358207

others are building a support base so they can conquer the world

Daggers, I presume

As for BTE, yeah: the prologue has a lot of Background Pony vibes to it. Hopefully, most of those will be shed by the time it hits chp 2 and starts really getting into its stride. Why? Two words. Hedge Hogs.

Boy, am I looking forward to getting to that bit. And Scoots as a character in the fic? Joys of joys! I bet none of you can read this, btw. Prove me wrong, guys

358285

To be fair, it wasn't really an internet debate (read argument) but it was a bit of a real debate (as in, approaching the truth by butting ideas off each other). As for the 502s/504s... it's the US's fault, I swear. I come on here in the morning (when you guys are all asleep) and the site's fine. I come on in the evenings, however, and...

I now write comments in Gdocs. Best policy there is. Site's been nearly unusable over the past few days. I'm glad they've got plans to fix it already in place.

358791

Ideas/recommendations? God, I have too many. Here's a list:

1) Sub fandoms within the fandom. Things like the Fallout Equestria side stories, Conversion Bureau, Lunaverse and the pretentiously named 'Chess game of the gods' universe. What makes them tick/why does the process of recursive fanfiction seem so prevalent in the MLP fandom?

2) The Cliches/Canon vs Fanon. What makes someone write the umpteenth HIE fic instead of striking out on their own? Why is Lyra nearly always portrayed as obsessed/interested in humans and hands? Why do we use the word 'alicorn' to describe Celestia, Luna and Cadence and, for that matter, why do we always portray them as immortal? Why is gore so prevalent? What makes us write stuff into the show that has no basis/logical reason for being there?

3) Where does fanfiction end? What separates a fic from a song, given that both are technically works of derivative fiction? Why isn't fanart included in fanfiction? What makes us the most despised medium of fan expression? In essence, what counts as fanfiction and what doesn't?

4) What would you consider the pinnacle fics in their genre? Self explanatory, really.

5) Close to the show fanfiction vs alternate fanfiction. We've got some fics that do their best to try and emulate the show (with varying degrees of success). Others don't even try, and prefer to head off on a related-but-not-something-you'd-ever-see-on-the-show direction. Why?

I've got more if you need them/I haven't put you off talking to me for a very long time. Enjoy Italy, btw!

358866
Wowza, a lot of ideas
Let's see...
1 - Very interesting, but I might get into it later. Seems like the kinda thing I'd actually have to read a lot, because I haven't read any crossover stories before or Lunaverse-style stories. What in hell's unholy blazes is Chess game of the gods?

2 -You can bet your 1:1 size Scootaloo figure that I'm doing an episode on that! I'll also go into HiE in more detail, since I read 2 stories that blew my mind. I just have to find one of them. One is Lez Ponies and the other is a story I read a long time ago. Found it through EqD, but I can't remember the name. Ponies find humans at crash site, one of them survived with bad injuries, they bring in the Elements to help heal the guy, Twilight becomes obsessed with his comatose state, he wakes up, runs, uses Twilight as hostage, story ends by him apparently shooting himself in the head. The author left a note saying there'd be a sequel. Ring any bells, mates?

3 - I was thinking of actually covering the concept of fanfic in the first episode. It wouldn't be the main topic, but it is something I plan on doing.

4 - I don't think I'm qualified to say that. I haven't read even 1,000,000 words yet! I could give examples of pinnacles of genre, like great adventure or romantic stories and all that, but a Best of the Best story? Sounds tough. I could open a poll, but that would take a long time to define. If I actually go for the long run on this, though, maybe in the faraway future.

5 - Great for a debate, not so sure about a podcast. I"ll write it down, but for a first episode might not be a great idea.

358822
It's a bit long and I got effects to make, but I'll read it later, but I was curious: why exactly did you suggest that story? Review, reading, anything in there worth talking about throughout a whole episode?

358956

1) Chess Game of the Gods is a collection of fics based of The Ballad of Echo The Diamond Dog started by Rust. I'm... not very attached to most of them outside of Rust's original. If you want more info, try asking Fred: I know he's in their group, watching their stuff...

2) I've read Lez Ponies. It's interesting, though vaguely similar to Hands (which ruined itself for me when the author decided to have his character stand up and whinge at the audience). The story I think you're thinking of is Article 2. It's a story whose existence I'm aware of, but have yet to actually read. I've only heard good things, though.

3) The concept is something fascinating. There's so many... interpretations as to what it means. If you were trying to work it in with your first episode, I'd introduce it as a 'why write fanfiction?' sorta thing.

4) > one million? You light weight. I'm over six million *preens self smugly* and that's not including the big Fallout Equestria fics.

I read too much fanfiction, I know. It's hurting my brain.

358956 The reasons are numerous. First, it's the origin of Octavia and Vinyl's relationship. Second, it was well written and spawned thousands of copycats. Well done enough to be worth a read, regardless of your preferences. Finally, since it was the original, it gives you a look at how the trend of putting the two together started. You can see just why it became so big in the fandom. There is also enough material to fill up your time. 359045 I read a lot too.

359045

That could be good. I was thinking of choosing a genre and diving deeper into it. If you guessed romance, grab a glass of water, drink it slowly and prepare to spit it out.

I was thinking of covering Slice of Life.

Okay, let me explain.

I was thinking of talking about romance, but I'm too biased to do an impartial explanation. I love writing romance, but I wouldn't be able to explain why it's such a great genre. Then I thought: well, what about something interesting? Slice of Life is very, very interesting. It's such a weird-named genre. What exactly is SoL? How do you define a story as SoL? Also, I came across excellent SoL stories that, for some reason, had a tone of sadness to them. Some were actually tagged SAD, but others were touching. Why exactly? Does SoL need to be sad? Does that mean that life is somewhat sad? Is it necessary to touch or move the reader? All of this and more after a word from our sponsors.

silence

....

You know, I should stop calling in sponsors that never existed. It's just plain embarrassing

Anywho, why write fanfiction would be great, along with a 'why read fanfic?'. Rainbown Factory and Cupcakes are clear examples that push people away, not to mention clopfics. Actually, this sounds great. Talking about fanfics in general: the basic concept, why write fanfic and why read it. I might actually go with that.

359127
That seems awesome. I could use it as an example of shipping. I could do an episode on what shipping is, the most popular shippings and why we ship the characters that, in the show, have no relation whatsoever. Sparity would be okay, since MLP shows us that Spike has a thing for Rarity, and fics about how Cadence and Shining Armour met wouldn't count, since that couple is official, but what about all the other shipping? That'd be an interesting talk.

359149 And just when the Den-liner was reupholstering. You know, after the Deneb Candy incident. Glad you agree though.

358848 Yay, more procrastination/thinking time!

358866 Exactly, Daggers. And I think a few others, actually, but I can't think of any off the top of my head.
Also: 'And Scoots as a character in the fic? Joys of joys! I bet none of you can read this, btw. Prove me wrong, guys ' I woulda missed it without the Scootangel. XD

358956 I think Aquillo took care of any ideas I would want to see/hear. Lemme know if you want any help. However, I do like the 'What is/Why Write/Read Fanfics' and the Shipping Discussion. On the topic of genres, do Doctor Whooves fics get their own?

359045 Holy crap. Between that point of knowledge and 'The Alicorn Foal,' I'm starting to get a bit worried. What am I wearing right now...? Are you watching me...?

Anyway, word count: Somewhere over 3 million. You know what this calls for?

http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/191/9/1/it__s_over_9000_by_dementedproductions-d3lkk4m.png

Are pictures allowed to be that big? It's my first time.

359149 Yeah, I'm listening to this podcast. HAHAHAHAHHAAAAHAHA

So yeah, Idea Channel just made a video talking about fanfictions, the fad and the best-selling fanfic of all times:

Fifty Shades of grey... I kid you not. It's repulsing. Watch the video here and udnerstand it better if you want. This actually kinda leaves me with not much to talk about, but since the idea is for the podcast to be a directed towards ponyfics specifically, I guess I still have room to work with.

Damn you awesome-bearded-man!

359449

That's...a PMV, Nagagon.

359409

Pretty much why I put in there

I'm also not certain if pics are allowed to be that big. I think you may have angered the mods/gods here, Fred.

I'm also completely unsure if Dr Whooves counts as its own group. I'd lump it in the same general group as HIE: loosely related stories with a generally similar background.

359149

Ah, yes. Rainbow Factory and Cupcakes. The two Gore fics that (along with Sweet Apple Massacre) everyone thinks constitutes the entirety of Fanfiction. Well, that, Clop and Fallout Equestria. Urrgh. I despair of the fandom, sometimes.

As for SOL, I've always taken that to mean an attempt to emulate the show to the best of a fanfic writer's abilities. Sunny Skies All Day Long is considered the quintessential fic in that respect, though... I take some issue over how close it sticks to canon. It's undeniably the closest to the show in spirit, though.

And now - if you all don't mind - I'm off to read the latest Cold In Gardez story. I've been looking forward to it all day.

358848

Man, would you believe that the idea I had for this prompt thingy just showed up as the premise of a story on the main page?

Back to the drawing board.

EDIT: Like, seriously, it's so similar to what I had in mind that I could probably just send in this as my outline. Except I was going to make fear of water Rainbow Dash's secret shame.

Hmm . . . maybe I can still get something out of that.

359530 Coincidence is a powerful force on this site. Just ask 359467 how many times it seems like someone is tapping our communication attempts. It becomes uncanny after a while.

359592

Well, the idea is admittedly kinda obvious. I think I'll write an outline of my version of it anyway, since I did have something slightly different in mind. I'd get accused of plagiarism if I ever tried to make a story from it, though.

359598 Alright. Your choice on that one. Good thing we have the extra time though.

359467 Wait, you're a mod of this group. Have I angered you? If so, check this link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiHQN1q8ln4

Also, Squeak JUST put up a blog asking for proofreaders. Do you think he's spying on us?

359598 I haven't read/seen the story in question, so... *whistles gently* Nice new idea!

360303 359592

Given the number of times coincidence has struck before, I wouldn't be surprised.

Also, no, not me: Poultron, our resident, angry mod. I just have a crown thingy. It's less excting than you'd think. And pfft, that so didn't scare me. Besides: this is the best video on youtube by a clear mile.

359598

We're just creating summaries, so you should be fine with posting it. Hell: I'm impressed you even told us. If you hadn't, I'm willing to bet none of us would have ever known

360444 I don't think he'll be bothered by it. He has better things to worry about. At least, I hope he has better things to worry about. Poultron: If that pic is too big, and you're reading this, just say the word and I'll take it down. Aquillo... curse you, you've got my paranoia on.

Anyway, it wasn't supposed to scare you. You mentioned it was your favorite SCP, so I decided to show you that it was a game. An annoying, troll game.

Edit: Fine, I'll bite. What color are you using? Silver didn't work for me, nor did white or grey.

360490
Here:(color=#F4F1E8). Use it wisely, Fred: this is a great and powerful thing I am giving you (which I totally stole from the Writer's group)
Looks like a cool game. I'll have to check it out sometime.

As for Poultron, the original blog said they'd warn you first before banning repeat offenders. As far as I'm aware, the biggest problem with it is that big images cause the site to slow down...

Yeah. You know what you did. Have a Fluttershy of dissaproval

360523 Fine. Just for Fluttershy, I shall take it down. XD
Awesome, thanks.
It's an interesting game. Have about 30 minutes set aside to try it.

360537 No problem. Also, I have found my twin. I am going to pretend everything I write is actually by this person. Hurray!

Looks like it should be. I wonder what happens if you try walking down it backwards (assuming it pops up behind you)?

360548 A twin?

I'm pretty sure it just kills you anyway. It's like the original in that you eventually run into the face, but in this version, it just kills you, it doesn't watch. Actually, the watching thing is creepier, but anyway.

360564Click on the link in the comment. Our names are nearly identical.

Watching is way creepier because you have no idea what it's going to do. Killing's just... boring, now. There's no suspense when someone kills you. Man, does that sucks: it just kills all the tension stone dead.

Wait...

360576That's pretty cool, actually. How'd you find him?

Yes, watching leaves it to the imagination. After a few dozen SCPs, just plain killing you isn't creepy anymore. Now, an SCP that [REDACTED], then [REDACTED] you after you finish screaming for [][] hours, leaving exactly 3 fingers, a toe and [REDACTED] can actually scare someone, because it leaves it to their imagination.

359601 At this point, should we make a new thread to post the prompts in tomorrow? This one's gotten kinda large.

360634 it's no worse than last time. We'll worry about splitting it if it comes to that point though. And as for the pictures and mod anger stuff, I think that is only on the stories. Groups get a different amount of leeway.

P.S. I go to batman now

360847 Alright, sounds good.
So, basically, Aquillo managed to troll me? Nice. XD

Oh, nice! How was it?

360887 A very good movie. Well versed in Batman lore, and with a respectable story. Predictable ending, but good entertainment.

360887 360576 359598 356055 359449 Just letting you know that today is the last day. Post by day's end. Then it's review time!

361153>>360576>>359598>>359449

OOH, OOH, I'LL GO FIRST. I used the format from Pepper.

Genre: Comedy
Setting: Ponyville, after Season 2 (not important, but this way I can draw on all the episodes)
Main Plot: The Mane 6 are hanging out, planning Princess Celestia’s birthday party (obviously, Pinkie is very excited). As they are preparing, Fluttershy quietly announces that she has just lost the Game. All but Rarity groan and react. Rarity asks for clarification, and is told about the Game. The planning breaks up (they were thinking about having Pinkie with a party cannon in a cake, but then decided against it, knowing how Celestia reacts to cake), and everyone goes home.
Rarity goes home, confused about the Game, wondering why anyone would play it. Then, realizing that she is thinking about it, she announces that she has lost the Game right as she walks into her house. The CMC are there, along with new inductee Dinky Doo. All of them sigh, and go back to what they were doing (Cutie Mark Crusaders Monster Hunters!!).
The next morning, Rarity gets up, and spends the morning designing a gift for Celestia. She is so preoccupied that she doesn’t notice that the CMC are leaving, decked out with binoculars and other hunting equipment. She doesn’t notice they are gone until Applejack shows up around noon, looking for them. Rarity, when she notices she’s there, loses the Game again. Applejack tells her they have more important things to do, and they go to find Ditzy Doo, hoping she can tell them where they are.
On the way to Ditzy’s house, they run into Rainbow Dash, who is looking for Scootaloo (she missed flying practice). They take her along, and when they talk to Ditzy, Rarity suddenly remembers. They run back to her house, and find the plans for Ever-Free Forest Exploration.
They panic, grab Twilight, run into with Zecora (I’d have to work to get the rhyming), and enter the Forest to find them. They get separated, and start running into each other randomly, except when, say, Ditzy runs into Rainbow Dash, she acts more like a Zecora who struggles with rhyming.
After some trouble, the group finally meets up, and finds the CMC, who have been captured by some Changelings. As they move in to rescue them, it is discovered the Rarity they are with is actually a Changeling who did the disguise right. Rarity has been captured by the Changelings, and they all have disguised themselves as her, so they can’t tell which one is her (they’ve left the base by this point, and have run into a large group of Rarity). They’re wondering how to tell which is real, when one announces that she just lost the Game. Since all the other Raritys look confused, Twilight casts a spell on the Game Rarity so she can track her, and they beat up the other Changelings.
Might add on a bit with Rarity annoying the town with the Game until Twilight gets fed up and does one of two things.
1. Gives her the book Winning the Game
2. Wiping her memories of the Game

I know, it's bad. XD

361620>>360576>>361153>>356055>>358956

I was so busy struggling to get out a chapter of my fic in progress, I totally blew this off. I'm flyin' by the seat of my pants here, man.

Title: The Beach Episode! (my lame attempt at feature box bait)

Genre: Comedy, Drama maybe, Slice of Life

Setting: Friendship Express, Infinity Shores Beach (blatant geographical steal from somepony), Marelantis

Main Plot: The Mane Six and faithful butt monkey Spike are on the way to Infinity Shores for a badly needed vacation after Princess Celestia has determined that stress over her studies is driving Twilight Sparkle crazy again. During the train ride, Twilight twitches and mumbles creepily and cryptically about "the bane of my existence, fill-in-the-blank" while the others chatter about what they're going to do at the beach. Spike attempts to impress Rarity with his new Bermuda shorts. Fail. He gets accidentally locked in an overhead bin in the process and everypony forgets about him because they're too focused on the magic of friendship to notice when their draconic sidekick is getting his face smashed in things for cheap laughs. We'll work out exactly how that all happens later.

Twilight's not the only one brooding. Rainbow Dash is acting unusually pensive and is getting close to full-on stage fright mode for reasons unclear.

At the beach, the ponies proceed to do beach things. Twilight loosens up. Rainbow Dash finds excuses to stay well back from the edge of the water. Beach volleyball ensues. A muscular stallion rips his shirt off while seagulls take flight in the background. Why was he wearing a shirt in the first place? For that matter, who is this guy? The world is full of mysteries.

Applejack reminisces about bathing in the ocean on family vacations as a filly. She heads for the water, but is interrupted when Rainbow Dash starts talking nervously and at length about riptides. Everypony is confused. Noticing the odd looks, Rainbow attempts to brush it off as weather manager-type stuff, no big deal. The other ponies head into the water and splash around. Rainbow Dash holds back.

Right about here, another plot point happens that I can't think of to give the story more conflict and round things out.

Noticing that her childhood friend seems uncharacteristically nervous, Fluttershy tries and fails to give Rainbow Dash a pep talk, hinting that Rainbow must be afraid of the water, and mentioning how she herself is often nervous but tries to overcome her fears. Rainbow's pride gets in the way; she insists that of course she's not afraid of the water, and she's going to prove it.

Scared to death, Rainbow makes some pansy attempts to get her hooves wet. Fails hilariously the first few times. Finally, aware that her friends are watching, she rushes into the water at full speed, goes out too far, and gets sucked under by a riptide. She dies.

No, I'm kidding about the dying part. She gets saved by a sea pony. A sea pony, dammit. I asked for sea ponies, and they gave me friggin' "crystal ponies" instead. Man, I'm cheesed. Wait, where was I? Yeah, she gets saved by a sea pony. Encasing her in a bubble, the sea ponies take her to the sunken city of Marelantis, their ancient home, ruled by some, I dunno, Celestia-like Poseidon Pony or something. Something happens there. Yeah, I got nothin'. Maybe she gets a pep talk on the wonders of the ocean. Maybe she goes on some mini-adventure and saves Marelantis. The sea ponies make her swear to secrecy, "For if thou speakest to thy friends of the lost tribe of sea ponies, thou shalt destroy show continuity forever and always." She doesn't understand what that means, but she knows it's serious.

Rainbow Dash resurfaces a long time later only to discover that pegasus ponies have been out in force searching for her, and that her friends thought she was dead. They reunite. Hugs all around. They're sure her fear of water must be cemented now, but she proves that in fact she's gotten over it. They ride home, and then, for the final gag, somepony wonders aloud where Spike went. The end.

That's all I got.

361653>>361620>>361153>>359449>>356055

And my internet resurfaces for the twilight hours of the competition, after having been dead for most of the day. Let's do this

Title: Singing for her supper

Genre: Mainly Comedy, and (just to annoy Nagagon) lots and lots of clop

No. No clop. Bad Aquillo.

Setting: Canterlot. Or maybe the concert hall of Manehatten. Either or. Lyra's main character, with Bon-Bon and Carrot Top as supporting asides. Range of others from the pic are there too.

Main plot: It's Celestia's birthday and - bless her - the old dear's gone nuts. Turns out giving her too much cake can do that. Who knew? Anyway, she's in full-blown Tyrantlestia mode, and nothing and nopony can possibly hope to stop her (Luna's been locked in her bedroom will a large tub of icecream and over twenty computers detailing bargains from the Steam Summer Sale, so don't go expecting any help from that quarter). Her first demand: more cake. Her second? That Twilight and all other EOH be forced to play the instrumental version of Winter Wrap Up forever. She's also ordered some random background ponies to join in because, damnit, she's insane and can do whatever the hay she wants now. You wanna question her? To the moon with you, bitch!

Story revolves around Lyra, BB and CT escaping from the concert hall while Celly's in full headbanging mode and trying to find some way of reverting her back to normal. Lots of methods are tried. such as cutting Luna's internet connection and the liberal application of a gastric pump. None work: Celestia's simply eaten too much cake. There's no stopping her now. Not even the best paid dietitians in the land work: she just ropes them into the chorus. Only Pinkie Pie is happy with these turns of events.

Eventually, after much and many antics are had, BB notices Celestia shaking Derpy, and then eating all the muffins that fall out. Turns out the only reason none of those techniques worked was because Celly was just scoffing all of Derpy's plentiful muffin stash as soon as they'd left the room. They remove Derpy, try again and - joy of joys - it works, and everything goes back to normal.

All except for Twilight, who's been badly traumatised by the experience and can only speak lines from the song. She never returns to normal (so sad ).

360887 I was googling my name + fimfic in order to find stories I'd commented on, when I noticed it including an 'Aquilo'. Nothing really that exciting.

There's a seperate rule for blog posts and forums, in that only the OP's allowed to post big images. I think. Fairly sure that was the gist of the mod's message, anyway.

360847

Batman good? Pls tell

Edit: Damn it, Fred. You included both Celestia and Cake in your prompt? I'm going to have to write another one. Grrrr...

Title: Last Song

Genre: Crossover with Link's Awakening, with the island's inhabitants being replaced by ponies. Also, sorta Adventure.

Setting: Lyra is Link (because, duh: who else). Setting is on an island: I'd be using lots of short scenes to build up a sense of epicness/make the story feel like snapshots of a much larger one.

Main plot: Starts with Lyra raiding her final dungeon, sword in... magical grip and shield in... exactly the same. Lots of monster fighting, dungeon crawling, action scenes and 'I tap the wall to find a weak spot' type stuff. As it goes on, occasionally have flashbacks to other battles/similar events in order to explain the story. Eventually, Lyra gets through to the final dungeon and has to face the boss. After much epicness, she defeats him, goes on through and claims the final instrument! (If you haven't played the game, you need to collect instruments in order to wake up the Wind Fish from its egg. It's... complicated.) But just as she touches it...

...the school bell rings, replacing the ringing instrument. Stick and trash-can lid abandoned, Lyra trots inside with all the other foals. Recess is over, kids.

Prompt conceived of and written in under 15 mins. I know it's got nothing to do with the picture. I'd... I'd find some way to include that in an actual story, I swear.

Setting: Just after the wedding, in the Gallopagos Islands.
genre: comedy, slice of life, romance

Plot: Twilight (who was absolutely not still sore at how she found out about the wedding) had overheard Cadance talking about how she wished that she could have met Shining when he was younger, missing all of the time that they could have spent growing up together. Taking this as a hint she packaged a spell that would turn the two into foals for a while, telling her brother to wait until she was around to try it out. On their honeymoon, Shining Armor becomes too curious and decides to open it. Once the smoke cleared, Filly Cadance became delighted and flew off to play around, while Shining tries desperately to catch her, release the spell and enjoy what is left of their special time together. But with his small stature, reduced magic, and a wife that can fly, this will be the most interesting game of tag he has ever played.

361787

This one is win. Especially like the totally clueless Twilight.

Setting: One year before Twilight goes to Ponyville. Mostly Ponyville.

Genre: Adventure

Plot: This year for the Summer Sun Celebration, the princess decides to hold an olympics-type event. All members of the Mane 6 participate, except Twilight. They all compete in the same triathlon: galloping, swimming, and then an obstacle course that is different for each type of pony. Over the course of said triathlon, one pony becomes injured. Being a good samaritan, another pony from the Mane 6 helps them out, and they become friends this way (e.g. Fluttershy gets hurt during the galloping and Pinkie stops to help her out). When it ends up being a six-way tie (between Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Derpy), because they're just all too good of friends to let the others lose, they all are forced to participate in a final match to find out who will bring home the gold. In the end, Derpy wins, but it doesn't matter to the rest of the ponies, because they got new friends.

A sappy story with a cliche ending, I know. I just wanted to come up with something to answer a question I've had, if the other ponies in the Mane 6 knew each other before Twilight came into the picture.

Also, this is still within the time limits according to my clock.

362022 just barely, but I'll give it to you. the only one who didn't throw in something (out of the participants) was 359449 this time. He kind of has an excuse though. Let's start the review, and if he somehow throws a summary up before we are done, I'll allow the late entry. Looks like 361620 is up first!

362034
Sorry I missed the deadline guys. I kinda had an idea, but I was too focused on doing my work for Double Rainboom, I forgot. Plus, I've been feeling a little udner the weather.

And by that I mean Italy has a great view if you consider the twirly water from the toilet which you just shoved your head into at 3 am for your dinner to give a little hello as some sort of view.

Word of the wise: Never walk around Parma under a 36C degrees while your sick. Specially if your basically fueled by water and gatorade.

362229 Being sick sucks... by the power vested in me, I order you to stop being sick! KRA-KOW!
Wait, Double Rainboom? Are you one of the animators?

362034 Alright. I'm ready!

362517 I think Pinkie would be a better choice to start off the shenanigans. Fluttershy would start crying over something as cruel as "The Game. Also, I see Rarity more as somepony who would look down on that kind of a game, before being completely caught up in it. I think it's because unicorns in general seem to have some type of O.C.D., but she would be frustrated and constantly thinking about it to the point of being unable to focus on anything else.
Why would they get separated? Ditzy acts like Zecora? Rarity gets captured, but still is free enough to be confused for her captors? Finally, if you manage to wipe everypony's memory of the game, you can get recursion in there. With much groaning.

362022>>361857 361744 have none of you any advice for poor 362517? Such a poor showing... I guess we have one more day to go off schedule, but let's not make a habit of this. There are only so many days in the month. 362229 is still abroad.

362956 Alright, here I go. XD
I thought about Pinkie, but I think it better shows how widespread the Game is in Equestria, that Fluttershy is comfortable announcing that she has lost it. Plus, if Pinkie started it, it's Pinkie being Pinkie.

Yeah, she does look down on it. When I mentioned that she thinks about it, it's along the lines of 'So Stupid... Why?'

On the topic of being separated: It's the Everfree Forest. Rockslide, canyon, Rickrolling, etc. Or maybe the CMC tracks split.

The Ditzy being Zecora thing is a Changeling who saw Ditzy, but heard Zecora speaking, and got confused. There aren't top-notch Changelings, they're kinda silly.

Yeah.... the Rarity army scene.... it needs work. XD
Somehow, the Game allows them to choose the real Rarity. Maybe someone in the rescue party loses it, and only one Rarity reacts. I dunno. That bit was reaching.

Huh, recursion. Cool.

363593 Yeah guys! I wanna see what else I did epically wrong!

363593

Oops, sorry. Didn't realize how this worked. I'm new here.

361620>>364100

I'm inclined to second the opinion that Pinkie might be a better choice for the one who introduces Rarity to the Game, simply because the reader might cry, "Out of character!" if it's Fluttershy. If you do want to stick with Fluttershy, you'll probably need to justify it in some way, but then you're stuck spending time justifying why Fluttershy is playing the Game when the story is about Rarity. With Pinkie, little or no explanation is needed.

I'm unclear on how the capturing of Rarity and replacement with a Changeling takes place, but that might be something you can make consistent as the scene is fleshed out.

I think for the final scene, instead of having Twilight wipe Rarity's memory (that's pretty harsh), you should tie the beginning back in and bring us back around to Celestia's birthday party, somehow tying the Game thing in there, too. Like, Celestia should announce she's lost the Game or something.

364227 364100 which is a different type of recursion. Also, I was thinking, if Rarity didn't get an explanation, during the Rarity army scene, all of the changelings could be taken out by groaning over loosing. That gives the widespread idea more validity.

363593

Don't blame me! I had no internet connection!

On the other hoof, we now have a limited amount of wireless set up in my house. I can almost smell the twenty-first century. It smells of... pop tarts.

Also 361787, writes it naow

362517

Foolish Fred. He had a blog post all about it. Go check

Anyway, time for a critque.

I'd disagree with the Pinkie origin/introduction for the Game. If Pinkie does it it'll feel too much like it's just her breaking the fourth wall, rather than the significant plot point it actually is. On the other hand, you may want it to be interpretted like that in order to make it more signifcant/surprising when it does turn out to be a central plot point. Your call.

One thing I don't understand is why you've got Dinky and Ditzy in there. They just look like an extra layer of complication/an uneccesary addition. I'd remove them: AJ, Rarity, RD and the CMC suffice for what you're trying to do.

I'd also consider having Celestia's birthday party interupted by some sort of report on the changelings, to make it a little less surprising for the reader when they do show up. Chekhov's guns are awesome and it's totally legal to walk around with them cocked and loaded. Use 'em.

Other than that, I agree with what everyone else said, and

362229

Sorry to hear you're sick, Nags. Get well soon/don't let it cloud your Italian experience.

364499 You'll be glad to know I'm back in the game! Althought slightly tired. Different timezone, too much walking, DR work, writing plus playing with my 7-year-old cousin is taking a lot of energy I don't have. Caffeine consumption is limited by my bits, which are getting thinner everyday, so no way of borrowing power from the godly bitter drink. However, I can say with pride that I have succesfully converted my cousin to MLP. Watched 5 episodes today. Apparently, she had already watched it, but it was somewhere around the beginning of season 2. Kept saying something about not liking Twilight because she just got mad at the others for acting weird, which I'm guessing would be S2E1 and/or S2E2 with Discord.

362517
I'm not an animator. Can't draw a piece of crap even at gunpoint, let alone animate things on a software I have a clear history of directed hatred and violence. I'm responsible for special effects. You know, sparkles, bubbles, magic auras, liquids, that sorta thing. It's a great learning experience and the director, Zach, is a helluva guy, but how in hell's unholy blazes did he get impressed by my skills is beyond me
Anyway, let's start, I still have time! (I think. Different timezone sucks).

The idea of using the game (I lost it) is pretty funny, although is a little far-off from what I intended with the prompt, but that's more my fault than yours. The idea was to make a prompt based on children's game. The game (lost it again) is more of a joke for teenagers and us, but your idea seems well-developed. A few loose ends that have already been pointed out, so I won't go over them. However, I do have one thing that's bugging me: doesn't the story seem a little long? I thought the idea behind this exercises was to make a quick story. A one-shot or a quick multi-chapter story with 2 or 3 chapters. Then again, I could be just too picky here.

Also, I watched the whole animatic yesterday during a meeting for Double Rainboom. Can't really reveal anything because I signed a NDA, but Double Rainboom is gonna be 140% cooler than YOUR WILDEST IMAGINATIONS COULD DREAM!

I'm so happy to be part of the project...

364499 HA! Silly Aquillo, I read that blog post. I just missed a piece or two, cause I was distracted. I think...

Anyway, yeah. Pinkie. I agree with what you're saying, but I might not use Fluttershy for it. That leaves another 3 people, maybe I'll roll a d3. Or, you know, actually think about it. XD

I like Dinky and Ditzy, is really the only reason. I might slash that, or keep them in. Who knows?

I like the interruption idea, I can work with that. Thanks!

364557 Yay bubbles!

Actually, I was playing the Game back around 10 years old. You know the rules: Everyone is playing it at all, they just don't know it.

Yeah, it IS supposed to be short, but I have a dream to actually write something impressive, so I'm making these to motivate myself.

140%? That's like.......... a lot.

Good luck in Italy, stay healthy (did my order work?) and congrats on Double Rainboom!

364557 Glad to hear of your recovery. It's no fun to be sick on vacation.

Now that we all put in on 364958 's stuff, I think it's time to wrap it up and move on to 361653 unless 362022 has something to add.

By the way 364499 , Batman was good, but Spiderman which I saw today was much better.

365249 Spider-Man was very good. I enjoyed it immensely.

361653 Hmm, what happens in Marelantis stays in Marelantis? So what would force Rainbow Dash to not be scared of water anymore... I'm going to lean towards some sort of adventure/something. Maybe Seacord attacks (or maybe Tyek) and she has to swim to defeat him and save all of Equestria?

Twilight's mental collapse...what if you made it Crystal Pony related? Since it's a comedy, maybe she heard of them, and has been desperately looking for answers. And then you could include your rant, and put in some Chekhov's guns (364499 taught me that one) to foreshadow.

Overall, looks good. I'd read it!

366013

Crystal pony related? I kinda like that. Twilight will sit there, mumbling, "It breaks continuity, it breaks continuity . . ."

I'm not sure I'd dare use crystal ponies until we know what the heck they are. They have a kingdom, apparently (next door to Equestria), and Cadance is involved, and they joust, which is awesome, and have a petting zoo, which is . . . okay.

You're absolutely right about Chekhov and his phaser. We need some hint of sea ponies at the beginning--strange reports of sightings at the beach or something. Maybe Twilight wants to do research on the phenomena. Also, I was sort of kidding about the sea ponies' final warning to Dash. I'd come up with some other excuse for why she's sworn to secrecy; I avoid fourth-wall breakage and in-jokes: they ruin my suspension of disbelief when I see them in others' stories, so I try not to use them.

Dash has to swim on her own at the climax--really good idea. Exactly what needs to happen. Maybe she has to rescue the sea pony who first rescued her, and has to leave her air bubble and hold her breath for a good long time to do it, and then she suffocates, freezes, and dies, and they try to give her CPR to bring her back, but she just won't come back, and then the sea pony starts slapping her and screaming, "Dammit, Rainbow! You've never given up on anything before in your life, and you're not giving up now!" Then she coughs and opens her eyes.

Or something.

(In movie land, CPR sometimes doesn't work, and that's when you try slapping.)

366087 And when slapping doesn't work, you cry on their chest, or have the Hulk roar at them.

Well, other than that, I got nothing. Good luck. XD

366087 if you want a subtle intro to seaponies, applejack has some history with them. Also might be why she hates kelp. Lyra is also a good choice.

366087>>366013

I'm reading crystal ponies. I'm thinking 'da fuq are they?'. It slowly dawns on me that news about season three got leaked recently: news that I've been avoiding like the plague.

I'll be back with a proper comment soon. Got to go scream into a pillow for a bit.

Edit: Oh, Project Horizons updated. Guess I'll be screaming whilst reading, then.