TI'll Be Home For Hearth's Warming

• MLP: FiM
• Equestria Girls
• Comedy
• Slice of Life

Sunset is enjoying a nice Hearth's Warming at home, when a certain Princess comes calling for gift advice.

• Luna
• Sunset Shimmer

Ninjadeadbeard · 5.1k words  ·  201  4 · 2.5k views

Initial thoughts:
This is a Jinglemas story, it’s very clear from the start this story is sorta cantered to a certain audience. However, that doesn’t make stories like these typical, as a matter of fact I enjoyed the approach to this one.
-Luna wants to get her big sister Celestia a gift for Hearth's warming, but doesn't know what to get her, so she goes to ask Sunset Shimmer who knows Celestia more than her.
I admire how the setup was simple and to the point to get the ball rolling if you will. Just because a setup is simple doesn't mean it's not good, and the writing in here is very well done, and it's clear there was a lot of thought and time put into this. For me, the comedic parts didn't really hit the nail on the head, and perhaps that's just me, but I'll let you all be the judge of that. I'll just say I enjoyed this little carol, but I still have things to say.

7.5/10

The heart of this story is very simple and matter of fact. This line here sums it up well: 
“Sunset, what should I get Celestia for Hearth’s Warming?”
Princess Luna goes to see Sunset in her dreams to ask her what to get Celestia for Christmas. I admired that Ninjadeadbeard chose a simplistic approach to this story. It makes it easy for “Non giftees” if you will to invest themselves in the story. However, more on the originality of this idea will be discussed in a bit. I admired how Sunset doesn’t act buddy buddy to Luna, and how Luna seems slightly desperate to find a gift for Celestia, figuring since Sunset was a student of hers, she’d know.

8/10

Princess Luna: She’s the way I’d expect her to act. She’s naive to certain things, but she’s also intelligent and thoughtful and will listen to others and adjust herself properly. I didn’t have any issues with the way she was written. Perhaps her over-reactions are a bit much in the beginning, but I really believe Ninjadeadbeard wanted to nail home how desperate Luna feels to get the perfect gift, and I’ve been in those shoes. It’s not easy, especially if your giftee is hard to figure out.

Sunset Shimmer: Intelligent, Resourceful, and funny at times. Sunset Shimmer starts off by having a dream. Perhaps she really does want her life to be normal, as normal as it can be when your an interdimensional alien from another world, but that’s besides the point. Sunset feels very real, and her actions to Luna’s arrival feel genuine and real. I wouldn’t exactly be happy about someone just waltzing into my dreams like they own the place either. 

9/10

I didn’t spot any errors within this little tale so kudos and may the fire of hearth’s warming keep you warm.

10/10

Now, remember earlier I applauded the simple idea? Well, such a simple idea has been done to death. It’s a very common trope to use around Christmas/Hearth’s warming time. Granted, I do like how Ninjadeadbeard went about it in a certain way, but I also felt there were some things that could have made this story a lot more concise.

The "how" Luna got into Sunset's dream well it works, felt a bit out of place compared to the rest of the piece. It's very easy to use Pinkie Pie as a "deus ex machina" or "plot device" because with Sunset being in an entire different dimension from ponies, Luna wouldn't normally have access to her dreams. However, Pinkie and Pinkie were having like a party together, allowing the dimensions to intertwine and allow Luna to pass through. This little thread here works, but I just felt it was the easy way out. That's not saying it's bad, just typical. And I know Ninjadeadbeard writes a lot of great stories and this part just didn't feel up to the standards I'm used too.
7/10

I enjoyed this story, I liked the interactions of Sunset and Luna, and the whole thing feels very “Christmasy” Good vibes all around. The setup is simple, the exchanges are pleasant and overall I’d recommend this to anyone looking for a good cheer.

Final Score: 7.5+8+9+10+7=41.5/50
7.5/10

To the author: Sorry, this took so damn long, but I hope you enjoyed what I have to say, and find it helpful.

To the reader: Recommended for anyone needing a good cheer. Especially good around the holidays.

Headpat worthy:

Boop worthy: Yes.

Needs work:

Notes-- I've altered this review a bit to try to help elaborate more on why I feel how I feel, and I realize that not everyone will agree with my assessment and that's fine. I just hope Ninjadeadbeard can get something positive out of this.

<For archive purposes: 7/10>)

Well, I think it's headpat worthy- I'll read it

7537698
Thank you for taking the time to read my story, and then taking the time to review it. Can't say I'm not disappointed in the score, especially since your main criticism seems to be based on Twilight not being consulted before Sunset... when that is exactly what happened and is said straight out in the story.

The next was a red-ink-stained copy of “A Guide to Equestrian History”, which, though it came highly recommended by Twilight Sparkle, contained more than a few blatant errors in its documentation of Celestia’s rule, to the point where Celestia had worked herself half-to-death making corrections.

It half-felt like you hadn't read it, if I'm being perfectly honest. Since that was the most brought-up complaint, I don't think the 6/10 score for that part feels fair.

I also thought how Luna got into Sunset’s dream was a bit forced.

Can you clarify this point? I'm not sure I see what you meant here.