble. A wooden desk with a receptionist writing something was the only furnishing in the chamber, the scribbling of a quill against parchment filled the lobby.

I approached slowly and intentionally made my steps louder so she’d hear me coming. She stopped whatever it was she was doing and looked up at me.

“How may I help you sir?” She spoke with reserved tone.

“Hi, I recently received a letter from your company’s CEO informing me that I was to come here in person to finalize the designs of the cloud house that was commissioned for me?” I took out the letter and showed her the official insignia stamped on the bottom, along with the CEO’s fancy signature.

Her eyes widened as recognition dawned on her features, “Ah…you must be Zenith then! When mister Barometer told us that we received a special order from the capital, I could hardly believe it!”

She smiled for the first time, “But here you are! I'll notify the Foreman…” She finally saw Rainbow Dash, “Miss Dash? Are you also here to see your father?”

“Sorta miss Snowflake. You see, Zenith here has never been to Stratopolis, so who better to show him around than me!” She pointed a thumb to herself, getting a giggle out of the receptionist.

“True, very true” She admitted as she turned to me, “As I was saying, I’ll notify her father right away that you’ve arrived” She walked down a hallway that accommodated all of the office rooms. I was busy processing the fact that the Foreman and Rainbow’s father were the same man.

“Your pops is the Foreman of Cloud Homes Incorporated?” I curiously asked the girl with the colorful hair, who shrunk back somewhat at the question and inattentively rubbed at her left arm.

“…Yeah…”

I cocked a brow, “And you neglected to mention this, why?”

“Must’ve… slipped my mind” Was her half assed excuse.

I shook my head and ignored it, “Whateves… its not really a big deal”

‘Probably explains why she’s got such a kickin’ castle in the sky as a home though’

After a few minutes of waiting, the sound of footfalls reverberating against the stone flooring reignited our attentions. Two people emerged from the hallway, the first of which was miss Snowflake; who returned to her desk, while the other one was an otherwise unassuming looking man (save for the nearly identical locks of colorful hair)

‘Must be a genetic thing’ I mentally shrugged.

He looked all business faced until he saw his daughter, at which point his features lit up with a brilliant smile. His relaxed pace sped up as he joined us, his gaze was concentrated purely on my companion though.

“Rainy!” He swept up his child in a fierce hug, which was only weakly returned by Rainbow.

“H-hey dad, what’s up?” Her meekness was a complete contradiction to her boisterous attitude from before.

He dropped her to the floor again, “Same old same old, ensuring that all feathered folk are satisfied with their accommodations” He said with jesting humility, as though shooting the breeze.

His eyes then met mine; I saw a spark in them that could have been interpreted as either hidden aversion or open hostility. It was the mark of a protective father if ever I saw one.

“Who’s your friend Rainbow? He’s a tall one” He commented, never breaking eye contact.

“You ought’a know dad, he’s the guy your secretary just told you about”

“Of course he is!” He turned to his daughter, “You don’t mind waiting here in the lobby or getting yourself a pastry at the local bakery around the corner while I discuss business with him in my office do you?”

“I guess… I haven’t had a Cloudsdale Cannoli in forever” She mentioned offhand, oblivious to the white lie her father was feeding her.

‘So Cloudsdale does still exist here, in pastry form no less!’ I was aghast at this unexpected revelation.

He gave her an affectionate pat on the back, much to her dismay, “Well that’s no good! Feel free to fetch me one too m’kay?” He started walking back towards his office, gesticulating for me to follow him.

I shrugged to Rainbow and obliged him, following the well-dressed man as he led me down the corridor that had multiple office rooms on both sides. On the windows were the names of the usual occupants etched onto the glass in cursive lettering. The smell of coffee and donuts laced the air as we passed by an employee break room. Rainbow’s father (I didn’t know his name yet) was deathly silent the whole way, likely debating with himself how to handle me without coming on too strong, I was still an important customer after all. We reached the end of the hallway and I was ushered into a completely normal looking office. The walls of the room were adorned with numerous pictures of him shaking hands with significant looking people and also those of Rainbow Dash when she was just a little girl. On his desk was a mug with ‘number one dad’ written on it and a bobble-head of what must have been a Wonderbolt being a typical yes man.

“Please, have a seat” He directed towards a nice looking leather chair as he took his own seat at his desk, watching me like a hawk.

I was going to play this cool, even the slightest detection of fear and he’d probably pounce on me. Even though I had gone against feral Timberwolves last night, there was a crackling ferocity in this man’s eyes that made me wary. I leaned back into the recliner; keeping my eyes level with those of ‘Spectrum Flash’ as the placard on his desk finally informed me.

“Before I go into the specifics of what you came here for, would you mind indulging me a question?” He asked with a neutral tone, as though he was evaluating me.

“I don’t see why not mister Fla…” He cut me off.

“What is your relationship with my daughter?”

I thought of my answer before replying, “She’s a mentor of sorts. I don’t know if she’s told you this, but she and her friends are responsible for teaching me the magic of friendship, as instructed by Princess Celestia herself”

“Rainbow always writes to me once a week, but she’s made no mention of you” He spoke, trying to bore a hole in my skull with his pseudo glare alone.

“Must’ve slipped her mind” I echoed, “I assure you sir, if I was in some kind of romantic association with your daughter, I’m sure you’d be one of the first people to know”

He hummed out loud, trying to discern any dishonesty in my words.

“A question for a question, why are you being so passive aggressive about it?” I shot back, politely of course.

He hesitated at my inquiry, “After her mother and my other brides passed away, she’s become only meaningful thing I’ve got left in this world”

“You didn’t have any other children?” He didn’t even have to answer, that brief flicker of remorse in his eyes told me all I needed to know.

“You’re concerned about your legacy aren’t you?” He finally broke his intense stare and looked wistfully at one of the pictures on his desk, holding it longingly in his hand before showing it to me. It depicted him and a young Rainbow with a flag in her hand at a rally of some kind and a radiant smile on her face. Mister Spectrum Flash had a lot more wrinkles now than he had back then.

“I may not show it too much, but I’m getting on in years. After I’m gone, Rainbow will be the last one bearing the torch of my bloodline. I want to make sure that it is propagated only by the best”

This topic was making me nervous, “I don’t think I’d make a good son in law sir” I tried to excuse myself from the matter.

“Don’t sell yourself short, most suitors are scared off after my ‘passive aggressive’ treatment as you called it. You however, have held firm” He spoke, admiration creeping into his voice for the first time.

“Be that as it may, I’m in a bit of a uncertain spot regarding romantic relationships. But I’ll definitely let you know if I want your blessing should I ever end up courting your daughter”

“I’ll save you the trouble and grant it to you beforehand. Now, onto the matter of business…your cloud house”

I nodded, eager to put this subject behind us, “Right, what do I need to know?”

“I’m not sure how much you know about the construction of a cloud home, but I’ll keep it simple. Our designs are modulated, meaning that each and ever portion of cloud home is prefabricated and assembled together according to the customer’s wishes”

“Neat, probably saves a lot on time on construction if you can just fit building pieces together like Lego blocks”

“I haven’t a clue what Lego is, but I suppose it does. In fact it was my suggestion of that idea to mister Barometer that was what has propelled this company to the forefront of Valkyrian construction workings and myself into this prestigious position. It was certainly a change of pace from my other job”

“Out of curiosity, what job was that?”

He grinned to himself, “Oh…I only used to be the stunt course designer for the Wonderbolts”

“Really?” I quietly wondered if that’s how Rainbow got her obsession.

“You bet! The task of making sure each and every stunt course was unique using the same exact equipment was what inspired me with my fateful idea to begin with” He elucidated, happy to highlight his achievements.

“Huh, you learn something new everyday. So do I just look at a catalog and select which pieces I want to go into my new home?”

“That’s a straightforward way of putting it, but yes. You’ll also need to specify where you want it to be positioned” He chuckled to himself, “Perhaps over the same field that my daughter’s house resides?”

‘Great, now he’s just screwing with me’ I almost preferred the papa wolf attitude, but damned if I do, damned if I don’t I guess.

“I think I’ll pass on that most considerate suggestion. Would you happen to have a map of the surrounding Magiville area?”

“Indeed I do, along with several topographic charts” He reached into a desk drawer and pulled out several articles before handing them to me. I snatched up a simplistic one from the offered pile.

“A regular map will do, thanks” I looked over the map he provided, grateful that it marked the areas where cloud homes already existed, with several clusters of dots in designated areas where the shadows cast by the homes wouldn’t be a problem. I found a nice secluded spot in a glade inside the tamer woods just north of the Neverfree that was sublime for what I wanted.

I tapped the spot I desired with an index finger and presented it to Spectrum, who rubbed at his chin as he considered it, “It’s a bit of a lonely location don’tcha think?” He remarked, revealing himself as another one of those people who placed excessive emphasis on being social.

“Pfft, all bachelor pads should be someplace scenic and free of any interruptions to be found, in my humble opinion” I quipped in reply. I mostly just wanted someplace where I could be alone when I felt like it. The fact that it wasn’t too far from Fluttershy’s was a huge plus in its favor though.

He sighed with begrudging acceptance, “Well, the customer is not to be argued with. I’ll just mark the place where you want it towed on our records before we get down to how you want it assembled” He slid an article towards me that detailed what each module piece offered.

“You were commissioned one of our larger package deals, so that means that you can choose six modules altogether. Take your time deciding, I’ll go get myself a coffee… unless you want one too?” I shook my head, “Suit yourself” He closed the door behind him, leaving me to my deliberation while I reviewed the article.

There were loads of options to choose from, each module being divided into categories and into further subdivisions that showcased variations of a particular room like a kitchen dining room area. All the modules came fully furnished and had an exceptional decade long warranty. The first four modules were for living necessities while the other two were strictly for opulence. I used a pencil I fished from Spectrum’s desk to make notations on a checklist while using the article as a reference. I scratched in my picks just as the foreman returned with his favorite mug that he sporadically sipped from as he sat down again.

“I trust that you’re finding our assortments to be acceptable?” He asked me as I finished marking the paper.

“Its an impressive array of options to be sure” I sent the checklist his way.

“Are you certain? Once construction starts on it, you won’t be able to change your mind” He warned, I assured him that I was sure of my choices.

“Where do they assemble the cloud houses? This facility is too flat for them to do it here” I asked the foreman; I would be remiss if I didn’t indulge my spirit of inquiry.

“You are correct, they use the construction yards right next to the ship harbors”

He rose from his chair and I mirrored his movements, he held out a hand that I grasped and shook, “Pleased to do business with you, I hope to hear more about you in my daughter’s letters in the future”

“Positive things I hope” I replied in good humor and we parted ways shortly thereafter.

I walked back into the lobby to find Rainbow leaning against the receptionist’s desk looking restless. The crumbs clinging to her tank top told me that she made good on grabbing herself that cannoli.

“About time you were done! How hard is it to get buying a house out of the way?” The crown technically covered the expense, but it was semantics really.

“You need to chill Dash, that couldn’t have taken more than ten minutes!”

“I’m the most chill person you’ll ever meet! I just hate waiting”

“I believe there’s a city I’ve yet to explore?” I said, ignoring her complaints.

“I thought you’d never ask! Hey, you want to see the weather factory? As the weather manager for Magiville, I’m entitled to bring a guest with me to tour the facilities”

That was as good a plan as any for me, “Splendid! I would be honored if you were to escort me lady Dashington” I histrionically bowed and motioned for her to lead the way.

She rolled her eyes, “Don’t confuse me for Rarity ya’ wacko, I’m not into that chivalrous hogwash like she is” She said as we left the building.

“You’re right, you’re more into being daddy’s little girl anyway” My comment earned me a slug in the shoulder and a simmering glare from Rainbow.

“You tell anyone about that and I’ll thrash you, got it?” She threatened, her tough girl image on the line.

“Your secret is safe with me…Rainy” She socked me a second time, it hardly fazed this adventurer, she doesn’t punch half as hard as Daring does.

We reached a platform overlooking a unique vista after a half hour of walking slash flying to the eastern end of the city, which was in the Thunderhead district next to the shipyards. A small jaunt across the Cloudcrete bridge and we were inside the mammoth complex. In order to explore the factory floors themselves, we had to don special laboratory coats and wear hardhats to prevent any head injuries from things like falling ice blocks and other hazards. I asked about why they bother with scheduling a winter, the answer being that it allowed for the magic in the soils to replenish so they don’t have to go fallow. I was able to taste the rainbow (the liquefied version), which was an…interesting experience. Dash found it surprising that I’d actually tasted spicier things (Tres habañeros recuerdas?) but shared my appreciation for the sweet and spicy flavor of her namesake. The rest of the tour was sort of uneventful; there are only so many interesting things to learn about how they individually crafted snowflakes. However, the vats filled with fluid cloudcrete were a barrel of fun, especially once I found out that they were non-Newtonian.

“Non new-whatian?” Dash stated with confusion.

“It’s a fluid displaying unusual levels of viscosity” I explained as I took off my shoes (which mysteriously didn’t sink into the clouds and disappear), “…and allows for me to do this!” I tap danced across the surface of the vat and caused the cloudcrete below to jiggle in a humorous fashion.

“That’s actually kind of cool” She conceded, “But the director would have my head if he saw us doing that, so fun’s over”

“Aww… why do you have to be such a buzz kill?” I whined as I stared at the vat of still bouncing fluid yearningly.

“Too many eyes on us and I’ve got to act professional if I want the Wonderbolts to take my application seriously” She answered, crossing her arms together.

“Alright, alright” I relented as I put my sneakers back on, our tour of the factory coming to a close.

We leisurely sauntered along the skywalks in the direction of the shipyards after I had convinced Rainbow to take me there.

“There are so many other places we could see! The harbors just have boring ships. I don’t even see the point of us having them, we have wings after all”

I was not to be deterred, “Because the vast majority of the Royal Arcanian Navy’s vessels are stationed here! You may not find that very compelling, but I do” She groaned but escorted me there regardless.

The shipyards were magnificent, dozens of regular vessels like the one’s I had seen on the way in were embarking and debarking their cargos. But the crème de la crème were the military vessels that were docked in their own section of the harbor. Imagine the ships of the line from the old sailing era but without the masts (they were made from Floatwood) and gigantic propellers attached to the bottom of their hulls. They ranged from many shapes and sizes, from brigantines that were not much larger than the Maverick to first-rate flying fortresses in the sky that were not unlike the English H.M.S Victory in mass and firepower.

One ship in particular however, caught my eye, its hull was painted a light gray with a solid red stripe running down the gunnery line, it also shared the same versatile propellers that were on Daring’s ship but more abundant in number. The ornately decorated wooden quarter gallery had the name Skybex imprinted on it, which was fitting given the winged Capra with curved horns serving as its figurehead. A large flag at the ship’s stern flew in the afternoon breeze, it’s colors were red and gold stripes with the superimposed Mana Marks of both Celestia and Luna at the top left corner. I admired the mighty vessel from afar as I watched smartly dressed sailors scrub the decks to a mirror shine.

“You’re not getting a hard on from this are you?” Skittles rudely remarked as she butt into my daydreaming about manning the helm of the ship and steering it through dangerous waters (or skies as it were) and emerging triumphant.

‘Well that killed the mood’

“As much as I love badass naval vessels, they don’t act as a turn on for me, no” I scowled, freaking women always complaining about men ruining their special moments when they do the same damn thing in return.

“That’s a relief. Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you a few things now that we’re alone”

“Fire away” I said in a resentful tone.

“A warship pun, cute” She leaned against the railing that I was using as a hold for my elbows, “So at long last I managed to get my hands on the latest Daring Do novel, and there’s this one character that she teams up with that’s always referred to as the American” I couldn’t hold back a smirk at that, causing Rainbow’s eyes to narrow slightly as she continued her monologue. I didn’t think Daring liked the sound of it that much.

“The book is kinda vague about his background but describes him in plenty of detail as flippant, sarcastic, easygoing, and knew how to handle intense situations. He even saved Daring’s bacon when Ahuizotl was about to do away with them. At first I thought it was just a coincidence since it matched what I know of you to a T”

“Heck, he was the one to turn the tables and kick the villain into the wellspring of everlasting life, the following joke about him being ‘all washed up’ was a tad too corny for my tastes though”

‘I sometimes wish that’s what actually happened’ I derailed that train of thought before it made me broody.

She paused and looked me dead in the eyes, “But then I also remembered that you somehow got the book a week in advance…is there a connection or am I mistaken?”

I didn’t really see the need to lie, “Its not a coincidence, I am the American”

She gasped and went into fangirl mode, “Ohmygosh, I knew it! Did any of that actually happen!? Do you know the author? What’s she like?” She spouted with an energy that could match Pinkie’s fervor.

“Yeah I know her” (‘You remind me of a more reckless speed demon recolor of her’) “She’s brave, likes to laugh in the face of danger, has a mean right hook…”

I sighed as I leaned further into the railing, “…and she’s all woman”

“And you’re dating her on top of it!?” She eeks out an extremely girly squeal of delight before grabbing me by the shoulders and rocking me vigorously, “Oh you gotta introduce me to her sometime, I’m her biggest fan remember?”

I shook my head to clear it of those annoying fuzzies, ‘First Vinyl and now her? What am I, a shake weight?’

“Our relationship is private, I’m not going to go introducing you to her just so you can drool all over her. Besides, she’s out saving the world and possibly won’t be back for a few months” God how I missed her, if I weren’t so strict about my emotions I’d probably have manly tears running down my face right then and there.

Rainbow started pouting at being denied a chance to meet one of her idols, “First you rob me of that wonderful cider and now this…don’t you have any pity?” She actually stooped to using the puppy dog eyes, while those had no effect, her words did.

“Listen Rainbow, I was going to give that barrel of cider to you anyway. I’m just not really one for the drink”

Glee flashed on her face before disbelief took its place, “You could’ve fooled me! I’ve never met anybody who could put away as many mugs as you did. You weren’t even tipsy by the end of it! What are you?”

I gave her a flat stare and answered with flawless deadpan, “A Trifect” She made an O’ shape with her mouth as she realized what an idiotic question she had asked in the heat of the moment.

“He he, that’s right. How silly of me to forget. Thanks by the way, that means a lot to me Zenith” She smiled happily at me, the way the air currents made her prismatic hair billow in the wind was mesmerizing.

I slapped myself on the face once I registered what I was doing, “Better to give it to someone who’ll appreciate it than let it go to waste fermenting in AJ’s cellar” I spoke through my fingers, I’m sure my reaction was met with puzzlement on Rainbow’s part.

I hastily changed the subject, “We should be getting back, as much as I’d love to stay here a bit longer, I don’t want any of Fluttershy’s furry animal friends getting into my things”

“Knowing Fluttershy as long as I have, I’d say you don’t have to worry about it. She’s pretty good at civilizing wild animals, why would you leave your things there anyway?” She asked, arching an eyebrow at me.

“I housesat for her while she was away on an errand” I kept my answer ambiguous, since it was heavily implied that her rendezvous with Discord was something of a secret. I suppose I should feel honored that she’d share it with me even though she hadn’t done so with her friends, then again I did deduce the truth.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna at least see the Cloudiseum? It’s a pretty swanky place even when the Wonderbolts aren’t using it for training”

“Nah, I’m itching to spread my wings and enjoy some airtime on the way back” I didn’t leave any room for argument, doing as I said and grabbing some sky. I supposed that it was accurate to even say I was homeward bound, now that I’ve finally received a place of my own.

I’ve never given it notable thought since I first learned, but flying was truly an enriching experience. Up here, surrounded by an endless landscape of white, one can just feel their worries melting into the ether as their spirits soared. The environment was perfect for someone like me too, it was cool, quiet, and allowed one to be alone with their thoughts as they reached new heights; both figuratively and literally. I looked to my side to see Rainbow gliding alongside me; she didn’t seem to be upset over me abruptly leaving, but I didn’t want her to feel as if I was ditching her.

“Hey Rainbow!” I shouted over roaring streams of wind, “How about a little dare?”

“I’m game! You name it and I’ll show you how it’s done!” She boasted, or was a firm believer in her skills, semantics weren’t terribly important at the minute.

“We'll see about that, I’m challenging you to a game of chicken. Whoever can hold a skydive the longest without pulling up is the winner” She grinned that competitive grin upon hearing the name of the game.

“You are SO on! I’ll go first!” She went into a half inside loop before angling straight down in a nosedive.

I copied her maneuver and went into a furious dive myself, the shrill scream of the wind was whipping at my ears and I had to squint to keep my eyes from leaking. Stratopolis must have been pretty high up, because we held that death drop for a full minute, reaching breakneck speeds that neared the sound barrier. Speaking of which, I saw what looked like static energy building up around Rainbow as a Mach cone started to form. Before long I bore witness to the legendary Sonic Rainboom, seeing a massive wall of colors spreading out in all directions as I fought to keep steady against the shockwave. She reached the ground in no time at all and pulled up just a blades breadth away from the grass. She was good, no denying that…but I was dauntless. After a bout of erudition, I concentrated all of my magic into a supercharged inertial dampening spell to absorb the force of the impact. If Rainbow was playing this for fun, then I was playing for the win. I reoriented myself so that I would hit the dirt feet first.

I collided with the ground with an absurd amount of force, scattering dirt everywhere and creating a sizable crater in the Earth’s surface. Even with my spell, the jarring sensation rattled my teeth and caused this vibrating feeling to resonate inside of my skull. I coughed as I breathed in some of the dust from my borderline suicidal stratagem. I heard Rainbow worriedly shouting my name as I crawled my way out of the newly minted cavity.

“Are you alright!? What the hell were you thinking just crashing into the ground like that?”

Despite how stupid this idea was in hindsight, I couldn’t help a victorious grin from gracing my countenance, “I was thinking…that I won our little challenge”

Her jaw was practically on the floor, “You complete idiot!” She screamed at me, “You weren’t supposed to pull off something stupid that could have gotten you killed!”

“You didn’t really give me any other options if I wanted to win” I calmly retorted as I brushed myself off.

She couldn’t really discount that, “If I had any idea you were that crazy, I would have pulled up sooner” She tentatively spoke.

“It’s sweet that you’re concerned about my safety Dash, but I’m more than capable of looking after myself”

She made that exasperated noise only a woman could make, “You’re unbelievable you know that?” She turned heel and walked back in the direction of town, muttering something about how she hated losing.

I shrugged to myself and made for Fluttershy’s. Dash probably had a point about my foolhardy decision, but I was feeling too upbeat to really pay it any mind. After all, how many people can say that they played chicken with terra firma and won?

Author's Note:

You know something? I sometimes idly wonder what this story's tropes page would look like. Anyway, here's my Valentine's offering to you. On a side note, I've finally determined that the theme songs for times of angsty brooding and romance will be 'In the house in a heartbeat' and 'Robotech Soundtrack Love Theme' respectively. Feel free to look them up and play them for any story with those elements incorporated, it makes it more interactive!
See you in the next chapter!
Lots of platonic wuv
~ Zenith Starwalker

Comments

[AficionadoAvacado]

Thanks for the gift. I don't got jack besides a big thank you. So thank ya!

[Nick Terakidan]

Way to be subtle about yur desire of having a TVTropes page for your fic author

[8chill]

Thanks for the update!!

~8chill

[Zenith Starwalker]

3949446 Given how much content I've banged out so far, can you blame me for wondering?

3949014 Happy to provide!

3949570 Hope it was an enjoyable read!

[Shadow Phoenix]

This was awesome, keep it up!

[MG_Kenny197]

Ah I love the sight of ingenuity just like American firepower; Still can't believe that RD should have known right off the bat that he was "The American" Zenith you badass I salute you.
us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/feedough/feedough1005/feedough100500075/6969974-business-man-gives-salute-isolated-on-white-background.jpg
military-art.com/mall/images/ax0048.jpg

[TheFirebird]

Awesome as always keep it up.

[TheFirebird]

Awesome I eagerly await the next chapter

[AficionadoAvacado]

1) Like i said before, griffin as pet?
2) Next chapter?

[Zenith Starwalker]

4020587 1) I'll give it some thought as to whether or not to include a pet, chances aren't terribly high though
2) Maybe in a week or so, I've only just started

[Toobert]

Phenomenal, but I must inquire, why was there an absence of the USS Constitution, the first naval warship that was made completely of oak wood, and could deflect cannonballs?

[Fireeaters]

Another busted pic in this chapter.

[chavis54]

DID I JUST FIND A FELLOW COUNTRYMAN/PERSON?!
A LA VERGA, QUE CHIDO