• Member Since 18th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 2nd, 2019

Haseo


T

When King Sombra was still ruling over the Crystal Empire, he decided to restrain his illegitimate son deep inside his black castle.

Sombra feared that his son would overthrow him one day and bring the downfall of his bountiful empire.

The imprisonment was maintained for almost twenty years, until two powerful Princesses defeated the evil King and set his son into a millennial slumber, waiting for the right time to come.

A thousand years later, it is up to the recently crowned Princess Twilight Sparkle to teach King Sombra's pegasus son the magic of friendship. But will he accept the lessons Twilight has to offer him?
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Edited by Nonagon

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 50 )

Hm... This... Is unique.

I think I'll follow for now.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Sombra reference? Check
Alicorn Twilight? Check
Well written OC? Check

I look forward to more.

Well, the while story seems like an interesting idea. It'll be interesting to watch Chaser being introduced to society, especially Pinkie... That aught to be interesting. He's kinda an odd character. Never having experienced, well... anything, I'd not expect him to know much more than fear, and it seems that way so far.

Onward! I did notice some stuff in the story. Familiar with your writing style, I noticed some errors and mistakes that you commonly make- here. While that's not quite your fault, more towards the PR, it is still distracting to me. :P There are also some odd parts where the spaces come before the punctuation, or in the case of the end of the second sentence, there's both a comma and a period together. Again, something the PR, *cough Nonagon* should have seen.

Besides that, as with all of your stories, this one promises to be good! I want to see where it goes! Keep writing, my friend!

~Switch

this story made me curious.

Well I think this could be really good, just lower the amount of bucking Twilight. Also I couldn't help but notice that you kept using send instead of sent in somecases.

This seems interesting. I like the idea of Sombra blindfolding his son at birth. Never heard that one before. What confuses me is that light chaser is a pegasus. From what I've seen, all crystal ponies are earth ponies. (Not technically earth ponies, just don't have horns or wings)

Oh and one more thing:

I mean, he’s just a pegasus; what harm can he really do?

Oh, Spike, you racist!

2903036

We just never saw pegasi crystal ponies yet. They never said that they are not existing. But I will try to give a explaination in the next chapter.

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2902989

I looked briefly through the first chapter again and I hope that I got most of the little mistakes. :rainbowdetermined2:

Thanks for pointing them out :twilightsheepish:

Poor Light Chaser:fluttercry:. Well at least he isn't like my oc who is the son of Sombra too but is a unicorn that wants to bring back Sombra

2920147

Well, what can I say. Sombra is tagged in this story and the story just started. So there is still much room for imagination. :ajsmug:

2922219
Prince Dark Bane (Yes my oc has the same name as me) is a clone of Sombra in bases and he has a pet dark phoenix that multiples the power of dark magic

2925808
Uhh sounds fancy :raritystarry:

I had a similar thought once but who knows :twilightsmile:

This story is so well written, i couldve sworn it was professional. Well Done!

Congratulations! Your story has good enough grammar to be included in the Good Grammar Directory, a comprehensive directory of grammatically correct stories on FIMFiction.

2903036

King Sombra had an illegitimate son with one of his foreign slaves.

Yay! An update, finally. Don't give up on this story.

2981602

Haha, I won't give up. If everything go as planned there will be an update in 2 weeks.

I think I know why Light Chaser is so interested in Magic, almost all his torment has been based on his being a Pegasus rather than a unicorn, his seeking out this kind of knowledge, while about power is more about showing up Daddy Dearest by gaining magic... It may not be so much about bringing his father back out of love, but out of spite so Light Chaser can torment him this time...

At this point of course it's wild speculation.

Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.

3349713
That's the same link I use every time. It has to be clicked in story comments; images are only automatically loaded in thread comments. If it still doesn't work, try turning your computer off and back on.:ajbemused:

3349729
cute, no but really it didn't work probably because you just posted it, it works now

I seriously think that getting sight for the first time in 15-25 years (no idea of the ponies' ages) would have had a bigger reaction...
From a psychological standpoint, Light Chaser should still be functionally blind even with working eyes as he has no visual memory. He has never learned any of the tricks our brains used to perceive depth, form, motion, patterns, boundaries, object-background distinction, or visual tracking. Also, I think the isolation would have been horrible. This is what Wikipedia had to say on the psychological effects of solitary confinement:

[Symptoms include] anxiety, headaches, chronic tiredness, trouble sleeping, impending nervous breakdown, perspiring hands, heart palpitations, loss of appetite, trembling hands and nightmares.

Suicidal thoughts, perceptual distortions, chronic depression, emotional flatness, violent fantasies, social withdrawal and ruminations were present among these inmates a short time after admittance into the Solitary.

Also, there was a case of a super-abused girl named (by the people who rescued her) Genie. She was so deprived of human contact that she had never even heard any language. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genie_(feral_child)

While (obviously) Light Chaser had enough contact with his caretakers to acquire a language, I would still expect his mental development to be stunted.

Sorry if this seems long; I'm in a psychology course right now and can't help but think about this stuff.

I felt you revealed the true intentions of the cult too soon. I felt you should have waited a while. I thought it was awful, them killing Spike. I hope to god this is a dream that Twilight is having. Poor Spike.

3399270

Of course, you are right, but I didn't go that far into this topic because it would distract from the story. It would simply slow it down massivly and I really didn't wanted to let him learn to see and speak for an eternity. I thought it might be too boring for the reader.

3399314

Well, "true" is such a stern word. But what is truely their intentions? Everypony is seeking for their own goals. They could leading them somewhere else than the true intention of the cult.

Well that came out of fucking nowhere.

From a plot-advancement standpoint I see no reason Spike had to die. Having him unconcious amongst the torn up library would have had the same impact, actually, it would have had a much better impact. Having him tied up would show how dangerously capable this group is, while not going so absurdly far and forcing the princess's to take immideate action. The way it is now, I can't possibly see any reason why Twilight and Light would stay in ponyville at all. Until the murderous cult is entirely destroyed they would unexcusably be called back to the castle for protection.

I'm actually kind of dissapointed in this chain of events abrupt, largely unprompted turn. I'm morbidly intrested in how you're possibly going to continue any of the current story elements after this.

My expectations are not high.

What the bloody hell happened to this story.

Dun dun, cliffhanger!

Oh boy. Light Chaser. I am going to kill you!!! Good chapter by the way.

3881022

Thanks for that. I just wanted to add somthing to the current situation.
Bloodline and Death's Bargain, both stories are on-going, but already completely written and proofread. I will release every weekend two chapter of Death's Bargain and one chapter of Bloodline.

I won't continue writting at least as long season 4 is still going on. I lost motivation and can't think of an good idea to continue. Maybe I will return as soon as there is another break of ponies on TV.

And now some words to Bloodline.
From chapter six on, the story didn't follow the original script anymore. The story will have twelve chapter in total. There were like fourty chapter planned, but due to my life circumstances I can't continue and brought it quickly to an end. This is in alternate end, because I don't want to reveal the ending I have intended to write in case I will ever rewrite it. I will save the script to this one for sure.

Thanks for your attention.

So if he isn't Light Chaser. What is his new name? I am glad this story received and update.

3922270

Well, look at the title of the chapter. :derpyderp2:
I didn't want to say it directly in the story.

IS it over. That is so sad if it is over. Great chapter and fight.

3981458

The story is set on complete for now. If I ever decide to rewrite it and give it the effort it deserves, I will set it "on-hiatus" so everypony can see that I'm in the rewritting phase.

3981837 I just wanted to know if there was going to be an epilogue or not. It may be nice a little memorial service or a few last words between Father and son as they float in darkness.

3981923

Hmm... there wasn't any planned, but I think I can do something about it.Even if you have to wait a little bit.

Great job with this epilogue. I give you props. Great job. I approve.

4012317

Thank you very much, my friend. :pinkiesmile:

NEW GAME+ HAS COMMENCED!

edit: also, my thumbs down is now a thumbs up. the ending pulled it together perfectly....probably because I couldn't stand the idea of Spike being murdered.

4012427

Haha, great that you like my ending. :pinkiehappy:

As they say on TV Tropes

"Book Ends."

That's what you were going for all along, right?

4012610

I know it was kind of cruel to go for such an ending. :scootangel:
I already said before that the story might continue up from this point of the story.
It really depends on my mood if I ever continue this or leave it as it be and begin something new. :raritywink:

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