Once again, I'm looking for some feedback on a story:

TA Fading Mirage of Friendship

• MLP: FiM
• Comedy
• Slice of Life
• Tragedy

Twilight has everything going for her. She is an Element of Magic, has loyal friends, and now she's become the princess of the whole Equestria. It's like a dream come true. Too bad, all dreams must come to an end...

• Death
• Twilight
• Main 6

Huk · 2.2k words  ·  29  4 · 1.2k views

This thing got almost no traction, and I'm trying to figure out why. I tried reading and re-reading, listening, and re-listening, but... it seems fine to me. I'm at a loss...

It's only about 2200 words... any chance to give it a go and tell me what I did wrong ?

7342325
I'll try to look it over when I get the chance and let you know what I think

7342329

Thank you, I appreciate it .

7342325
Would say the only thing is the very jarring twist at the end. It works and I quite like it, but it all seemed to happen very abruptly. Could have possibly used a bit more build up, some hints throughout etc. Tl;dr, you didn't do anything "wrong" imo, there just wasn't enough of it :)

10457617

Not sure what kind of tags would be appropriate here where the story is a mix of happiness and sadness...

Probably "Slice Of Life" for Twilight's dream realm, and "Tragedy" for the reality. For me "Tragedy" denotes a event, whereas "Sad" refers to a mood and there's not enough of the latter in the story to warrant a tag for it. Just my take on it though.