Twilight: "Hello Shepherd! What's that smell?"

Shepherd: "Well, given you need more calories as an alicorn, I thought I'd whip you up some Earth foods packed with energy!"

Twilight: "Oh, that is so sweet-What did you make?"

Shepherd: "A full Mexican platter! Tamales, tacos, and-"

Twilight: "QUESADILLAS?!"

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Shepherd is in Twilight's lab again...

Shepherd: "Do we have to keep doing this, Twilight?"

Twilight: "You are literally the only human I have! The only human on this entire planet! You evolved in an ecosystem without any magic! You are completely unique!"

Shepherd: "Says the magic alicorn."

Twilight: "Well, that's not very unique on this planet! You are! So we need to examine you as you continue to adapt to our environment!"

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Hey everybody. Today has... not been a good day today. But I'm not here to talk about the nonsense life has thrown at me right now.

This is a little different, but I actually wanted to post a blog talking about something I like, that being the Hand of Fate game series. My reasons for writing this are also topical, but I'll get to that bit of news later.

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Judging for the Soft Hands Inaugural Fanfiction Writing Contest is still underway, but as I spent all day reading entries, I'm free to put up my reviews, as promised to all the entrants! (Except myself, of course.)

A few disclaimers:

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I've always wanted to hold a writing contest. Dear god, why is this the first one?

What is "Soft Hands"?

Soft hands is an inside joke from the Seattle's Angels chat that I am led to believe is my fault. I blame Syeekoh anyway. But there's a group now, and to mark its opening, we are holding a contest, open to anyone on the site! The rules are as follows.

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So I'm not really much of a physical art guy, I'm more of a Photoshop guy and that's where I do all of my fanfic covers and graphics for my page. But I decided to give it a try again, and I haven't really done any hand drawn stuff for over two years now. Sure, some silly doodles, but this one I tried to make something good. It seemed that I have forgotten that pencils are the ultimate tool for hand drawing so you can erase, but I was so lazy I just picked up a pen and paper near me. Oh god.

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Chrysalis: "You know, you two could do things to help Shepherd recover faster."

Fluttershy: "Really? I've been trying many different therapies. Warm salt baths, hoof massages..."

Twilight: "And I've maximized his exercise routine and have been monitoring his diet!"

Chrysalis: "Yes, yes, all good things but a human male needs more than just these things. His psychology needs to be tended, too! You need to change things up! Keep him stimulated!"

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Fluttershy: "So, Shepherd, Twilight... This is Treehugger, my friend. Treehugger, this is Andrew Shepherd, my coltfriend, and Twilight Sparkle, my marefriend."

Treehugger: "Sup."

Twilight: "Hello!"

Shepherd: "Hey... You smell very, er... Herbaceous."

Treehugger: "Thanks. You say funny words. They flare in my aura very nicely."

Shepherd: "... Sure. So, what's up?"

Treehugger: "We're going to meditate and smell the incense."

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Shepherd, Sword of Equestria, and Twilight, Princess of Friendship, have been summoned to Canterlot for an important job...

Celestia: *Trotting along with Shepherd into the throne room* "You see, Luna and I need to go on an important diplomatic mission."

Luna: "Vitally important."

Celestia: "And we need someone to handle things in the meantime."

Shepherd: "Okay."

Twilight: "Absolutely, Princesses! You can count on me!"

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Read the blog to know how you can help.

Anonpencil and The Barcast need subscribers so they can get revenue to help put money toward a horse rescue team that they put all the revenue toward. They need at least 1k subs soon or they go bust.

Celestia: "Oh my! I finally have a letter from Shepherd! Let's see..."

Letter: "Dear Princess Celestia. Today I learned that while friendship can be complicated it is actually more resilient than I thought even between species and with patience we can reach out and realize that this letter is actually a distraction while I steal your cake sorry it was for a bet I lost this should be a long enough of a distraction for me to get away later!"

Celestia: "Wait wha-"

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Shepherd returns to his home, a great deal on his mind as he ponders the Princess's offer. His lusts aside, having a child is a big responsibility. Sure, he wants to be a father. He's always wanted to be a father.

But in a very real way, becoming a father here will mean that he's given up all hope of ever returning home to Earth. Because he couldn't just abandon his children or their mother. He'd choose them over ever going home to his planet.

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Shepherd went out with Pinkie Pie to hear one of Maud Pie's stand up routines. Pinkie was as excited as she ever was, practically bouncing up and down in her chair. Shepherd sat in the other chair, a bit cramped given it was built for a pony, but he tried to be as comfortable as possible.

Shepherd: "So, Maud's a stand up comic?"

Pinkie: "Oh yeah! She's hilarious! You'll love her!"

Shepherd: "Well, I'll give it a shot."

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Shepherd hums a bit as he gets up from bed. He walks into the bathroom, and examines his face. He then pulls out a toothbrush, some toothpaste and begins to brush his teeth.

Shepherd: "Hrr hrr... Hrrr..."

It feels... Strangely tingly. He leans in to look at his teeth... And sees tiny, mite-like creatures skittering all over his pearly whites.

Outside...

Shepherd: "GYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

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Shepherd is taking in the sights of Manehattan, looking around the park. He buys a hotdogs, tries it... And then begins choking as his face turns red..

Shepherd: "HRUKK! HACK! HARGLE!"

He bursts out of the bushes in front of some well to do mares, trying to ask for help.

Shepherd: "HRRRAAAGGHKKK!!!"

Mares: "EEEEEK!"

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Of course, alternatively for the Equestria Girls Verse...

Sunset Shimmer stands in front of Shepherd with a smirk.

Shepherd: "Hello... I kind of need to get to class."

Sunset: "Listen you little punk, I rule this school! You're nothing to me and you'll like it!"

Shepherd: What is she, an 80s movie bully?

Shepherd: "... Uh... Huh. Well! You have a nice day now."

Sunset: "Wha... Why aren't you intimidated?!"

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Shepherd is invited to a tea party with Fluttershy and Discord.

Shepherd: "Oh hey... Flying s'mores. Nice."

Fluttershy: "Oh, I quite like them!"

Discord: "Do I detect a hint of criticism in your tone, Shepherd?"

Shepherd: "No. It's nice that you're still as food obsessed as a wine aunt on Twitter. Maybe you can put it on Instagram to impress other childless weirdos"

Fluttershy: sigh "Can we please not do this?"

Discord: "What do you mean a wine aunt?!"

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The Phantom Joker aka The Sinestro Joker is in a financial bind. Here is his blog on his situation; Blog post

For those who can’t read it, here it is;

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