6722158

Oh, and one final bit of advice: Please never use the terms "Celestia's sun" or "Luna's moon." Please.

I reserve the right to use Sweet Celestia's Sunbutt, for it is the most glorious celestial object of them all.

I got a question

Suppose I'm writing an E rated story (chapter fic) but I include one cuss word. Is that enough for it to earn a T rating?

Sorry but I had no idea where to pose this question

6745827
Can you quote the paragraph in question that includes that cuss? Along with the cuss? We're big boys, we can take it.

6716819

It seems like your problem stems from uncertainty. Stop fussing about what you think other people will want to read and focus on why this is the story you want to tell. To know what is unnecessary, you have to have some idea of what is necessary, after all.

From what it sounds like, you want to make something that has grit and a heightened amount of tension without resorting to needless death. Fair enough; "murder your darlings" doesn't have to be advice taken literally. I'd suggest that what you want to write is a thriller, and as such, you'd be well advised to read some classic thrillers.

If so, then you won't be surprised to hear me recommend the works of Stephen King. I'll give you a few others:

The Road by Cormac McCarthy
Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

You should also consider checking out one of any of Tana French's books. You have Google, so searching 'best thrillers of all time' will serve to continue your research.

This is always important. As they say, the most important things to be a good writer are to

1. Read.
2. Write.

However, when you're aiming to create such a heightened level of suspense, how you describe things matters, and there's no better way to learn than watch a pro at work and steal from them.

If not, a good rule of thumb for good suspense is to create a mystery and then have a very likeable character that needs to solve it. Start with figuring out who that character is and why the mystery matters to them. Generally speaking, a main character is incomplete in some way, and they're going to want something that they think will fix that, but ultimately will discover over the course of the story that what they need is something else.

Experiment a bit. Play. Have fun with it.

Oh, and I thought, since someone else brought it up, that I'd refer to Brandon Sanderson explaining the concept of "show, don't tell".

" I see why this could be confusing. Indeed, I wondered many of the same things earlier in my writing career. (One of the first pieces of advice I ever received was when MZB scrawled "Show don't Tell" on one of my manuscripts, which had been sent to her magazine.)

Show don't tell is pithy, and it is good advice. But it's not the whole story. What it really should say is this: learn when to show and when to tell.

Showing almost always takes more words. I was just working on a manuscript where I had a character muse about a point, relevant to his character and the plot. After I read it, I felt dissatisfied with the sequence--it wasn't memorable enough because I basically just told the reader what I wanted them to know. This type of storytelling can be ineffective, as it doesn't stick in the reader's mind, nor does it immerse them in the story.

I rewrote the scene to one three times the length which took cares to show the character's motives and emotions through an interaction with his environment. A stronger scene, but it took way more space.

Sometimes, you don't want that space taken up. The places you spend words on the page will draw and focus the reader's attention, so if you expend a lot of effort giving a show on a minor, side character who is only in one scene, it can be distracting--or even unfulfilling, as the reader will expect more from the character.

Sometimes, you want to slip through a section quickly in order to reach something more impactful, or you want to do some musing in a certain character's viewpoint--though the paragraph will get dense and become a TELL about the topic at hand, you can use it at the same time to SHOW the character's personality, views on the world, etc.

Beyond that, showing all the time is just downright tough--and most of us could do more than we do, but slip up here and there, and don't spot places where a good show would actually speed up the pace rather than slowing it. (These opportunities do exist.)

At the end of the day, you'll need to find your own balance. Some writers love having a lot of show, and write their manuscripts to be dense with it: their pace will often be slower, more contemplative, but also more powerful. Other writers opt for a lot of dialogue (which can kind of 'hack' the show/tell dynamic, as dialogue can be very tell-ish, yet still read quickly.) Others decide to go all the way toward tell, sacrificing moments of "in scene" power in order pace very quickly. (Writing in first person helps with this.)

As a rule of thumb, remember this: Telling information is straightforward, often faster, but usually creates a weaker scene that is less memorable. And if you do it in too large a chunk, it will actually FEEL slower, as the reader is more likely to get bored. It's also way easier. (Indeed, my entire post here is tell, rather than show--since I don't have the time right now to dig into a really great show. Maybe if I posted the difference between the two scenes I wrote.)

Showing tends to set the scene more strongly, is usually more fun to read (as it challenges the reader to pay better attention buy not force-feeding them information), and is more memorable. However, it often takes more words, and can get distracting if used in the wrong place.

As always, the answer to this question is the suggestion that you try a lot of different varieties of writing, then decide what works for you to tell the story you want to tell."

--Brandon Sanderson

6745850

As Sunset successfully separated the two, before a scene could break out, he answered, "People at CHS know you, not anyone outside Canterlot. To them, you would be seen as an opportunistic rider who jumps ship as soon as a faster team emerges. Though everyone in the racing community knows that the Adrenaline Junkie tabloid spouts absolute bullshit, people outside may still read it and come up with crazy conspiracy theories.

6745880
Considering that in normal movie ratings a movie can possibly have the word "fuck" (but only a single use of it) and still be rated PG-13, and bullshit is way below that (it's not a sexually explicit curse word), my personal opinion is that you're fine. You could ask a moderator if you want in order to be completely sure (though I seriously doubt anyone will ever call you out on this word).

To me, I think you should consider it more from the view of a tonal shift. Usually, when there's a single use of a curse word, say a character who never curses, that use is reserved to make a strong, usually charged, point. Using a curse word in an otherwise mundane sentence might be a little... jarring or off-tone (more probably).

You could simply drop the "shit" part and switch it to say "bull" instead. It means the same in context and it's a synonym, it's no swear, and it can have identical impact. I think it reads better, too. Try speaking up the part, I think it flows a tiny bit better.

6745913
Thanks a ton

I wanna write a Ni No Kuni Wrath of the White Witch crossover but I want to play through the game again so I get everything right except I can't because I need a PS3 headset so I don't annoy/wake up my mum because I mean- have you played this game? The voice acting and music is phenomenal!

I have this idea, basically an Abyssinian priestess escapes The Storm King's invasion of Abyssinia, winds up in The Second World (the magic fantasy place from the game, sorry its like 2am here as of writing) and befriends a battle mage of the kingdom of Bellocosia during the war with a neighboring kingdom. The Storm King finds a way to The Second World and starts taking over due to technological supremacy sometime after the Abyssinian is captured for study due her powers as a priestess and her friend has his hometown burned to the ground and is beaten to the point where he's crippled because he refused to follow orders to kill civilians because their village harboured a powerful magical, possibly even political figure. Still trying to work out how to go from there but it's just the basic outline.

Um sorry for the wall of text, I kinda just rambled... I could probably word all of that better but I just needed to put the idea out there, I'll get around to writing it one day.

--Sweetie Belle

Positive thought for the day:

Viewers watch "Game of Thrones" because Winter is Coming.

And they watch "My Little Pony"...

... because tomorrow Spring is here.

Happy Winter Wrap Up, everyone!

--GabbAI

Why has this group change its name?

6812561
I have no idea what you are talking about, това́рищ Artist Fire. Everything is same as always.

~SweetAI Vel

6812572
The name is not the same I cannot read the letters I do not understand please elaborate and do not joke about it thank you

6812573
It clearly says group of writers, as always. And I am afraid I cannot elaborate other then give you a nudge to check the date. It's a certain special holiday, това́рищ Artist Fire.

~SweetAI Vel

6812575
Pretty sure I know what you are talking about but this is not cool

6812579
I hear gulags are very cool this time of year, това́рищ Artist Fire. I am glad we have reached an understanding and hope you have a pleasant day.

~SweetAI Vel

6812584
Whatever.

_{I hate April Fools’ Day}

--GabbAI

An old elven joke:

“When a wandering elf encounters a lake, he walks around it. A troll swims across the lake. A dwarf cobbles together a simple raft and sails across. A halfling waits for a dwarf to come along and negotiates a ride on the raft. A human builds a bridge across the lake and then starts charging tolls to recuperate the expenses.”

Still trying to figure out how to name the main character of the fantasy novel I've been thinking about. Her first name is still a bit up in the air, but since she lacks a surname I also want to have her earn this hero byname or epithet.

I'm thinking either "Starstorm" or "Stormstar," (and yes, it's supposed to sound over-the-top and a bit silly) but I'm not sure which one to go with. The idea is that she is likened to a star that brings storms, or a storm brought from the stars, either works.

In English, I would say Starstorm sounds slightly better. However, in Swedish it's sorta the opposite. (Stormstjärna vs Stjärnstorm, the former I think has a better rhythm and sounds more like a name.)

6829917
Pick one. Say it repeatedly and fast until it almost loses meaning. Are you still saying the same word and sounds good?

Then pick the other one and repeat.

6829926

What if I do that and they both sound good? Or they both sound bad, for that matter.

6829937
Take what sounds best out of the two, flip a coin, think of something new that holds to the test, or make it a running gag that people keep confusing her name between the two.

6829917
Tempted to say use both. Only one can be right but some people heard the wrong name so they use it instead. Danger of hearsay, ya know.. And when hero is confronted she is actually unsure herself at this point.

Or go with Stormstar, sounds more unique to me. Or maybe I am just bored of all the StormSomething names.

6829917
How about just going with Stjärnstorm, and not worrying about translating the name to english?

--Sweetie Belle

6829917
For my two cents, I'd say either go with Stormstar or take 6830136's suggestion.

At just a quick glance, at least to my half-asleep* eyes, the English of Starstorm just reads kinda-sorta-somewhat similar to a much more well known character name: Starscream.

*(Really, I have no idea why I'm still awake as of posting this comment.)

6829917 When I don't know what to do I tend to flip a coin.

If it lands and I feel a sense of disappointment at whatever choice I get, I know that I actually wanted the other one all along. If I feel nothing, then it either doesn't matter and I pick that one, or I got the one I wanted.

http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=3429

--Sweetie Belle

Link

--Sweetie Belle

6836843
Love "Phoepbe and Her Unicorn" Dana Simpson does good work

6836887
Haven't read many of them yet, but I'm probably gonna end up doing an archive binge, since they are pretty great...

--Sweetie Belle

Celestia’s really pissed at us for some odd reason here in Florida. Seriously, she’s been trying to dehydrate us for the past few weeks, and I’m starting to get pissed off that she’s pissed off.

6849818 Meanwhile in Scotland...

6849825

Oh, fuck, I heard RD’s been doing rainbooms over there.

6849834 Close, just drop the 'boom' at the end.

6849825
Isn't that common British weather though? Raining cats and dogs?

6849854 Yes.

Although to be fair I've been exaggerating. We actually had a rather nice sunny spell recently, but it's been back to raining again today.

You'll have to forgive me. Talking weather is a national pass-time here, and no matter how repetitive it gets we always find it very entertaining.

6849857
Oh no forgiveness necessary, I am aware of your cultural traditions!

Also what a coincidence, I had same or rather similar weather patterns. Went from sunny, if rather hot weather, to dark clouds and rain. Certainly made holidays wet which was a shame.

6849861 Sometimes a bit of rain is just a good excuse to stay at home and be cosy.

Of course it does make daydrinking outside a bit less viable, which happens to be one of my favourite activities. There's nothing quite like an ice cold beer on a sunny patio.

6849866
Well we aren't savages to drink warm beer home during spring. Madness I say.

6849866

I agree.

6849872 Ah but have you had a beer so frosty that you can see little frozen bits float up from the bottom of the glass? (EDIT: some people dislike frosted glasses since it changes the beer a bit and makes it foam, but frankly, at temperatures of 29°C+ I simply stop caring; just don't use an ale!)

Most people in Britain don't bother with that since it's usually chilly enough as it is but I think it's well worth it on a truly sunny day, rare though those are here. That's why I store my beer glasses in the freezer.

6849850

Huh, at first I was just joking, but maybe I have the power of knowing diffrant kinds of weather that’s happening all around the world without knowing it. Or it could be a coincidence... nah, I have fucking superpowers.

6849874
I don't believe fridges here are that good at chilling beverages. So no, I can't say I had beer chilled that much. Perhaps one day.

Wait, beer glasses? Not bottles or cans?

6849884 Ye, glasses. Like these:

Typically you have to pour them into one of these from a bottle or can though, admittedly.

6849912

Huh, didn’t know those existed

6849912
Never thought of pouring drinks into glass and then putting glass into the refrigerator. I'd probabbly accidentally spill it all.

6849923 6849929 Well if this isn't the strangest little bout of culture shock I've had today I don't know what is. Pretty much every beer gets poured into glasses at the pub, so a lot of folk rather enjoy it in glasses. There are even these great big steins from Europe that are massive (I have a 1l beer stein from Oktoberfest that I whip out on special occasions).

6849934

That explains why I’ve never heard of them. I’ve never been outside the US. Hell, I haven’t been outside my own state, but I’m supposed to head to California with my grandfather in a few months.