Well everybody.... A couple weeks ago I tore one of the muscles in my right arm. Now today at my birthday party someone slammed into me (right arm taking the full blow) and screwed the already tore one AND tore a new one. Now I have a sling.

Treatment starts tomorrow.

The finished product of my Noble Hunter Bloodborne costume. You just wait, they'll be throwing this into the game as DLC, mark my words.

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WHAT IS CLOOPING?!

Anyway, I have more school so updates go slow.

My story may end up getting updated every-other-day instead of every day because editing something this complex (wow I really know how to pick difficult storylines) is a nightmare and also the disability makes it much slower than expected. Today I've been mostly horizontal with little relief in sight.

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Thanks to all who came and joined in the party fun!

It was probably a bit too large because I broadcast it a little too freely, but most ponies who were not overwhelmed by the crowd were able to enjoy themselves. (Please in future, do not damage the furniture by smashing bottles to open them. Horse jesus, you dumb fuckers.)

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This about sums up the song perfectly. Found the video not too long ago.

I can't wait till Forces comes out to hear the full version.

merr chrismas

I've been under observation for almost three days after checking myself into the ER here locally, and now I am finally back home again.

Upshot is that I'm going to be starting the ECT treatments immediately (next Wednesday or Friday).

This is probably closer to accurate than you'd expect.

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Things were delayed a few more days, but it's all clear now. My first electroshock treatment commences tomorrow at 9:30 am EDT (less than fifteen hours away).

Yeah, it's probably not going to shut me up either.

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Two blogs in one day? it's almost like I'm active or something.

Anyways, in a half-hearted effort to show some activity on this site and conquer the dark void that is every day life show that I'm still alive, I'm going to blog every once in awhile about trends I notice on the site, or things that bother me, or whatever.

Good? Good.

So I made a blog earlier today asking 'why'. Why do 'edgy spike' fics exist?

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So, I'm back. No memory loss, not much tiredness, nothing notable (apart from a little emotional breakdown afterwards while still struggling to breathe again post-procedure). It was simpler than going to the dentist, truth be told. If it's this easy I might not need to take as much time off work as I'd been planning.

Oh, one more thing. I woke up in the middle of the procedure.

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I think this is week six of me being significantly ill with no rest. Chest pain is a little better than before (left lung bronchitis, hopefully). Cold-like symptoms have returned. Fatigue is high.

So, yeah, might be a while before I can respond to stuff here.

There's good news and bad news. Mostly bad news, I'm afraid.

The doctor who had been treating me left his position at the hospital this week, and the doctor who is now in charge of my care is not interested in keeping me sane with ketamine. She's only interested in the research protocol, not in providing the only treatment which has worked for me, so I'm being kicked out of the program entirely.

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Yes, Virginia, there IS a Holiday Story after all!

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I'm dealing with more depression than usual, which is again delaying my One Hoof Clopping updates.

I'm pondering removing the M/W/F update schedule note, but still planning to aim for M/W/F updates.

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I'm looking into convulsive therapy, where they shock your brain to make you spasm and for some reason it also makes you not sad all the time anymore. It has the highest success rate of any depression treatment, but you tend to lose some short-term memories as you do it, so it's obviously not a first resort.

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I haven't been able to write (or do) hardly anything in months, even though I'm off during the Summer and stuck inside. At first I thought it was mental illness, but much of it's still physical, and I don't quite know where the separation twixt the two lies.

Also, the brony world appears to have descended into chaos.

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these fellas never got to see the light of day so they're weird colored little shits

So I've been getting electroshock lately. Initially it wasn't working well because they did it too far to the front, to avoid my neurostimulator which is in the right side of my face.

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