Works Cited
Works Cited
So, you’re still with me after all these chapters? Thank you for taking your time to read this over! I hope you found it as enjoyable to read as I did to write.
Most important to me is giving credit to whom it belongs, so let’s go through what inspired me to write this:
First and foremost, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic belongs to Hasbro. Big thanks to Lauren Faust, who sought to challenge the established nature of the existing My Little Pony line, creating more in-depth characters and adventurous settings.
Another very strong influence on this fan fic is the mini-series Roots, a dramatization of author Alex Haley's family line from ancestor Kunta Kinte's enslavement to his descendants' liberation. I would highly recommend this series to anyone, though it is difficult to watch due to the suffering. Still, it’s a part of America’s history, and had a major impact on our nation’s economy. You can find information on the Roots series here:
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roots_(TV_miniseries)
-http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075572/
Several of my pony names came from this wonderful source:
-http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_ponies
Other Apple Family names came from this source:
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_apple_cultivars
I used the following map as inspiration for all of my locations:
-http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/File:Map_of_Equestria_online_version_2012-08.jpg
I drew inspiration from the following episodes of My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic:
-Family Appreciation Day
-Apple Family Reunion
-Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000
-Bridle Gossip
-Best Night Ever
-Mmmystery on the Friendship Express
-Swarm of the Century
-Return of Harmony parts 1 and 2
-Spike at Your Service
-The Cutie Mark Chronicles
-It’s About Time
I really experimented with accents in this fic. The Dodge City residents are about as southern as y’all can get. The Baltimare ponies talk like they are from New Jersey. The griffons have a French accent based on the character of Gustav the Griffon from Mmmystery on the Friendship Express. My head cannon says that griffons are French, but griffons like Gilda are born in Equestria and have a regular accent. Take it how you see fit.
Mmmmmmm… Zap Apples… Seriously, can you not see Homer Simpson saying something like this?
The union strikes in Cloudsdale was inspired by the recent strikes that bankrupted Hostess. Good night sweet cakes, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. You can find an article here:
-http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/120687-The-Bell-Tolls-For-the-Twinkie-UPDATED
The Dodge City Building and Loan is inspired by the Bedford Falls Building and Loan from It’s a Wonderful Life, one of my all time favorite movies. It’s one of those movies that makes me cry like crazy too. You can find information here:
-http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0038650/
-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frXklECPkD0
I chose to call our young Granny Smith by the name of ‘Smithy’ to help you the reader associate between young and old, especially since the story jumps around a bit. I got the idea from pet names for children’s names. I’ll use my name as an example: My name is Sue, but as a child I was called Susie. Hope it wasn’t too confusing!
Pokey Oak’s tall tales are inspired by Jack and the Bean Stalk and an episode of the Care Bears called The Lost Gift.
The character of Prairie Tune is inspired by musician Johnny Cash. I used variations of different Johnny Cash songs throughout this fic, including the following:
-Ain’t No Grave: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0MIFHLIzZY
-Folsom Prison Blues: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8J7VQaWt1uQ
-Jackson: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43qK1Lh2xH0
-‘Cause I Love You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Nx3hSziElc
-Ring of Fire: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIBTg7q9oNc
-Family Circle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bA9jf-bm2As
-Cocane Blues: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ahbpzmir-k0
The idea of a memorial stick came from the idea of people making crosses out of sticks to remember the dead. Since there is no pony Jesus I just chose to use a single stick poking up out of the ground to honor the dead.
Grammy Gillyflower is inspired by Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies.
The “boys in blue” refer to police ponies.
A patty wagon is a police vehicle. Early police vans were in the form of horse-drawn carriages, with the carriage being in the form of a secure prison cell:
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Police_van
Get The Heck Outta Dodge is a reference to Dodge City, Kansas, which was a favorite location for westerns in the early to mid 20th century. Most memorably, the phrase was made famous by the TV show “Gunsmoke,” in which villains were often commanded to “get the hell out of Dodge.”
A debtors' prison is a prison for people who are unable to pay debt. Prior to the mid 19th century debtors' prisons were a common way to deal with unpaid debt. Debtor’s prisons are no longer being used, but collection companies can sue debtors for not paying their dues or garnish debtor’s wages. You can read more here:
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debtors'_prison
-http://www.bills.com/collections-advice/
Foalsom Prison is a variation on Folsom Prison, only ponyfied. The name sounded like a play on the word ‘foal’ and I got the idea from the Johnny Cash song Folsom Prison Blues.
I have chosen not to have my zebras rhyme, leaving that to shamanic types. In Magical Mystery Cure, Twilight Sparkle mentions spells rhyming. We have seen several times that Zecora can perform tribal magic on a shaman’s level, so I saved the rhymes for her.
The slave retrieval scene is inspired by the Fugitive Slave Act of 1850. This allowed bounty hunters and civilians to lawfully capture escaped slaves in the north, or any other place, and return them to the slave master. Many escaped slaves upon return faced harsh and horrid punishments such as amputation of limbs, whippings, branding, and many other horrible acts:
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fugitive_slave
The Trial of Pokey Oaks vs. Dodge City Building and Loan is purely inspired by Family Appreciation Day. Having worked as a bill collector, I know it can be difficult to persuade people to pay their debts. Often I tried to be reasonable and kind, helping people find solutions on paying their debts instead of being rude. Debtors are people too after all, and there’s just no reason what so ever to talk down to people. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t. I wanted to show that not all bill collectors are monsters, so this scene is to show some hope that there is often a way to pay your debts if you look hard enough.
There are several chapters named after signs of the zap apple harvest. These are supposed to be milestones for Smithy.
Amazing recipe for a grilled zucchini tower. Not as big as the one I envision being served in Canterlot, but everything is bigger and grander in Canterlot:
-http://www.justluxe.com/lifestyle/dining/feature-1803763.php
The American folksong Follow the Drinking Gourd was first published in 1928. The Drinking Gourd song was used by an Underground Railroad operative to encode escape instructions and a map. Slaves were often not allowed to talk to each other, so they had to sing to get messages to each other:
-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBOP8t2hlFQ
So why does Smithy go for Stinking Rich, even though we know he’s bad for her? Simple answer my friends: Good girls go for bad boys. This isn’t always the case mind you. (IE: I married a good boy after dating some pretty dumb boys.) I thought it would make for an interesting twist that would move the story forward in a good progression. Here’s a link if you want some research:
-http://www.yourtango.com/experts/sherry-gaba/why-bad-boys-are-so-attractive-good-girls
A Box Social is a charity event where women decorate a cardboard box and fill it with a lunch or dinner for two. The men bid on the women's boxes anticipating a meal with the woman whose box it is. The bidding involves teasing, joking, and competition. The event frequently takes place in a town hall, school gymnasium, or church hall. The practice had fallen out of favor with young people in the 1970s–1990s, but has seen some resurgence in recent years. It has been popularized by the Broadway musical Oklahoma. In this story it is used as a similarity to a slave auction:
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Box_social
Princess Celestia’s ignorance about slavery is compared to her knowledge of parasprites in Swarm of the Century. If she doesn’t know what a parasprite is after centuries of life, what else doesn’t she know about?
The name Bladire came from a former coworker. I thought it sounded exotic and pretty, so I chose to use it. It was either that or Kunta Kinte from Roots.
Bladire’s plight to Equestria comes from slave entrapment in the Middle Passage. Conditions on slave ships were often torturous based on the packed living conditions. Food was scarce, disease was common, and conditions were less than sanitary. Often workers on slave ships were put there to pay off debts. You can read more about conditions on a slave ship here:
-http://4thebest4e.tripod.com/id15.html
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middle_Passage
Friendship between slaves and slave owners was a taboo during slavery times.
The term ‘ziggler’ is supposed to represent the ‘n-word’ in this story. I wanted to give this piece some historical authenticity while skirting one of the worst words in the English language. Please don’t hate me for it.
Necklaces are for me a good way for ponies to be engaged. In the Royal Wedding we see rings for unicorn horns, but what would earth ponies or pegasus ponies use? I chose the necklace so that this can be answered and so that Smithy would have a tribal zebra trinket signifying her romantic and spiritual connection with Bladire.
Stinking Rich refers to Bladire as Toby, making another reference to Roots. There is a scene in Roots where Kunta Kinte is wiped into submission, his strong spirit broken when he gives up his freedom by giving up his name. You can see the scene here, but be warned as it is very violent:
-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CpJpGF8lS8
“A store where ponies could save hundreds of bits a year, gettin’ everythin’ they need in one stop! Wall to wall savin’s thanks to items bought in bulk, prices slashed lower than they’d ever seen anywhere else! It’ll be magnificent!” My Little Walmart ladies and gentleman. Have fun wrapping your head cannons around that one. I got the idea from the South Park episode Something Walmart This Way Comes, seen here:
-http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s08e09-something-wall-mart-this-way-comes
Stinking Rich refers to Smithy as ‘baby girl’ as his pet name for her. I chose this to show how he thinks of her as little more than a child that he can manipulate.
So let’s address one of the bigger elephants in the room: sexual abuse. I originally got the idea again from Roots, where sexual abuse plays a major part. I was mostly inspired by the slave ship scene where Fanta reveals that her spirit is broken because of rape, saying to Kunta, "I am no longer a Mandinka maiden." (I wish I could find the clip, because her words are so much more powerful than I can ever give meaning to.) There are several instances in Roots showing rape and sexual abuse as a from of control and a way to break slaves spirits. Abuse in and of itself in any fashion is a form of control, ie: slavery. I chose to have Stinking Rich rape Smithy to show him breaking her spirit and taking control of her body, mind, land, family, and finances, just as he took control of his zebra slaves. I wanted to bring Smithy down to the slave’s level so that we could identify her desire to free the zebra slaves as more than just a vanity project. This was a very hard decision to make based solely on the content, but ultimately I chose it because I felt it best identified the message I was going for in the story much like it did in Roots. I chose to show it as commonplace for slave owners to do this by the sexual abuse of Lizza, cementing this behavior in place and giving an excuse for the character of baby Kizzy. I hope none of you clopped over this… For a reference of common abuse of slaves, see this:
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treatment_of_slaves_in_the_United_States
Love stories are not my strongest stories, so pardon how awkward it is.
The Faction of the Stud is inspired by the Dixie Mafia and the Brotherhood of Steeds is inspired by the Sicilian Mafia. Their rivalry is inspired by the Crips and Bloods. You can find information on these gangs here:
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dixie_Mafia
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sicilian_Mafia
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crips
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloods
June the pegasus is based on musician June Carter Cash, Johnny Cash’s second wife. June had two children from two previous marriages and Johnny had four from his previous marriage. They had a child in their marriage, resulting in seven children grand total between the two of them. You can find information on her here:
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/June_Carter_Cash
-http://marriage.about.com/od/entertainmen1/p/johncash.htm
The cure for poison joke comes from a combination of natural remedies found here:
-http://poisonivy.aesir.com/view/natural.html
Some information about sassafras, which makes a root beer flavored tea:
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sassafras
Bruisey is a variation on the name Brucey and the word bruise. It sounded like a tough guy name.
The name ‘Salty Ron’ and the item of pecan ice cream come from a joke in an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 called Bloodlust. I don’t know why, but I laugh at that joke every single time. I decided it would work for some reason. You can see the episode here:
-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkvIKKcjlQ0 The joke is at 54:22.
The password, Mushy Surprise, is random. Just random.
Crab Apple’s opinion on birds is my opinion on birds. I hate birds!
The Underground Junction is essentially the Underground Railroad for the story. I chose to change the name for the sake of origionality. The Underground Railroad was a vast network of people who helped fugitive slaves escape to the North and to Canada, was not run by any single organization or person. Rather, it consisted of many individuals -- many whites but predominently black -- who knew only of the local efforts to aid fugitives and not of the overall operation. Still, it effectively moved hundreds of slaves northward each year -- according to one estimate, the South lost 100,000 slaves between 1810 and 1850. In this case, I wanted for Crab Apple's gang to have a purpose, and since the Underground Railroad was considered illegal it seemed like something a gang would partake in. You can find information about it here:
-http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/aia/part4/4p2944.html
Senator Carpet Bag gets his name from the derogatory term “carpetbagger”, a term Southerners gave to Northerners who moved to the South during the Reconstruction era, between 1865 and 1877. The term referred to the observation that these newcomers tended to carry “carpet bags,” a common form of luggage at the time (sturdy and made from used carpet). It was used as a derogatory term, suggesting opportunism and exploitation by the outsiders. You can find more information here:
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carpetbagger
The media frenzy surrounding Smithy and Crab Apple is inspired by the media frenzy of Bonnie and Clyde. You can learn about them here:
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonnie_and_Clyde
The Hoofington Post is based on a newspaper known as the Huffington Post. Personally, I’m more a Drudge Report girl, but if you’re interested in seeing where I got the name, check here:
;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/
For Drudge Report, check here:
-http://www.drudgereport.com/
Neighpanese ponies are supposed to be Japanese ponies, only with a horse pun. Crab Apple’s racist imitation is supposed to coincide with the times. Everyone’s a little bit racist sometimes, see:
-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RovF1zsDoeM
The Fire Hole is a real bar, but I have no idea where it’s located. I learned about it from a best man’s speech at a wedding I filmed, where he claimed that the bride and groom had met. He then said that the bride was the best thing to come out of The Fire Hole, and that nothing good ever comes out of The Fire Hole. This wedding also featured a John Deer ice sculpture, so I’m sure you can imagine what kind of redneck wedding we’re talking about here.
There is a drink out there called an Applejack. You can learn how to make it here:
-http://www.yummly.com/recipe/Apple-Jack-Allrecipes?columns=3&position=20/36
“After all, she’d just watched him go from puking in a pitcher while walking to flirting with her without skipping a beat.” True story. I’ve seen this happen at a wedding reception I was filming. Guy seriously walked and puked at the same time into an empty pitcher without missing a step. He then proceeded to try flirting with me, the lady with a wedding ring and a video camera. Grossest thing ever! I’m kind of glad didn’t get it on camera.
The name Glue Stick comes from a stand up routine by Jerry Seinfeld. I found it cute in a stupid way. Don’t judge me. You can learn more about Jerry Seinfeld here:
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Seinfeld
“Go to Tartarus” is essentially “go to hell.” Tartarus is mentioned in It’s About Time. Here is a reference on Tartarus:
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tartarus
The drunk timberwolf bit was inspired by stand up comedian Archie Campbell, best known for Hee Haw. He described an exploded still in his act making the birds on the side of the mountain happy and I couldn’t help laughing at what drunk timberwolves would look like. You can learn more about him here:
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archie_Campbell
The Mulitzer Prize is a horse pun for the Pulitzer Prize, an award for achievements in newspaper and online journalism, literature, and musical composition. You can learn more about it here:
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pulitzer_Prize
Libel is defamation by written or printed words, pictures, or in any form other than by spoken words or gestures. Here is the full definition:
-http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/libel
Celestia’s reference of seeing a scuffle turn into a brawl as soon as a chair is thrown is a reference to the Steel Chair Effect, from an episode of The Boondocks called Granddad’s Fight. You can see it in action here:
-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMt55fi7ZQQ
The Equestrian government system is based loosely upon the government of the United States:
-http://www.congressforkids.net/Constitution_threebranches.htm
The character of the prison doctor, Dr. Crane, is based on the television character of Dr. Fraiser Crane, from both TV shows Cheers and Fraiser. Fraiser is played by Kelsey Grammar, and he is one of my all time favorite TV show characters:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frasier_Crane
Dr. Crane refers to Smithy having asthenic personality disorder, which is mental health condition in which people depend too much on others to meet their emotional and physical needs. Information on this disorder can be found here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dependent_personality_disorder
Slavery had a big effect on how the United States progressed into the nation it is today. The eradication of this dependable labor even divided the nation in Civil War. When the war was won, segregation became the norm among former slaves. You can learn more about the slave economy, the Civil War, and segregation here:
-http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2003/01/0131_030203_jubilee2.html
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slaves_and_the_American_Civil_War
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racial_segregation#United_States
The Equal Liberty Proclamation is based on the Emancipation Proclamation, which proclaimed all those enslaved in Confederate territory to be forever free, and ordered the Army (and all segments of the Executive branch) to treat as free all those enslaved in ten states that were still in rebellion, thus applying to 3.1 million of the 4 million slaves in the U.S. The Proclamation could not be enforced in areas still under rebellion, but as the army took control of Confederate regions, the slaves in those regions were emancipated rather than returned to their masters. You can read more about the Emancipation Proclamation here:
-https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emancipation_Proclamation
"I thought ya was a manticore" is losely inspired by a joke from O Brother Where Art Though. Thank you Cowen Brothers:
-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPjhEsZr8Nw
The Dusk book series is a reference to the Twilight book series, and Applejack's opinions reflect my own regarding it.
Jehooveh’s Witnesses is another horse pun for Jehovah’s Witnesses, a millenarian restorationist Christian denomination with nontrinitarian beliefs distinct from mainstream Christianity that is best known for knocking on people’s doors and spreading their beliefs. They’re kind of a pest. You can learn more here:
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah's_Witnesses
The Equestrian flag folded six ways to represent the six elements of harmony is my head cannon on military honors or deaths in Equestria, similar to how a soldier is honored with an American flag folded in a triangle:
http://www.legion.org/flag/folding
Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support in reading this long novel of a fic. I’m sure there were moments in this fic that were hard to read, but there are moments in America’s history that are hard to read as well. I hope this helped open some of your eyes to a less than savory time our nation’s history, and give some understanding as to why it happened.
Now give your tired eyes a break!!! :p
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- DayDrifter75 · 11k words · 54 2 · 1.7k views
- Prince_Staghorn · 2.1k words · 20 2 · 801 views
- vadram · 6.6k words · 27 5 · 844 views
- B_Bubble132 · 1.8k words · 12 5 · 1.2k views
- Lophane · 8.6k words · 19 2 · 505 views
- Darkened Paradise · 25k words · 17 3 · 1.9k views
- Normal · 4.6k words · 25 5 · 666 views
- swirlstar · 18k words · 27 5 · 724 views
Stats
Page generated in 0.117 seconds
Total duration
650 users online
833,088 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
at first I was like... HOLY BUCK 50 CHAPTERS?! but then I was like NEED MORE CHAPTERS!!! keep up the awesome work!
2777282
Thank you! I couldn't believe it made it to 50 chapters either, but I ended up covering the entire lifetime of Granny Smith and discovered it needed more detail. I'm not sure yet if I want to write a sequel, especially since I have another story in the works right now. Still, I greatly appreciate your feedback.
This is the biggest story i've ever seen!
You've GOT to be featured on this one, let's help im' out, fellow commenters!
2832267
Thank you! I would totally love to be featured one of these day.
Indeed so. I'm glad Stinking Rich died but it would have been nice if he suffered before his death like dying slowly. Did he?
2983857
I don't think he suffered as much as the ponies he left behind. Besides, the point of the chapter was to show Smithy making a bad decision with good intentions. This is an ongoing theme in the story after all, that being the consequences of ones actions and how it effects ones life.
2988049 Ah, well. I don't know if there's one in your stories but at least I can always imagine there's a Hell he's suffering in.
Finally... Finally, I'm ready to review this fic. Apologies for how long it's taken, but at 100,000 words, it was quite the undertaking!
Reviewed as part of the Authors Helping Authors group.
Fic name: The Private Scrapbook
Author: Cadabra
Grammar: 7/10
While there were only a few spelling mistakes, certain errors were not only prevalent, but consistent.
Firstly, any one paragraph shouldn't contain dialogue from multiple characters. Aside from being grammatically incorrect, it can also be incredibly confusing at times.
Secondly, you almost always omit the use of commas when putting names into dialogue. For example: "You want to get that for me Applejack?"
Alternatively, we should see: "You want to get that for me, Applejack?"
Pros:
- You go to great lengths when fleshing out OCs and minor MLP characters, making it easy to relate to them.
- The story itself is an emotional roller-coaster, and one that managed to keep my interest throughout.
- Despite being rather complicated the story is told in such a way that it's easy to understand what is going on, quite the feat when you have such a vast array of characters.
- Some great dialogue and use of accents.
- Kizzy is just too darn adorable.
Cons:
- The pacing seems off in places and certain events are skimmed over without an afterthought. (Deaths of certain characters, Smithy's thoughts of suicide etc.) I get that you're telling an enormous story set over the course of several decades, but I couldn't help but feel a little underwhelmed by this at times.
- The occasional case of repeating words within a paragraph that could easily be replaced by something else.
- The story kind of petered out towards the end, not helped (as mentioned above) by the skimming over of certain details. The ending itself was rather unfulfilling. I can't say I expected sunshine and rainbows, but it definitely hit a bum note compared to what I'd read in the story thus far.
- Poor Bladire...
Notes:
Overall, I liked this fic. It has its share of problems but it's obvious that a lot of effort went into the story structure, and it pays off big time. Stinkin's antics made me angry, Bladire's exploits made me sad and Kizzy's escapades just made me smile.
Looking back to the first few chapters this story has come a long, long way. I guess the moral of this story would be, "Sh*t happens, and that's life." And you know, in a sea of stories devoted to characters saving the world, living out their dreams or solving all of their problems, this was a welcome change.
But Bladire...
*Wipes eyes*
In return I hope you can review Legacy: The End of Harmony.
3553368
Thanks so far. I am actually planning on doing a little bit of a rewrite to better explain Filthy Rich's struggles. I admittedly glossed over some of it in the story's ending. While I got the jist of it, I intend to flesh this out more, making him a sympathetic antagonist instead of a brat.
3615951
I do not blame you for your feelings towards Pokey Oaks, but that was my intention so I am glad to see this reaction.
I based his character after a friend of mine's boyfriend. He’s just like that, which bothers me. I have been trying to help him find a job for several months, wasting my time job hunting for him. He's got a culinary certificate that he isn't using, but tells me how much he wants to become a professional gardener. He also complains about how jobs like that require certain amounts of experience, but fails to see that companies want someone who will stick around instead of being a fly by night employee. Companies spend a fortune on health insurance benefits for their employees, so they want to be sure to pick the best person to invest in. He doesn't seem to understand that, and instead likes to complain about it rather than do anything to change his situation.
Writing Pokey Oaks like I have has been a stress relief for me in so many ways. You reep what you sow.
3617120 Than I'm glad I'm on the right track
3649932
I hadn’t thought to specify anything about the Wonderbolts, but you do make a point. I was just hoping to show that they were around back in the day. I'm hesitant to throw in names that will be glossed over though. Perhaps mentioning the group being male dominant to match the times might help?
3658743 That makes a lot of sense
HOLY CREPE THIS STORY IS LONG!
3704661
Sure as sugar is! Hope you enjoy it. I can't wait to hear your feedback.
ThaJohnny cash reference so bad ass.
3732498
Johnny Cash pony is best pony. :)
Wow, this is an interesting story, and pretty lengthy as well. That means I'll have something to keep me busy for a while.
3834546
The very same. Let the scandal begin! (Besides, look what we got with Pinkie Pie recently. :D. )
3857349
Yeah, this isn't my favorite chapter either. It's an end of an arc that while I have rewritten over and over doesn't have as much ump as I would like. Suggestions for making it better are welcome!
3857389 I say add some focus on the pair while you have the chance. Maybe have them sneak out and have a day to themselves. It would help make things move at a good pace as well.
3863370
Yeah, this chapter is nothing but exposition. In fact, the previous chapter used to be attached to this one before I fleshed it out (not very well I admit, but I can always change it.)
3878816
Oh, I hear you. I hate love at first sight too, which is why I decided to go with it in this chapter to (spoiler alert!) prove it wrong.
I am glad you are outraged. It's my intention. I wanted to get the "What are you doing Smithy?" reaction out of my readers, and I hope to prove my worth in the next few chapters. I have a feeling that you are going to like the next couple of chapters. :)
I come from the group Story Spread and I like the story a lot!
You should consider putting It info the weekly writer competition! just go to the weekly writer competition group and submit your story!
3966081
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement, and for the suggestion. I just submitted my story in the group you mentioned.
4041915
Glad you enjoyed this chapter. I was afraid for a second there that I scared you off! I really enjoy your reviews of my work as they are very useful, and help me reevaluate my work.
4172921
I sure hope you like where this ends up going. It is marked tragedy after all. ;)
4218464
This is addressed in the story. I got the idea from Swarm of the Century where Celestia was unaware of parasprites. I have that the powers behind the throne have her thinking that these are migrant workers come legally to Equestria, rather than telling her the truth. I know it's a bit of a stretch, but she does find out the truth eventually, leading to an Abraham Lincoln level of justice.
4218588 ..........wouldn't work i am afraid. it sounds sound at first but not when you apply celestia's tendencies to it. it might work for maybe a few years, but this is celestia we are talking about. the monarch who teases her citizens for treating her like a monarch. she would catch on eventually. hell i would half expect her to disguise herself in some manner as well if she had to........... maybe even as a zebra.
parasprytes? that is an animal, a fairly rare one from the sounds of it. it is one thing for her to not know about every species on the planet, another for her to not keep an eye on a business that is obviously shady.
the eyes of celestia lay where her sun shines; upon the ponies she protects and not into the heavens and away.
celestia is also a potential solution to the filthy rich problem here. she owes applejack so very much after all, as much as she owes the other mane six.
4218588 might be letting a small part of my head canon leak into that. i always felt she does nto trust her sicophants. she hsa lived far too long and seen far too many aristocrats to blindly trust their words....... also i noticed that she has a tendency towards passive aggression. she let loose the mane six upon them, albeit she did not expect total disaster. and when the canterlot wedding came around she had the mane six behind the major parts, even the catering..........
i get the image of celestia nearly passing out from laughter after telling Blueblood that all the food was made by a peasant and was 'carnival fare' as he dry heaves into a bucket.
as i said the parasprytes are not in connections to her government, but this slavery stuff would be. there is a dsitinct difference between wild life and governance............ the only other possibility i can see is if something was forcing her to look away from equestria for a time. something very distracting and important...... perhaps war. actually in the timeline, if we base the comics on it, when granny was young there seemed to be a war going on. that would definitely consume her attention.
you do not hide under the nose of a being like celestia you see. you make sure she cannot see where you are to begin with wherever that may be, if invetiable for her gaze to turn to you............ kay might have made her seem like the Eye of Sauron there for a moment.
when it comes to the issues now with the farm and filthy............ that does have a solution if granny decides that she has to end the lies. considering what Applejack has done for equestria and celestia in person, Celestia would probably eliminate Filthy's hold on the farm. but only if Granny ends the lies, if she has enough strength left to do so.
4218748
I can definitely understand and respect your points about Celestia. I knew going into this story that something like that can be a hindrance, but again, I tried to play it off as the power behind the throne influencing the monarch, similar to how Henry the 8th was so heavily influenced by Cardinal Wolsey before deciding to marry Anne Boleyn. A big part of me wanted to play at a crocked government and how it can effect the lives of others, the other and bigger part wanting to play on the idea of slavery as a synonym for control, meaning how one can eventually become a slave in their own life due to a bad relationship, money, status, etc.
I do genuinely appreciate your feedback though, and I don't want to come off as ungrateful for it!
4218793 problem there is with henry, he went into power while there were people already there. with celestia her advisors come and go as the time goes by. you cannot influence someone who was there before you after all, not easily.
thinking that this idea could work if Celestia's attention was diverted for a prolonged amount of time. Perhaps a war, or perhaps a supernatural threat of some kind that forced her to let her counsel take control as she dealt with it. that would make sense as they would be able to work their own agendas without her watchful eye upon them.
think a lot of people do not realize the potential with celestia. if you need her distracted, have something that draws her attention. she would likely keep the potential problems of this kinda stuff on the back burner if she must fight a threat t oher nation............ or perhaps a 'supposed' threat. you might not be able to disguise slavery from her under normal circumstances, but when she is ensuring that some demonic force does not bring all she made to ruin, she is not gonna be paying much attention.
4218793
4218825
.....and this guy revealed part of a fanfic i am writing. technically.
kinda the idea i had with it. if you want to pull one over celestia you gotta divide her attention. she is too wise and knowledgeable to fool if she can focus on you. look at what happened at the canterlot wedding. chrysalis had replaced cadance at the right time that any abberrations in behavior could be excused as stress. whether or not the threat to equestria was a slip up or intentional, it prevented her from focusing on cadance or tiwlight's fears. course it has to be something pretty significant.
part of what happens in my fic is that someone divides celestia's attention, forces her to look away so they can go after twilight. basically drawing momma bear away.
4220647
That is where the character of Senator Carpet Bag comes into play on this story.
4221912 something unrelated to her governing body i mean. hard to fool someone when they have lived a selenium and have seen every face of aristocratic intent, from the common greedy fool, to the extremist, to the zealot, to the rare individual with actual good intentions.
4303523
I have to admit, love stories are not my strongest writing. This chapter was a challenge for me.
4304273 I can tell.
4540409
No worries. I have had some rage quit moments in posting too.
I am working on a few of your suggestions for my story, and hope that I can get them up soon. I will let you know when that happens.
Honestly, this is one of my favorite stories on fimfiction. The only thing I don't understand is: How is this even remotely related to the conversion bureau?
Hello! I'm Avox, and I have reviewed your story on the behalf of The Pleasant Commentator and Review Group. You can find the review itself here, should you be so inclined.
If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!
4883403
Glad to see you back! Life gets in the way sometimes, so I understand.
My goal is to create an arc around the aquapony bit from season 4 to help develop why Stinking Rich is such a bastard of a pony. He is an opportunist, and has a tendency to gravitate towards his own personal success. That arc is in the works, but for now the story can continue as it is without.
In the mean time, busy wedding season is about to be upon me, and I will be filming my husband's cousin's wedding next week. And my own wedding anniversary is coming up. Yikes!
I have read nothing but the description, but I'm going to guess the "plot twist" here.
Granny Smith is Filthy Rich's mother. She banged the shit out of Stinkin' Rich and had his foal. Now he's extorting his mother because he's going to inherit Sweet Apple Acres.
I dunno about the zebra family, though; that one's got me.
4964130
Only one way to find out! :)
SO MANY GROUPS HOLY...!
5165857
It is. It's based on the old slave song Follow the Drinking Gourd.
5428245
You're forgetting the biggest factor: Granny Smith herself. She is very much her father’s daughter, a pony riddled with guilt, too stubborn to ask for help, believing that everything is to be heaped on herself alone, and too set in her ways. She is her own downfall.
Another thing to consider, and this is a consideration on the entire story, is that often there is more than one side to every story, leaving several shades of grey. I tried very hard in the story to show this with indications of differing mindsets, consequences for actions, and how ones own personal values can be both right and wrong for their own reasons.
Lastly, slavery plays a major part in this story. Not only the enslavement of zebras, but the enslavement of ourselves. The zebra slavery played a part in showing a parallel to Smithy’s own enslavement.
You are right that the contract is essentially worthless. It's nothing more than a piece of paper. It only gains meaning by what Granny Smith puts into it with her guilt, pride, stubbornness, and fault, all inner motivations that we use to enslave ourselves.
I know it's a old cliche but let one...count em ONE black human stumble in on that time period and sit back to watch the guns unload
Well it's 2:20 am and I have a test at school tomorrow. I think I should finally get some sleep
5748559
I got the head cannon from Gustav. Griffins like Gila are born in Equestria, giving them an Equestrian accent. Gotta love head cannon.