I’m a lazy shithead who’s toxic and abusive and I ignore everything I don’t want to hear and am narcissistic and self-centered. I’m never going to amount to anything because I have no self-discipline or work ethic.

Sorry, this is a completely unproductive narcissistic bid for attention. I’m doing all right, I just don’t really like myself. Don’t worry I’m not suicidal or anything. Just a shitty person.

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Asi es, mis amigos y amigas. Porque es el primero the April, voy a solamente a ablar en puro Español. Para los que no sabian que yo soy un hablador nativo de Español, ahora es claro. Porsupuesto, an sido various años desde que yo he tubido qe escribir tanto en my lenguage nativo.

Y ahora, disfruten su primero the April. Yo voy a disfrutar my tiempo. Ja, ja, ja, ja!

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But well, my man Max became the world champion so I had to celebrate...

Well, now it's official, and I'm sure this will have surprised no one. My most popular story is now cancelled.

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You know the drill.

GO HERE AND DRINK: https://www.twitch.tv/mikesnipe

-Pencil

Japanese put Western freaks in their place. Good.

When jokes are more than jokes. They become reality.

Disney being disgusting as usual.

Men Cannot Be Women, homeless black disagrees...

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GO HERE:
https://www.twitch.tv/mikesnipe

It'll be great. We're gonna call each other cunts a lot. We'll drink. It's going to be super weird and lewd and great and horrible and oh god what are we doing.
See you fucks soon.

-Pencil

It's happening soon, at 4PM PST. We have the voice of the gods with us, er I mean Wuten, and he'll be answering questions and dealing with my overt sexual advances. Probably pretty well, from past experience.
Come join us, drink a lot, and have a good Friday! It's going to be a fun one, I can pretty well promise that, and we'd love to have you join us.
...I'm feeling nice today.
What's wrong with me.

Guh.

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So my mother was sorting through the few aritfacts she has left from my childhood (she's a pathological anti-hoarder) and she found a story I wrote for a competition when I was 8. Apart from a few minor spelling and grammar mistakes it's pretty much perfect. I decided to share it with everyone because 8 year old me deserves recognition.

Darkest Dreams

34 Placeholder Lane
Sampleton
AB1 2CD

7th February 2006
Dear Mrs Gillam,

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YES! We've got PUSSPUSS on tonight, RIGHT NOW!

He writes about and draws pony pussy and he's great and silly and rude, and weird and we love him.
You'll love him too.
Or at least you'll love drinking with him!

GO HERE:
https://www.twitch.tv/mikesnipe

ALL HEIL PUSSPUSS!

-Pencil

At 6:30 PST! Ready for this shit? Our guest this week is the myth, the legend, and one of the few people with a berry punch-related human story that's rated higher than mine, the great and illustrious PUSSPUSS! Get excited, because it's going to get weird.

GO HERE: https://www.twitch.tv/mikesnipe

The drinking word this week is gonna get ya all smashed! Join us, or enjoy your miserable lonely friday night alone.

-Pencil

With Enigmatic Otaco today.
Eeeeeeh.
Here
https://www.twitch.tv/mikesnipe

Come drink.

-Pencil

BRONYWRITER IS HERE!
NYAAAAAAAAGH!!!!
GO HERE!!!!!

https://www.twitch.tv/mikesnipe

HOCKEY IS BACK BY THE WAY.
I AM RUNNING OUT BOOZE.

-Pencil

You know the drill.
Go here:
https://www.twitch.tv/mikesnipe
Get drunk.
Have fun.
Ask questions.
Re-evaluate your life choices.

-Pencil

"Longest running, most popular, best, most awesome radio show, but whatever." -K!LLSCREEN, of PonyvilleFM

That's what we've got on today. Come drink. We'll do screaming closet and maybe some drunk readings after. Join us at 4PM PST, in about half an hour.
Get drunk bitches.

GO HERE https://www.twitch.tv/mikesnipe
Ask questions in the Barcast (JOIN IT): https://www.fimfiction.net/group/212308/the-barcast

-Pencil

Fuck the space button, those names don't need that! Come drink with us, let's have fun, etc.
WATCH IT HERE: https://www.twitch.tv/mikesnipe
ASK QUESTIONS AND ENTER WRITING CONTEST HERE: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/212308/the-barcast
I'm ready for this shit. It's going to be quite the fun shitshow.
-Pencil

Yes. Seth. As in "Go To Bed, Seth!"
We're gonna ask him questions in about 1/2 hour... It's gonna get weird.
COME WATCH HERE AND DRINK BECAUSE WHY NOT!
https://www.twitch.tv/mikesnipe

See you there. And yes. We WILL tell him to go to bed.

-Pencil

Google allows, what appears to be, a self-hating leftist freak to design their AI.

When their AI responds like a self-hating leftist freak?

Google: [Surprised Pikachu Face]

It's going to be fun and whiskey-filled. Today we have naturalbornderpy, who I suspect will totally own this shit. And tolerate us. As best he can.

Come here:
http://www.fimfiction.net/user/naturalbornderpy

Party, enjoy friday, drink, and be merry.

-Pencil

Hey all. So, for babscon, we didn't get to answer NEARLY as many questions as we wanted to, due to time and content restraints. SO, we're making up for it today. We'll be having a podcast at 6PM PST, where we talk about babscon, answer the leftover questions, and be all friendly and stuff. We also have photos to show you, which is nice, and you'll get to see us being assholes to each other. Lots of good enigma abuse, be assured.

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