Pharynx: Oh no. It’s dark and there are two armed creature lurking within.

Pharynx, flicking on the light switch: Whatever will I do?

Thorax, getting a minimum of 8 hours of sleep each night: I am so awake and ready for the day, the sun is beautiful and I’m so happy to be alive!

Pharynx: I’ve had 30 minutes of sleep over the past five days and now I can smell sounds please kill me.

Gallus: I hope the light at the at end of tunnel is a train.

Cozy Glow: I’d snap your neck.

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Pharynx: *is kidnapped by Generic Villan #1*

GV#1: I have him! Try anything, and he gets it!

Thorax: Don’t kill him!

GV#1: I won’t do anything as long as I get was I want-

Thorax: No, not you. Pharynx, do not kill him!

Gv#1: w...what?

Rainbow: Twilight, give me your hairdryer!

Twilight: My what?

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Pharynx: I’d like to apologize to anyone who I haven’t offended yet.

Pharynx: Please be patient, I’ll get to you shortly.

Tempest: All the haters are like “aren’t you wanted by the state?”

Tempest: And it’s like, I’m wanted by loads of people, okay? That’s the price of being bad*ss.

Tempest: Anyways, I did commit a smidge of treason-

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Cozy: *giggles cutely*

Cozy: I’m going to snap!

Luna: hahaha....ha...hahaha...

Celestia:...is this a good laugh or a bad laugh?

Luna: hahaha...AHAHAHAHAhahaha...

Celestia: The longer this goes on, the more I think this is a bad laugh.

Starlight: The school staff doesn’t play favorites!

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Girl: Who would find Thorax cute? I mean, what even is that body type, ahahahaha.

Thorax, smiling: I may be built like a crush cardboard box but at least I don’t legally identity as a piece of plastic.

Spike: What time is it?

Thorax: I don’t know, pass me the saxophone, then I’ll know.

Thorax: *blows into the saxophone really loudly*

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Cozy: I have an idea!

Tirek: No stabbing.

Cozy: I no longer have an idea.

Thorax: How could anyone say Pharynx is evil? He the most precious changeling I’ve ever met!

Pharynx, covered in blood: Yeah, I’m adorable!

Discord: *Falls down the stairs*

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Fancy Pants: *holds door open for Rarity* After you.

Rarity: No, after you.

Fancy Pants: I insist, after you-

Fleur de Lis. *pushing past both of them* After me.

Twilight: This is stupid!

Rainbow: What isn’t at this point?

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Thorax: Wanna play a game?

Fluttershy: Sure, what’s the game.

Thorax: It’s called “Thorax or Steve.” I’ll tell you recent things Pharynx has said, and you have to guess if he said it to me or his pet centipede.

Fluttershy: Okay, shouldn’t be too hard-

Thorax: Number one—“I would die for you.”

Fluttershy:...I stand corrected.

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Rainbow Dash: Don’t buy a car. But a gun! You can get a car with a gun.

Sunset Shimmer: No-

Pharynx: See? This is exactly the type of social situation I’m not comfortable with!

Thorax: What kind of social situation are you comfortable with?

Sweetie Belle: Anything ending in ‘ie’ is cute! Like ‘sweetie’ and ‘cutie’ and-

Scootaloo: DIE.

Pharynx: When I die, I want Thorax to lower me into my grave so he can let me down one final time.

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Twilight: Jellyfish have survived for six thousand years with no brain.

Twilight: So there is still hope for Rainbow.

Gallus: You people always talk e-boy this and e-girl that, but no one ever talks about the e-conomy.

Oclleus:...

Gallus: Capitalism is a fundamentally flawed system.

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Anyone: Pharynx, why won’t you let me hug you?

Anyone: Is it because I might hug you too hard?

Pharynx: No.

Pharynx: It is because I do not like you.

Cadence: Bye! Don’t forget to eat the lunch I packed for you!

Shining: Don’t talk to strangers.

Spike: If anything happens, send a message and we’ll come pick you up.

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Twilight: If I was looking into having a partner, they’d have to be graceful, intelligent-

Rainbow: I don’t care. *jumps off a cliff but miss judges the jutting edges and falls onto every single on of them as she tumbles*

Twilight:

Twilight:...I want that one.

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Cheerliee: Anyone d-

Sweetie: Depressed?

Apple Bloom: Drained?

Scootaloo: Dumb?

Diamond: Disliked?

Cheerliee:-done with their work...

Rainbow: What’s it called when you have bisexual hands?

Sunset: You mean...ambidextrous...?

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Pharynx: So I stopped a murder earlier today.

Thorax: Really? How?

Pharynx: Self-restraint.

Rainbow: I wasn’t that drunk last night.

Applejack: You were flirting with Twilight.

Rainbow: So? She’s my girlfriend.

Applejack: Yea, but you asked if she was single.

Applejack: and then cried when she said she wasn’t.

Thorax: Who think they can fight me and win?

Pharynx: Everyone.

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Cheerliee: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Apple Bloom: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Sweetie: I was personally created in a lab.

Scootaloo: I was straight up spawned.

Rainbow: Do you ever type 1 +2 into your calculator just to make sure it still equals 3?

Sunset: I want to say no, but the answer is yes.

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Trixie: I am a firm believer in “if you’re going to fail, fail spectacularly.”

Thorax: Question. When they shot Bambi’s mom, did you feel sad at all?

Pharynx: I’m sure her head is mounted on a nice wall somewhere.

Chrysalis: I feel like I have died and gone to heaven.

Tirek: I have the same dream, except you went the other way.

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Thorax: Pharynx, how hard are bones?

Pharynx, grabbing a mace: I don’t know, let’s find out!

Chrysalis: *screaming*

Sunburst: Can you pass the salt?

Starlight: I would, but I don’t think Trixie appreciates being picked up like that.

Thorax: How did ponies know the time before clocks were invented?

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