TGarland Graveyard Shift

• MLP: FiM
• Comedy
• Sad
• Slice of Life

Most ponies would DESPISE working on Hearth's Warming. Nurse Redheart has a different opinion on it.

• Death
• Nurse Redheart

Ninjadeadbeard · 8.8k words  ·  261  5 · 2.2k views

 
Spoiler Alerts!!!!
Initial Impressions:
It was a cute story. Full of madness, silliness and heart ripping emotions. Like an ER. Just needs a bit more tightening.

Summary:
Redheart foolishly thinks that Hearths Warming is a great time to work a grave hard shift at the Ponyville Er. We all know it’s not. She finds out as she’s inundated with patient after patient, tragedy after tragedy until she finally collapses in a room with a little abandoned foal. Of course the foal’s survival rekindles her Hearth’s Warming spirit and we’re given a bittersweet scene of Redheart’s own abandonment and origin story. 

Story (6/10)

The more I think about this story the more it meanders a bit. It had a lot in it and I’m not sure I remember it all afterwards. If so, those scenes could be cut. There is    the madness of the ER, the darkness of losing a patient and the panic of saving a younger Redheart all in one. The parts with Match Stick (don’t think I missed that reference) were heartwarming and insight providing. That could have been the entire story itself. I know the author was out to show ER madness but it became a little superfluous. 

I think the over exhausted surgeon that couldn’t let go and wanted the foals to have a better view of Hearth’s Warming was a separate story. It’s still the day their dad got waffled so I don’t think it would have mattered if he died that day or next week. Still it was a sweet idea. But gets a little lost in the shuffle. 

The story could have still shown the chaos by limiting the amount of patients or making their problems much easier to discern. We didn’t need to spend so much time to find out Rainbow was wasted. It wasn’t that important a mystery to solve given the Match Stick story.

I must talk (rant) a bit about the Vinyl and Octavia bit with light bulbs… somewhere. I couldn’t tell if they had them in their stomachs or up their butts. I couldn’t see the benefit to Vinyl no matter which way they had them. Was it to make their cutie mark glow? Or their stomach? Or.. ok I don’t need to beat a dead horse with a light bulb up it’s butt. The explanation on why she couldn’t remove them was very vague. Was it her energy was diverted to the bulb to make it glow? Did it have something to do with it being in herself?…Didn’t work in my option. 

The story really only needed one to two patients with medium difficulty to solve then Match Stick. It would have still shown the madness but focused on the main story.

Characters (9/10)

Redheart: Redheart was pretty Redheart. Maybe a little naive being so optimistic about a Hearth’s Warming overnight but maybe she never picked them up. She is mostly the strong one that everypony turns to in most depictions. Of course cannon wise we see so little of her she can have a wide range of who she could be. Overall she was consistent and burnt out by the end. 

The origin story was cute but if she was left at the hospital on Hearths Warming I think she would remember that every year. Maybe that’s why she takes the shift. 

Octavia and Vinyl were pretty much themselves while Vinyl being a pretty dense and reckless version. Applejack and Rainbow were on point. I was going to make a comment on AJ not recognizing intoxication but I literally had a call last week where someone else did the same thing so I can’t fault her now. 

Match Stick was cute and pathetic as she was supposed to be. It worked with the scenario. Sounds like Ponyville needs to set up a warming shelter at least. 

Extra kudos for putting friends in it, including me. 

The flow (6/10)

This went hoof in hoof with story. The pacing got a little lost. It moved at good clip tension wise because that was the point. It sets up a slice of life feeling. The tension increased with Match Stick making this the priority. Got strange with Doctor Honey Nut. Then it became sweet and cuddly at the end. So really Doctor Honey Nut broke the rhythm quite a bit and felt like a different story. 

In summation 

The author did a good job here at capturing the madness of crazy ER on a holiday. It also captured the emotions of a young one that is hurt or dying that needs help. It just needs to be tightened to make the tension hit harder and confuse the reader less.

Total score: 7/10

<For archive purposes:7/10>