"Anarchy: Pony of Chaos" by Ninjadeadbeard

TAnarchy: Pony of Chaos

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Comedy
• Slice of Life

Fluttershy and Discord decide to have a child. May the Gods have mercy on their souls.

• Fluttershy
• OC
• Discord
• Main 6
• CMCs

Ninjadeadbeard · 154k words  ·  216  11 · 4.9k views

As this comes from a review collection aimed at 20k maximum stories, I will only be giving a rating based on the first two chapters. And since we start at the beginning of the story, I might as well start reviewing from the start of chapter one.

Right off the bat, the narration dives straight into the story with a few paragraphs of exposition to set the scene. Though my preferred style is a gradual build-up to establish the story and characters, usually taking a chapter or more to do so, quick beginnings are not a flaw in of themselves. What makes the beginning particularly rough is the breadth that the exposition covers. The audience is exposed to multiple locations and microcosms all at once that takes the focus off where the story will go.

And while this chaotic beginning can be a misstep as an introduction, this plays directly into the running motif of anarchy and chaos as the central comedic factor. The dialogue is well written and plays off the situational humour, cracking jokes at the changes the MLP characters would have to go through as their lives develop.

Many fit with established tropes, such as the exhausted parent or the crazy and uncontrollable child, and get their novelty by involving the quirks of the MLP cast. It has to be noted that, at least in the particular situation that the characters start in, there are elements that one would recognize if they are familiar with “Daughter of Discord.” This should come as no surprise because the driving force behind the story is the titular character Anarchy, who happens to be the daughter of Discord.

But, while certain factors are coincident with other works, this story is set after the canonical end of the MLP show and thus involves its own take on the main characters. The chapters are well written with a strong command of the language and prose that’s used.

The dialogue is tailored to each of the characters, producing the feeling that there are multiple voices in any given scene. I must also add that to aid in the comedy, the author also relies on a few tricks I consider writing hacks. Run-on words that repeat the final letter excessively just for the sake of emphasis and the use of all caps on occasion are stylistic choices that I simply cannot abide by.

This is story is a comedy, but it is also a slice of life story. I generally rate comedies on their own scale because of the subjective nature of humour, and because any story written for the sake of a few jokes will likely fail to pan out in its other aspects. However, I have enjoyed what I’ve read thus far and being over 150k words clearly show that it is not written just for the laughs.

Thus I rate it 8/10 on a story scale, not just a comedic scale, for its capable control of language and strong integration of its humour with dialogue. I mainly fault it for some stylistic choices, eerie similarity to other established works as a premise, as well as the jarring introduction pace. Had I the chance to review more, however, I can see the second flaw fading out, possibly earning this story a 9/10.