Humans Aren't Bastards 3,812 members · 214 stories
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I shared this quote on a Christian group earlier. I got a lot of down-votes and a deletion. I guess some people can't handle self-deprecating humor. Being a Catholic, maybe I shouldn't find this funny. But I do. What are your thoughts?

"J-dawg! How's it hanging? Hey, did you check out the mighty morphin flower arranger working the gardens? Hot huh?"

Jeff thought back to the androgynous drone he had talked to, and decided he didn't want to think about Thurgood's sexual opinions. "What in the world were you just doing Thurgood?"

"I recently converted to Norse, and the Collective said I could have this little shrine of Mjolnir built, so I come out here to pray to Thor when I'm stuck on a project."

"Norse refers to a Scandinavian people and their culture, the religion is called Germanic neopaganism. How is it that I know more about your religion then you do? Did you research it at all before converting? Furthermore, why would you convert to that religion!"

"Oh that's easy. Jesus promised the end of all wicked people, Thor promised the end of all ice giants. I don't see any ice giants around. Praise be to Thor."

"Oh that's easy. Jesus promised the end of all wicked people, Thor promised the end of all ice giants. I don't see any ice giants around. Praise be to Thor."


I see a picture with that last line lurking on Facebook all the time in the pagan groups I'm a part of. It always gives me a nice little laugh.

Yeah, groups based solely on religion have no humor. It is little wonder it got locked down. I however find it very funny.

1766837 Sure you can laugh at it. I'm sure there are plenty of Catholics that laugh at Monty Pythons Spanish Inquisition sketch. I'm English and that doesn't stop me from chuckling at jokes made at the expense of the English. :ajsmug:

In fact, wouldn't not laughing at it be a sign of a lack of integrity in your faith? Seeing as such a meagre joke could threaten it so easily? :duck:

Is that even accurate? I don't remember hearing anyone ever praising the Vikings as a great warrior people, certainly not as military tacticians. In fact I would say the common stereotype is to portrait them as drunks, stupid and bullies.

A often repeated quote is that there is a time and place for everything (Ecclesiastes 3). Going Spanish Inquisition on a hypothetical comparison of God and another deity posted on a My Little Pony forum is not the time nor the place.

I do however find the whole Thor has a hammer and Jesus has a nail comparison rather offensive.

1767139 Wait a sec, you're comment implies you've never seen Monty Python before.
Damn. You're missing out...

As for the god bashing? Well I suppose everyone has their tastes. :applejackunsure:

Though to be honest, the major organised religions and their figure heads are easy targets for jokes, just like any large governments or celebrities in the spot light.
Expect flack.


Oh I am very familiar with Monty Python. And anyone who says differently can refer to this obscure comic.

It's mainly because the Vikings sucked at anything beyond raping and pillaging. Armies will defeat a hoard any day.

I SWEAR I've read this somewhere before. In some fic or other, I think.

... crap. This is going to be bugging me all night now. :facehoof:

Only because your guy got stuck (literally) with the nail. It's like the Gem of Truesight in DotA: it's horribly unfair. When the OTHER guy has it.

1766837 Jesus taught all the Ice Giants to be super-ninjas, that's how great Jesus was! :trollestia:

The meek shall inherit the Earth.
... and the Ice Giants, from the shadows, shall inherit the meek.


I'm putting that on my profile page.

1766837 Talos is better god.:rainbowwild:
...buuuut only slightly.:pinkiehappy:


1767002 Because people are (often) stupid and mistake Vikings for warriors. Viking means raider, they were pirates. Nordic armies actually did fairly well when they actually left Scandanavia...

1767098 The Norse stink? Huh, funny, the Norse were the only people in Europe at the time who actually bathed...
Also, here's to the Normans. You want Norse warriors, look no further! France, England, Italy, The Middle's a bloody world tour! (All pun intended)

1768070 Agreed. I'm getting tired of hearing things like "The Vikings were mostly peaceful". The Norse were, but those warriors going on raids certainly weren't. "To go viking" actually means "to go on a raid" in Old Norse, if I remember correctly. It's really more of a "lifestyle" than an ethnic group.
1767002 They did found the country of Russia, though, as far as I remember. First capital being in Kiev, it was established as a major city by warriors from Sweden. Unlike the other countries colonized by the vikings, this country didn't stay "scandinavian" for that long, as the immigrated Swedes eventually got more or less assimilated by the native Slavian population.
(There are other theories on the origins of Russia, but I think this is the most widespread and accepted one.)
1771167 Don't forget Russia and a big part of eastern Europe, as well. They even made up an elite guild of the Emperor of Constantinople.
1770678 Talos, Hephaistos' golem?

Everyone knows that Celts > Vikings & Saxons.

Thor promised the end of all ice giants. I don't see any ice giants around. Praise be to Thor.

Sounds reasonable to me!

1771437 I never forgot the Rus. It's just that I am proud of my Norse ancestry and thus focused on that...

1772462 Ah, I see. I'm somewhat removed from internet-culture, I try not to wade too far into the pool, lest I get swept away but the currents of...the brain-dead. :applejackunsure:

1772420 The Celts were indeed good warriors, but comparing them to the Saxons is not saying much, and again, the Vikings weren't warriors.

1772529 Yes and no. Explicitly it means to go on an expedition, but in all reality, it meant to go raiding. Even wiki has it right.. Etymology of the word VĂ­kingr.

1772529 That was probably Leif-Erik or his company of warriors, I guess?

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