My Mom and I Went On An Adventure

Yesterday after watching the eclipse, my mom and I went to a bunch of shopping centers and looked around the various stores.

We found this neat costume store while looking at a bunch of stores in a particular shopping center and we tried on a bunch of costumes.

Here are some pictures of us being weirdos like usual. :P

(By the way, I gained some weight over the summer. I'm walking every day to take off the weight. So don't judge meh. <_<)

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Yesterday I was drinking some Arizona tea. When I took the third sip, some brown goopy stuff slid into my mouth and I swallowed it. I ended up dumping out the rest of the contents of the can into the sink and all of this brown goopy stuff the consistency of snot came pouring out of the can.

I immediately rinsed my mouth out like a million times. I couldn't do anything about the stuff I swallowed though. :L

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Do you ever walk outside and wonder how many animals, humans, or other creatures have pooped or peed in the environment around you? Or how much bodily fluids like boogers and whatnot are stuck to the ground?

I just imagine this huge layer of poop, boogers, blood, puss, earwax, vomit, piss, and so on, on top of everything; parking lot surfaces, cars, playground equipment, buildings; you name it, it probably has the most disgusting things you can think of stuck to it.

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One time when I went grocery shopping at Walmart, I started to get this weird feeling like something was slipping down from my waist. It took me a minute to realize that my underwear was starting to slide down by back side, slowly but surely. Like it was meticulously plotting its revenge for all of the times I stuck it in the dryer without the cottony dryer sheet, to save money by conserving the amount I used weekly. Oh it would have its revenge for not being extra fluffy like the towels that

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What I Saw At The Store

A few months ago I saw a man in his mid forties pick his nose and wipe is boogers 'discreetly' on the dress of a middle-aged women in front of him.

The woman didn't notice at all. Which means that later she is going to find a very gooey surprise on her dress.

He must have had lots of practice. Which is disturbing to think about.

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I'm A Professional Dumpster Diver

Yep, you heard that right. I now dig in random dumpsters to earn a living. :')

Don't judge me. <_<

I've already found fishing poles, tons of antique furniture, aquariums, DVD players, Direct TV boxes, desktop computers, laptops, jewelry making kits, craft supplies. PlayStation consuls, MP3 players, craft scissors, jewelry, money, and more!

I estimate that I've found about $100.00 in cash/ change the last month I have been dumpster diving.

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Hanging Out With Real Life Vampires, Werewolves, and Magic Users (Lifestyle)

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I used to work at this pizza place while I was going through university. The bosses I originally had when I first started working there (I later found out) were married first cousins. As in the children of the aunt/ uncle on both sides getting married. I thought it was a little strange (I couldn't picture myself marrying any of my first cousins, or the children of my uncles or aunts) but they seemed happy so I didn't really question things.

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I Don't Miss Watching Television Or Watching The News

I've been television free for about ten years now. I found other ways to entertain myself such as reading books (I know shocking right?), watching stuff on YouTube, hanging out on various websites, and spending a lot of time outdoors.

But it seems like the more I try to give the middle finger to television programs and the news, they always manage to pop up somewhere else in my social media feeds and whatnot.

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My Favorite Cartoons Aimed At A Younger Audience

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Today I am going to tell you a true funny story that happened one day when I took a small day trip up to the Grand Canyon.

At some point during my visit to the iconic national park, I was just chilling on a park bench when this squirrel comes up to me and starts speaking in some kind of squirrel language I suppose.

So I say, 'Oh hello little squirrel have you come to say hello?'

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English Is A Tough Language

English is kind of complicated. I often revert to speaking French, Korean, Chinese, or Japanese (or a combination of all of these at once) because they make more sense. :P

Reasons English is a weird language:

1. There are a bunch of variations of a word that are pronounced the same, but they are spelled different and mean different things.

Such as to, too, two. There, there, their. Where, wear. Tare, Tear. Bare, Bear. So on and so forth.

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One of those desperate girls who want you to see them strip or something on webcam sent me a spam e-mail and was like, "Hey Baby. Want to bang? Here's the link to my private messenger if you want to hit me up."

And I so I did what every sensible person would do and clicked the link to the messenger.

When I was in the messenger thing I said, "Listen, Candy (that was her name). Banging hurts a lot. I just stubbed my toe last week. You can understand why I am not interested."

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Hello everyone. Happy Holidays.
This year has been a strange one with many unusual trials and tribulations. While in some ways I'm glad it's over and that hope is in sight, believe it or not, I don't think year has been all bad.
Not just for me at any rate. And certainly not the worst year in history many have been saying it is.

I do feel that too much negativity can damage a society at large and negativity seems all too common.

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Some days, I just sit down and go through a bunch of stories from the Royal Guard queue in the hopes of finding something to approve for our next post, often reading many stories I would never have read otherwise, or something I have put off reading for a long time, in hopes of finding a gem. Wednesday was one of those days.

Today’s stories:

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Okay, I think it’s finally time to put this thing to bed (Preferably one in the Oliver Twist workhouse!).

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