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Sisters by Bicyclette will be the next story I will reviewing today. It looks like we are in for a Sombraverse story today, which is certainly promising. Let’s take a look…

TSisters
On the front lines of the Crystal War, Pinkie Pie is dying. Maud is already dead. It wasn't supposed to be this way.
Bicyclette · 3.7k words  ·  117  9 · 1.8k views

As usual, spoilers are ahead. If you do not wish to be spoiled, do check out the story in the link above.

Summary

On the front lines of the Crystal War against King Sombra, Maud Pie was dead. Pinkie Pie was dying. It was not supposed to be this way, or was it?

Content/Plot Analysis

This story explores the personalities of Pinkie Pie and Maud Pie in the Sombraverse. It would hence be unsurprising that their personalities, along with the personalities of the rest of the characters in the story would be different from what we would be accustomed to in canon, owing to the environment that the characters have been thrust into in this universe.

By and large, I found the character of Maud Pie to be built up in a rather convincing manner throughout the story. Her characterization was conveyed from the perspective of Pinkie Pie, as she was reminiscing her experiences from before and during the war. The most notable point to bring up would be Maud’s impassive and emotionless attitude in this universe, which was rather convincing. I postulate that the gloominess of the prospect of having to fight against Sombra in the Crystal War would suppress much, if not most of Maud’s want to signal her feelings to others. The emotional strain of Maud being a soldier to fight against the Crystal War would undeniably result in this. Certainly, due to their relationship as siblings, we are able to catch a better glimpse into the Maud’s character that was nuanced.

Pinkie’s character was more interesting to unravel for me. Similarly, Pinkie would not be as excitable as we would expect her to be in canon, and this was prominently conveyed throughout. We can see that her upbeat attitude was muted and suppressed in the story, though we can see minor aspects of her optimism and positivity shining through in various scenes of the story as she recalled them.

More interesting to note would be the origin of Pinkie’s cutie mark. It must be acknowledged that, in this universe, the Sonic Rainboom did not happen. Therefore, how would Pinkie’s destiny be different because of this? In the story, Pinkie’s cutie mark was unchanged from the one we remember from canon, though the way in which she got her mark was different.

This is a rather thought-provoking point, since it seems that the author is of the opinion that Pinkie’s destiny, even in this universe, would be the same. However, the author carefully shows how relatively unexciting the typically joyous event of obtaining one’s mark would be like in this context, which in turn affected Pinkie’s levity. While I do allude to this chain of logic, I was wondering if, due to the societal and environmental differences between the two universes, there would be a more quantifiable, or perhaps noticeable deviation of one’s destiny. More of a thinker, but I wonder if would this be better conveyed if her cutie mark would be altered in some way to indicate this, though granted, the author has seceded to this point by dampening Pinkie’s expressiveness though.

Now I feel ready to discuss about the content of the story proper. Ambushed by an enemy-induced rockfall, Maud was dead and Pinkie was dying. But before Pinkie was dead, she remembered the experiences she had shared with Maud on a more reflective note.

I was rather surprised by the incredibly reflective prose that was adopted when the author was looking into Pinkie’s thought processes while remembering past memories. I understand that the author was hoping to perhaps stir the emotional and reflective soup in the reader’s mind in this way, but attaching these thought processes to Pinkie seemed off, even in this universe. The prose was deep and contemplative for Pinkie, notwithstanding the fact that this was what the author had proffered for her to be considering while she was in the slow, agonizing process of dying. I found this to be a recurring theme in the story, though it was most pronounced at the start. I felt that this style could be pulled back a little to build a more relatable character-driven scene in the story.

The story then looks into three unique memories that Pinkie had with Maud, which I intend to discuss in greater detail in the following paragraph. However, I must add that each of the scenes gave a refreshing take into how Pinkie’s life had been different from the universe we are familiar with. Gauging by the tension and atmosphere of the Sombraverse from the show, I found most, if not all of the lore surrounding the scenes to be accurate and true to what could possibly occur in this warped universe.

I greatly appreciated the smooth transition between the memories, which were nicely sewn together. With a nice literary effect, the author had managed to string the three memories in a cogent manner. The repetitiveness of “She thought about [subject]” also brought the message home to emphasize the amount of effort she had placed into considering the memory, which was marvellous.

I’m not certain if the author did this intentionally, but I noticed that the depth of development of Pinkie's memory decreasing down the story. It was a nice touch that subtly showed how, as Pinkie was dying, her mental grasp on her memories was slipping away as the story progressed, which I must undeniably give credit for. Kudos!

Language

Other than a few minor errors in formatting and spelling, most notably the misspelling of the character’s name “Maud” in one of the character’s dialogue in the second memory, I fail to uncover many errors of salience.

Stance

This is enchanting tale which delves into the emotional and mental struggles of a character even at the gates of death, one that I would unquestionably recommend. The strength of the characterization of Maud and Pinkie, while initially depicted as somewhat off, and the exploration of the Sombraverse were certainly the gems that shined in this piece.

Content/Plot: 6.5/10
Flow/Communication: 8.5/10
Language/Readability: 7.5/10
Overall: 7.5/10

<For archive purposes: 7.5/10>

Thanks so much for the review!

Pinkie’s character was more interesting to unravel for me. Similarly, Pinkie would not be as excitable as we would expect her to be in canon, and this was prominently conveyed throughout. We can see that her upbeat attitude was muted and suppressed in the story, though we can see minor aspects of her optimism and positivity shining through in various scenes of the story as she recalled them.

I'm really glad this came through! It's something that was hard to balance, how much her "natural" Pinkie-ness would leak through her much less Pinkie circumstances and upbringing in this timeline.

More of a thinker, but I wonder if would this be better conveyed if her cutie mark would be altered in some way to indicate this, though granted, the author has seceded to this point by dampening Pinkie’s expressiveness though.

My intention was to get across my personal headcanon for cutie marks, which is that they actually aren't as tied to destiny as the beliefs of the characters in canon would indicate, but rather are hard-coded regardless of their circumstances and just retconned to fit the life trajectory of their bearer. I was struck by how in the Chrysalis Victory timeline, Pinkie and Fluttershy's marks are identical to their main timeline selves despite also being in a timeline where the Rainboom never happened.

The repetitiveness of “She thought about [subject]” also brought the message home to emphasize the amount of effort she had placed into considering the memory, which was marvellous.

I’m not certain if the author did this intentionally, but I noticed that the depth in which Pinkie remembered each memory decreasing down the story. It was a nice touch that subtly showed how, as Pinkie was dying, her mental grasp on her memories was slipping away as the story progressed, which I must undeniably give credit for. Kudos!

I actually intended for the scenes to not be literal memories as the Pinkies in the previous scenes remembered them (they're a bit too detailed/linear to be realistically that), but rather the omniscient-eye-view of what actually happened in the memory the previous Pinkie would be remembering with more jumbled details. But your interpretation is a lot more beautiful, so I will adopt it. Thanks for making my fic better!

Other than a few minor errors in formatting and spelling, most notably the misspelling of the character’s name “Maud” in one of the character’s dialogue in the second memory, I fail to uncover many errors of salience.

I just edited the word (which was in the last memory) to make it more clear this wasn't a misspelling, but I can see how it was taken to be one since it was only one letter off.

This is enchanting tale which delves into the emotional and mental struggles of a character even at the gates of death, one that I would unquestionably recommend. The strength of the characterization of Maud and Pinkie, while initially depicted as somewhat off, and the exploration of the Sombraverse were certainly the gems that shined in this piece.

And lastly, thank you so much for these kind words!

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