Learning to Love: A Sparkling Sun

by Wolfe15

Being Pinkie Keen Lesson Three: Holding Your Own Pinkie Style

Twilight grinned and clapped her hooves together as Octavia and Vinyl downed another shot, Twilight herself on her way to being even more drunk. Twilight sloppily downed another shot before getting up and stumbling to the DJ Station. She yelled some word that made no sense to the DJ before bobbing her head to the new beat. She began to dance with a mare before looking out into the hazy of bodies. She frowned as a unicorn trotted from stallion to mare passing them baggies. She abandoned the mare on the dance floor and trotted over. "Watcha got there?" She slurred out as the young stallion jumped. He smiled at her nervously before grinning.

"I got the stuff man."

"Stuff?"

"The spice."

"Spice."

"What the hell are you a parrot?" Twilight cocked her head to the side and the stallion scowled at her. "Do you want some or not?!" She opened her mouth but she was pulled back.

"Get out of my sight!" She heard. She turned and blinked owlishly at a drunken Vinyl. Vinyl glared at the stallion who chuckled.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't my former best buyer! How you been Vinyl?" She growled and moved Twilight behind her. Twilight looked around, slightly panicked and found Octavia was pushing her way to them. Twilight felt a burst of comfort and looked to Vinyl. Vinyl suddenly snarled and launched herself at the stallion, who squealed.

"That's it! I'd love to introduce my hoof to your ASS!" Vinyl screamed before all hell broke loose.

Lesson Three:
Holding your own Pinkie Style

Ten minutes later, Twilight bucked another chair at her attacker before ducking and looking to Octavia. Octavia cradled Vinyl’s head on her forehooves and was looking around. Twilight used her magic to crack another chair on a stallion's back before yelling, "We have to go before-!"

"Shit! It's the Solar Knights! Cheese it!" The club dissolved into a mesh of limbs and fear as everyone tried to run. Twilight tugged Octavia to stand before levitating Vinyl onto her back.

"You heard the stallion! Cheese it!" The two mares took off down the street as the club was swarmed by royal guards. The streets of Ponyville were in a panic as guards arrested stallions and mare alike. Twilight rushed down an alley with Octavia following as two guards took chase. Just as they got to the end they stopped and looked at the high wall with a look of despair. They spun around and one of the guards tackled Twilight.

---

Twilight stumbled into the cell and groaned. She held her head and sighed heavily, before looking up. She had been transferred from Ponyville to Canterlot, since the cells at Ponyville were filled. She began to pace as her mind cleared and looked up to see Octavia shoved in with a tired looking Vinyl. Vinyl spun around and yelled some obscenities before holding her head. Octavia trotted over and hugged her before punching her in the gut. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"I was protecting Twilight!"

"Bullshit! You were getting revenge!" Vinyl's glasses slid off her face, Twilight was slightly amazed they were still on her face, and she glared heatedly at Octavia.

"That is bull shit! I don't care about revenge!"

"Yes you do!" Twilight held her head in pain and growled lightly.

"Will you both shut up and either kiss or fuck!?" Vinyl and Octavia looked at the irritated mare and flushed a deep shade of red.

"What?!" They squawked in unison as Twilight began to pace again. Twilight groaned and took a seat facing the corner of the jail cell.

"I can't believe I was arrested...Princess Celestia will be so....disappointed when she finds out." Octavia and Vinyl looked at one another and winced before trotting over. They hugged the distraught mare before the cell was opened and another pony was shoved in. They looked back and were shocked to see the stallion that had caused Vinyl's melt down. The guard left and the three mares grew nervous as he grinned darkly.

"You wanna tango now?!" He launched himself at Vinyl and she let out a whinny of surprise. Octavia rushed to help her while Twilight ran to the bars and screamed out for help. She tried to signal for them but the magic blocker on her horn prevented her. She cried out as her mane was grabbed and pulled back violently. Her head was slammed forward and she let out a cry of pain before bucking back. She turned and found Vinyl was nursing a nose wound while Octavia was trying to stand. The stallion ran at her and she dived to the side to avoid him.

His head hit the bars with a ringing thump before he stood and the door burst open somewhere in the background, Twilight looked up in hope and the guards opened the door. "Mr. Hoops?" The stallion glared at the guards before shooting them a triumphant smirk.

"Did my dad pay?" The guard nodded and the stallion smirked. Twilight felt her stomach drop as the stallion flipped his mane and the guards left. Corrupt guards much? She growled lightly then ducked as he tried to punch out. She turned and bucked him in the mouth before jumping forward and onto the small sleeping cot. His wings flared out and she huddled into herself before the stallion was bucked in the wing. She flinched at the sickening crack that rang out and looked away. Hoops screamed in pain and Vinyl smirked darkly in satisfaction, her muzzle stained crimson.

"Ha! That's for-!" He bucked her in the muzzle and she cried out.

"God damn it! In the muzzle! Always the bucking muzzle!" While Vinyl stumbled about in pain Octavia rushed and head-butted him.

"Rule one of rock farming and Lesson three in Project P: Holding your own, Pinkie Style!" She spun and bucked him in the ribs. He squealed like a little girl before grabbing her mane. She hissed in pain and Twilight whimpered before shaking her head. She needed to hold her own! Jumping from the cot she landed on his back and wrapped her foreleg around his neck in a sleeper hold. He snarled and began to bounce around while yelling began from the front of the cell. She looked back and was shocked to find Pinkie there. Two guards were trying to restrain her but her erratic bouncing was causing them more of a problem than needed.

"Pinkie? Why are you here?"

"To help you silly!" Pinkie bucked a guard in the mouth then stole the key and rushed into the cell. The guards shut the door and let out triumphant laughs while Vinyl groaned on the ground.

"They know she has the key right?" The guards shut up and they rushed out of the room, probably to get an extra key. Twilight yelped as Hoops continued to bounce around, trying to get her off. She pulled up harder and he began to bounce harder. She slipped and went backwards through the air as he bounced again. Still in midair he kicked back and she flew into the bars. She let out a cry of pain as her head it the bars and winced. Darkness began to enter her vision and she shook her head.

Pinkie bounced above him then brought herself down onto his back roughly. He let out a strangled yelp and tried to get up but Vinyl stepped on his head. He went limp and Pinkie rushed over to her side. "Twilight?! Are you okay? How many fingers am I holding up?!" She held up a hoof and Twilight groaned.

"Fingers? How did you know we were here?"

“Well duh my Pinkie sense.”

“You said it wasn’t-.” Pinkie giggled loudly before looking up and growling. Twilight looked back and found the guards were trying to get in.

"Get away you stupid meanie pants!" One of the guards laughed and Twilight blinked before looking to the key in Pinkie's hair.

"Pinkie, quick! My horn lock." Pinkie looked at her in confusion before grinning and unlocking her magic blocker. Twilight spun around and growled, causing the two guards to gulp.

---

Thundering down the street, Twilight looked back and winced as Vinyl shot down another pegasus guard. The four jumped over a fallen cart then rushed into an alley before going into a house. Pinkie giggled in barley contained excitement while Vinyl and Octavia panted. Twilight groaned and rubbed her head. Now she was a fugitive. "How are you feeling Twilight?" She looked at Pinkie before shrugging.

"Better all considering I'm now a FUGITIVE!" They winced as she screamed the last part before panting heavily. Pinkie gulped nervously as her friends mane began to smoke and her coat began to turn white. A Twilight meltdown was coming soon. Pinkie pulled out her Project P crystal and grinned.

"Think fast!" She threw it at the enraged mare and grinned as she paused. Twilight sighed and turned back to normal before looking down at the crystal. She channeled some energy into it and Pinkie's face popped up. "Lesson Three! Holding your own Pinkie Style! There are lots of ways to do this, fighting for the one you love, even admitting your feelings! Holding your own with confidence and a high held is essential to being just like me!" Twilight sighed then lay down on her stomach.

"I don't think I can do this Pinkie...I really don't think I can do this anymore." Pinkie looked down at the depressed mare in worry before grinning widely.

"No Twilight. You love Princess Celestia right?" Twilight looked at the excited mare and nodded slowly before getting up off the ground. "Fight for your love! Hold your own! We have work that needs to be done! Let's start planning this party and rounding up our friends!"

"How? All of them are busy. We don't have long. Her birthday is coming up soon." Pinkie grinned and pulled on some shades out of nowhere.

"We go on an old round up!" Twilight grinned weakly then strongly. Pinkie was right! She could do this! She could get this done! With a look of determination she nodded at the mares present.

"Let's do this!" Suddenly the door to the house was kicked in and guards began to pour in. "Um, by let's do this I mean let's spend our allotted days in jail...hehe." With a grimace they were all tackled by ten guards each.

---

A/N: Love you guys so much, I promise the next chapter will be longer. I want everyone to get an idea of whats been going on with the others and what they have been doing.

Comments

[Wolfe15]

362663 Sweet!

[katarjin]

stop right there criminal scum?........ sorry couldnt resist good chapter

[Wolfe15]

363113 Thank you. I loved writing this chapter!

[Cast-Iron Caryatid]

This is interesting enough, but the way you structure your paragraphs really makes it difficult to understand who is saying what. Take these two paragraphs at the end of this chapter, for example:

"How? All of them are busy. We don't have long. Her birthday is coming up soon." Pinkie grinned and pulled on some shades out of nowhere.
"We go on an old round up!" Twilight grinned weakly then strongly. Pinkie was right! She could do this! She could get this done! With a look of determination she nodded at the mares present.

You have a quote from no specific pony at the beginning of each, and then a reaction to it from a named character—which gives the impression that Pinkie is saying the first line and Twilight the second, when in reality I'm pretty sure it's meant to be the other way around

"How? All of them are busy. We don't have long. Her birthday is coming up soon."
Pinkie grinned and pulled on some shades out of nowhere. "We go on an old round up!"
Twilight grinned weakly then strongly. Pinkie was right! She could do this! She could get this done! With a look of determination she nodded at the mares present.

It's a well-known rule that dialogue from each character should not share paragraphs, and I didn't specifically notice that rule being broken, but the same thing really goes for the rest of the paragraph too. Each paragraph should generally be dedicated to one character whether it's dialogue or reaction. You can break the rule of course—like when you want to put a small reaction between two sections of dialogue from the same character—but when you do you should be conscious of it and make sure it's clear just who is doing and saying what.

I understand the desire to avoid writing repetitive "he said/she said" artifacts all over things (though there are plenty of synonyms for 'said' you can use to add interesting description at the same time) but like the above example shows, you don't even have to actually include that bit to tie a sentence to a character. All it takes is the construction of the paragraph.

Sorry if I sound like a grammar nazi, but I was genuinely confused about who was saying what a lot of the time, so I think it bears saying

[Zanzibar]

Question: Is this a Twilestia story?

That appears to be the case, but it wasn't immediately apparent from the chapters released so far.

[Wolfe15]

369192 Don't worry you'll see some Twilestia soon.

[Zanzibar]

369567
Sorry, I only skimmed through the story as I saw the picture. I'm afraid it's not really my kind of story, to much drinking, cursing etc. for me to really like it.

However, you should check this part of Fimfiction: http://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=group&group=65&thread=104

You are, with this story, eligible for one free game. If you want one that is. Enjoy :).

[Wolfe15]

369682 Um, ok

[Wolfe15]

376190 Okay.

[Wolfe15]

377495 THANK YOU! You my dear are an awesome writer yourself.

[aquilerafroot]

Just finished reading! I do agree need longer chapters next time >< or maybe short chapters and fast updates Can't believe I found this just now, I'd thought I'd read most of the Twilestias out there glad i was wrong!

363724 I would have pointed out some of that myself, if you hadn't beaten me to it

[Wolfe15]

377518 Awesome. I'll make sure the next chapters a doozy!

[RyujinDeath]

Hahahaha keep it coming it's too funny.

[Wolfe15]

Lol thank you!

[elflakkiri]

man, i find the dialog confusing. try to make it clearer who says what.