For reasons I don't want to go into right now, I feel like my thinking is disjointed right now and I can't concentrate on revision. Normally I revise as I work, but I feel like I might be repeating myself and being overly repetitive, and that maybe there's a lot of redundancy as I say the same thing over and over... ok, I'll stop. :-) Seriously, though, I think the second chapter of "What About Twilight" (which is the entire rest of the story, though I might break it into multiple chapters, or

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