_{there's something lurking in the shadows, even if you don't see it}

EThe One Thing You Can't Forget

• Equestria Girls
• Romance
• Drama
• Slice of Life

Sunset finds a letter in her locker from an anonymous writer. A writer she has forgotten about many times before. But some things aren’t so easily forgotten.

• Sunset Shimmer
• Wallflower Blush

The Sleepless Beholder · 6.4k words  ·  71  4 · 1.1k views

Even If You Erase It
[The One Thing You Can't Forget]
By The Sleepless Beholder

Description: It’s uncommon to get a poem from someone you know.
It’s very uncommon to get a poem from someone you don’t know.
It’s extremely uncommon to get a poem from someone you don’t know you know.

Sunset doesn’t know in which of these three situations she’s in, but she can’t forget what the poems bring to her.

Initial thoughts
Honestly, when I started reading this at 1045pm at night, my brain was lagging and was extremely tired. Then I realized what the tags were. Wallflower and Sunset, and it's a romance? Right, I have to read this. Sleep be damned. Okay, okay, let's be serious. I wasn't exactly completely sure what to think of the description, and my brain, being the annoying thing it is, just started theorizing what the last sentence meant. And then it hit me, the memory stone. Right, onto the review we go!

Before you proceed, please do be warned that there are major spoilers. By major, I mean completely spoiling the story. If you haven’t read it before, I suggest you do so before reading this review.

Initial thoughts after reading the story

First of all, one of the first things I noticed was the ever constantly switching perspective. In my opinion, my opinion, of course, it was awesome, (for a lack of words because of my sleep deprived brain), because I felt that it truly gave us every angle that we could ever want to look at to get the full picture of the story.

The next thing that I noticed, was something else that I've personally never read properly in any other fic before. You wrote Sunset in with a fluster that I've actually never seen before, showing that she's just as insecure as any other human when it comes to love matters. I particularly liked the front part, where you wrote the way that Sunset reacted to Wallflower admitting that she was the one who wrote the poem. (Also, kudos to you, I write some poetry myself and I know how hard it can get when you're trying to write rhyming poetry.)

I have completely no issues with the characterization, in fact, you actually made me smile after a pretty bleak day. The way you write Wallflower's hesitance...the way she's just generally nervous...I'd even say this might have been one of the animator's scripts 😂

I feel really bad for Wallflower, though. The way she had to erase everyone's memories after every "failure"... it just seemed kinda sad. What if the information was never saved on Sunset's phone? That would suck, and we'd never see the romance that we came to see.

Grammar: 7/10
Spotted a few mistakes, although I could just be nitpicky and you had those down as intentional.

The 10^th of January would’ve been a normal, uneventful day for Sunset Shimmer, until she found a pink piece of paper folded inside her locker. She took it with curiosity, and when she opened it, she was surprised at the words written in it with white pencil.

---

The 10^th of January would’ve been a normal, uneventful day for Sunset Shimmer, until she found a pink piece of paper folded inside her locker. She took it with curiosity, and when she opened it, she was surprised at the words written in it with a white pencil.

She grabbed a flock of her blazing hair, inspecting it as if it hadn’t been a part of herself since she had memory, and then started to sign a little tune, paying attention to her own voice.

She grabbed a flock of her blazing hair, inspecting it as if it hadn’t been a part of herself since she had memory, and then started to sing a little tune, paying attention to her own voice.

“Are they really that special?” Sunset wondered as she sent her fork to the plate once again, but it was already empty. “Uh?” She looked at the clock, and saw that she had spent around fifteen minutes spaced out. “I think I need some rest, I’ve been losing track of time a lot.”

“Are they really that special?” Sunset wondered as she sent her fork to the plate once again, but it was already empty. “Uh?” She looked at the clock(erase the comma here) and saw that she had spent around fifteen minutes spaced out. “I think I need some rest, I’ve been losing track of time a lot.”

After finishing her dinner, Wallflower threw the empty plastic tray in the trash, making a mental note to take it out in the morning and went to her bed, but on her way to it, she saw her desk right beside it.

After finishing her dinner, Wallflower threw the empty plastic tray in the trash, making a mental note to take it out in the morning, and(added a comma here) went to her bed, but on her way to it, she saw her desk right beside it.

On top of said desk, was a notepad of pink paper next to a white pencil.

On top of the said desk, was a notepad of pink paper next to a white pencil.

Note: I might have been wrong here, idk.

“The closest thing we had was that tree planting project vice principal Luna organized years ago,” Applejack recalled.

“The closest thing we had was that tree planting project vice-principal Luna organized years ago,” Applejack recalled.

Note: Added a hyphen.

Sunset thought back to the poems she had read, and the rare bits where the author hinted emotions other than what she made them feel. “I don’t think she has friends.” The words almost scared Sunset. After learning just how valuable and vital friendships were, she never wanted to be alone again.

Sunset thought back to the poems she had read, and the rare bits where the author hinted at emotions other than what she made them feel. “I don’t think she has friends.” The words almost scared Sunset. After learning just how valuable and vital friendships were, she never wanted to be alone again.

Note: Added an "at" to the bolded section.

Okay, honestly I might be too nitpicky here even I think this is too much, hehe.

Story/Plot/Pacing: 9/10
The pacing was quite good, and the way you executed the plot with two different perspectives really brought the grade up here lol.

Characters: 9
The characters were on point, and I enjoyed reading your take on them. My favorite parts were that you humanized Sunset, and made her seem like any other human and the fact that you made Wallflower just so great :)

Final ratings and last comments
8.3/10

This was a nice and heartwarming story, it really gave me a few smiles after my weary day o7. Thank you for writing, I hope you continue writing more of these :)

Any comments are appreciated!

<For archive purposes: 8.3/10>

7447121
Thank you for the review! It makes me really happy that it made you smile after a weary day, those kind of things makes a story worth being written.

I fixed the grammar, they were the usual bunch of mistakes luckily

The humanization of Sunset was something others have pointed out. I honestly think she's as human as everyone else, and matters of love specially are hard for all.

And yeah, the poems were the hardest part, mostly because I needed a day of particular inspiration to even start, but I really liked how they turned out. You've my respect for knowing how to do it

Have a nice day my friend!