Five college friends were sitting outside in the campus gardens and were chatting about their futures, but one of them was thinking of ways to get back to his kingdom and family.

His name is Levi Ackerman and he has been at East Tokyo University for three years. Levi had become the most popular student because of the ways he looks and dresses. Levi's looks highly favored everyone's favored titan slayer from the highly popular anime and manga Franchise Attack On Titan. There was also some sort of allure about him that made all the Brony and Pegasisters on-campus simply go crazy over him. This means his life is very stressful and annoying. Due to all of the attention he garnered, he rarely ever at all found quiet time for his studies or time to figure a way back home.

"Say, Levi... I have always wondered why all the MLP fans on campus chase after ya?".it is because big macintosh I have equestrian magic flowing through me and as for the aot fans, Its because I'm the real Levi Ackerman and I'm or so the king of equestrian.

“For some strange reason Levi I believe everything you said?" because back in high school, I found a book about rulers of other universes. and on one Page I found a king that looked just like you.

That explains,"so much and why the mlp fans are always after you and worship you like a god and that's the reason why they always trying to join our club?. There's another reason they the "mlp fans what to join our club?."

what's is that Levi?.its because all the mlp fans what to come to Equestria with me and become my
Family bodyguards and servants?. "You know, Levi that does not sound too bad at least you would by giving them jobs most of them don't even have jobs?.

You know, what eran? that is a good idea and it will make our, club more powerful. Oh and Barney please take these letters to every mlp club in the country and the world welcoming them to our club?.what about the aot fan clubs can they join too?. Yes, they can?.

After Levi and his lutenist's invites, all the mlp and aot fan clubs the gild club members grow from.
200 members to"90.000 members and they start looking around for someone who can build a Giant portal gun to get themselves and their grandmaster back to his family and, kingdom.

Them one of Levis lutenists mentions that his uncle has built a Portal door after.

hearing" this Levi and his friends had downtown to meet big Macs uncle Rick Macintosh, after explaining everything to big macs uncle they all get down to work reversed, engineering the portal boor so the user can travel doth ways and in the. meantime, rick macintosh give his son Morty macintosh a task of inventing a portal pen so that.

All of Levis follows can portal to mlp universes and aot universes so they can spend the word of the gild and of the house of Ackerman.

“How is the reverse engineering going on the portal door?”

It’s  almost done. We just have to add some mathematics in the computer then we’ll be done.” 

“How long will it take?”

“Oh, about one hour Levi, wall it is loading anyone up for some Italian food?”

Wall the Portal door is worming up with the mathematical codes Levi and his lutenists and followers head next door to the Big Macintosh brothers Italian.

restaurant where they drink to all their hard work on the portal door and to celebrate their last day on earth 9.

Say, Levi,"do you think it's time to get back to the lap to see if the portal door uploaded the, "mathematical codes yet?.

I think" by now Levi it must be done by now and I think the little feature you ask me to put has been updated as well?.

That's good oh" and Rick I'm making you an honorary gild member and my top inventor and scientist?.
I'm honoured, grand brother?.

After Levi makes, rick a honorary gild member they all head back to ricks lap to see if the portal door it ready.
And to send, texts to all of clubs members to get ready and to start packing up their belongs for the trip to equestria.

“Excellent  news Levi! The portal is ready and some other good news:  Japan’s emperor has joined our club. That makes our club members up to-

"80 million?That is very very good news.”

After the emperor and his family join the gild every citizen in Japan follows soothe.
Afterwords some days Levi appoints brother Michael, as governor General of all of Japan but the the, emperor can stay as emperor.But the governor general is really in charge.

Thank, " for giving me this job as governor General of all Japan," grand brother Levi?. Your most welcome brother Michael and I hope you do a excellent job ruling Japan?.
I will do my best,"grand brother Levi?.
I hope you do now if you would excuse me I need to get back to Ricks lab?."
See you later grand brother Levi and I will visit you in equestria in a few months?."

After, leaving brother Michael in charge of Japan and giving him his very own mansion, Levi heads back to ricks lab where he finds large number of gild brothers and sisters, whiting for his orders.

Good" afternoon brothers and sisters? Hear are my orders,head towards the closest parks and start opening portal doors and as you work through you will find yourself outside of" ponyvile in a florist please stay, there and what for my orders to appear under stoned?.
Yes "grand master, Levi undastoed?.

After, Levi gives all the gild brothers and sisters there orders, he heads inside and works right in too the portal, door without saying a single word, as he vanishes his lieutenants follow after him, they sore the most amazing sight it was not the old castle of the 2 sister's in the back ground. It was the tens of thousands of levieriam sun and moon stormtroopers, who where or ready bowing down at the feet of Levi himself.

Holy father"of Levi this is what, Levi meant by a big welcome" home party?.I know right"I thought he meant like a party with wine and food?.

As Levis lieutenants where speaking suddenly all of the" levieram sun and moon stormtroopers step left and right to reveal a very long gold carpet and at top the hill was a very large tent and from somewhere a horn cod be hard as the horn died away, three figures. Could be seen emerging from in the tent from what Levis lieutenants.

Could make out they look like griffin's who where carrying something but from they sore behind the griffin's was the most amazing and beautiful sight in all of equestria.

Working" down the hill was Queen Celestia herself and as Levi and celestias eyes met they "start working towards. each other as they got closer they started to speed up in tell they where running towards each other.

And as they meet Celestia' jump in to Levis arms and they sheared a loving kiss and will this was" going on everyone was diverting their gaze because they knew how private there king and Queen are.

"Um fellers" I don't think we should be watching this?.i don't think so eran? but let's divert our gaze like all the soldiers are doing, and to play safe let's put on our black sunglasses on?. Good idea Mikasa?.
"Hold lands and ladies it looks like they're are about to finish?." It looks like it armin.

As, Levis lieutenants where finishing putting on their" sunglasses Levi and celestia had just. finished their loveable moment which was very uncomfortable for some, because they had seen" their king and Queen kiss in public before because,98th time they where very Saturn and fear rulers.

"My beautiful queen Celestia"I would like to you to, meet my lieutenants ' from the other world and my hundreds and thousands of my Levieram followers ,from the other, world?.well
i would love to meet" all your followers from other world my beautiful King, Levi but where they all?. Oh they are on their way ah hear they now.
From "the woods edges hundreds of dark green portals stared to open and out from one of them, step. captain"Hange of the 88th, gild sisterhood of South West France and following close by hind her was her deputy captain ymir.

So" this is the magical land of equestria it does not seem too bad?. I know captain hange it's looks so peaceful and green and well ordered and lord Levi has been working hard turning it super perfect for himself and his family and friends and all of his subjects?.

I know ymir? Just look at the size of the welcoming, party who has' come meet King Levi, and what just a minute isn't that the Queen Celestia herself?. I think is hange and I think Levi has managed to stop her eating, cakes and she has managing to eat more healthy foods?.

I know "right ymir she has become" strong like an amazonian warrior' and I bet all of Levis family are all built like amazonian, warriors" as well and I can't wait to meet them all and I bet everyone hear in equestria. watch's fox news and other hardcore stuff?. I know hange? And I'm looking, forward seeing how badass equestria is now?.

I know ymir and I bet everyone here is so badass they smoke cigars wall not looking at cool explosion that are going on in the back ground.

To be continued on chatter one

Um... First off... is English your first or second Language?

7573103

mlp ....aot

Ctrl + F and fix it.

7573103

I was about to examine the first five paragraphs in depth, but I've reconsidered. While the first two are a dumpster fire of 'show, don't tell' errors, the third is where things get interesting.

Have you read other people's stories? Do their stories flow in a manner similar to yours? Do their characters talk like the characters in your story?

Because right now, this just seems like a troll-post. If it isn't and you are genuinely looking for feedback... You have a long way to go, and I would recommend starting with learning how a story is structured (or learning enough of the English language to be adequately proficient to write a story in English).

EDIT: Wait, hold on... This is from last year?! I just noticed that most of this group's threads are over six months old. Wow, I guess that shows me to check before posting.

7573103 Here you go:
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/213620/programmatical-editing
http://www.grammarcheck.me/
http://www.reverso.net/spell-checker/english-spelling-grammar
http://www.onlinecorrection.com
http://www.spellcheck.net/
http://www.slickwrite.com
http://www.paperrater.com/free_paper_grader
http://www.writersdiet.com/test.php
http://hemingwayapp.com
http://www.polishmywriting.com/
http://spellcheckplus.com/
https://app.grammarly.com/
http://www.expresso-app.org/
http://www.webpagefx.com/tools/read-able/
https://virtualwritingtutor.com/
https://www.grammar.com/grammar_check.php

7692002 Necromancer.