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Spike had always wanted to be with Rarity and felt certain she was the one he was meant to be with. He never thought he needed anyone else. But he didn't realize he had won over Fluttershy without even trying. But will Spike let go of his long time obsession and take a chance with someone who returned his feelings?
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I have to admit, I liked the idea.
Then I looked at it, and realized there was a giant spacing issue. It's a step removed from "giant wall of text", and that's not a compliment.
2501352 I apologize for that. I had done most of the editing in MS word and didn't realize that it wouldn't carry over to here. I will try to make it more presentable, but any advice you can give would be very appreciated.
2501786
I'll make you a once in a lifetime offer.
I'll pre-read for you, and this sort of thing should never happen again. :D
Now to go read, then give you some advice.
2501799 I appreciate it. Thank you.
Alright, here is my bigger and more thought out message.
You're almost there with the spacing. Some of the sentences are cut off, as if you pressed enter in the middle of it. Another thing is that you seem to have it be centered, though I'm not sure if that's a conscious decision or not. Another thing that came up was the dialogue. No, it isn't horrible. It does have the occasional "script" feel to it, though, where you put the name of the speaker next to the line.
And I caught one spelling error:
"Thank you foor the night out Fluttershy."
Take out an O and you'll be fine.
From a content standpoint, perhaps there could be a little more hesitation at the end when he's being asked if they're going out. After all, he loves Rarity. I'd imagine it'd probably be a no.
Then again, it's your story and your characterizations. Don't let anyone force you to change your head-canon.
2501855I'm used to writing in a script format with fictions so it's a little hard to break. that habit. As for him not certain if he likes Fluttershy or not, that's a reaction to all the comments by Pinkie and Mr. Cake, as well as the awkward feelings he had, like he doesn't know it it was serious, or if it was just a friendly outing.
2501878
The script format isn't bad, but you might want to work on that. Either that, or go all in with the script format. That will help with making it look a little better (all one or all the other).
Edit: You're almost there.
"Hello Twilight. I'm so sorry for Spike being late, but Rarity couldn't join him tonight so I offered him a treat at Sugarcube
corner. We lost track of time."
Is a good example of what I mean
"Hello Twilight. I'm so sorry for Spike being late, but Rarity couldn't join him tonight so I offered him a treat at Sugarcube corner. We lost track of time."
Like I said, very willing to look it over and find these smaller mistakes to help you out.
2501888 The problem is I originally wrote it out as a script but this site doesn't accept stories in that format so I had to edit it to be published.
2501986
Oh right, I forgot.
I wish you luck in trying to -not- do that, then?
The has promise but the script format makes it hard to read with all the broken sentences. Though I'm happy to another Flutterspike fix.
2502323 Honestly I've editied it severeal times trying to get the format right, but everytime I save something is cut off at the wrong point.
I'm glad you enjoyed it and will keep working on it.
I like it.
2504457thank you.
The way Fluttershy is acting makes me feel all tingly inside.
2510022 I take you enjoyed it then. The idea behind her feelings was based on the first episode when, she first saw Spike and she got so excited and fascinated by him. I figured she would try to learn more about him and talk to him as time went on, eventually developing feelings for him.
I love Spike, I am a huge fan of his, but he needs to open his eyes and realize that there is other beautiful mares in the world of Equestria than just Rarity. For Celestia's sake, Fluttershy is truly beautiful and she has the same feelings for Spike that he has for Rarity. Oh, he makes me mad sometimes. WAKE UP SPIKE!
Love this so far. 
2513771 That is the idea I have for this, but try to think of it from his perspective. Spike has been longing for Rarity so long, he thinks it truly is love and they're meant to be together. It's like twilight tells him when he crying over breakfast, when you want something so badly, you believe it's right for you, even if it's impossible to have. So when Fluttershy comes and rocks his feelings, he has no idea how to feel about it.
Oh, no, no, no.. Not this way Spike, you can't win somepony's love with magic. Oh, I sure hope this doesn't turn out bad for him or Fluttershy and the other girls.
2513876 Just wait and see.
2513884 Oh, I know. Spike is just my favorite background character, and he truly does deserve a special somepony. I just don't anything to change between him, the one he chooses, and his other friends.
Though Rarity is my favourite, I certainly hope this all blows up in her face something fierce for taking it all so freaking lightly.
2515075 Let's just say it will blow up.
2515085
So there is gonna be a point where Spike blows up to be a rampaging adult again and this time it's Fluttershy that has to break the greed? Where's a fire ruby for Fluttershy when you need it??
2520101 Not quite, just wait and see.
That was such a heartwarming story. It brightened up my morning a lot. I love flutterspike shipping.
2520542 I'm glad you liked it.
This was simply beautiful, touching, and like 2520542 says heartwarming. I am truly happy that everything worked out for the better, and Spike found his very special somepony in Fluttershy and the same for Fluttershy.
tears of joy here and liquid pride shed. 
Just now i realized Twilight was already an alicorn in this story
loved the story
will it have some kind of sequel?
2522418 Not sure. I was thinking about writing a story about their one month anniversary, but I don't have anything certain to work toward. I actually have another idea for a fic based on how I thought Keep calm and flutter on should have been.
considering that whole thing with rarity pawning spike off on fluttershy really tic
but it was still a loving fic all the same 
i gotta give yah some congrats
2525611 i understand your frustration with Rarity, but I never really believed there was any context in the show ghat could be taken as proof that she ever returned Spike's feelings. I've personally always seen her looking at him like a little buddy or baby brother, like how a teenage girl likes spending time with a little boy that likes to play with her. Glad you enjoyed it overall.
I think this song is what your trying to accomplish with Spike and Fluttershy
2527309 That does kinda fit. Thank you for sharing.
Nice. Little different then what I usually read, but nice.
2528119 Well, whatever you feel works or you like, that's fine by me. I just wanted to write something based on my personal preferences.
2527996 Thank you. Glad you enjoyed.
I think this will correctly summarize what happens to Rarity and Twilight afterwards.
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/5465132800/hD9E766A2/
2532524 Did I really write them in that negative a light?
That was beautiful.
2534939 Thank you.
2532524
HAUHAUHAHUAHUAHA!
2532524 HAHAHA! Serves them right.
You really need to understand about 'spaces'
MY FEEEEELS!
*Enemy's feels has fainted
-Kiryu
2641268 I'm glad you liked it.
Aww. This is probably the cutest SpikexFluttershy story I've ready. I do feel bad for Spike being rejected by Rarity though and I didn't like him yelling at Fluttershy like that, but the rest was just great.
2651993 Well, as far as Rarity rejecting him, I had to put that, otherwise Spike wouldn't have a real reason to stop pursuing Rarity.
2653350Very true.
Wow, I couldn't even make it to line 10.
This is really badly done. You've got sentences broken into multiple lines, you're going all 'tell' rather than 'show' and there's grammar and spelling problems.