Hal 9000, Space Impact

by Iridescence T Wind

Rapture?

"Look, Mr. Bubbles. It's an angel! I can see light coming from his belly. Wait a minute... he's still breathing. It's alright. I know he'll be an angel soon."
-Little Sister, Bioshock

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"Now I will ask you again, what is your affiliation with Doctor Ground?" The Unicorn in charge asked again. She had been questioning Hal and he hadn't complied. His logic was derived from cliche movies back on earth, where if a villian questioned you and got awnsers, immediately they would shoot you in the head, or in this case stab, once they were done with you. By the look of the spear she was holding, that would be far more than likely.

So he remained silent, more than irked by being unable to move, it wasn't that he wasn't used to it. He had spent most of his life as a machine unable to move freely as he wished. But because she was demanding of him awnsers when she forgot one thing. He still had his gag on.

"Mmhm mmrph." Hal said around his gag, which would of translated into, "Are you stuipd or something?" had the gag been removed.

"For the last time. What is your relation with Doctor Ground?" She prodded Hal with a spear, causing a neat clean cut across his cheek.

Finally Hal managed to worm the gag enough out of the way to speak a muffled, "Ge' 'tis thin' outa ma mout!"

As if realizing her error, the mare was momentarily taken aback. "Oh... Right... Gag prevents speech as well as yelling."

Hal felt a slight tug around the back of his head and the gag fell limp, working his jaw he started again, "Thanks. Now if you'd be kind enough to untie me I could tell you that the Doctor and I are acquaintances for a journey to these so called 'Equestrian' ruins, which by the way don't look Equestrian at all!" He noticed a crackle and looked up, a small cut wire sparking with electric current attached to the cieling with a rusty binding that looked ready to come off at any moment Hmm...

She rolled her eyes, "What gave you that idea?"

"The Statues of Humans for one. A species in which I know a lot about." Hal shot back, smirking when he saw the Unicorn recoil in surprise, "I'm also taking a guess you don't know what powers this place?"

The unicorn narrowed her eyes, "Magic."

"Wrong!" Hal smiled as he noticed a rock, a plan formulated in his mind.Now only to aim it...

"Then what pray tell what does." The unicorn rolled her eyes, clearly less than interested but more than wanting to keep Hal talking until he slipped on his own words and gave something away, a substandard interrogation tactic.

Hal gripped the rock between his back hooves, "Electricity and Science." Hal span in his binds and kicked the rock upward... into a rusty bind meant to hold the sparking cord. With a clang the rusty bind came off, and the cable it was attached to swung down, barely missing the unicorn who staggered to the side in shock as the electic current swung and missed her. The cable's end however landed in a puddle, still sparking but too far away to use.

"Nice try." The unicorn mare snorted and took a step forward... into the puddle the cable lit from the other end.

Hal could of sworn he saw her skeleton as it electrocuted her, she barely managed a step back before muttering something he couldn't hear and passing out, the scent of cooked meat and burn't hair fermenting the room as Hal struggled with his bindings.

The sound of approaching hooves grew as Hal managed to free one leg, a batpony this time, he saw the unbound hoof and his boss smoking on the ground and let out a roar and charged with what amounted to a battlecry before he also stepped into the puddle. Zap. There went the bat-pony. Hal emitted a chuckle, not from a dark liking of hurting ponies but rather from the sheer stupidity of their captors. But then again, he was in an era which didn't even have a crossbow for Darwin's sake.

With a hoof unbound he used his mouth along with it to free his other legs before standing up and looking around, swiftly he noted the lack of anyone else coming in and worked swiftly to unbind his friends. It took a few minutes to wake them up, but a combination of hoof slaps and a headbutt managed to get them to come to.

"What... Happened?" Daring groaned, sporting a few bruises from their earlier confrontation with the bats.

"Ambushed, interrogator intelligence was questionable, exploited it to knock her out. Avoid water with sparking cables in it or end up with same fate." Hal explained and Daring hit him on the shoulder.

"And in Equestrian Hal?"

Hal sighed, "Captured by bat ponies, freed by questioner being stuipd and walking into a trap."

"Much better." Daring smirked and she kicked Doctor Ground elicting a groan from him, "What do you want? Five more minutes..."

"Doctor there's a giant spider on you." Daring commented casually.

The effect was immediate, the doctor sprang from his spot and leapt away... Right into the puddle. Zap. There went the Doctor who yelped once and then passed out, now similarly smelling of cooked flesh and burnt meat. Hal facehoofed. It was really a surprise that such a small thing was so lethal. "I'll get him." Hal told Daring in his patient monotone.

Daring snickered, "And now I know why we should avoid those."

After moving the cable and disarming the trap, Daring had willing offered to take up the first shift of carrying the Doctor on her back while they managed to leave the room into the dank hallway that was littered with human like corpses inside. When they reached the next room however, Hal's curiosity perked up. They looked in, and saw a few batponies playing poker around a magic powered communication radio as it emitted nothing but static. What he sought however, was their equipment which had been neatly stacked in the far corner of the room. He ducked his head back before anypony noticed and quickly told Daring, "Six ponies playing a game and our stuff is on the opposite side of the room, any ideas?"

She shook her head, "We could try and fight, though I never liked odds of three to one, especially when one pony has little to no combat experience of the two..."

Hal sighed, sure he was programmed with knowledge of how humans and animals fought each other as part of his education, but that didn't mean it Applied that well when fighting hoof to hoof. He nodded to Doctor Ground, who was still slackjawed and immobilized. Hal thought for a moment, "Wait just one second..." He went back towards the room he just went out of and came back minutes later wearing the armor of a batpony and tossed Daring one of the two spears, which she took in her mouth, "and now we're armed." Hal said around a mouthful of spear.

Daring dropped Doctor Ground and smirked, "ready?"

"Yes."

They charged in, ramming the two nearest bat-ponies as they were betting on their cards and knocking them into their colleagues. Simultaneously they brought down the spear's butts like a quarterstaff and knocked the remaining two seated bat ponies unconscious as they were recovering in shock. By the time they had recovered and stood up, two more went down under a rain of hits and the last two managed to retrieve their weapons before joining the fray, Daring had her's outmatched with the sheer speed she was using, and the batpony quickly realised this while he retreated under her rain of blows. Meanwhile on Hal's end the reverse was true. The Batpony was using his spear, something Hal was trying to avoid but continually getting nicked as he tried to dodge and blocking of the repeated stabs and slashes that his opponent was trying to give Hal a killing blow and was growing more frustrated with every blow that was blocked, dodged, or lessened instead.

What Hal didn't account for however was the wall behind him that cut off his retreat and the bat pony knocked the spear out from Hal's grip and pointed both at Hal's neck using his wings. Hal raised his hooves above his head in the universal sign of surrender. The bat-pony wasn't being merciful, he pulled back his spears and readied them for a killing blow before the wooden but of another spear came down upon his head.

It was floating with a familar magic and as he looked, Doctor Ground limped into the room and helped daring finish off her opponet as well, "Thanks." Hal and Daring both smiled to the doctor, who was still smoking slightly.

The Doctor smirked, "Haba da wah."

"Pardon?" Daring asked.

"Shaba de do ba ka ha?" The Doctor told them firmly.

"Um..." Hal remarked, "Are you purposely speaking gibberish?"

"Ka dab ba do." He said with a confused expression he eyed his tongue.

"Great. I think that shock gave him brain damage." Daring facehoofed, floating back into the air with her wings, "Any ideas?"

Hal shook his head, "Maybe, but I'm not sure it would be safe."

"Jem ba de hem bor?" Doctor asked, staring at Hal.

"I don't know." Daring smirked, "I kinda like him like this. More tolerable, can we keep him like this?"

"JEMPAZA!" The Doctor shouted at Daring, looking angry, "Mob de la quaza!"

"Hmm. She does have a point." Hal joked getting a look of disbelief from Doctor Ground only serving to break his usual lack of expression as he chuckled, "Kidding, kidding."

Comments

[TheOverPoweredOne]

JEMPAZA!

[Iridescence T Wind]

3604287 Mob de la quaza!

[CrackedInkWell]

By the power invested in me, myself and I, (since this story hasn't been updated for over six months) I declare this story to be dead.

My it forever rest in peace.

[TheHoodieChangeling]

me:Finish the story!

author:

[Crafting]

If at all possible, could this story get an update?