Fluttershy: Are you okay?

Discord: Yes.

Fluttershy: Are you hurt?

Discord: No.

Fluttershy: *smacks him* Then what were you thinking?!

Cozy: ...And that’s my plan.

Tirek: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound rude.

Cozy: Go ahead, let’s hear it.

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Discord: I can’t believe they tried to stab me!

Starlight: Chill, your like, immortal. You’ll be fine.

Discord: I have feelings, Starlight!

Pharynx: ARE YOU-

Kevin: Fucking.

Pharynx: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Kevin: Fucking.

Pharynx: IDIOT!

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Pharynx: *clears throat*

Pharynx: Whoever decided to hurt Thorax today, please come outside so I can peacefully break your legs.

Sunset: Do not erase the memories of my friends.

Wallflower:

Wallflower: [Read 12:05]

Sunset: This is a verbal conversation-

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Tirek: I tried your plan. It’s a failure.

Cozy & Chrysalis: You didn’t try anything.

Tirek: I ran it through my head. It didn’t work.

Gallus: Sorry I’m late, I spent thirty minutes in my bed starting at the wall.

Rainbow: How dare you. I am an adult. I work hard. I pay my water bills. You will not disrespect me here. I can’t believe you have the gall to call me childish, now get out of my pillow fort!

Celestia, in the dream world: Ow! Son of a b-

Luna, pulling a filly close: Celestia! Children!

Celestia: —iscuit. Son of a biscuit.

Luna: Nice save.

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Rainbow: Standing next to sunflowers make me feel weak. Like, “Look at this flower. It’s taller than me! This flower is winning and I am losing.”

Twilight: Wow...you are not ready to hear about trees.

Pinkie: I’m sick of being called a “mortal.” Like, you don’t know that. I don’t know that! I haven’t died a single time in my life, stop making assumptions.

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Twilight: What is one way to be nice to someone?

Rainbow: Not stabbing them.

Twilight: Setting the bar low, but I’ll allow it.

Celestia: Whoa, you're being a little-

Luna: Obstreperous? Recalcitrant? Truculent?

Celestia: I was going to say “Cray-cray.”

Everyone: *Sad*

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Chrysalis: How do you rate your pain?

Starlight: 0/10

Chrysalis:...how? Your hoof is literally bent backwards.

Starlight: 0/10, would not recommend.

Trixie: Oh, so when crows remember who have wronged them it’s “intelligent” and “super cool,” but when I do it it’s “petty” and I “need to get over it.”

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Rainbow: You ever think about how your skeleton is always wet?

Twilight: I wish I never had but thanks for ruining my life.

Rainbow: You’re welcome!

Applejack: Don’t worry! There will come a time when it’s not.

Twilight: Thanks! Even worse.

Counselor: So, Rainbow, what are your goals in life?

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Celestia: I think I just took a five-hour nap.

Starlight: Pretty sure that’s called sleeping.

Luna: I’m also pretty sure it was fifteen hours, but whatever.

Thorax: I’m sending good vibes your way. They're coming. There is nothing you can do to stop them!

Pharynx: I think that’s the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

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Pharynx: See? This is exactly the type of social situation I’m not comfortable with!

Thorax: What kind of social situation are you comfortable with?

Sweetie Belle: Anything ending in ‘ie’ is cute! Like ‘sweetie’ and ‘cutie’ and-

Scootaloo: DIE.

Pharynx: When I die, I want Thorax to lower me into my grave so he can let me down one final time.

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Twilight: Jellyfish have survived for six thousand years with no brain.

Twilight: So there is still hope for Rainbow.

Gallus: You people always talk e-boy this and e-girl that, but no one ever talks about the e-conomy.

Oclleus:...

Gallus: Capitalism is a fundamentally flawed system.

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Pharynx: So I stopped a murder earlier today.

Thorax: Really? How?

Pharynx: Self-restraint.

Rainbow: I wasn’t that drunk last night.

Applejack: You were flirting with Twilight.

Rainbow: So? She’s my girlfriend.

Applejack: Yea, but you asked if she was single.

Applejack: and then cried when she said she wasn’t.

Thorax: Who think they can fight me and win?

Pharynx: Everyone.

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Cheerliee: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Apple Bloom: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Sweetie: I was personally created in a lab.

Scootaloo: I was straight up spawned.

Rainbow: Do you ever type 1 +2 into your calculator just to make sure it still equals 3?

Sunset: I want to say no, but the answer is yes.

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Trixie: I am a firm believer in “if you’re going to fail, fail spectacularly.”

Thorax: Question. When they shot Bambi’s mom, did you feel sad at all?

Pharynx: I’m sure her head is mounted on a nice wall somewhere.

Chrysalis: I feel like I have died and gone to heaven.

Tirek: I have the same dream, except you went the other way.

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Thorax: Pharynx, how hard are bones?

Pharynx, grabbing a mace: I don’t know, let’s find out!

Chrysalis: *screaming*

Sunburst: Can you pass the salt?

Starlight: I would, but I don’t think Trixie appreciates being picked up like that.

Thorax: How did ponies know the time before clocks were invented?

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Thorax: Don’t forget to get sunlight and water! You’re basically a houseplant with complicated emotions.

Twilight: You can’t bring a knife to a friendly trivia night—who does that?

Night Light:

Night Light: The prepared.

Cozy: Who wants a tarot reading?

Tirek: Those are Pokémon cards.

Cozy, pulling a card from the deck: You got Squirtle, it’s means “f**k you.”

Pharynx, drinking coffee: I love you.

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