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In chapter 12 of my Twinkle Shine story, Twinkle makes amends with Cozy Glow, the monster who haunts her dreams... Since then, I've noticed a distinct change in my thinking and how I view things... All the pain from the past no longer really hurts when I dwell on it because I feel like I've learned to accept and live with it now... What's done is done and nothing could ever change that... I can, however, control how I view it and what story I tell myself. In that way, I can

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Massage stories are quite prevalent as a person that actually works with techniques i figured i could provide descriptions. Pegasi have me completely confused however.... the way their muscles would work and the treatments they would need (especially the wonderbolts) to keep them in top shape. obviously the wings themselves would be sensitive but in the excerpt below from the story "The Discovery" i haven't quite figured it out. Unicorns would most likely want their "poles" rubbed (see

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Scootaloo’s ghost represents the old me and she carries the guilt and shame of Apple Bloom’s (my mother’s) death in the form of the chicken costume she’s currently doomed to wear. Jessi Trotsky represents the new me and that’s why it’s important that she be a filly. She’s very bright and sensitive and has a lot of love to give to the world, but she has no idea how to go about that… She’s very quirky and witty, but she doesn’t like or trust most ponies. She’s a green unicorn filly

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The truth is, I don't actually believe in love. Maybe I'm too cynical, but I really don't believe anyone is out there for me, I don't believe anyone truly cares about me and wants to make me happy, and I'm pretty sure that I'll die alone at this point... But the truth is, I'd rather not think that way. I want to believe in love and romance again, but I just don't! I write about these ponies that slowly become enamored with one another, and I can't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, there's

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So in my story, Chrysalis is "the changeling." She changes shape to whatever she thinks wants to be seen. She does this to hide her true identity so she can feed on love. This is an interesting allegory for how I felt for a very long time. The assumption is that I need love right? Well, what if I could only get that by pretending to be something else? That's the way I felt for a long time... Like, nobody would accept the real me and so I needed to pretend to be "male" or whatever... I was

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I'm a bit nervous, but I know that I got this. I wholeheartedly hope that there will be no interruption or cutoff of internet connection. 🙏🏻

Hi, chaps and chapettes,

Hope you are all doing well and staying safe in these crazy times. It has not been a fun year, and next year may be equally as uncertain, but look at the end of this one as an opportunity to close the book and start another. I plan on trying to make the best of these last two months and feel as though I did something productive with 2020 as much as possible.

I figured I would write to you all to update you on where I am currently.

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Honestly, becoming a brony not only saved my life, but it opened up a whole new world to me. A world of imagination and stories. A world of colors and art and music. And through my writing, I've come to realize that I'm attacking my own demons, one at a time. Trixie Interviews got me over the death of my parents. Gabriela at least addressed some of my initial concerns about life, love, and the world at large. Twinkle Shine showed me how to deal with my past, by simply accepting it for what it

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I guess I'll recap on all this wonderful project has done for me now? Seems appropriate since I'm pretty much done and the rest is up to my editor huh? I know how it ends now, but you'll need to wait for that... But after the fact, I wonder where I am now? Well, Trixie Interviews showed me that I not only have a talent for writing as I get better and better, but I actually enjoy doing it! Through ponies, this adorable little best filly specifically, I realized that I actually enjoy telling

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I had EMDR treatment yesterday, which was basically where I did guided meditation while holding two vibrating devices. I know. That sounds really weird. The therapist said it was an exercise to trigger something hidden in my brain so that we could find the stuff that keeps me from functioning like a well-adjusted adult. She said that the side effects could include heightened awareness, increase in mood,

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Well I've been brainstorming and I think I know where I want this to ultimately end up. As a manipulator, Cozy Glow would actually make a wonderful counselor and I think Trixie also sees this. Like she said in one of the previous chapters, "Getting people to think and look at things a certain way in my profession is very useful." I'm thinking that should be the end goal at this point.

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I've just gotten some of the worst news ever. I'm moving. Again. This time to the one place I hate more than any other: Colorado. I will most likely be gone at the end of this month. And so as of now everything is back on Hiatus. I don't know when I'll be back.

I'm going to need a lot of therapy in the coming days.

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So, you might be wondering why I'd write a lesbian three-way romance story? Well, truth be told, long ago, before my transition, I was involved in a three-way relationship. And while said relationship failed miserably, I also don't believe that was my fault. I wanted to explore the concept of polyamory a bit more thoroughly in a safe environment and so, that's what I did! Once again, the answer is similar to what I found out when I explored the idea of love and romance again. And that answer

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It's called "living in your head rent-free" which means, according to TheFreeDictionary, "Of a person, to be a source of antipathy or exasperation to one to the extent of becoming a frequent or continual subject of one's agitated thoughts. The term indicates that such a person is able to negatively impact one without any repercussions (with the implication that one should not allow such a person to have such an effect on them)".

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First of all I'd like to thank Estee, some of her notes regarding her latest piece (Monster Girl In Equestria) really helped me gain a more critical eye over my own work. I certainly re-evaluated scenes and cut what felt like cliché content, some of which( in hindsight) just wouldn't have made sense with where this is going and what I want it to be.

Now, this chapter.

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I mentioned in my last post that this latest chapter (session 1.25) has been a pain to write. It has. Ignoring irl issues of course (heat, work, fatigue, illness) I've been grafting at the laptop to define the uncertainty in Calmys heart whilst also expanding on his outside life. In some ways, it's hard for me to imagine Calmy (cool, mostly confident, often in control) outside of his office. Even his home is fairly sterile, justifiably and with possible explanation in the future. Still, writing

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