This is a review for the story Midnight at the Crystal Library by the user Ninjadeadbeard.

EMidnight at the Crystal Library

• MLP: FiM
• Equestria Girls
• MLP: Movie
• Adventure
• Drama

While on a study-vacation in the Crystal Empire, Sunset, Sci-Twi, Starswirl, and Starlight will have to literally confront their past mistakes if Equestria is to survive.

• Main 6
• Starswirl
• Midnight Sparkle
• Main 7 (EqG)
• Tempest Shadow

Ninjadeadbeard · 25k words  ·  218  2 · 4k views

At the time of this review, this story holds an impressive 0 dislikes against its 16 likes, a ratio that the author has rightfully earned. This story manages to capture the essence of what it feels like to chew 5 gum watch My Little Pony. The way the author does this can be categorized into three traits: the story feels genuine, the writing is skilful, and the plot is appropriate for the show.

"Genuine" refers to the way the author has constructed the characters and dialogue for any one scene. The story balances between a huge cast of characters, characters that carry multiple episodes or movies of development. They are each unique in how they speak. Sci-Twi has a larger polysyllabic vocabulary, while Trixie is ALWAYS GREAT. While a few phrases from the characters seem to be directly inspired by things previously said in the show, the author goes above and beyond.

Every line, remark, or conversation said by the characters feel as if it could have, and would have, been used in the show if the story was turned into an episode. It's a feat that goes above imitation. To produce characters and scenes that feel like show itself requires near-perfect mimicry, and by itself can be a very hard technique to keep consistent. Yet, through the whole story, the author is able to maintain the same level of genuine dialogue.

Beyond dialogue, the scene construction is simply skilfull. Despite knowing what these characters look like, the author makes no assumption about the reader's theatre of the mind. Not only is the reader given a sense of place, but the story lays out the pieces involved in every scene. As a reader, I never felt lost or confused in this story of over 12 characters, split usually between two or three locations.

Equal to these 2 traits is the appropriateness of the plot. As fans of MLP, we all know the family-friendly stories can sometimes fall short on their ability to interest adult viewers. There may be some episodes that readily come to mind. But along with having a set-up, execution, and resolution that flows neatly like a well-balanced episode of MLP, the author manages to build on the show's dead ends and deliver a story that makes use of intriguing character interactions and conflict that keeps the reader engaged and invested in how it will all be solved.

Doubt there are a lot of good writers and stories on FimFiction, but few thus far have been able to pull off a trifecta of skills required to replicate the experience of watching My Little Pony while being much better than many episodes of the show. That's an accomplishment.

Anyway, I'd say an easy 9.5/10. Not a perfect score only because it felt so much like an MLP episode that I want to see the author put some of their own styles into it. Unless, of course, they're secretly M.A. Larson and have been writing for the show this whole time.

6973978
Could you do a review for a story of mine? It's short. 3k words at most.

6973981
As much as I would like to, since it's so short, I don't have a lot of time so I'm setting a rule for myself. I'll post an open invitation for submissions on this forum (or maybe another review-based group) and ask for 2 or 3. I'll only accept those and then work on them. This was the second review I did for my most recent post, so you'll have to wait. Sorry for the inconvenience.

6973978
Thank you sir. Your kind words have lifted this old stallion’s spirits.

6973978
Could you do a review to a short story I wrote called the fallen prince
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/446847/the-fallen-prince

6974013
I'll say to you what I've said before:

As much as I would like to, since it's so short, I don't have a lot of time so I'm setting a rule for myself. I'll post an open invitation for submissions on this forum (or maybe another review-based group) and ask for 2 or 3. I'll only accept those and then work on them. This was the second review I did for my most recent post, so you'll have to wait. Sorry for the inconvenience.