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Dec
27th
2015

SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER! The Cynical Brony: Episode 23: "How Sorcerer Destroyed, Obliterated, And Outright Rekt Hearth's Warming Eve" · 4:08pm Dec 27th, 2015

How The Sorcerer Destroyed, Obliterated and Outright Rekt Hearth's Warming Eve


By


Sorcerer M Crainius


And


The Cynical Brony

------------------


Once upon a time, a long time ago


There was a village completely covered in snow


Now this isn't actually the subject. FOOLED YOU.


It was about a town in present time with ponies there too


Everypony down in Ponyville liked Hearth's Warming Eve a lot.

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Jan
29th
2015

The Cynical Brony: Episode 16: "Hearts and Hooves Day Review" · 7:50pm Jan 29th, 2015

Hello, I'm The Cynical Brony, and I review it so you don't have to! Welcome back, my friends, to Applejackuary! Yes, I'm aware that episode 16 got deleted or didn't upload properly or something, but the reviews are more important than the editorials. Anyway, Hearts and Hooves Day! Oh God, it's a Valentine's day special, isn't it? Prepare yourselves for annoying romances that probably won't work out! Then again, there's a higher chance of a romance working out than an episode of my show

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Nov
17th
2014

The Cynical Brony: Episode 12: "The Top 10 Mistakes of The Cynical Brony" · 11:41pm Nov 17th, 2014

[Note: In between each number, I recommend you play the embedded clip for a full effect.]
Hello, I'm The Cynical Brony, and I review it so you don't have to! So, some of you might notice a pattern: every fourth episode is an editorial. As such, I've been thinking back to my episodes and found that I may have found a few mistakes...
MORE LIKE 29!
Shut up. Anyways, welcome to the Top 10 Mistakes of yours truly.

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Nov
1st
2015

The Cynical Brony: Episode 22: Tales From The Critics! · 8:51pm Nov 1st, 2015

A Non-Tim Burton Picture


The Cynical Brony Presents


SORCERERJUICE

The Monsters

(A lighter illuminates the darkness)

???: We unleashed something terrible on October 31st, 2015: A demon

(The light grows brighter, revealing Earth)

???: The demon took hold of one Sorcerer M. Crainus, an old friend and rival of mine.

(Light grows so large that it engulfs the miniature Earth)

???: Through three trials, I would work to remove those demons. These areā€¦

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Feb
22nd
2015

The Cynical Brony: Episode 17: "The Last Roundup Review" · 8:56pm Feb 22nd, 2015

Hello, I'm The Cynical Brony, and I review it so you don't have to!
...
...
...
... It's been a while, hasn't it? Anyways, today I'm going to be reviewing one of the most controversial episodes of the entire show. Not for its story, or its message, mind you. It's controversial for one single scene... let's review The Last Roundup.
***

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Apr
15th
2015

The Cynical Brony/Sorcerer's Fan Fic Theater 400 Crossover! · 12:03am Apr 15th, 2015

Joke Theme Song:


In the not to distant future, in XXXX A.D

There was a guy named Cynical,

Rather different than you or me!

He worked for a bunch of Mafias,

But no-one really cared because

He did a good job f*cking up the place

but no-one really liked him so they shot him into space!

(You bastards!)

Luna: We send him crappy fan fics-

Celestia: The worst we can find! Lalala!

He'll have to sit and read them all

as we monitor his mind!

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Dec
14th
2014

The Cynical Brony: Episode 14: "Read it and Weep Review" Edited 6/3/15! · 8:49pm Dec 14th, 2014

[Note: The blue lines are Dash's.]

Ah, back again! Hey Derpy, where are you? Derpy? Huh. Well, she'll be back. In any case, I managed to get Dash. It's surprising how easy pegasi are to knock out. Hey, Dash!
...huh? How'd I get here...?
The defense has spoken! She has nothing to say, and so we can proceed to sentencing!

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Dec
31st
2016

Best Games Of 2016 · 3:50pm Dec 31st, 2016

2016's been a bit of a downer year. My grandfather died after a truck slammed into him on a bike, a dog named Taco that I raised from birth also got hit by a truck, and lastly, one of my other dogs, Greta, had to be put down because of organ failure. Plus countless celebrities died, what is quite possibly the most toxic presidential election in history happened, and in general, a lot of bullshit happened this year. But despite me just making a paragraph saying why the year wasn't good,

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Oct
14th
2014

The Cynical Brony: Episode 3: "Party of One Review" · 12:28am Oct 14th, 2014

Hello, I'm The Cynical Brony, and before I get started with the review, I have a story to tell. One day, a new, some-what talented comedian tried to make a review of an episode of a show that he really liked. He couldn't, however, because the whole God damn universe refused to let it happen! First, it had his German Shepard start barking and that sent his mouse flying, accidently clicking the close tab button on FiM Fiction. The next time he tried, his computer, whenever he tried to

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Mar
1st
2015

The Cynical Brony: Episode 18: "Over A Barrel Review" · 5:07am Mar 1st, 2015

(Quick note here, please let me know if you find any spelling errors.)

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Oct
10th
2014

The Cynical Brony- Pilot Episode- "Return of Harmony Review" · 2:53am Oct 10th, 2014

Hello, I'm The Cynical Brony, and I review it so you don't have to! Today, I'd like to talk about arguably the most famous episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic... The Return of Harmony. Being one of the shows darker episodes, I feel it's my duty as a completely insane Brony to highlight all it's pros and cons. Let's begin, shall we?

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Apr
4th
2015

The Cynical Brony: Episode 19: "Short Stories Special!" (Part 1/4) · 7:36pm Apr 4th, 2015

Hello, I'm The Cynical Brony, and I review it so you don't have to! Have you ever been in the middle of an episode of a T.V show or movie, and no-matter how good the movie is, you just want something a little shorter? I certainly have! Just last week-
Month.
Thanks. Just last- wait, what the Hell are you doing here?
Making sure you don't burn down a building.

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Oct
7th
2016

The Cynical Brony: Episode 23 TEASER! · 6:54pm Oct 7th, 2016

Hello, I'm The Cynical Brony, and I review it so you don't have to! It's been ANOTHER while, hasn't it? Well, fuck waiting a year for an episode, you get one four months later! So, leaks. Some people like them. Some people hate them. Some people ask why we can't drone someone in the middle of London for leaking things. Regardless of your thoughts on them, they're a thing that happen, and I use them. Why? Because I be the dread pirate Cynic.

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Sep
16th
2017

Cynical Quickie: Dishonored Death Of The Outsider · 7:58pm Sep 16th, 2017

Like the title? It's something new I'm experimenting with for short reviews. Also, holy shit, Cynical's actually publishing another review, it must be the end times. This will have spoilers below the break.

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Jan
9th
2015

The Cynical Brony: Episode 15: "Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 Review" · 2:15am Jan 9th, 2015

[Note: This is the first episode post-reboot! Read this blog for further details.]
Hello, I'm The Cynical Brony and... wait, what? Something seems off. Derpy? Does anything feel different to you?
NO, BUT I THINK YOU NEED TO DO ANOTHER REVIEW. IT'S BEEN A YEAR!
A year?! Oh wait, new years was last week. Nice one. Dash?

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Jun
23rd
2016

The Cynical Brony: Episode 22: "Dragon Quest Review" · 5:35pm Jun 23rd, 2016

Hello, I'm The Cynical Brony, and I review it so you don't have to!
...
...
. . .
It's been a while, hasn't it?
Yeah... I won't go into it, but a lot of shit happened that put me out of my reviewing groove. However, all that's now behind me, so let's begin again with Dragonquest! Why? Because I want to make Skyrim jokes while Skyrim Remastered is still relevant. :applejackunsure:


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Jan
1st
2016

The Cynical Brony Shorts: Cynical's New Year · 6:11pm Jan 1st, 2016

*pan into Cynical's office, a clock reading 5 AM*

Cynical: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey, guys! My glass is *hic* empty again, so bring out the guns! I'm robbin the bar!
Raging Seas: Um, no. Mistah Cynical, you're very, VERY drunk. More so than usual. C'mon, follow me.
Cynical: Nooooooooooo... what was I saying? Anyways, I'm *hic* still getting some booze, and nobody, not even you Mr. Lorax, can stop me!

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Nov
15th
2014

The Cynical Brony: Episode 2 REVISED Edition: "Crystal Empire Review" · 4:11am Nov 15th, 2014

Hello, I'm The Cynical Brony, and I review it so you don't have to! Enjoy that opening while it lasts, I'm expecting the Nostalgia Critic to sue me... anyways! Season 3! Not a lot of people liked it. In fact, this season made 50% of Bronies do this:

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Oct
26th
2014

The Cynical Brony: Episode 7: "The Twilight Sparkle Zone: Episodes 1-4 Review" · 2:16am Oct 26th, 2014

Hello, I'm The Cynical Brony, and I review it so you don't have to! After Cupcakes and Rainbow Factory, I want to review a good fan-made horror story. So, The Twilight Sparkle Zone. Before I start the actual review, since this story is a crossover, I have to give my opinions on the source material. As most of you probably guessed, this story is a crossover with the famous TV show, "The Twilight Zone", a show I really like. The original 60's version, at least. The episodes would go

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Oct
15th
2014

The Cynical Brony: Episode 4: Rainbow Dash Tribute · 1:57am Oct 15th, 2014

Hello, I'm The Cynical Brony, and I review it so you don't have to! Dash is my favorite character in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Yes, I've always had a personal connection with Dash. The reason I bring this up? Recently, I've seen a lot of Dash haters. And I mean a lot. So, I want to bring my counter arguments to the table. Okay, and two other reasons: 1. She's going to die a horrible death in Cupcakes, my next review, so I want to pay tribute before my view of the show and her

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Viewing 1 - 20 of 30 results
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