No chapters for two months?!?!?!?!?!?

Booooooo

No matter how hard you repeatedly hit someone, the person will not pass out. Passing out is just a hollywood thing. There are videos of people with missing legs and head split open into two pieces staying conscious.
Liveleak is magic.

"Your just some washed up Royal Smith, how do we know you didn't rig Jason's flying thing? You were the one helping him build it, how can we trust you?"

Dafuq Pinkie?

Dude, the last two chapters are way better! What happened?

You've got Jason beginning to submit to the Diamond Dogs, and remembering his mother (who he did not live with), so we know he does miss his home. We're actually getting some depth out of him; I just hope it remains consistent!

Way to go!

4772564 I want to thank you for your criticism and suggestions, they have helped me and heavily effected the writing in the next chapter. I hope you will continue to read and enjoy my story, expect the next chapter before the end of the summer.

Thanks.

4793851
I just hope I didn't discourage you. I know I got a bit harsh in some of the more...implausible chapters.

I want you to keep writing, and keep striving to improve your writing.

Good luck on the next chapter.

interrupted by a grey angle falling from the sky

RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! IT'S THE GREY ANGLES! THE FALLEN ANGLES OF SATIN!
fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/048/b/5/rouge_angles_of_satin_by_specialagentartemis-d39s6fa.jpg

NOOOOOOOOOO!

On a more serious note, (not really)

"I can't find Dinky anywhere!" The mailmare said in distress "She was support to be home a long time ago!

Unless Dinky is in the military, or something thereof, 'support' should rather be 'supposed'.

through the Rainbows, spli

Unless done for the irony of the situation, 'Rainbows', in this instance, should be lowercase.

mares

Should be mare's when showing ownership. Mares' for multiple mares owning (a) certain item(s).

Jason felt a splinter of doubt

Ouch! Wood splinters hurt! Especially when they inflict doubt. Maybe instead you should remove that doubt with a 'sliver' ( not to be confused with 'silver') of hope?

I would have done this with every chapter, but this was the funniest batch so far.

The Slave spike this time.

spoke