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Jarvy Jared
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TThe Haunting of Carousel Boutique
Rarity has been keeping to herself lately. Applejack is determined to find out why.
mushroompone · 33k words  ·  151  6 · 2.4k views

Author: mushroompone


Description

Rarity has been keeping to herself lately. 

Applejack is determined to find out why.

Initial Thoughts

Horror and ponies makes for a rather interesting combination. They appear fundamental opposites—one is macabre, the other is rather not—which means that when they come together in stories, there’s an interesting meta-textual tension going on between them. That juxtaposition is what propels a story of that kind forward, and why blurring the dark with the delightful often—if done well—results in some truly fascinating tales.

With this story, I anticipate a traditional haunting, but also suspect some degree of psychological haunting, too—if those are not necessarily exclusive terms. I’m also interested in that Romance tag. It feels almost out of place, even in a story that clearly combines, again, horror with ponies. However, I suspect that the Romance will operate as a means to overcome what has often been the weakest part of horror—having meaningful, personal stakes for characters. And it may mean that we can classify this story not as a romantic horror, but as a romance with elements of horror in it—yet another example of meta-textual tension

Onto the story! Spoilers ahead.


Summary

Something’s wrong with the Boutique. With Rarity. When Applejack goes to investigate, she discovers that something deep, dark, and insidious plagues both. But an exorcism isn’t what either needs, and isn’t what Applejack can give. Love—maybe that will dispel the spirit of loneliness from those walls, that mare.

Plot

In my Initial Thoughts, I presented the question of how best to classify this story: as a horror story with elements of romance, or as a romance story with elements of horror. I will use this question as the basis of my review, in the hopes that by the end I will have come to a conclusion.

I believe to properly consider that question, I must address how this story opens. I’m of the opinion that a good story is able to present at least part of its many themes or motives by the first chapter or line. This story is certainly no stranger to thematic declarations, as it opens:

There are many who deny the power of love.

Those who do, however, often possess an incomplete understanding of the concept. If one denies the power of love, it is often because one has never felt romantic love for another, and is understandably bitter with the importance placed on romance in modern society.

But love is more than romance. In fact, one could argue that romance and love are separate concepts that only incidentally overlap, though that is an argument for another time.

Love is friendship. Love is family. Love is passion, devotion, and trust.

Love can be kind.

Love can be cruel.

Love asks for nothing, and yet love consumes like nothing else.

Most of all, though, love notices absences. Sometimes the only way to recognize love is by the hole it leaves behind, and the desperate need to fill that void once more.

Love, of course, could be a romantic thing, but in this case I argue that the story presents “love” as some kind of antagonistic force. If this was intentional, then it was very well done. After all, “Love” does emerge as a character in the story, and as the story’s primary antagonist.

In any case, this sets the story up to be an examination of love—a love between two characters: Applejack and Rarity. As is the case with many love stories, Applejack doesn’t actually realize she feels this way:

And so it came as no surprise to Applejack when her heart began to ache for Rarity.

In typical romantic fashion, then, one character falls for another from the very beginning without realizing it. That certainly appeals to the hopeless romantic in me, but what I enjoy about this is that we can just as easily say this is a romantic love as it is just deeply platonic. After all, the first quote here shows that love is anything but singular; it is multidimensional; it has layers; it is contradictory. By not settling for a single “definition” of love, I believe the story frees itself from being considered just a love story—and certainly not a cliched one. 

This first chapter not only reveals to us this multi-layered consideration of love, it also shows us the horror aspect of the story, vital to justifying why mushroompone has classified it as a horror story. The conversation between Apple Bloom and Applejack gets interrupted by the following:

Something wrapped around her hoof.

A tendril.

Thin, cold, and somehow heavy in the water.

Applejack yelped and yanked her hoof out of the water with all the force she could muster.

Her rear hoof slipped in the puddle which had gathered under the sink, and she felt herself tumbling backwards. She cringed in anticipation and felt the air rush out of her lungs as she landed flat on her back.

This is our first real instance of horror. Moreover, it’s our first real instance of the kind of horror this story will be using. The “tendril” speaks much to classic Japanese horror (in the vein of, say, Junji Ito) as it does to traditional body horror a la Stephen King. It is, perhaps, a technically cliché feature of the genre, but because its sudden and inexplicable nature, I think it manages to set up the horror element rather well. 

My understanding of this first chapter leads me to conclude that it’s able to function as a sort of microcosm with which we can examine several other elements found in the story. In particular, you will note that the distinction between love and horror has already blurred. That is to say, the idea that these two concepts are distinct and different enough to be polar opposites has been removed. Love is treated as an element of horror, based on how that first quote reads—and I might argue, if it is not saying too much, that the narrator that says those things about it is a bit like another classic horror element: a ghost; a disembodied spirit; a phantasm; something without body, without form, and perhaps with just a shred of despair or agony behind its voice. 

This particular blending weaves its way throughout all the other chapters, too. Love and horror both blur together and fight one another, creating, as I anticipated in my Initial Thoughts, a kind of meta-textual tension. For just as Rarity and Applejack are clearly longing for one another, they are also longing to escape the horror of Carousel Boutique itself. The blurring of distinct themes allows “The Haunting of Carousel Boutique” to not only explore the horror element, but also the romantic element, and moreover, examine how one affects the other and vice versa

This is to say that the mixture—the product of the story—works rather nicely. It has a good blend of suspense and “Gotcha!” elements to keep the reader on their toes, not to mention a strong sense of how characters can be placed into a scene and inhabit it. Thus, the elements as a whole work when considered from this broader perspective, and so credit must go where credit is due.

That said, the individual elements warrant extra attention—and perhaps greater scrutiny.

I must first admit that I haven’t read or watched nearly enough horror to come to any conclusions about what is effective. What horror I’ve enjoyed is, relatively speaking, not so much as physical horror as it is psychological and philosophical horror. I’ve read, for instance, the work of H. P. Lovecraft. I’ve also been privy to a few videos and explanations of Junji Ito’s work. That said, such things have never really scared me, so much as have captivated my interest. Ito’s work is disturbing, for sure, but the horror has not quite touched my mind as it might have others—and Lovecraft is an interesting experimenter with the genre, but I cannot say that the full scope of “unnameable horrors” has made me feel like I’m going mad. 

In a similar vein, this story, despite its best efforts, did not really scare me. Though the tendril was an indication of an otherworldly element, and though the Boutique itself was a space of horror, and though the introduction of Love as a kind of Tantabus creature or “grudge” creature proved a fascinating representation of the many intricacies of magic, I could not tell you if I truly felt like these things were as terrifying as mushroompone might have wanted them to be.

However, I must also surrender to the possibility that that’s because horror usually has two audiences: the reader, and then the characters themselves. Oddly, traditional horror does not usually focus on characters, meaning that the methodology would be more focused on scaring the reader—see: campfire ghost stories and the like. This story is not like that, of course. Its focus is, perhaps, less on the horror as it is on the characters involved in the horror—or, to use the title, those who must traverse the haunting of Carousel Boutique. If that is the case, then I believe a very strong argument could be made that what this story lacks in horror for the reader, it more than makes up for the horror that afflicts the characters themselves.

And I believe that is because, beyond spatial horror, body horror, and a traditional haunting, this story’s true horror is one of psychological torment. Specifically, it’s Rarity’s torment, and it’s a torment that arises out of an intense loneliness. It’s for that reason that she creates the creature of Love, and yet, because that thing arose out of deeply negative and damaging emotions, it is not a “good” love so much as a disturbing shadowy reflection of it. One thinks immediately of Freud’s concept of the unconscious and of the repressed—the idea that what is pushed down and away will emerge stronger and more dangerous than before.

To indicate that this is the case, in Part V, the story says the following:

I love you, it whispered, in the voices of loves long gone. I love you, Rarity.

Rarity burrowed into her pillow. The being followed her lead, keeping close.

I'll protect you, it said. I'll keep you safe. I love you.

It twisted her up.

In her stomach. The very pit of it. Something twisted, boring a great, lead screw into her, making her feel heavy and confused and flushed and guilty.

But the being embraced her.

And she wasn't quite so lonely anymore.

And so, despite the way her stomach clenched, Rarity smiled into her pillow. She allowed the being to draw in closer, tighter, and relished in the effervescent feeling which popped along her skin.

That night, Rarity fell asleep wrapped in her own tight embrace.

Alone.

But not lonely.

As one can see, this is evidently a series of contradictory feelings. Such contradictions fuel tension. They also contextualize the haunting in an emotional sense—it’s a haunting of Rarity’s own creation, and of her own destruction. 

Thus, I believe that whether or not you actually believe this is horrific, you can’t deny that what it is to Rarity—and by extension, AJ—is horrific indeed. As such, this puts several stakes in play which the story must try and either resolve or address. The characters’ lives and mental health are at stake. But, at the same time, so is their relationship; their love. Because of this, I would argue that the inherent psychological aspect of the horror fuels and accentuates the inherent psychological aspect of the romance, leading to my above conclusion: despite the hiccups with the individual components of the story, the whole tends to be a well-rendered horror-love story. 

To answer the question I first posed, then, I believe that the story is much closer to a love story and psychological thriller with horror elements. But it’s not singular in its scope. It’s able to accomplish a whole lot while balancing the conventions of those genres. 

Score – 8 / 10

Characterization

The fact that this story may be classified as a psychological thriller inherently suggests it has an increased focus on characters and their characterization. The fact that the horror element is uniquely personal to one of those characters speaks to this even more so. Therefore, perhaps what matters more than evaluating its ability to be a blend of horror and romance, is considering how this story uses its characters to render that blend.

I was struck immediately by the fact that this story makes Applejack and Rarity old. Or, at least, older than their canon counterparts (though assumedly not the same age range we saw in “The Last Problem”). The story’s first chapter tells us this with a small but still significant detail:

Her younger sister--though not quite as young as Applejack would have liked...

So, we know already this takes place in the future. Apple Bloom is older here, though still a bit impish. Though we can also tell that Applejack isn’t quite happy about that. In fact, much of how the story begins sets Applejack’s personality a bit “back,” as it were—suggesting not only has she changed, but that she’s lost something of herself.

I suppose at first this behavior, whatwith making AJ a bit abrasive, a bit blunt, a bit weary, seemed too much—that it might have rendered this characterization poor, and therefore killed her in a way. However, I believe we can change that initial reaction into one of acceptance by simply considering the fact of the matter—that AJ is old

Granted, we don’t know how old she is, but it’s clear enough changes have occurred to make her a bit of an old curmudgeon. Some of those changes are told explicitly. The Mane Six have each gone their separate ways, and notably, save for Rarity and Applejack herself, have left Ponyville behind. Their “generation” of townfolk has also come and gone. Meanwhile, Apple Bloom is going to university, further leaving Applejack behind in Ponyville. And finally, we learn somewhere down the line that Granny Smith has also passed on. Peacefully, thankfully, but still passed on.

As one of this story’s themes is how we become isolated even when surrounded by friends and family, I argue that this kind of characterization makes sense. Somepony as family-oriented and as grounded in her community as Applejack would understandably react to these changes, to these ponies leaving, to these lives changing into other things, with a degree of cynicism and weariness. She’s old and tired, and tired of seeing things change while she gets, as it were, “left behind.” There’s nothing necessarily criminal about that, of course, but it does paint the normally honest ‘Jack in an interesting light. It suggests that for all her ability to keep herself close to the ground, that still permits a bit of her wanton stubbornness to emerge, and perhaps be the crack in the otherwise stable foundation of her character. 

Characters change to the environment they live in, and they change in response to their environment changing. That’s a hallmark of good characterization, because it’s very true to life. It’s a psychological fact, at this point, so considering that this story is entrenched in the psychological, I think that makes a lot of sense.

That said, there’s one thing that hasn’t changed for Applejack, and which fuels a lot of how she ends up reacting throughout the course of the story: her care for Rarity. She isn’t aware of how much she cares for her, though, as revealed in this quick line from Part I:

Before Applejack could do the math on what time it must be by now, the door hiss-popped open, though not more than a crack.

Applejack perked up immediately and rushed forward, a grin spreading uncontrollably over her face. "Rarity! By Celestia, how long has it been?" {bold emphasis mine}

Evidently she cares so much for Rarity that despite the pervasive heat, the sense of isolation she herself is feeling, and how disconnected, in some ways, she feels with the outside world, Applejack is filled with uncontrollable happiness at the mere sight of her friend—and later, of course, her lover. 

This isn’t necessarily a super complex means of characterization, but it is one that feels rather natural. It’s a strong rendering of Applejack, making her different—enough to be interesting—while still grounding her in her roots. 

Rarity, being the story’s other “protagonist” (to a different degree), also gets this strong rendering treatment, too. While most of the story is told through Applejack’s eyes, the part of the story that Rarity “tells,” Part V, gives us a glimpse into her psyche. It begins quite happily enough, but hints towards Rarity’s downward spiral with, perhaps, a cliché line, but one that serves its function:

Rarity sighed.

A happy sigh.

Because there shouldn’t really be any other sort.

We see this kind of technique a lot in other works—I’ve seen it in YA fiction maybe the most of all—but that isn’t to say it’s bad. It’s cluing the reader in on the fact that something isn’t right. Sure, it may be on the nose, but sometimes there’s no other way to do it. In any case, we do get here a hint of Rarity’s sadness and, I would argue, depression. These things, which fuel her behavior and which power the haunting of the Boutique itself, are important for us to understand, and while we are able to put those pieces together long before we get this chapter, it’s nice to have a moment that clarifies that, yes, this haunting is emotional in nature, is psychological in scope, is the product, the shadow, of Rarity herself.

Rarity’s creation of “Love” mirrors her descent, too. It begins innocent enough—as a helper—but progresses into a macabre ritual. Rarity gets drawn inexorably towards the edge—the edge of what? Maybe just the edge of loneliness in its purest, most destructive form—until, when she finally tips and starts making a creature who resembles a pony yet is, in fact, only filled with all of Rarity’s negativity and self-destructive emotions, becomes the true “monster” that plagues the story itself. It is, perhaps, not quite the madness I’m used to, but it is one whose thesis is widely understandable. It is, after all, the argument of: loneliness begets unhealthy substitution. And “Love” is certainly an unhealthy substitution. 

“The Haunting of Carousel Boutique” is monumental in characterization. For such a small cast, I believe it has rendered them very nicely. Even the minuscule changes felt as natural as the light itself. These characters and the tragedy of their lives feel real, and that’s the most important thing, I think, with characterization—avoid the caricature, and create the person anew.

Score – 10 / 10

Syntax

The author makes use of an interesting stylistic choice to emphasize disruption or discrepancy. I might call this technique, “enjambment prose,” but there isn’t a name really for it, as far as I know. This is how it shows up:

Applejack pulled her hoof back in as if from a hot stove. She stared out into the expanse, searching for even the tiniest imperfection she might be able to latch onto.

Nothing.

And yet

it seemed

to suck the air out of the room.

I saw that another review of this story pointed to this feature and said it was “wrong.” Technically, yes, it is—but it’s also a stylistic choice. The point of this kind of syntax, this kind of paragraphing, is to demonstrate, dramatically, the feeling that “something is off here.” The fragments simultaneously speed things up and allow the reader to move to the next line, but also slow things down because it’s so unnatural. 

So to say that it’s wrong is only half-right and more than three-quarters wrong. When authors use such stylistic devices, it’s important for reviewers to take a step back and think about what the intent with such a thing was. If you read some of Cormac McCarthy’s work, you’d see that he breaks so many conventions—but he does so for a specific reason. Either he wants to create a rhythm that punctuation won’t allow or, through ignoring quotation marks, he wants to make dialogue seem “more natural.” 

Once intent is examined, then you can analyze if it was effective. I believe this technique which mushroompone used was effective. It’s a technique done throughout, and not so frequently as to feel gimmicky. It’s a pattern done in the heat of the moment, or of the many moments, such that it never seems to draw too much attention to itself. It’s possible to read such lines without consciously recognizing they are different, but that’s still enough to add to the effect—something is off here

Some consideration should be given to the story’s language, too. There were some gorgeous bits of prose which, one day, I may steal (ha ha)--take that as a compliment! I’ll list a few that I loved down below:

It was the sort of summer heat you could hear. Had been for quite some time now. Though the sun surely did the heavy-lifting, the work of droning cicadas, rapid fire crickets, and windless trees made doubly sure that nopony could forget about the oppressive temperatures and humidity.

She leaned in, pressing her ear against the wall beside the door.

Listening.

Waiting to hear that sound of fabric on fabric, like a sail billowed by a mighty wind-- no, a thousand sails. All tangled together. All fighting and biting at one another like wild dogs, trying to break free.

But the wind blew.

And the house moaned.

And nothing rustled.

She was practicing being two things at once. Breaking off a hunk of her subconscious and puppeting it about the room. Those parts of herself that had not seen the light of day in many moons--her humor, her happiness, her passion, her creativity--were all placed into that sparkling vessel.

And Rarity was left with nothing.

Empty.

A shell.

A husk.

And she was getting very good at it.

There are many who deny the power of love.

But those who are lucky enough to find it, the truest and deepest kind, will never be lonely again.

Score – 10 / 10


Final Score - ( 8 + 10 / 10 ) / 3 = 9.3 / 10

Final Thoughts

“The Haunting of Carousel Boutique” is an interesting clash of horror and romance genres, filtered through a psychological lens, with strong characterization, interesting syntax, and gorgeous prose that makes up for the otherwise somewhat awkward mestiza of genres it sets out to blend together. It’s certainly well worth the read for anyone who likes romance, and even for those who may be ambivalent about horror. It’s an engaging love story with just the right amount of Gothic elements to compel you to grit your teeth through the more visceral aspects, and though, perhaps, I did not necessarily get scared as I might have expected, I was disturbed—and that is enough. 

There is one more classification, I think, we can give to this story: it’s a fairy tale. And perhaps it’s a story well aware of that, since it does bring up the idea of knights in shining armor, sweeping romances, princesses, dragons, and the like. And since the story is a realm of fantasy, that seems even more pertinent, just as it is poignant. 

And more than that, it actually ends on a happy note, which is good. I feel like Rarity and Applejack deserve that kind of a happy ending. 

<For archive purposes: 9.3/10>

7589447

Wow!! Thank you so much!

I appreciate your thoroughness more than I can express. This is one of those pieces that I felt I really "nailed", and I wanted very badly to know what parts of it had actually worked and what hadn't. I worked on it in a total vacuum, not unable to speak to anyone about it until it was complete, so I really wasn't sure how much of it was as good as it felt while I was working on it. It's wonderful to see that the parts of the story I felt the best about - that is, the characters and the prose - resonated with you.

As for your notes on the plot, I appreciate those, too! I submit to these groups to learn and grow, and I'll definitely be referencing this review in the future to help me strengthen those weak points in future pieces.

Again, thank you. This means a lot to me, and I can see the effort you put into giving this review real depth and precise phrasing. I'm very excited for the next time I have a piece worthy of submission ^^ have a wonderful day!!

Jarvy Jared
Group Contributor

7589465
I agree that this piece of yours felt incredibly well-rendered - "nailed," as you put it, to its kind of reality, tethered to it, in fact. I definitely must give you props for that. You managed to conceive and execute a story with such a dreadful (in the nice sense) atmosphere without it veering into overly edgy territory.

I am glad you found this review to be helpful! I do try to be thorough and precise in what I say. Certainly I can leave things at "I enjoyed it," but I believe it is the duty of a reviewer to consider WHY they felt some way about a story. I hope that my points were not too long or too rambly, and that both my praises and criticisms were clear and true.

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