• Member Since 18th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Monday


Ah, the mighty bio box. So we meet again. You will rue the day you dared show your blank canvas around these parts! I will--wait, what do you mean you're already exhausted? Don't you dare run out of--


Hey you.

Yeah, you.

C'mere, sugarcube.

Lemme tell ya a story.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 24 )

This is probably one of the most original things I've read in quite some time. ^^


Thank you :twilightsmile:


I did have a lot of fun writing it :pinkiehappy: The structure gave me tons of freedom.


Hope you like it once you get around to it.

Well hat's one way to start a romantic relationship. Very enjoyable read. Oh and, Pinkie is insane. :pinkiecrazy:

This is a very creative way to tell a story. You kept it to the little moments that mattered and cut out all of the fat, though it went very fast as a result. Descriptions were sparse and to the point, dialogue was quick and spot on in character. You told precisely as much of the story as you needed to keep me engaged and caring about the characters. I imagine it must be a struggle to write with only the bare essentials. Very impressive work.

I need to say something about the synopsis though. To be frank, it's awful. It tells me nothing about the story and it does nothing to get me interested in reading it. If I hadn't already known what a fantastic writer you are, I can say with near certainty that I never would have read it. It didn't give me indication that I was about to read one of the most creative romances on this sight. A fic this good deserves a better synopsis.


Thanks! Also, Pinkie just isn't Pinkie without a hint of insanity :pinkiecrazy:


Aww, you flatter me :twilightsheepish:

I get what you mean with the synopsis. It doesn't say much on its own, but I was thinking about it as part of a whole when I came up with it:

You have the title (which is an objectively dry description of the story on its own). You have the character tags, which tell you it's going to be TwiJack. There's the category tags—especially the Romance and Adventure ones. And then you have the image (I specifically looked for one of AJ looking at the "camera" with a drink), the description and the first chapter's title, which indicate the narrative tone that the story's going to take.

Though I should probably change the short description, since that's the one you see in the little boxes that don't have all of this context surrounding them.

Yeah, I think I'll change it right now.

The heading of the main chapter should totally be the title of this story.

:moustache: This piece is truly amazing. Never have I read Twijack done in such a slice-of-life, adventurous, comedic style. There could be a tad more in the description of locations, and you need to make clearer in some parts on who's talking, but overall, this is a good example of what Twijack can be. That ending, lol! Awesome job, man.


They have some Thor picture about wanting another, but I'm lazy, so I'm just gonna ask.

Can we have another one of these? :twilightsheepish:


I think I left too many of Rarity's lines without an action or dialogue tag, and that might've made it more confusing in the long run :facehoof: I'll try to make it somewhat clearer in a couple of the initial scenes.

And thanks for the Spike :moustache:


Oh, I've got lots of one-shot ideas, sitting around in my notes document. Right now I want to focus on at least getting my main fic's next chapter out, though. After that, I might get some inspiration to flesh out another one (maybe the TwiLestia one) :twilightsmile:


(maybe the TwiLestia one) :twilightsmile:

When I read that my reaction was something like:
:twilightoops: :twilightblush: :heart:

Can't wait. :twilightsmile:

When I saw the description, I thought it would be a clopfic. Nope.

Lovely, very engaging narrative. You used Applejack's voice as the narrator very well; it made the story a very charming read.

You did a great job of painting this picture of the Mane Six being set against unspeakable horrors so regularly that they become jaded to it all, yet without really stripping them of their emotionality or the stakes. I think my favorite scene was where AJ and Twilight were in the cavern underground with only Twilight's horn as light. We get that little reminder there that despite their bravado, they're all still quite aware that they might not make it, or that they might not see each other again.

And then alongside it all, you have the romance. I love just how steadily and evenly I could see it building throughout the story. Fantastic pacing.

Good job.

wow for as short as this is, i think this became my #1 favorite story! :heart:
really though i wish that this was a long story that covered all of this from start to finish... every step of the way!
and how does this have so few thumb ups?
on top of that thank you for making such a wonderful twijack story! i sure love me some good twijack :rainbowwild:
you sir are brilliant and have talent! never lose it :twilightsheepish:

That was fantastically in character and left me smiling many times. Thank you for sharing this with us :twilightsmile:

Great story!

It flows beautifully, and leaves just the right number of unanswered questions about what they were fighting. It's easy to imagine that the reader is the one who AJ's talking to. Most importantly, you've managed to blend a serious story in with just the right amount of silliness . . . which makes it feel just like an episode, really.

I loved how in-character Rarity was with the sewer-water/flesh-eating insects scene. It's a part of her character most writers don't get--she complains incessantly about little things but just does big things without a word.:raritywink:

In a way, it reminded me a little of It's A Dangerous Business, too--and that's the story that really got me into MLP fanficion.

My only complaint:

...you've got another thing coming!

The correct phrase is you've got another think coming, since the original context was like this: "If you think I'm mad now, you've got another think coming," It's been shifted to 'another thing coming' over time.

Oh man, oh man. I am just speechless.

This is beyond what a simple thumbs up can signify. The story telling, the adventures themselves, everything about this is excellent. Beautifully written and its TwiJack none the less :heart:. I don't think I could have asked for a better story. In all seriousness though, it is stories like this that make me believe mlp fanfiction can be done, and can be done well. I would ask of you to write more explaining each and every adventure, but I almost like it better having the little bits Applejack told us. It leaves us to come up with everything that happened in between the time skips. I just wish I read this sooner instead of letting it sit in my read later list, easily the best read I have had here.

Sorry for the wall of text, but I don't think any fanfic has made me write more than a couple sentences of praise and left me feeling so, so giddy. :twilightsheepish:
Thankyou for writing this. :ajsmug:

words cant describe how awesome this story is its without a doubt 2000% cooler:rainbowdetermined2:

Wonderful. I love your writing here, and the unusual way you find to tell the story. Just the right mix of humor and seriousness, just the right level of detail. 5/5

I did see one error: "any worse for ware" should be "any worse for wear".

Great job though. Favorited.


Glad you liked it :twilightsmile: And thanks for the catch!

Decided to reread this, easily still the best story I have ever found on this site. I just don't understand why more people haven't read this. Not much else I can say that I haven't already though. You have my thanks for a great afternoon :ajsmug:

This is amazing! ... Right next to "Yours Truly". But being second to "Yours Truly" is nothing to be ashamed of. Still, this is awesome.

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