EMoonbug

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Slice of Life

Pharynx doesn't really like potted plants, but Princess Luna does. So what better way of getting him to stop ruining her lavender pots, if not with a good lesson or two?

• Luna
• Pharynx

Sledge115 · 9.9k words  ·  211  7 · 3.6k views

Summary

During a diplomatic visit from King Thorax, Princess Luna discovers that, inexplicably, his brother Pharynx hates her lavender. And for that matter, potted plants in general.

That won't do, of course – even if Pharynx is the new Changeling Prince – and so she'll need to teach him a lesson.

And one lesson won't be enough.

Overview

This is short, wonderful romance, with some absolutely excellent characterization of Pharynx, and a satisfying conclusion, despite some slightly awkward time shifts.

First Impressions

This isn’t exactly a long story, so it won’t be all that long of a review. But still, there’s a lot of good stuff I’d like to talk about.

The story focuses on three different time periods, representing three different stages of Pharynx’s character development. The first is after Thorax’s ascension, but prior to Pharynx’s own change. Then we see Pharynx after he’s adapted to the new changelings, and finally we catch a glimpse of him after the events of the movie. Each change shows an evolution in Pharynx’s character and an evolution in the relationship between him and Luna.

Even given the constraints of the shortness of the story, the relationship develops realistically. The author creates genuine chemistry between the two that begins with a misunderstanding and a conflict.

This is where the author really excels at writing Pharynx. Pharynx, at his heart, means well but doesn’t really know how to do well. His intentions are good, but he lacks an understanding of long-term consequences for his attitudes and behaviors. In the show, this is resolved through his encounter with Starlight and Trixie (which happens offscreen in this story, between the first and second time skip). This story, however, explores more of his thought processes before, shortly after, and then long after this epiphany, to great dramatic effect.

This leads to what is, perhaps, one of my only real criticisms; the time skips themselves are a bit jarring. The first one, by itself, isn’t that bad. The second one, however, occurs practically in the middle of the story’s climax, and it is pretty awkward. It creates a bit of a gap between the climax and resolution, a gap that gets filled in with exposition. It is, honestly, the only grey spot in an otherwise bright and shining romance.

Ratings by Category

Characters: 9/10. Luna’s characterization is solid (though her character arc may be a little flat). Pharynx’s character is where this story truly shines. He comes off as a complicated and conflicted character who lacks the emotional intelligence to fully articulate what he’s thinking and feeling, and honestly, this is perfect. Throughout all three stages of the story he becomes gradually more able to express himself in positive ways.

I tried to find a single quote to serve as an example of this, but I couldn’t. And do you know why? Because it’s so subtly spread out over the action of the story that this beautiful character development just sneaks up on you. Very well done.

Setting: 10/10. No complaints or criticism here. The story focuses on two locations (Canterlot and the Hive) and both settings nicely factor into the themes and ideas of the stories. The author uses the gardens in the two spots to provide some interesting contrast and plot development.

Canterlot’s gardens are Luna’s stronghold. They’re her place of safety and comfort, and Pharynx unintentionally violates that safety, which begins the conflict. When Thorax asks her to come teach the changelings how to garden, Luna has to leave her place of safety.

Working in the gardens in the Hive, Luna is vulnerable and off-balance, which allows the two of them to open up to each other in their own way. A friendship forms naturally, and I think the way the setting is written is at least partially responsible for this.

Dialogue: 8/10. The dialogue is great. The characters words make sense with their personalities, and especially Pharynx’s odd mix of direct boldness and non-verbal reactions do well at showing off his evolving outlook.

My criticism here is not with the dialogue, but with he occasional lack. The author sometimes chooses to fast-forward through certain bits of development and action, moving things forward not with dialogue or action, but exposition.

And yet Luna did not mind, as such. Company was company. Pharynx was no fussy companion. He would be away, for long periods at a time, even as Luna continued with her work. And when he returned, grumbling and irritated and all around resigned by his fellow guards of the Hive, Luna would nod and perk up her ears upon hearing his tales of maulwurfs and tatzelwurms and other nasty creatures lurking outside in the Badlands.

But once his latest rant or vent, always over his fellow guards’ slackness and the risks he took upon himself, had subsided, he would return to his bushes, and work in silence.

Some nights, he would burst into the garden, groaning and wincing, with his chitin cracked. Which was an inconvenience, no matter how much he insisted it wasn’t. And he would stagger and curse and lean against the wall, begrudging his duty, or renew his vow to protect, until Luna offered him a wing draped over his withers and a few words of comfort.

Other nights, Luna would sulk in the corner, grumbling about the unjust nightmares that befell ponies, children most of all, innocent and unaware of life’s hard truths. Some had nightmares whose experiences reflected their troubles in the real world, and she would weep for those who could not escape so easily. She would ramble for a long time, but she would always give her thanks to Pharynx, who sat awkwardly by her side until she'd finished.

This section, in particular, could have used some real-time narration. As it is, however, it’s not exactly wrong, but I would have liked to see some of this kind of development spoken instead of exposited.

Plot Structure: 8/10. Overall, this is a wonderfully paced story for the most part, with the exception of a single problematic time skip that occurs right between the climax and the resolution, complete with several thick paragraphs of exposition.

Specifically, though, I’d love to point out the pacing of the romance itself. The author does a wonderful job creating chemistry through conflict right at the beginning. Almost from the outset, the two characters are fighting each other, while clearly sharing a grudging admiration with each other.

From there they become friends and colleagues, their conflict fading to an easy and intimate connection. When Pharynx’s innocent social misunderstanding (in the form of a gift of flowers) leads to their actual romance, it feels earned.

This is no ‘love at first sight’ story, nor is it a silly fairy tale romance. The author has managed to create a real, rational, mature romance in such a short period of time. It’s very impressive.

Grammar: 9/10. The grammar here is solid; what few issues there are (a few awkward commas, an odd sentence or two) do not distract from the plot in the slightest.

Total:8.8/10

Final Thoughts/Feedback

Wow! I’m really pleased to have read this one. It was quite fun.

I’ve always been of the opinion that any ship works as long as the author puts in the framework to make it make sense, and I think this story proves this. The author clearly put in the work. At no point in time did I feel like their relationship was being forced; every step of the way felt natural (though maybe a little rushed in the expositional moments, but that’s a minor issue).

The chemistry really works, and it evolves over the course of the story, always building off of what went before. Their relationship is rooted in their conflict, and as they grow out of their argument their relationship grows in turn.

Best Part: Bibliographical assault. Accidental floral romance.

For archive purposes: <8.8/10>

7436077

Hey, thanks for the review! I'm humbled that you picked this out of the folder

You mentioned something no one has mentioned before, that Luna is a static character here. This is intentional; I wanted to write, for once, Luna without most of the baggage of Nightmare Moon, because I feel like quite a lot of fanfics lean on that already. This is Luna at peace, most of her issues with herself and her sister settled, and I think that allows her to shine - and to help others move forward, too

And- yeah, though I disagree on the last timeskip being a break in the pace, admittedly I had quite a bit of tell and not show towards the end . I didn't want it to drag on so, a few topics I wanted to cover had to be compressed, otherwise I was worried the story would drag on past its pleasant stride.

All in all, I'm glad you've enjoyed their little story