Hey fimfiction fam. You've probably noticed my lack of activity or stories lately. Sorry about that. It's been really hard adjusting to being back home after the best trip ever. I'm essentially crashing from the high and have been for the past week or so, so even little things have been really overwhelming. I wanted to just vent about this a while, so If you aren't into bitching, don't read on.
UPDATE: Situation still sucks, but we have some sort of a plan of attack now. We did realize a couple of new financial issues, but we've got a solution for them. Hopefully things'll work out soon enough...
Hey out there in internet land. Short time, no see.
Sorry to those of you who have been messaging me with commissions and stuff If I've seemed scattered. Rough week doesn't even begin to describe this week.
Man, this last May has been the worst month in recent memory. From the first week to the last, it has been utter trash. Just one thing after another. And now, as the month closes, I think I'm just drunk enough to pour my problems out here. I don't expect anyone to care, nor do I see any reason for you to. I just feel like saying it to somebody. So if you don't mind hearing this burned-out hasbeen's problems, have a seat. It shouldn't take too long.
This IS a vent so if you read it and bitch in the comments about this I will laugh humorlessly at it.
Okay, so before everyone freaks out, I am writing this as a kind of stream of consciousness, like a journal, and I need to get shit out of my brain. I do have a private one next to my bed, but I wanted to try something out. Maybe help some people understand why I am taking so FUCKING long to write. Don't be alarmed if this goes down "the rabbit hole."
Hello, everyone~
Some of you may know me already. My name is Spyder27 and I primarily write Sundagio fanfiction. For almost a year now, I've been writing fanfiction, primarily focusing on one story line. This story line starts with A Dazzling World and the stories connected to it have usually gotten more views, likes, comments, etc. So, I wanted to make a post to clarify what this series is, where it's going, and why I'm so committed to it.
After the admin let off some steam about their ableist manager on the venting channel, I sympathized with them, expressed my distaste towards ableists, and claimed that their manager is a Karen.
The admin told me not to make assumptions about people I don't know and claimed that their manager is nice but doesn't think clearly. Later, they kicked me out of the server.
Hola, Fimfiction. Short time, no see.
wednesday has become a cursed day again
this bitch going to hell in 3 hours :'D
I probably have mentioned it before, and it is a topic I purposely avoid for certain reasons, but I do have dreams. Not the kind I'd like, but ones that either rub me the wrong way or they rattle an emotion deep inside of me that I try to block out. These dreams aren't nightmares, full of scary things that'll make anybody scream and want to hide in their sheets, but rather the opposite. They stir up strong anxiety instead of true fear.
I never want to interact with a harsh, arrogant, hostile, impatient, and unforgiving individual ever again. I don't care if they make great NSFW fan art. All I did was sympathize with their situation, apologize, and be polite, but they reacted unpleasantly, turning the conversation into a nightmare which severely affected my mental health. In retaliation for kicking me out of their server, I blocked them on Discord, Twitter, and Tumblr. I feel like I want to quit Discord for the 2nd time. Or at
I guess anger is like other feelings. It's not about having them, it's what you do with them. - Autumn Blaze
This episode got very special to me, a gift in times where I need it most.
It contains two very important lessons:
Getting angry and letting out your anger in controlled ways is not wrong.
and
You can only have positive feelings if you have negative feelings as well.
So, first, sorry that this isn't about writing. I know that many here wait for updates on my stories and some recent events make it increasingly difficult to get back into a proper writing schedule, but these updates will come as I am slowly getting things back in order. For now, I need to speak about a few things and say a few things that are important for me to say and, frankly, have always been important to say.
Well, once again, I entered a writing contest, and would you look at that? Not one single mention of my story. I don't know why, it might be because it was rated Teen when most of the others were Mature. Maybe I'm not as good of a writer as I thought I was. Or maybe I shouldn't even bother writing stories for contests.
Got to 3400 words for next chapter. Would have written more if my night didn't turn into a mess.
This year was supposed to be a big comeback year for me as a pony author, after the last two thirds of 2017 were mostly a disaster and 2018 and 2019 were overall very disorganized messes for my writing, because of the event from the beginning of 2017 (which I still can't tell you details about, sorry for being vague) and the huge aftermath of that event that left me in a mentally compromised state of existing, all of which affected my writing output and also my writing skill. Now, as the year
tw: self hate, anxiety, nightmares, mild suicidal thoughts
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