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This should be good.

Mine has to be:

"I like to eat bricks with my mailbox cereal, Applejack!"

"Twilight hadn’t given it much thought last night when she let the pair into the library. Her brain had been on auto-pilot and hadn’t registered anything more than the additional house-guest. Now however, panicked awake by the shouting and loud smacks, her brain was mostly running…or so she thought. She wasn’t entirely certain how to process Daring Do straddling her uncle. A fictional character was straddling her uncle."

Probably got worse ones but I'd have to track them down.

"Stuff," "happened," and variations thereof.


"Aha!" said Silverspoon, jumping up so high her monacle and top hat fell off, because that was what she was wearing. "Now you will die, and Celestia will make me the next alicorn princess in your place!"

And then she saw it. A small, cylindrical shaped creature slid out from the back of the bookcase Rarity stood in front of. It was lavender, kind of like Twilight. It wore Twilight’s face and horn, kind of like Twilight. It had Twilight's cutie mark and tail, kind of like Twilight.

It was Twilight. But it was also a worm.

Currently in my WIP fic:

"Really? Jerry? Your name's Jerry?"
"Fuck you, what do you want from me? Z-dog the Rape Master?"

"Don't talk to me about 9-11 while I'm jacking off."

"It's not the hymen in the vagina that matters; It's the hymen in your heart."

As you can see this is going to be my true masterpiece for my ascent to number one on FimFic

"Luna thought about what he said for a moment. 'The Freeing One' reared his head back and cackled. He pressed the button to shock Luna. "No! Don't dddooOOOOOOOOO AHHH!!"

The electricity running through her body could be seen by anyone in Equestria. The radiation itself could marvel that of Celestia's mother. The energy was so powerful it defied all laws of physics known to pony kind. It could have powered all of Equestria for a length of uncountable time.

Luna's entire body shook furiously. The electricity used Luna's horn as an escape route. The energy was too concentrated to explode, everything it touched into plasma. The air, the roof of the cave, the building above, and the clouds. Ponies once thought space to be nothing, but it to was also turned to white hot plasma.

Upon leaving the atmosphere the electricity traveled many times the speed of light, into the dimension of 'Double Rainboom.' It turned into a Red-Matter Black Hole. It destroyed the dimension in an instant, then exploded. The resulting explosion ripped a hole in time and space, and the fourth wall, allowing for this joke."

4699768 I started writing a spin on the Changeling attack from the Royal Canterlot Wedding that would've traumatized a guy (HiE) cause he just had to go to Canterlot with Vinyl. I don't know where it came from but I just couldn't get it past chapter 1. Maybe I could try to pick it up again after rewatching a few episodes and going over the parts of importance for characters involved that are contained in the comics but it's been a long time and that sounds like too much work at this point. I had an idea and just winged it so... yeah...

I also came up with one that had Luna riding a car like a parade float first thing in the morning :trollestia:
Lotta people read that random idea...

Pinkie nodded her agreement at barely subsonic speeds. "After the fireworks ended, I was just telling you how super duper awesomely terrific the show was, especially the finale! I was saying how much I love it and how we need to throw Firefly a big 'Your show was awesome. Thank you for spending all year on it so we could watch things go BOOM' party! I'm going to need to order some REALLY big banners and bake a cake that looks like fireworks. I think candy canes might work, and it might be cool to steal some of Luna's hair again and blend it in with some frosting to make it look like the night sky! I could probably just borrow some more from Pipsqueak's secret 'Princess Luna' shrine. I asked you what you thought, but you were making a face like my parents used to when they were trying really super duper hard to pretend I wasn't talking. You don't usually ever do that though, so I got worried and told Dashie..." After what seemed like a small eternity, the pink ball of energy that was Pinkie Pie finally took a breath. Somewhere high in the mountains, oxygen was completely displaced for an entire second until she finally asked, "Are you alright?"


"I'm sorry, Bertha!" Apple Bloom slowly moved her hoof against the cow's cheek. "I just need to see if cow ridin' is my destiny!"

Bertha immediately stood upright, making poor little Apple Bloom fall straight on her back. "Oh..." Bertha said. "I'm sorry, I thought for a second that you were going to suddenly grow a giant--"

"That's racist!"

The two separate (and definitely not equal) species stared onward as a third, and not welcomed occupant of the conversation now entered the airspace.

"PETAO officials..." Apple Bloom muttered underneath her breath, while the hairs on her spine stood on end.

Apple Bloom only wanted to ride a cow! Apparently that's racist.

I'm Normal

I'm not 100% sure if this was really the weirdest thing I've written, but it was the first thing that came to mind. Oddly enough it wasn't from an MLP fanfic.

Person A: "... What is that?"
Person B: "Cereal."
A: "No, I meant what's on the cereal."
B: "Ketchup."
A: "You know cereal doesn't go with ketchup, right?"
B: (scoffs) "Everything goes with ketchup."

EDIT: Actually, wait, no, the weirdest thing I have ever written was an anime-style fight with Dr. Phil.

... Yeah, don't ask, :facehoof:

Pretty much all of Scootaloo and Celestia: Adventures in Twilight's Gall Bladder.

Don't make me write the first LickyFlitter Reverse Centaur clop.

Mine would be

"Discord come down from that tree"

"Not until you promise we'll go home!"

4699768 Well, here are a couple that stick out in my mind:

"Whatever you do... do not make me do the Pony Pokey violently!" ~Cheese Sandwich

This exchange was really random, even within the story:

(Luna) "Celestia, are you in the body that reminds me of... those chips covered in cheese?"

Tomato raised an eyebrow. "You mean nachos?"

"Yes, those."

"Forgive me, Your Highness, but... why did you think of nachos specifically?"

"I saw a spilled plate of them at the fairgrounds, and they've been on my mind because I am hungry."

(Celestia) "Well, in any case, yes, I am Nacho Pony."

"You shot me in the boob!" - Rainbow Dash

Presented without context. I never imagined myself writing that, it just panned out that way. And it is totally innocent, too.

My most random thing would be Pinkie breaking the walls of the multiverse to build Olaf from Frozen :pinkiegasp:

"Hey, guys, look!" Pinkie called from behind.
Twilight, Luna, Trixie and Applejack stopped trotting and turned to her. Pinkie was standing next to a sow figure she had made. It had a long head, two wooden...hands? It also had a carrot nose, two coal eyes and coal buttons on it's torso.
"I made a snow statue that looks similar to your human friends, Twilight! I call him, Olaf." Pinkie turned to the snowman. "Hey, Olaf! Say 'Hi' to my friends." Pinkie then moved the snowman's arms and spoke for him with a slightly different voice. "Hi! I'm Olaf. And I like warm hugs!"
Twilight sighed. "Pinkie, stop messing around! Come on. We have to keep moving.
"Awww! Okay. Goodbye, Olaf!" Pinkie left the snowman and jumped happily towards Twilight. "You know? In some other dimension, Olaf may be a living creature!"
In 'some other dimension'
"AAACHO!" Olaf sneezed.
An orange-haired teenage girl walked past the living snowman. "Hello, Olaf. How are you doing?"
"I'm fine, Anna. But just a few seconds ago, I sneezed without any reason. I only sneeze when smelling flowers. But this time I didn't. Does this sneeze mean I have some kinda disease?!" He finished his statement with a terrified tone.
Anna giggled. "No, Olaf! You're fine. A sneeze without a reason just means that somewhere, someone mentioned you."
"Ooohh. Now that's interesting! I wonder who is he...or who is she!"
Back in the Crystal Mountains, the alternate Equestria
"AAACHO!" Pinkie sneezed.
"Pinkie, dear, if you need a second scarf, I have an extra one in my saddle bag," Rarity magicked her saddle bag open.
"No, no. I'm fine. That sneeze was just because somewhere, somepony mentioned me!"

Mine was Scootaloo learning how to rocket jump.


A grin snuck up on Celestia’s face. ”Unless you don’t refuse to mind the hesitation of passing up the foiling of non-withdrawing inactivity versus the lack of the contrary against its void annulment by not rejecting absence of its reverse opposite, I'll just go ahead and take the initiative. You don’t disagree, do you not?”

I wrote a story about Twilight's castle being a reincarnated Golden Oaks. I'm still not sure why. :rainbowhuh:

Most random thing I've written? I've written fics around random concepts, but actual lines?

Well, I'm sure I've written a few somewhere in them.

I think this might be my best one:

"So apparently I'm in a self insert."

There's also this, which requires a tiny bit of context (or not, seeing that it's simultaneously the title of its story):

(An AU in which their world has been transplanted onto our own geography and much of our history.)
"And that's how Amareica was made!"

From a sequel of the above:

"Oh, Twilight Sparkle, it's the Fourth of July! Away with the petty nonsense of history and historical accuracy!" Luna took out a large parchment of rolled paper, unraveled it, and levitated it in front of Celestia's face. "Look, sister, read it! Our Declaration of Independence!"

Celestia was surprised with her vision suddenly blocked. "Um, Luna, how old is this document?"

"It's a personal copy I've kept since 1776!" Luna began rubbing it over Celestia's muzzle as if smoothening out creases. "Preserved in perfect condition by use of spells! Can you smell it, Celestia? The smell of freedom! So much freedom! I also have a copy of the Constitution with me! Shall I rub that in your face as well?"


"I think there may be something wrong about those candies...”

“Like the fact that Tootsie Flute just bit through Pipsqueak’s carotid artery to get those you threw away?”

In accordance to the family’s best tradition, I should now get a spear and cut their balls off. I run towards the body and reach my hoof to check something...

Fuck tradition. It’s a mare.


“I couldn’t agree more,” Daring said. “Fluttershy, before all Tartarus breaks loose around here, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you. I wanted to say it before, but I could never find the right time, you know? And being frozen in carbonite gives a pony a lot of time to think,” Daring rambled.

Fluttershy helped Daring stand up slowly, leaning against the chamber wall for support. “I’m not sure that now is the appropriate time,” she said, flushing. Her wings flared a bit, and she looked around the room trying to anticipate the slightest obstacle to their escape.

“Maybe not, but with this war, and the rebellion and everything, when is there ever going to be the right time?” Daring stomped a hoof. “Fluttershy, I need to know… did you remember to pick up chicken feed at the market today?”

Although that could easily be coupled with (from the same story):

“I’m just doing my job,” Fluttershy said as evenly as she could. “Don’t think of me as the First Lady,” Celestia knows I don’t, she thought. “Right now I’m just your doctor.”

Twilight’s screams joined those reverberating in the air of Eqeustria. The sounds of orgasmic bliss saturated the very sky, sparking together in the most primal form of love and harmony. Ancient magic woke from its long slumber, and a kaleidoscope of colors stretched over the land.

The meteor tore through it like a drunken minotaur in a whorehouse of breezies. It had annihilating to do.

Somewhere in the rocky terrain outside of Ponyville, a Diamond Dog lifted a boulder and poked his head out. “What the devil are you ponies doing up—oh, shHIIIII—!”


Comment posted by Hibernating Lizardman deleted Sep 9th, 2015

4699768 I'll let this chapter title speak for itself:

Dairanto Kaiju: Gojira vs 007

I think I posted my most random idea one time in this forum and somebody wanted to steal it for an actual story. :rainbowlaugh: Something about Carrot Top, Berry Bunch, and others getting into a fiasco over a TV show being cancelled.


You may want to watch this:

4699768 "Shadow, why is there a tiny pink pony here that could give a guy diabetes just by looking at him?"

Comment posted by Spirit Guide deleted Sep 10th, 2015

Beep beep, motherfuckers, I'm a house.

4699768 I did this thing where Twilight tried to write fanfiction with Spike.

Rainbow Dash licked Twilight's cheek.
"Rainbow Dash! Why did you do that?"
"You're my marefriend now. I licked you. Now you're mine."

- Regicide Squares

Don't have anything from ponies, but I do have this gem:

Next I'll walk on water... or dragons! Dragons are cooler than water.

Although in hindsight, while I did technically write that, it was on my steam profile and I was quoting myself from a L4D marathon with some friends (after picking up all three other people and taking down a swarm at the same time).

I miss L4D... :fluttershysad:

Group Admin

I'm going to have to ask you to remove the links to your own stories. Self-promotion isn't even allowed in the comment replies of The Writer's Group. Please refer to this comment from a recent PSA thread for more information.

4699768 "If I chewed a gum for 10 minutes, a pegasus will come crashing down." Celestia yelled.

Wait, that's a sign of Tourette Syndrome isn't it? Well guess what, I have it too!

4699768 The Cutie Mark Crusaders easily catching not one, but two gargoyles, who are both taller and stronger than them.

Actually, the entire fic that's from, Of Night and Stone, can be considered the most random thing I've ever written, as it focuses on shipping Maud Pie together with Brooklyn from Gargoyles.



Let go of your inhibitions, let go of your stress
It’s time to have a little fun and do so with finesse
You’ve got to take a little time; to deny is a crime
Come on everypony and wrap your hooves;
Come on, it’s hug time.
Come on, it’s hug time.

Every mare and stallion knows you gotta let it go
Even colts and fillies, when asked, will tell you what they know
Just relax and let your body move to the rhythm and the rhyme
And when your good and ready, well,
Come on, it’s hug time.
Come on, it’s hug time.

4699768 and casually remarked about her sister's cake eating habits: "The plot thickens."

4700007 So... many... negatives! :applejackconfused:

4700401 That story was great, and so, so meta. :rainbowlaugh:


4700140 That's an interesting and slightly disturbing analogy,

4699768 I wrote a story where spike and twi smoke weed for science.

Pretty much anything in my story "I AM DEATHNIGHT HORSESHOE"
But here are some favorite lines:

"Yes," said Princess Twilight Sparkle. "You see, even though we are perfectly capable of defeating King Sombra, because of our track record of defeating villains like Nightmare Moon, Discord, Queen Chrysalis, King Sombra, Sunset Shimmer, Lord Tirek, and The Dazzlings, we can't because reasons and so we are placing our trust into you, Deathnight Horseshoe, even though by all logic, we shouldn't even know you exist, and by extension, we shouldn't be so immediately trusting of you."

"It's not my fault that I am so mind-numbingly attractive, lasted for an hour in bed, and have a huge dick," I say.

"Argh!" I say as the Elements of Harmony sent me flying to the moon. But, my awesome alicorn powers were so awesomely powerful, that I had managed to outpower the most powerful form of magic in Equestria and return back to the outskirts of Canterlot.

Group Admin

Yes, srsly. I believe I've been fairly consistent about it since that PSA thread was posted...


As they got down to it amongst the rubble, a group that consisted of four ponies watched them rut through an open window, exchanging glances with each other as a flow of bits passed between them.
“Aw, shoot,” Applejack said, her trademark stetson being pulled over her eyes so she didn't have to witness the debauchery. “I really thought that Twilight would've been able to say no.”

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