6756068 I don't think you've ever been to Canada, have you heard a Scotian speak? they have the thickest accents of the entire country next to the Newfies. I think your basing your criticism off stereotypes which I despise and make an effort to avoid.

Without warning her horn flared to life and shot a green beam of magic at Jason, time seemed to slow to a crawl as the blast inched itself towards him. There was no time to dodge out of the way so Jason found himself throwing up his free arm in a fruitless effort to shield himself. The blast struck but... He felt nothing, nothing except a jarring buzz in his arm, Jason opened his eyes and looked up. The blast met his hand and then curved around him, as he watched his hand began to glow with a silver light and a transparent silver shield formed around him.
Chrysalis ceased her assault and the shield dissipated, leaving Jason to stare at his glowing hand that seemed to be wreathed in an ethereal silver flame. His entire body buzzed like he had been given a shot of expresso and then shocked with lightning, his head pounded painfully and his vision swam. But... This power, this magic, it felt good.

Sweet! He can use spells now! Also, great work with the Chrysalis' Fall segment. It was brilliant!

"Here, I'll prove it," Cadence said, her horn glowed pink and the light constructed itself into a transparent dagger, before Jason or Twilight could react she brought the blade to her forearm and drew it across. Golden Ichor began spilling down her fur and onto the stone ground, it glittered and shined from the light of Cadence's horn. "See?" Cadence said, dispelling the dagger. "Golden blood, pure Alicorn, believe me now?"

Was that a reference to what Sam and Dean do in Supernatural each time one of them comes back from the dead.

It's 'c'est la vie', which is french for 'such is life'. You also got "gladius" wrong every time. You also put "we'll always from him" instead of "well away from him".

I have two problems with this story: 1. It's A really well-written story, but there are mistakes galore that shouldn't even be considered a part of it. 2. I have an itchy downvote finger when it comes to reckless/needless/no-basis-whatsoever hatred towards humanity.

I suggest you get an editor and/or prereader immediately. Seriously, a story of this caliber shouldn't be plagued by this many grammar errors.

6770221

I have an editor, if you're willing to become a secondary editor then you'd be welcome.

Also, are you familiar with WW1 history? After the war ended everyone blames Germany and the Germans basically became the face of all evil. And that was after a war only a few years long, the Human/Alicorn war lasted several thousand. It's only natural that the Humans would be demonized, and I will soon show the Humans did the same to the Alicorns.

6770259 Hmm, I might have some time, though, I must warn you that I have a full-time job, and am planning to go to college in a few months; I might be able to help, but it won't be a full-on, regular basis thing.

6770322

Not like I write regularly anyway, why don't you PM me an email and I can message you whenever I write a chapter to confirm you have the time to edit it. Cool?

That last line was, word for word, what I said, verbatim.

"And this is the way you do it?" Cadence cut in. "How dare you control my husband and how dare you ruin my wedding!"

there is an invasion, being done by an entire species, out of fear of starvation and desperation, and your upset about a fucking wedding???

The one thing I really want to know is who started the war? Why? And how come peace wasint an option?

8957568
yea me too man I dont think humanity would start the war unless a good and I mean a GOOD resions to start it. we dont just start war's for no resion.

9526929

I refer you to the War of the Bucket

9527086
Not over the buckte thought