Never Leave Me

The philosopher

The philosopher #1 · May 4th, 2013 · · ·

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2526944 Thank you! And thanks for the follow as well!

The Ranger

The Ranger #2 · May 11th, 2013 · 1 · ·

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Holy.. I don't know what to say. I don't think I've cried in ages, but this story changed that

The philosopher

The philosopher #3 · May 11th, 2013 · · ·

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2558788 I can't begin to tell you how much this comment made my day. I mean, to read that from you—and you wrote The Edge and When Angel's Call, which are some of the most sorrowful stories I've read here—just, man, I feel honored! Thank you! :

The Ranger

The Ranger #4 · May 11th, 2013 · 1 · ·

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2559543 Those two are like Disney-movies compared to this simple little masterpiece. You should be proud of this

IceQB

IceQB #5 · May 18th, 2013 · · ·

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Oh my... feels a little there, but i lost it at the coffins, bawling like no filly... inside of me of course. And spike, a little insane at the end, i see? You see kids, immortality is the way to go!- *shots*

Also, ha. You wrote abiut Aj mourning Ab's death. Now the reverse xD

IceQB

IceQB #6 · May 18th, 2013 · · ·

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i suggest drawing out the narration even more to enhance the feeeeelzzz :D

The philosopher

The philosopher #7 · May 18th, 2013 · · ·

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2592904

Also, ha. You wrote abiut Aj mourning Ab's death. Now the reverse xD

Gee, guess I did, kinda ironic when you put it that way

Bad_Seed_72

Bad_Seed_72 #8 · Jul 25th, 2013 · · ·

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Bravo, bravo!

First, some really quick, nitpicky things:

"Yeah,Apple Bloom,"

Missing a space there.

I wiped away any tears I had before looking at Apple Bloom "I just... Can't believe they're all gone, ya know?"

Missing a period after "Bloom".

"Mmhmm," she placed her hat at the coffin's head, "Hard ta' believe they ain't here anymore."

Uncapitalize "Hard".

"Ah finished reading it, and ya know what ah did afterwards?

Second "Ah" should be capitalized.

"Sometimes a pony might pull the book out, remember us in someway,

*Some way

The weeping clouds from the pegasi earlier

Since you've capitalized "pegasus" in this story (a stylistic choice IMO), I would capitalize "pegasi" as well.

It's powerful currents battered me and pushed me back to the stone bed again.

*Its

Wow, the feels were strong in this one. Apple Bloom's fatalism (or acceptance of what she believes to be inevitable, depending on how you look at it) was haunting. Scootaloo's stoicism and Sweetie's mourning was handled well, even if only in a few sentences. The Crusaders are all grown up...for better, and for worse.

Moving onto the main character, Spike's despair and grief was poignant. He's cursed to outlive his friends, and they couldn't fulfill his wishes. It was biologically impossible. And there's nothing more tragic than fighting the biologically impossible. The way the library and Twilight's bedroom was kept immaculate was particularly haunting.