...off right now. I'm already a day (technically two) late in revealing the winning name for Sunny Bunny's "bun in the oven". So I get the video made and what the <censored> happens? The <censored> internet provider decides to do maintenance. Now when the service originally went down, they said "it'll be back up and running by 3:00". Fair enough. Well, 3:30 rolls around, all the lights on the modem that are supposed to be lit were lit up. So I figured they were done and began uploading.

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Today my mom dropped the bomb that I was circumcised as a baby. My entire life I thought they were suppose to look like that but turns out... guess I don't watch enough gay porn.

(Zooms in on the cake between Cadance and Shining Armor)

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The redoubtable CoffeeMinion actually went and did it!

I knew what he was doing! I told him to stop, but He. Didn't. Listen!

[youtube=cQm2GUBJKuA]

After Shepherd had managed to recover from his fainting spell, he began hugging Twilight tightly.

Shepherd: "I'm-We're-We're gonna be-We're pregnant!"

Twilight: "Y-yes! Yes we are!"

Shepherd: "Holy crap! Holy... Wow... We're... How?!"

Dash: "Don't you two know how sex works? Sheesh!"

Shepherd: "I didn't mean that! I meant-How do our genetics work?!"

Twilight: "Well, um... I'm still working on that. I did ask Princess Celestia."

Shepherd: "And?"

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Despite enormous creative set-backs, edge-of-your-seat deadlines, and various other issues, the first season of 'the Scarab Archives' has come to a successful close. While we're no runaway hit, we at Lazarus Entertainment and incredibly pleased with the 60 or so listeners we have on Spotify and recognize that everyone has to start somewhere.

For those who wish to follow, here's Episodes 5-10!

Episode 5: the Ukulele

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Hey, you! Yeah, you with the good story nobody reads!

Are you tired of putting your heart and soul into a story only to have it shunned by the masses? Are you sick of seeing all your stories go down into the depths of fimfiction, never to see the light of day? DO YOU WANT TO BE FRIGGIN' POPULAR!

I can't guarantee the last one, but if you answered yes to either of the first two questions, than look no further! I'm here to help.

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I have great news for everypony. I have beaten back the evil of writer's block and have gotten back into the habit of writing once more. So with that said, I am currently working on chapter six of "I'm Not A Mare". And I have an idea and plan for chapter seven. I hope everypony is excited as I am for the next update. If you want to check out my non-mlp stories, please check out Sarah the Squirrel.

Critter-sit? Sitting on critters? Are you sure you want to do that?
So, they're like pets? The crab and the birds are almost more capable than Hitch and can probably take care of themselves. The others seemed to be doing fine without having owners. So, why are they all sad like?
They're only dangerous if they have access to knives.

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Re-posting this blog because I'm a stoop and forgot to actually LINK you to the damn blog.

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A British Gentleman has set up a contest with an interesting premise: he wants to fill in the gaps in Fimfiction's genres, the things people don't usually write much of. The first one is:

First or second person HiE, with a FEMALE point of view character.

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I AM SO FREAKING READY! YES! YES! GOD DAMN IT YES! I AM HYPED FOR THIS MOVIE!

DEADPOOL! TEACH ME HOW TO BE WITTY AND INSANE! AH HA HA HA!

Ahem...

Yes, I am EXCITED for this MOVIE! Can you NOT TELL by the EXCESSIVE amount of CAPITALIZED letterings I AM using in my BLOG?

So, sorry for the lack of updates tot he story or my blog. I finished up the rough draft of Ch.7 several weeks ago, but Holyme has run into more family issues. But 7 does exist! I am working on Ch.8 and this one will be a beast. I may need to ask for some more help editing to get them out to your guys soon, I really wanted to get another chapter out this year.

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This is exactly what it looks like.

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Hello everyone; fans and friends from the past and those who I’ve yet to meet. It has been a long time coming, but after a two-year hiatus, I’m back. Triumphant return: begin!

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So originally I thought I would come home and provide an update for the next chapter of Ask Roseate Grimsbane (maybe tomorrow), however after some consideration, I think I'll just talk a bit about Grandmipony to you all. Partially because I also want to organize my thoughts for the words I'm going to say at her memorial in two days.

So here goes.

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Hi Switchers, Touchers, Scoundrels,

There’s another wholesome, sweet and sad story that I’d like you all to take a look at. Syn’s story about a little foal with a dream and a janitor’s opportunity to grant it is a fantastic read, please take a look.

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My baby boy was born on the 4th, he's healthy, I'm tired, he's tired, my fiancee is tired. Honestly I truly have no idea when I'll have time to write again, I'm making this blog on one of the occasions that he's asleep and she's asleep. I'll try and write chapters during times like this but no guarantee, after all he's a newborn so he'll need attention. For a few days I'll be the one who's up until 5 in the morning and only be sleeping for 3 hours a day, but it's ok. I hope to get you all

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It's dumb.
But it makes me happy-ish.
Done for Fiaura and Doodle, who are cool ladies. <3

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/436185/the-telltale-heart

Enjoy, more stories coming soon, I am sure.

-pencil