• Member Since 8th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Bluecatcinema


E

After one of Twilight's spells turns Spike into a handsome unicorn, the baby dragon decides to use the opportunity to woo Rarity.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 8 )

Sounds.. Interesting! :pinkiehappy:

My favorite line;

:moustache: "You're so beautiful and kind."
:raritywink: "Yes I am."

Nice. :duck:

Wonderful! :duck:
Simply divine! :raritystarry:

That was quite good . . . short, effective, and everyone was in-character. Always enjoy a bit of Spikity :moustache: :duck:

Two small critiques:
:twistnerd: You've centered the text instead of left-justifying it. This makes it a little harder to read, for me anyway.
:twistnerd: "I never said that." Declared Twilight, "Declared" should not be capitalized, since it's part of the same sentence. You also use periods at the end of a character's dialogue where there should be a comma.

It's a bit rushed, to be honest. You shoulda spent more time on it to flesh it out.

Mate...
Don't want to confuse you or anything but... You know that Finn is a person that lives in Finland

"The spell should wear off at exactly 12:35 a.m." Twilight declared.

That should be 12:35 PM, since it wears off just after lunch rather than just after midnight.

Login or register to comment