The FlutterDash Group Collab

by Dalek Saxon

Diary - goaway

Diary
by goaway

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Dear Diary,

First of all, I'm sorry that I haven't written in you more often, but things have been crazy busy the last few days. There was the coronation of Twilight Sparkle for starters! Oh, did I tell you that she's a princess now? It's really cool! Everypony's just so happy for her (and a little bit jealous, too, maybe. Especially Rarity (Spike was telling me that she was at the library recently looking for a spell that would give her wings)). Of course, she believes that she doesn't deserve this honour and keeps expecting the bit to drop at some point, but I can't think of anypony in Equestria more able to wither this sort of burden.

Shame that Discord couldn't make it to the celebration, but he said in his last letter that there was something very important that he had to take care of. I don't like to admit this to the others, but I really miss him and I worry so much when he's all alone. They don't see his sweet side, only the trouble he causes. I just think he needs somepony to keep him in check. Maybe me? If he'll let me. No, I don't see that happening. He hasn't needed anypony in tens of thousands of years, why would I even think that I could offer him anything? I just don't want him to turn bad again. In my heart of hearts, I think he's still fighting his own worst nature.

Secondly, I had that dream again. The one where I'm falling from Cloudsdale, like I did when I was a filly when I was knocked off the cloud at the start of Rainbow Dash's race with the bullies (I wonder what they're up to now? I haven't seen anypony from Flight School in years). Only this time I'm fully grown, but my wings just don't work no matter how hard I beat them. I'm resigned to my fate when all of a sudden I'm caught a second before splattering crashing into the ground.

I open my eyes to see Rainbow Dash's strong, confident gaze. She says something to me, but I'm so overawed that it just doesn't register with me. We fly for a short while until she brings me to a hillside overlooking Ponyville, setting me down underneath an old oak tree (out of curiousity, I went and had a look at the hillside and there's no tree there, so I wonder where that little detail came from?).

Oh, maybe it's from when I first came to Ponyville. There was a tree just like it near Sweet Apple Acres until Applejack kicked it down to expand the orchard.

We sit there in silence for a while, just watching Ponyville be Ponyville. I can't find the words to thank her for saving my life, but Rainbow Dash knows already how grateful I am. Don't ask me how I can tell, I just can. There are so many things I want to say to her in that moment, so many truths I want to reveal, but the same old fears hold me back.

Again, she already knows this. Maybe it's because we've been friends for so long? The slightest look has always been enough for her to see deep into my soul. We don't need words to express our feelings to each other.

She, uh … kisses me at this point. It's not a passionate kiss between lovers, nor is it a chaste embrace between friends. It's something more and something less all at once. Comforting, warm, tender. Hopeful? Expectant? I don't know how else to explain it.

Rainbow Dash breaks the kiss, then says something else to me that I can never remember, and this is when I wake up. I suppose my feelings for her are rather confused. I love her, but I don't know if I'm in love with her or just totally overwhelmed by the fact that she's everything I'm not: funny, confident, athletic. Pretty? She doesn't have to try to be beautiful, she just is.

Free. That's it. She isn't constantly weighed down by her own fears like I am, and that's what I find myself drawn to.

Well, thanks for listening.

Love,

Fluttershy.

*

“She only wanted you to see it,” Discord said in a low voice. “She made me Pinkie Promise not to let anypony else near it. She said to burn it after reading.”

“D'you think she'll haunt me forever if I decide to keep it instead?” asked Rainbow Dash wiping away the tears forming in her eyes. It had been three days since illness had robbed them of their dear friend, and only now did Rainbow Dash truly feel as though she understood Fluttershy. There was some irony there, surely, but she was too tired and depressed to go looking for it.

“Considering that she was scared of her own shadow, can you imagine what it would do to her if she found out that she was doomed to walk Equestria as a ghost?” Discord laughed hollowly, wondering what the point of having all this power was if you couldn't use it to save somepony you loved. “No, she'll be much happier wherever she is now. And I dare say that those who have gone before will find their lives considerably brighter with her around.”

“I'll see her again one day, won't I? And I'll be able to tell her how I feel, right?”

Discord looked into the pegasus' eyes. “You aren't thinking …?”

“What? No, of course not. She wouldn't want that.” Rainbow Dash placed the diary Fluttershy had kept since she was a filly on a bookshelf that had, until now, only contained the many volumes of Daring Do.

She could think of no better place for it than alongside another one of her heroes.

Comments

[Sage of the Leaf]

Well shit I was not expecting this assault on my feels