I once delivered a pizza to the burn ward. The customer's name was Chris P. Mann.

What's the best day of the week to go to the bathroom?

Saturday.

So there's this ghost who's talking about asking a skeleton out on a date.

Her friends say she's moanin' for a bonin'.

Where do you go to buy camel milk?

A dromedairy.

So this guy goes into a restaurant in China, and it's one of those places that has the kind of food Americans "expect" to find in a "Chinese restaurant", which means a lot of it isn't even Chinese. It's the usual half-assed place with half-assed menus boasting hilariously bad, misspelled "English translations" of the menu. But one thing in particular stands out:

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These are the renegade changelings that Thorax was talking about in the latest episode:

Full Tumblr Post here.

What do hookers and camels have in common?

Every day is hump day.

I'm going to change my name back no matter what you say

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

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What do you call a British politician who's into anal sex?

A suppository.

"So is running a dairy farm really stressful?"

"Well, I always have to deal with this, that, or the udder..."

What do you call an all-female litter of puppies?

A bitch batch.

There's this kid, he's a huge Honeymooners fan. Everybody hates him because he's always going up to people and yelling "Pow! Right in the kisser!".

One day, he went out to a farm with some friends, and he started doing his thing to the farmers, the farmhands, even the animals. "Pow! Right in the kisser! Pow! Right in the kisser! Pow! Right in the kisser!"

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"Endorphins? I thought you said 'end orphans'!"

So there's these two dudes, right? The first dude, and he's like, a dude, he's like, "Dude."

Now the second dude, he's like, a duuuuuuuude. he's like, "Dude?"

So the first dude's like, "Duuuuuude."

And the second dude, he's like, "Duuuude!"

So the first dude's all, "Dude. DUDE."

And the second dude's like, "Dude?!"

And the first dude's all, "DUDE."

So the second dude's like, "Duuuuude..."

And the first dude's like, "Dude?"

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I knew this guy who ate the Turd-Turd Fruit and became a turd man.

He was the third turd man. His father was number two.

It was the busiest banking day of the month for the biggest bank in a small rural county, Linderby Bros. Savings and Loan, when a massive tornado struck without warning, destroying the bank and killing everyone inside. Nobody survived the disaster--neither a borrower, nor a Linderby.

What do you call a beanis that's been worn down to a nub and won't stop flopping listlessly?

A has-beanis.

What do you call an apprentice Bantha wrangler?

A Poodoowan learner.

Did you know that 9 out of ten stoners recommend weed.

Number 10 forgot what you were talking about...