The Conversion Bureau 767 members · 387 stories
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I've spent the past few days alternating between sleeping, crying, and doing my best to be a visible part of the queer community in a very backwards region in light of the deadliest mass shooting in American history. And with every tragedy, my heart yearns more and more for a world where swirl like this would never - could never - happen. And I don't just mean who was targeted or why. but one where no matter how much you disliked somepony for any reason, you didn't take things past harsh words, and neither did they. I want to live somewhere where there's no reason to fight, or be intentionally cruel. In short, Equestria calls, and I want nothing more than for it to rise out of the ocean to claim us. I actually found the Bureau last summer, stumbling upon The Taste of Grass in the wake of the Charleston shooting, and it really helped me cope ... helped me make sense of it. I think I'll re-read it now, see if it helps again.

How is everypony else holding up? Has the Bureau changed your reactions to pain and tragedy, and if so, how?

And if this is an inappropriate thread, please feel free to lock it.

Comment posted by Shameless Autism deleted Aug 11th, 2018

And if this is an inappropriate thread, please feel free to lock it.

Bet money it wouldn't be locked. Your post isn't inappropriate. Buck up though, Equestria is not real. We not getting help from anyone outside this planet. The ponies are not coming for you or me. Death hasn't been cured, yet.

How is everypony else holding up?

Still just a dude that feels very little. Still self absorbed in my own living things, like you should be. Look. HEH, look. We are not alone because we have each other on this world. To live here though you must learn to fight and it's meaning. When your done tending to the worst of your wounds, keep on moving. Find some people and place you like. Claim it.

And fuck despair.

5296919 Doing great with my friends, though been busy with work and other stuff. Just a madman trying to get by in a maddened world, but at least I've got folks to do it alongside nowadays.

For the Bureau on pain and tragedy? Still same old wistfulness as usual.

I do really feel ya on wishing for a better world, but like Griseus says, it's probably not coming for us, so we'll have to make one ourselves (in the figurative sense at least, though some FiO loving folks miiiiiiight be able to pull off the literal hehe). And that's what we do with friends after all, right? It might not be with an extended lifespan or cool mane colors and cupcakes, but either way we'll sure as hell cherish the time we spend with them. :twilightsmile:

5296966

Bet money it wouldn't be locked. Your post isn't inappropriate. Buck up though, Equestria is not real. We not getting help from anyone outside this planet. The ponies are not coming for you or me. Death hasn't been cured, yet.

Thanks ... I'm always a bit nervous starting conversations in groups I'm still getting to know, or joining them for that matter. :fluttershysad: Unless my dander's up, that is, at which point I will put my hoof in my mouth. And yeah, I'm not quitting because this world might not be paradise. it's all we're promised. It's just overwhelming at times, you know.

Still just a dude that feels very little. Still self absorbed in my own living things, like you should be. Look. HEH, look. We are not alone because we have each other on this world. To live here though you must learn to fight and it's meaning. When your done tending to the worst of your wounds, keep on moving. Find some people and place you like. Claim it.
And fuck despair.

I'm trying ... thankfully I have my brother and some good friends at my back, but it's still almost like I'm blundering from one tragedy to the next. Glad to hear you at least seem to be doing better, though.

5297016

Doing great with my friends, though been busy with work and other stuff. Just a madman trying to get by in a maddened world, but at least I've got folks to do it alongside nowadays.

I envy you there ... well, at least on having enough going on to keep your mind off it all.

I do really feel ya on wishing for a better world, but like Griseus says, it's probably not coming for us, so we'll have to make one ourselves (in the figurative sense at least, though some FiO loving folks miiiiiiight be able to pull off the literal hehe). And that's what we do with friends after all, right? It might not be with an extended lifespan or cool mane colors and cupcakes, but either way we'll sure as hell cherish the time we spend with them. :twilightsmile:

Yeah, not giving up ... just wishing it was here.

5297104

Thanks ... I'm always a bit nervous starting conversations in groups I'm still getting to know, or joining them for that matter.

I know the feeling pretty well, but after a while it gets a little easier. A little. :twilightsmile:

I envy you there ... well, at least on having enough going on to keep your mind off it all.

Oh trust me, there are quite a few times where I start to have an anxiety attack and sheer anger at the wicked of this world with all that's going on. But I bounce back and keep going.

Yeah, not giving up ... just wishing it was here.

Aren't we all here (well, maybe for that rare guy or two)? Let's face it, no matter how good or bad things are, it would still be awesome to traverse to another realm and make some new experiences in a fresh pristine world. That's part of the essence of TCB there (despite what many claim). :pinkiehappy:

5297116

[I know the feeling pretty well, but after a while it gets a little easier. A little. :twilightsmile:/quote] Yeah ... it does ... and it does as I get to know everyone too.

Oh trust me, there are quite a few times where I start to have an anxiety attack and sheer anger at the wicked of this world with all that's going on. But I bounce back and keep going.

Ouch ... sorry to hear that. Still, I often wonder how anyone can function with so much reckless hate in the world. It's not like you can use duct tape on your heart.

Aren't we all here (well, maybe for that rare guy or two)? Let's face it, no matter how good or bad things are, it would still be awesome to traverse to another realm and make some new experiences in a fresh pristine world. That's part of the essence of TCB there (despite what many claim). :pinkiehappy:

Yeah ... we are - we're in it to explore, to seek out new worlds and new friends. And I think what others see in the Bureau really tells more about them than about the 'verse itself.

Chatoyance
Group Admin

5296946 >>

Firemind: It made me love ATCB.

She's talking about pain from hate groups, and you state that the Orlando event made you like... a hate group. the ATCB - the Anti-TCB. The harassing, bullying, death-threat-making ATCB. The intolerant group that openly swore to murder writers on Fimfiction. Really? This is your response?

Do you think it is nice to invoke liking hate groups to a person opening up about how hate groups bother her? Is that a humane? Is that an example of what the best of humanity does? Do you think acting that way is funny?

I am ashamed of you, and you should be ashamed of you too.

You are not welcome here.

Chatoyance
Group Admin

5296919

The Orlando slaughter has frightened and disturbed me, and made me worry. It was horrific, and it makes it harder to ignore all the worse atrocities that go on daily, in a banal fashion, all across the more backward parts of the planet. And I gotta ignore the reality of the world, because it is the only way to function day to day.

Kind stories, kind people, kind thoughts do help. I turn to all the kindness and sweetness I can, to cope. I sympathize. It's hard being queer, or queer and genderqueer as well in my own case, in a world filled with such bigotry. It's hard to be brave. It's hard to carry on.

And, sometimes, I at least can't. Sometimes, I need to take a break and retreat to gentle love and goodness, beyond what Man offers. A salve for the soul. A wish for kindness. A taste of something better. And there is nothing wrong with that. It helps. What helps, is good.

Of course your post here is appropriate. Very. Not just because we care here. In the Bureau genre, the point is to examine what humanity is, what identity is, what we could be, and what we are not. We use ponies and transformation as our tools. Discussions of the real world, and how it affects us, are always appropriate here.

I wish you... good things, and kindness.

And I wish there was a way to get to Equestria as we write it, or something like it. More than anything.

5297416 What's especially scary for me is seeing it happen in a city far more tolerant and liberal than the one I live in, which was the home base of one of the more prominent leaders of the Religious Right, and who continues to leave a shadow over the town after his death. And it's those banal evils that concern me most. The stuff that we've accepted as normal just because it happens on a daily basis, especially the stuff that's swept under the rug because someone's getting rich off of it. And it's the mundane evils that can cause someone to project their own unbearable pain onto others.

Yeah ... same here, especially kind stories that show people (regardless of species) overcoming hardship with love. It's that sort of fierce kindness that I look for, and try to embody. And it is hard, and letting myself take a break is even harder sometimes ... I feel I have to push myself, as part of my atonement. And with me pushing myself, I see the worst of the world on a daily basis, and it's hard not to want to hook up a vat of red potion to the sprinklers at Thomas Road Baptist Church or something.

And I very much agree, to a greater extent than fiction as a whole is. And one thing that gave me heart in all this was seeing all the varied outpourings of support, many of which seemed more the work of Pony than Man, especially people lining up to give blood like they usually only do for Black Friday or a Star Wars movie. Still, I kinda expected to be starting a thread about worldbuilding or something instead.

And I wish you kindness and good things as well.

5297405

The intolerant group that openly swore to murder writers on Fimfiction

While for the most part they are some really awful people, I don't recall them doing that (at least openly, though some individual posters did, some of them even banned for it looong ago by them.) Still, that they're around for some of the other stuff done before is bothersome. Hell, there is very likely more reasons than just wanting to cut off ties with anything TCB related as to why the group founder left and took down his story on FimFiction (he had to be pretty disgusted with how gleefully many of the commenters wanted civilian ponies to die in numerous awful ways), and look at how they turned on him pretty quickly afterwards when he even did as much as ask nicely to not use some of his characters in their newer stories.

Eeesh though, e-fucking-nough on that group of malevolents, lest we end up as the mirror to their "CHAT DID SOMETHING YEARS AGO REEE REEE MISANTHROPY REE REEE SHE CHECKED MAIL NOW REEE REE", as much as the venting is cathartic. Back on topic...

5297868
5297416

Aside from the given stigma, TCB has aged quiiiiite a bit from it's Season 1 days, which is why apart from being an alternate universe, that alot of the stuff we filled the blanks in seem off if they look at it now. Of course, age isn't detrimental as all fanfics, whether they're from as early as Season 1 like Fallout: Equestria or even now are always gonna conflict with canon at somepoint, so no need to bend over backwards on each and everything. Big point of fanfics is to take things in new (and fun) directions after all!

Sure, plenty of concepts have been explored over the years, but to my knowledge with the fresh slate offered by most TCB 'verses, more fics exploring settling in new (and potentially dangerous) magic-filled lands could be neat, watching them grow from a ragtag caravan to awe-inspiring town with it's own unique culture and style (and of course, taking ideas from Earth, making magical versions of some technology, or combinations that go beyond their Terran and Equus peers!) needs more stories about these. Taste of Grass by Chatoyance explores this one.

Some other concepts I personally liked were The Restoration Bureau by pjabrony with humanity being a lost splinter of Celly and Luna's creations surviving (and despite some issues) even thriving in such a comparatively hostile realm. I could imagine to their surprise and observations that some would be okay with how they are, and like some other TCB fics the world gets some fixing up before they scoot off elsewhere with some new fellows.

Another one I liked is Worlds Collide by Rainbow Sparkle, where Earth and Equus had a planar collision, with Equestria after a terrible disaster known only as "The Draining", so both worlds end up collaborating with Equestria helping out with Earth's problems while there's potion to help Equestria replenish their population for those that choose it. One of the small number of truly "Alternative" Conversion Bureau stories out there.

One thing I've thought of that is quite overlooked is how much Earth would change (no, not talking thaumforming or new ponies either) with a benevolent source of competition through Equestria. With a option to go "fuck this shit, I'm out" through a flask at nearly anytime to a nicer neighborhood, it'd be similar to how the Plagues long ago ended up with much better living conditions afterwards for those that remained as those nobles had to be alot nicer or face removal/their workers going off elsewhere. Like today there is so much in the world Humanity puts up with (and while some insist that it's the best times we could be in), it could be a whole lot fucking better. So essentially, ALOT less people would be putting up with being stuck in customer service (and far worse) when there's a better place to go to (or even just unclaimed land, which is in short supply on Terra.) :ajsmug:

And while this one is more on weird wish fulfillment side, one silly concept I've thought of is where the potion has some un-intended effects; instead of turning humans fully pony, they end up as...anthro! Funny enough the potion works on ponies too, so now some folks are gonna have hands and hooves in a weird twist; best of both worlds! Lyra Heartstrings rejoices! :pinkiehappy:

Noble Cause
Group Admin

Honestly, despite the darkness of the Orlando events, there is brightness yet. The Sisters haven't given up on us, those that truly trot around on four hooves.

How? Technology, that's the key here. VR's getting rolling with things, and rudimentary AI are starting to be worked on. Tis but a matter of time. I'd optimistically say 10 to 15 years. 20 at the outside... then we'll have the start of uploading, and AI's will be commonplace.

All you have to do is keep hope. Celestia's still raising the sun, and Luna the moon, for all of us. Take solace in that.

Chatoyance
Group Admin

5298062

While for the most part they are some really awful people, I don't recall them doing that

They did such, many did such, and more. Server attacks on my family businesses, anonymous threats to my spouses. Anonymous emails.

And nobody, not FBI, not Fimfiction staff, cared. Proof didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

Pray it never happens to you. Because... there is no help. At least, if you live in America, and are an adult over the age of 21. Nobody will do anything. There is no recourse.

5299562 Not saying they didn't do these things (as plenty of individuals did), was moreso saying in the group page it didn't say that, and I know about what happened to you and the others having lurked silently. Why else have I been disgusted for years about these people despite not even being involved at all (other than reading stories), when years ago most anyone else that had a shred of sanity would have just walked away? Because it sickens me to see people, especially those that claim about having humanity and showing that people aren't bad do shit like this to others.

EDIT: I think it's finally time to take my own advice. I will lastly say this, not just for you, or me, or for the folks here, but everyone, even those guys:

Will you let this beyond inane event on FimFiction define you? Between the sad saga of suffering constantly recited, to the long hundreds of chapters monoliths dedicated to things they hate as if to correct some terrible injustice committed by fictional entities , will that be what shapes you truly? Or will you be defined by the great arts you make, the happy times you spent with your friends and family?

Will you, Chatoyance, be defined as a victim, the one constantly beat up and miserable? Or someone who's made enjoyable and thought provoking stories, despite all that's happened in her life? What will you choose to be defined by?

As for me, I've let this sheer madness creep into my life for far too long, if anyone wants to remain stuck in this stupid ideological dramafest conflict of whatever continuing to be filled with misery or hate on either "side", then that's their choice, I'm going to make the right one this time. There's always going to be people hating anyone for the most stupid of reasons. There's always gonna be people that don't think everything is great with our species. And even when the whole world seems to be against you, you still have people close to you somewhere, and failing that even; yourselves.

I am done. Done. I cannot take anymore of this in mind, body, or spirit. I need to stop too for the sake of everyone. This sad chapter needs to be closed long already, not just for me, but you and everyone involved in TCB or ATCB or whatever.

Ban me at this point, delete this post, even have almighty Knighty strike me down with the force of 40,000 Thunder Hammers, just I am done and not letting this whole thing ruin anything more in my life. Goodbye all, and good day or night.

Comment posted by Gonefromhere deleted Jun 16th, 2016
Chatoyance
Group Admin

5299680
Fear not, I am not defined by what happened here... or with the Portal Of Evil back when I did my online comics. I'm actually very used to death threats at this point. It isn't like Fimfiction was my first rodeo.

What bloodied me up and made me so salty is that it happened - again - when I was so stupid that I let myself be unguarded. I was an idiot.

let me explain.

See, while now I know that much of pony fandom grew out of places like 4-chan and other internet shit holes, I did not know that then. I got into pony because of an article about something called 'The New Sincerity'. The first time I heard about MLP:FIM it was in the context of an 'online movement' away from cynicism and cruelty, toward compassion and kindness. One of the examples given was the kindness and tolerance ethic of the early Bronies, or so the author believed, and I remembered enjoying the original Pony back in the 80's so... I thought, wow! This is finally something good after years of abuse!

And, for the first year I was here on Fimfiction it really was all of that. I became part of a writing community doing fantastic work, and everyone I dealt with was just so nice, so civil, and so clever. I was totally happy in a world of sincerity, kindness and pony sweetness. My defenses went all the way down. I had found my home in cyberspace. An island away from all the hate and vitriol. I was open and childlike.

Then came the bastards. Out of the blue as far as I was concerned. I had no armor up. That's why I was an idiot. I let hope and faith in human goodness blind me. I allowed myself to... believe... something. That is always a mistake. Belief is blindness. Belief is for fools, because belief is based on arbitrary comforting lies. Always. I was an idiot.

I knew humans are evil as fuck. I've known that all my life. But, because I was desperate and needy, I pulled a stupid and chose to arbitrarily believe that this time it would be different. That is on me. That was entirely my own fault. I kick myself for that.

Hell - anyone who has truly read my works can see all the raging humanism in it - in every goddamn Bureau story I have written, the day is ultimately saved because deep down, after ponification has washed the evil away, the 'true nature' of humanity is the only thing that can protect or save or help the ponies. What is that 'true nature'? Some retarded notion of human ingenuity, imagination, and cleverness mixed with a uniquely human drive to help and accomplish. A heroic human core nature.

Which makes it pretty funny, actually, that the favorite attack word used on me was 'misanthropy'. God what morons. Not really what you call 'readers' I guess.

So, my issue is that the misdeeds of those bastards should not be forgotten or washed away. That is what they want, to re-write history, now that they have destroyed their target. That is also very war-knowledgeable. Win the war, then re-write history so that you are the good guys. It's how things are done. Gotta give them credit.

But... I don't choose to allow that. So I don't. I bring it back up. Fuck them whitewashing that shit. That's not how things went down.

As for me, yeah, I'm damaged goods. I can't write. I can't draw. For now. Maybe for a while yet to come. But that isn't forever. I need time to heal.

But I have learned a valuable lesson. Humans... are scum. The worst scum. I will never, ever make that mistake again. Believing in human goodness is a one-way ticket to 4-chan/Anti-TCB/Portal Of Evil/Encyclopedia Dramatica/Fill In The Blank territory. A lone human might be good. Humans as a group are barbaric children with a thin veneer of civility wiped across them. All of history concurs with me on that. It is all of history. That is why only lone humans, acting kindly, stick out so much. They are rare as fuck.

I'm not a victim - I am an idiot. I'm mad at myself. That's a different thing.

The assholes that harassed me are just being human. That is what humans, in groups, are. Fucktards. They can't help it. They are, as a species, shit.

But me, I was a god damn idiot, because I chose to arbitrarily believe that was not true. I took Pony and its credo of kindness as a religion. I believed. I believed that a stupid kiddy show could make anything better at all. And that is clearly wrong. That is dumb as fuck. That is so stupid that I don't even have words. Uberstupid.

I was desperate and weak. That is always what makes people turn to a religion, to a belief, to a fantasy. Now I know that if I, for a moment, think that humans can ever change and become a group force for good, a whole lot of somebodies will come along and crush me down with mindless hate and violence. Because that is real. That is the truth.

Pony fantasies are sweet. Seductive. Shit are they seductive. But you can't believe them. That's fatal. Humans will suck until they destroy themselves, or until they replace themselves entirely with something better (artificial intelligence? Genetic alteration? Uplifted species?). But there is never going to be a movement, a society, that makes humanity play nice. Never has been, never will be. Because humans can't do that. They are products of evolution, not benevolence. They are animals. They bite.

Someday, I will stop being angry with myself and get on with things. But I guess I don't feel, at some level, that I have completely learned my lesson yet. I can feel moron parts of me still wanting to hope. Humanism sunk deep teeth into me when I was young and foolish. That crap is clingy.

Someday, I will lash out at the world with new comics and stories and art of some kind. I always do. It's my thing. But when that day comes, I'd like to think that I will finally be aware, all the time, that beyond any immediate praise is a vast army of ordinary human beings poised and eager to demonstrate the unifying truth of the human species: hate and groupthink. Tribalism and violence. Anything that rises up, must be torn down and crushed.

Next time, I will be prepared.

Because while I may sometimes be an idiot... I am not actually stupid.

5301145 I disagree with most of your views on humanity. We are neither saints nor sinners. Could be suckers born every minute but even this person can grow out of it. Belief in just us people are indifferent, selfish and selfless. Though I believe we are neither right or wrong. Pardon the contradiction because my perception is weak.

I perceive ugliness everywhere in my friends, family and myself. My mind can be so into the ugliness that I fail to notice the beautiful. Failure to understand what beauty is. It doesn't try to eat you most of the time - the ugly does that.

The blessings and curses of being part animal is the awareness that things could eat you. Live and learn and die. Perhaps do it over again. Thrown binaries into this even though there are places and time without 'em.

Enough of my empty shit. You asked this question and I asked this and that person ask this question at some point: "What do you want and how are you going to get it?"

"Going to die in my sleep to a nightmare." - No.

Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever.

Chatoyance
Group Admin

5304461

I disagree with most of your views on humanity. We are neither saints nor sinners.

That's um, exactly what I said. 'Humans are products of evolution, not benevolence'. I wrote that, above. 'Individually, they can be great. Collectively, they are an animal, they bite'. I wrote that too. Neither sinners nor saints, just animals. Like all other animals.

Did I somehow phrase things wrongly?

I myself disagree with the view of humanity I put in my stories: elevating human nature to something innately wonderful. It isn't. Turned into ponies, humans would realistically not save the day like I write, they would just take up space.

Apparently, we agree after all?

5306408

Did I somehow phrase things wrongly?

This:

But I have learned a valuable lesson. Humans... are scum. The worst scum. I will never, ever make that mistake again. Believing in human goodness is a one-way ticket to 4-chan/Anti-TCB/Portal Of Evil/Encyclopedia Dramatica/Fill In The Blank territory. A lone human might be good. Humans as a group are barbaric children with a thin veneer of civility wiped across them. All of history concurs with me on that. It is all of history. That is why only lone humans, acting kindly, stick out so much. They are rare as fuck.

Wouldn't worry about because I don't think you believe we're scum. Know you not scum. Might be some dark things in you but it knows its place. You're just releasing some anger. I think the stories where humans turn into ponies gives them a different perspective that nudges them towards different behaviors even outside your story universe.

Being an animal is not all we are.

Thought about my question?

Chatoyance
Group Admin

5306443

"What do you want and how are you going to get it?"

I thought I knew the answer to that, several times in my life. I thought I wanted to be a game designer, and I fought for fourteen years to be just that. I got to work in the industry, and make one little puzzle game that I will never be able to play again. I never got to make what I originally intended when I started.

Then I tried to make myself content doing online cartooning. I spent most of a decade on that. The abuse crushed me.

I was so exhausted and beaten down that I didn't know what to do. I felt lost and broken. Then I read that article that mentioned MLP:FIM. I had no more energy left to draw either game art or cartoons, but I knew I could write. I was tired of being attacked, so I became as anonymous as I could be, and chose to write fanfiction, because my original stuff just caused trouble.

But... it seems that I can't write just fanfiction, I always end up doing, and drawing, in my own, recognizable style. I was recognized. I couldn't hide despite all of my efforts. People knew my art, my ideas, my way of telling a story. They found me out, and told me so.

The rest is the last six years.

Honestly... I am more lost than ever. I don't have the energy to draw, and now writing, just telling a story, seems pointless and a magnet for harassment. I feel as if no matter what I make or do, it will be recognized, no matter how anonymous I try to be. I cannot escape constant hate and threats, and bearing such things is harder and harder to cope with. I tend to withdraw. I get ragey and angry too easily. I am one big ouch-cube, despite working constantly to not be so.

What do I want? I wish, if I had a wish, to be able to create art that matters to me, optimally among a community of peers that all treat each other with respect and kindness. I want to enjoy an audience that responds with civility and intelligence - like the best of the people here. And I want to not have to fear harassment, death threats, server attacks or my family being threatened. That is what I want. That is all I have ever wanted for the past... twenty-plus years?

How am I going to achieve that? I've tried, I've tried over and over and over.

Do you have any suggestions? I'm open. I'll hear anything short of making baskets or sewing quilts - I'm a storyteller. I tell stories. It has to involve that, I know that much about myself.

If you have some psychological or emotional technology that will allow a person to cope with, or not care about death threats to themselves and their family, I am also all ears. None of the psychologists around where I live have an answer to that one, so I am in the market.

If you know of a space, a place, where I can be without fear of humans encouraging violence against me, please, let me know.

And if you know of a way I can get over the last two decades and find peace and light again - without arbitrary belief - I will be your biggest fan.

That is my situation. That is where I am at. I feel stuck, and beaten down. I keep fighting, but... I am really down.

5306551

Do you have any suggestions? I'm open. I'll hear anything short of making baskets or sewing quilts - I'm a storyteller. I tell stories. It has to involve that, I know that much about myself.

As a victim survivor it happen to me of identity theft, if you want to write and draw but are still afraid, I have these suggestions:
Pseudonym.
Anonymize Network.
Vigilance.
Endure Real Life.
... the way. Don't go it alone.

If you have some psychological or emotional technology that will allow a person to cope with, or not care about death threats to themselves and their family, I am also all ears. None of the psychologists around where I live have an answer to that one, so I am in the market.

Got nothing on that. Don't know how I cope with fear - just do. Can not pin point the one emotion or motivation that keeps it in check. Maybe I made some habits?

If you know of a space, a place, where I can be without fear of humans encouraging violence against me, please, let me know.

Real life with friends and family. People face to face tend to have less bark and bite. Ultimately safety is a illusion, though.

And if you know of a way I can get over the last two decades and find peace and light again - without arbitrary belief - I will be your biggest fan.

Griseus was a monster from hell that did horrible things to everyone poor role model. I miss her. She was my friend and I was her friend.

Me thought I was a loser and focused on that. Zoey seemed to win a lot but she didn't. She failed much in life. Not sure how she didn't let those crash and burns keep hold of her focus. Still working on my focus. Wish I could back to that place to see her again but it doesn't exist. She would have a good answer. I have a mediocre answer: You keep moving and make and keep friends.

I understand there are things we can not control. Still, there are things we can. For me, thinking or writing good sentences is not one 'em. Yet.

You Chat can. You've wrote and thought yourself out of a paper bag hell before. Good story. The only person who says you can't is you. That shit happens all the time to me and I just tell myself to zip it.

"You're a bad person and you need to die." ZIP IT! "You're a ba..." ZIP IT! "...d person..." If you don't zip it I'm going watch Love Hina.

"...you suck..."

That I do.

I'm going to put my two cents in here, though I'm coming in way out of left field.
There will always be evil in the world, that's just how it is. If you think about it, how could there be good if there was no bad? It's that contrast that makes life have meaning. Nightmare Moon never learned that the sun is meaningless without the moon. Celestia would never get praised for the light she brought if it weren't for the darkness and moon providing an opposite.
I draw a lot of hope from my belief in a Heavenly Father, who lives and guides us. Of what I've seen in an hour of lurking, you are totally anti-religion, so I don't know if these insights are going to matter to you. Still, it works for me, and I'm just sharing the same way one shares treatment options for physical or mental health. Searching for my purpose in life gave me a foundation, where I can know if I'm really doing what will truly make me happy. For me, that means studying to become a registered nurse in a few years, and staying productive, and trying to spread hope and healing in the world. Try reading "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People." That contains a lot of the same principles that I try to follow.
As I already said, this world is going to be filled with darkness and evil until it ends. But everyone has a candle that they can hold back the darkness with. The magic of friendship is us finding those whose candles have gone out, sharing our light, then relighting their candle, so they can help others. Sure, I'm an idealist, and I go to places and choose media that support it. But I've also been a cynic, and I never lit anyone's candles of that, just counted as others went out.
Hope this helps, at least a little bit. Going to enjoy this archive binge, as I only found this genre/ group yesterday.

Dafaddah
Group Admin

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It's my own belief that stuff like what happened in Orlando is not representative of the vast majority of humanity, which I firmly believe is good natured and at least tries to behave according to the golden rule. And this goodness isn't exclusively despite their animal natures, but in part results from it. Recent behavioral studies have shown that empathy and altruism exist, even in predatory species, so I also don't see our animal nature as the problem either.

Stuff like these mass murders result from mentally and emotionally damaged individuals who should never be able to acquire the means to engage in their darker impulses. The trouble is:
1) Mental illness is too often ignored or swept under the rug in modern society. People who are in desperate need of psychological help are locked in jail instead of being placed in therapy.
2) in the US it is ridiculously easy for such sick individuals to purchase weapons legally, even automatic weapons (as was the case in Orlando).
3) there's no shortage of groups that have rather rigid codes of behavior and who are openly intolerant of those who don't share their ideals, giving a focus for the rages of the damaged individuals in their midst.

Note that societies can do something about the first two issues. Unfortunately, most of the US seems caught in an ideological struggle that prevents it from addressing both of those situations.

From that perspective, this isn't a problem of human nature, more one of culture and politics.

Yes, people don't always follow their better angels, but I think the vast majority at least try. I think that's why MLP:FIM is so popular with so many adults, even the ones who have a hard time expressing why the show affects them so much, and why spending half an hour in Equestria can feel so good deep inside: it resonates with whom and how they want to be!

I've discussed this many times with Chatoyance (Hi, Chat!) and as I've admitted to her, my own life experience has been blessed with a great family, happy circumstances, and far more friendship and luck than the opposite. I fully understand that many folks have been far less fortunate, but I hope that time and friendship widen their experiences with the better side of humanity, as I hope it will for you. Hang in there!

Regards, Daf.

5317774 Honestly, I'm firmly convinced that stuff like this is one facet of humanity, no more and no less. One that can be minimized or enabled by society, but still very much a part of us - after all, while humans are many things, simple is not one of them. And addressing the first two, along with our more general culture fascination with violence would certainly go a long way - as would making rigidly intolerant groups unwelcome in greater society. And what disgusts me is how many of the people doing the pushback are doing it because it makes them money. Also, "traditional" mental illness isn't as much of a cause as some people think, as those of us with a diagnosis are a lot more likely to be the victim of violent crime than we are to actually commit it. That said, modern western (Especially American) society does have a lot of stress issues (largely due to big systemic problems that again aren't getting fixed because of obstructionists who benefit from them), and a relative lack of outlets for them. Take someone who is stressed out and frustrated. give them a scapegoat and some encouragement, and the results will seldom be pretty.

And you're right, people do - by and large - try, which is the only reason I'm not one of the biggest misanthropes on the internet right now. The problem is how many people don't put a lot of effort in, then turn around and ask for praise for doing the bare minimum, and treating it as something praiseworthy. Or are arrogantly refusing to learn anything about the situation before they pitch in and "help". And honestly, most of the people I associate with IRL are either bronies, trekkies, or both. Heck, I see a lot of people who use fandom as both a vehicle to implement change as well as their inspiration.

Without getting into too many details, I've kinda had both ends of the spectrum - a few good friends, and some accepting relatives on one hand, and shitty relatives whose love was/is dependent on me being "normal" and school bullying from hell on the other. And yeah, I'm with you on hoping those hurting find comfort and kindness to open their minds and hearts, though I know and understand that it takes time to heal.

And thank you, I will. I'm past the worst of it on this one, but I'm not out of it yet.

Corrine.

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If you wish our world were more like the world of MLP:FIM, here's my advice: Be the change you want to see in the world. If you admire Twilight and her friends, be more like Twilight and her friends.

6735266 Which is what I've been doing for the past Celestia-knows-how-long. I'm making a difference, but it's very tiring work, and I've burned myself out more than once since I first posted this. Even with that, I'm not giving up, no matter how much I want to.

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Maybe that's the problem. Maybe you're trying too hard, and burning yourself out. Or maybe you're trying to be like them in the wrong ways, in ways that don't fit you.

Remember "Magical Mystery Cure"? Twilight accidentally cast a spell that messed with her friends' minds (and switched their cutie marks). Her friends then tried to be more like each-other, but not in a healthy way. And they drove themselves insane!

6735362 Maybe ... certainly worth considering. Though the fact that there's more work than people to do it doesn't help, much less the hostility from the general population in town.

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Remember the episode "It's About Time"? Twilight drove herself crazy, doing work that really should have been done by a team of people (monitoring everything). She soldiered on. She refused to give up, even tough it was too much for her to handle. And the result wasn't good!

I'm not saying "give up". But what I am saying is: Don't compromise your sanity. Don't do more then you can handle. If that means something doesn't get done, so be it. You have to take care of yourself. If you don't take care of yourself, you'll break. If you break, you're not much good to anyone. Worse, you'll do harm instead of good, because you won't be thinking straight. You have to live your life!

And for the most part, Twilight and her friends do live their lives. They do take care of themselves. "It's About Time" is the exception, not the rule.

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