Ponyville was a small town, but it had a big city's share of problems. Mythically-sized problems. In hindsight, building a town next to an unenchanted forest full of wild monsters and an ancient castle that was a nexus of dark powers may have been poor planning. Discord alone returned to Ponyville thirty-seven times within five years. But fortunately, Canterlot was nearby; and every time a new threat reared its head, either one of the Princesses, or one of their proteges (when the Princesses themselves were the problem, which was happening more and more often), managed to repel it using the Elements of Harmony.

But each new threat was more powerful than the last; and required discovering a new Element of Harmony to add to their combined powers. First there was the Element of Courage; and then the Element of Love; and the Element of Toleration; and these seemed reasonable. But as the threats kept mounting, so did the number of Elements needed to repel them. Eventually the town was host to the Element of Surprise, and the Element of Mystery, the Element of No-Element, and many more Elements whose connection to friendship was even more obscure.

Buttercup lived in one small room of a small apartment building on a small street in Ponyville. She tended a small garden in the small backyard, and had small but pleasant aspirations. She was the last pony in Ponyville not to be an Element of any kind, and that was fine with her.

But one day, a new threat arose; demon sheep, with teeth as sharp as knives and a hunger for pony flesh, began to storm Ponyville.

Within moments, at least half of the population has been eaten, with more deaths every moment.

The pegasi fled to Cloudsdale, but to no avail - the demon sheep grew larger with every meal, and eventually even Cloudsdale was not too high a goal for them.

Luckily, Buttercup had a shotgun hidden in her closet, and she used it to kill all the sheep, discovering her true purpose as the Element of Cute Badassery.

She then went on to marry Nicholas Cage.

But this is not the story of mythical monsters, demon sheep, Waves of Cage-Babies or a badass Buttercup.

This is a story about fruit.

Watermelons, to be exact. A story about watermelons.

Wubby was your average watermelon. He lived on a Watermelon farm and had a pleasent life. But one day, his time had finally come: It was harvest day, and he was a pretty big watermelon...

Sentient watermelons, to be specific. And mine turtles. Don't forget the mine turtles

Not part of the "story":
Hey, ever watched that movie "The Fifth Element" ?

Wubby was so big, in fact, that the owners of the farm had to hire outside help get him rolled into the barn for storage until they could take him to the Ponyville and Outlying Areas Picnic and Watermelon Contest Annual Social (POAPWCAS [pronouced "pope-wickas" {unless the speaker was fond of pony puns and called it "pope-whickers"}] for short).

As mentioned previously, Honeydew and Casaba Melon, the owners, had outdone themselves this year and needed help. So they called the strongest, toughest, apple-buckingest pony they knew: their fourth cousin six times removed, Big Macintosh.

Big Macintosh travelled to the Melon Farm with little fanfare or ceremony. Honeydew and Casaba pointed him quickly to the south field. When he arrived, his eyes widened and he said, "Eeyup," softly. It was the most beautiful watermelon he'd ever seen. His heart was pounding, his knees were trembling, and he was pretty sure his hooves were sweating. He gazed down at the beautiful watermelon, not knowing quite what to say.

"Howdy," he began.