• Published 9th Jul 2013
  • 1,299 Views, 19 Comments

The Conversion Bureau: A Pint of Cherry - Da Bunnana King

A night of drinking shouldn't of left me as the oppostie gender, yet here I am. A mare and hung over.

  • ...

Chapter One: Why couldn’t have it been a hangover?

The Conversion Bureau: A Pint of Cherry
By Da Bunnana King

Chapter One: Why couldn’t have it been a hangover?
= + = + = + =

I floated aimlessly in a sea of blackness not sure which way was up or down. I wanted to spit and see which way gravity would take my lugie but I couldn’t even feel face, I mean I should since I did hit a table before I passed out... well I could... kinda. It felt flat and pressed against something then it stopped.

In some sort of explosion a lush field appeared before me. But that was just it. An open field of grass that seemed to stretch on for ages.

“Well,” I said to myself. Like something or someone was trying to speak for me but it was definitely higher pitched than my old voice, “This is odd.”

“It could be stranger,” said a voice from behind me.

“What?” I said as I snapped my head backwards to see a snake like creature sitting on a hammock made of two clouds strung between two trees. I think it was a he but it was hard to tell from the mix match of creatures he was made of but yet he laid there with a massive pair of sunglasses on and a coconut drink in his bird like claw.

“What-, what are you?” I said as my voice began to find a middle ground between the two voices.

“I’m Discord, master of chaos and misfortune upon all and to date the best shuffleboard player in Equestria,” he said as he sipped on his drink, “So do you want a drink?” He said with a wolfish grin on his face as he offered me a drink in a wooden mug.

“No thanks, I think I’ve had enough... but why I am here?” I asked as he continued to sip on his drink.

“Well someone or somepony decided to spike your drink and now you’ve ended up here,” he said as he let go of his drink and it floated there by itself.

“So I’m dead and this is some sort of personal hell?” I questioned as he sat up in his hammock.

“No quite the opposite, you my friend are very alive but sadly you aren’t going to wake up as a human. So this is where I come in,” he began cracking his knuckles, “I can help you get back the way you were before but I need you to free me.”

“Why would I do that?” I pressed.

"Well I guess you’ll see when you wake up but before you do I think you’ve got to meet Princess Sun Butt and I’ll be in touch when I need you,” he said as he waved goodbye. Then the world went black before bursting to life again as a castle built before my feet and that Princess Celestia stood in front of me.

“Oh... Hi?” I hesitantly asked as she looked down at me with a motherly love.

“So my little pony are you ready to join the herd?” she asked as she slowly unfurled her wings to protect me from the light that emanated from behind her. She almost looked like an angel, well at least a 6ft tall horse unicorn angle.

“Do I have a choice?” I asked as I was somewhat forced to bow before her, though it felt like everything was in the wrong place when I did.

“It’s quite alright my little one, most people in your predicament usually say that but I’m sure you’ll enjoy your new lease on life,” she said as she lowered her wings beating me in the warm glow of light, “Welcome to the herd.”

The light felt warm and welcoming. Like a big warm hug that wrapped itself around me and I felt at ease. I lost my self in the light and blissfully fell asleep in the warmth of it.
= + = + = + =

“-re you sure you gave them all grape?” asked a voice as my head felt like it was in a vice.

I groaned in pain as I lethargically moved my arm over my eyes to shield them from the light that someone shone in my face. Though when I groaned my voice didn’t sound the same and my arm felt... well it felt like it had more bends and they were bending all in the wrong direction.

“I think she’s waking up,” another voice said as I heard clattering of hooves on the ground. It sounded like one of them bumped into some plates or metal dishes as I heard the clatter of steel. Who ever it was it had to be the people that dragged me here but I couldn’t care less about who did it but what was going to happen now.

I tried to open my eyes but they felt heavy, so I just attempted to lazily roll off whatever I was lying on and hopefully somehow formulate my escape and then to call the cops.

“Woah there girl,” said someone as I felt a hoof stop me from tipping over the side, “Lets just get you sitting up before you start trotting around.”

"I’m a guy,” I mumbled as I slowly put my hands below me and raised myself to a sitting position.

“Ummm...” someone said as I slowly opened my eyes.

The light blinded me at first but the two silhouettes of ponies blocked the entirety of the light but my eyes adjusted. In front of me were two ponies; a young yellow pegasus with a ridiculous orange mane and a large beige earth pony with a brown mane.

“Well about that,” said the young pegasus as his face turned several shades of red and had shame and embarrassment written all over it.

“Well what is it?!” I demanded as I nearly slammed my fist on the cot like bed but I caught something out of the corner of my eye, something light pink.

I slowly turned my head in horror as I began to see a large light pink feathery wing slowly leading out of my back. It was almost impossible but there it was; a light pink wing made of long thick feathers and feathery down in between the larger feathers.

“Oh god. I’m pink,” I said as my voice went squeaky and high pitched.

“Well we kinda-,” he began as he avoided eye contact and tell me the real truth.

“Kinda what?” I asked as my voice began to crack and kinda change to a feminine tone.

“Well we kinda accidentally turned you into a mare,” he blurted out quickly.

"WHAT!” I screeched as my voice changed to something completely different from my old masculine sounding voice to that of a girl.

“We can fix it,” said the other stallion as he pushed my wings down. I didn’t even notice my wings had sprung up.

“How?” I asked as I eagerly as my wings sprung up again and edged my way closer to the edge of the cot.

“Well we think we can, you just have to come with us to the bureau and we can turn you into a stallion,” he calmly said as I was almost at the point of hyperventilation and or crying.

“Are you sure,” I quickly snapped as I fell off the bed landing in a pile of my own hooves and wings.

“Yes we’re sure but I think we should teach you how to be a pony before we get you back to the right gender,” he said as he sat me up.

“Uhhhghhg,” I said as I flopped down backwards with my wings spread out, “Why couldn’t I’ve have just woken up with a hangover.”
= + = + = + =

Author's Note:

No WastelandGunner, I am not making a tulpa.

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