The Doctor visits Equestria on a randomized 'vacation,' picked by the TARDIS. However, it turns out to be more than he counted on, as he must overcome some old enemies, and save not only Equestria, but history as he knows it.
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- Member Since 10th Jul, 2011
- offline last seen February 15th
TheAshenKnight
I'm a knight. Covered in soot. I'm not very good at this job.
TheAshenKnight
Joined 10th Jul, 2011 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Seeing as this is my first fanfic, any feedback/criticism on it would be appreciated. Thanks in advance guys! :)
Looks good so far.
Will read tonight and provide feedback.
That was really good, in my humble opinion. The only thing was that sorta bothered me was that you used 'Allons-y' a bit too much. If i remember correctly, he never said it as much as you made it out to be, especially in one episode, and not every time he was about to go somewhere.
Ahh, who am i kidding? I liked it, i won't deny that. Good job~
-K
545 Thanks! And yeah, I may have used that a bit much, but oh well.
558 Yeah, apart from that, it was amazing. Are you planning on doing another?:
853 Actually, yeah. I've been working on one. :) (Albeit slowly. I've also been doing some other stuff, and haven't made much progress. Hopefully I'll get working on it again soon.) No crossover, though. It's just a normal one.
Thanks once again.
Keep up the good work.
ALLONS-Y!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Why would I tell you who he is? He's a friend, that's all you need to know!" 
< LEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY... JEEEEEENGKINNNNSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me Gusta, mate.
And the "Oh, I know the Doctor!"
Also, because I am bored:
Very well done, and exactly what I expect of the doctor xD
Had no problem with you apparently using allons-y too much, I'd say it all the time too if I had that epic of a voice.
32421
Thanks. What exactly do you mean by that, though?
That's good. x]
The Doctor was still standing looking at Twilight, but everything had changed. For one, Twilight was panting now, and was lying on the floor... Er, ground. He looked around, and saw everypony standing in a large cave. The creatures were gone, thankfully, and everypony seemed to be alright, but what had happened? Then it dawned on him; Twilight had teleported them all out of there! Telepathy at it’s finest!
----
Telepathy is mind-to-mind communication. You're thinking 'teleportation'.
Also, The Doc was a little too carefree when it came to fighting the Daleks. Sure, he often walks right into a group of enemies with a smile when it's just him and his traveling buddies, but if you watch him when it's a group of five or more he always gets a grim look on his face, and no wonder when almost always everyone that throw themselves at them get wiped out. The Doc might not have been able to stop the ponies from getting involved, but for none of them to die at all is simply ridiculous. The Daleks were the most dangerous enemies that he ran into time and again throughout the Doctor Who series.
Please don't take this the wrong way. I may seem overly-critical, or like an irritated DW fan, but I'm trying to be helpful.
75361
Typo - Oops. x] Thanks for pointing that out. I'll go ahead and fix that.
Carefreeness - Hmm, good point. Thanks.
Deaths - I had considered that aspect while writing. On one hand, it'd be much more realistic and representative of what may have happened. You do have a point there; going into any fight of that magnitude and with as dangerous enemies as those, and then emerging unscathed, is pretty unrealistic. However, on the other hand, I wanted to avoid making this story grimdark. Yes, when you don't go into the details of their death, it's not really worthy of a grimdark tag, but it was still something I preferred to avoid entirely, if possible. For that, I looked at the Stargate: Equestria fanfiction. That had a similar battle (With less dangerous enemies, granted, but still dangerous enough to cause some damage.) in it, in which, aside from a few cuts and bruises, all of the ponies came out unharmed. I figured that there really wasn't another way to do it without delving into grimdark, so I went ahead with it. I do see what you mean, but that was a decision that I just went with.
Thanks once again.
391
Equestria Important to human history - Age of Peace
Saw what you did there
This story is amazing! Truly spectacular indeed! I just... don't really get how Equestria really fits into this "Age Of Peace" that's important to history. Anyone care to explain?
94716
Thanks. :D
Ah that. It was just a little joke that I added, hinting that the humans would eventually take the themes of the show, and then enter an age of peace through it all. EXTREMELY vague, I know, but it was just a little joke I decided to add.
100730 All that thanks to ponies? YES! All shall be assimilated into the herd
Perhaps really late in the day, but you do have quite a few grammatical errors. Still enjoyed the story. Very well done.
747216
Yeah, probably. I was the only one going through it, so I most likely missed quite a bit of stuff. It didn't help that I was pretty eager to get it out. x]
Thanks, though. :)
I saw the title and insta-liked, but seriously, good job my good sir, you get four out of five mustaches
sequel sequel sequel
I literally :D before even starting to read it
...
To bad this story isn't about spotted dogs...
That, Pinkie, is the oldest question in the universe
This was absolutely BRILLIANT! I'm now on a Doctor Who high.
The whole time I was reading this, I was saying the speaking parts out loud in their respective voices. Absolutely BRILLIANT!
Whoever did a thumbs-down has no taste. At all. Whatsoever.