• Member Since 9th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 31st, 2018


Okay, now I know the empty bottle of whiskey on my desk 'looks' bad, but there's a perfectly sober explanation.



“When there is nothing left to do; you must set yourself on fire.”

Nopony quite knows what possessed Starswirl the Bearded to utter this odd phrase. Some theorise that it was merely a euphemism or a riddle, and means everypony has a purpose; and that if you don’t have purpose you may as well be dead. Others think it has something to do with boredom; that if you are bored you need to put in some effort to mix things up and be ‘not-bored.’

For Private Mercury of the Earth-Pony Shields Regiment and her friends – Privates Brute Force and Steel Block – this phrase always means the latter. Because what else is there for an earth-pony shield-bearer to do in times of peace other than to guard the palace? And guard duty often comes with boredom.

What better way to fight boredom than setting stuff on fire?

Rated Everyone for the lulz

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 22 )

Ok... This is curious.

~Skeeter The Lurker

When in doubt (or bored) set something on fire!

Perfectly reasonable advice, in my opinion.

really like this story. even though the story revolves around the stonewall company during peacetime, i'd love to see an excerpt from an active campaign. :rainbowkiss:

Haha.... Niiiice.

On that note: when dealing with a group that could take on a freight train (and win)...

Don't taunt them. It won't end well.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Come on baby light my fire.

Nice song. You make that up?

~Skeeter The Lurker

Oh, hello Stars reference. I suppose I have to read you now...

Nice. A royal ruckus is always fun.

~Skeeter The Lurker

The human you added to this kills it for me. Somewhat.

~Skeeter The Lurker

This story is awesome. I'm sorry to see it end. :pinkiesad2:

Thanks for the ride! Great story. :pinkiehappy:
Even if awfully short :)

Damn. Sad to see this is already complete.

A pony fic that involves burning things. As a Pyro, I must track this, and read it later.

So the story was quite good, don't get me wrong. That said, however, the description was VERY misleading. :applejackunsure: There was no fire involved as far as I saw, and It was more about the HiE character than the buddy-cop story the description seemed to indicate.

More reinforcement of the fact that Steel Block is Sherlock Holmes.
Robert Downey Jr. level beatdown right there.

Honestly, don't really care for the human in all this, kinda detracts form the other characters and comes off a bit of a Gary Stu. Shame too as the comic cohesion of the other characters balances out nicely.

this is gonna be good

Not gonna lie, when the song was called for, I totally had a Stripes moment. This was much better, though, no question. (If you're not familiar with the reference, it's a Bill Murray movie.)

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