What do you get when you cross a warship with a small dog?

A Yorkshire carrier!

I used to date a mermaid.

Until she gave me clamydia.

How do you get Winnie the Pooh out of an airplane?

With a bearachute.

So one time I went to this house with shag carpets so deep they were more like Shaq carpets.

What kind of bear doesn't eat anything but cheese?

A Camem Bear!

What does Goldie Delicious' house have in common with James Bond?

Pussy Galore.

"...and this is my wife Sharon."

☭

Welcome to Pun and Jokes – your laughter haven! We're all about spreading joy with hilarious puns and jokes that'll make your day brighter.

Our team's comedy wizards work tirelessly to craft rib-tickling content. From clever puns to hearty jokes, we've got your daily dose of laughter covered.

Whether it's a quick giggle or a side-splitting belly laugh you seek, Pun and Jokes is your go-to source for humor that's sure to tickle your funny bone.

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So, I was just watching youtube videos on my laggy internet earlier, when my dad calls me downstairs to help rearrange some shelves.

We ended up stacking like, 3 pieces of the shelf vertically.

He called it an upgrade.

Apple's really been going downhill since Steve died. Everyone's lost their JOBS.

I'm sorry. :P

This is somewhat a joke and a riddle at the same time, and it's kinda funny.

WHY DIDN'T THE MONSTER EAT THE CRAZY PERSON?

Beep beep bye mother fucker

ONE OF THESE DAYS SHE WILL KILL ME
I WILL DIE LAUGHING

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Two men walk into a bar... you'd think one of them would've seen it.

Also, and update on what's going on. Sunny, SciTwi and their family is on a temporary hold. I've got some other projects such as My Little Voyager, Spring Has Sprung, and one other story that I've been putting off for months that need my attention.

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Do you know what Rapunzels favorite song is?
Let your hair down!

Why does Peter Pan avoid the airport?
Cause he's from Neverland!

What did the ocean say to Ariel after she became human?
NOTHING! It just Waved goodbye!

Why is Cinderella terrible at soccer?
Cause she's always running from The Ball!

Where there is uncertainty, I shall bring light
Where there is doubt, I shall sow faith
Where there is shame, I shall point atonement
Where there is rage, I shall show its course
My word in the soul shall be as my bolter in the field.

DUES VULT!!

What's the deal with them?

I don'k know, but they're pretty BAAAA-d ass.

:)

What would King Carl XVI Gustav of Sweden call the center-piece of his collection, were he a gamer?

The royal Wii.

...

[Spontaneous rain of rotten tomatoes.]

I regret nothing~!

Please correct me if I'm wrong (I probably am, because people should be doing this already if I'm correct), but I'm pretty sure humans can manipulate the weather too.

Step 1. Research wind systems and cycles in the area you want to make it rain in.
Step 2. Extract literal truckloads of water from your closest large body of water, preferably the ocean.

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