The 'Write an Episode' Challenge 41 members · 15 stories
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HapHazred
Group Admin

Hello there! I posted this earlier in my blog, but I'm copying in the results from there to here as well to make it accessible long-term. Many congratulations to the winners, and may much good fortune and loot come to you in thy life!


Hey hey hey, everyone. 

On the 11th of September, we launched this Change of Pace contest with the hope that it’d stand out from other contests and promote a new opportunity to try out a different kind of writing challenge, and I personally very much hope that everyone found it engaging, interesting, and a good opportunity to learn new things.

I did, however, also promise prizes, which means I’ve got to announce winners.

Because of the modest number of stories submitted (11), all the judges were able to read all entries. No one judge was prioritised over the others (despite me being obviously the best one) to fully benefit from the variety of opinions our judges roster provided. We all ranked each story (which would have been tricky with a lot of entries…) and I performed some basic mathematics to use those rankings to find our first, second, and third place entries.

However! Some of the judges wanted to highlight some stories that might not have placed in the top three, but that did stuff that some of our individual lads and lasses think is worth mentioning. We have some Honourable Mentions!


Honourable Mentions:

Cinder Vel:

TSpreading Kindness
A young hippogriff student begins attending the School of Friendship. Her roommate is annoying, she can't stop thinking of home, and horrors hidden in the dark are beginning to reveal themselves.
SwordTune · 7.7k words  ·  33  5 · 765 views

I can safely say that each and every story in this contest was memorable to me. Some for the right reasons and some for… let’s go with fascinating reasons. And the victim I picked for an honorable mention is “Spreading Kindness” by SwordTune. 

What this story does right is prose writing. The story is written from a first person perspective and sounds like it is narrated by an eloquent British gentleman… even though the main character is actually a young hippogriff from upper class society. Mistwake is a very well written and believable character even though readers might find her divisive, or rather a tiny bit stuck up and unlikable. I enjoyed her even though I can’t guarantee that you reader won’t find her to be a little bit too stuck up.

Sadly the story has problems. Quite many actually, but I don’t want to go into every single flaw and I’ll just say the structure and writing style simply didn’t work with the contest’s constraints. If the story was allowed to be written without obligatory breaks and the word limit I feel like it would have been a great story. Or maybe the story should have cut down on the Mount Aris flashback and spend the remaining word count on the conflict at hand.

Perhaps I am being too critical of its flaws or maybe I am actually being too naive when it comes to the writing quality. But I think that this story certainly is the most eloquent one when compared to other entries. Well, actually the second most eloquent, but I’ll let my dear colleague talk about The Modern Prometheus. 


 

Hawthornbunny:

[Adult story embed hidden]

I'm not usually a fan of dark fics, but dayum, when they're good, they really hit you in the... wherever it is dark fics hit you. Gallbladder, maybe. The Modern Prometheus was my top pick for the contest for the sheer quality of its writing, a tale that lures you in with a tragic and untimely end to Rainbow Dash's dream of flight, and delicately numbs you to the unfolding horror until it's way too late to back out.

What made this fic work for me is Rainbow Dash's narration of the events, which - ironically - is what didn't make it work for everyone else. The Dash of this story doesn't have the voice of the Rainbow Dash we know and love, but I took this as a stylistic choice that simply ups the creep factor by making everything in the fic seem not quite right. Which it isn't. Because necromancy.

This fic didn't get many views when it came out. If you missed out on a good Halloween fic this year, I definitely recommend giving this one a try.


ROBCakeran53:

ETo Have and To Hold
It's a hard thing, trying to live your life while you're always in the spotlight. More so when you've found your one true love.
Freglz · 7.5k words  ·  84  11 · 1.9k views

Several stories in this contest had something noteworthy to them, but as someone who loves slice of life, there was one story here that, while nothing much happened, we were there to see and feel it. To Have and to Hold, by none other than Fregz (Freglz actually, but I’m a man of bad habits.)

What this story lacked in any adventure or thrilling sequences it made up for in the way we got to see and feel how Applejack felt about a situation she says is, well, a waste of her time. This story also gives a glimpse into the small universe Fregz has built up around AppleDash, borrowing canon and making it have emotions and feelings, so while you don’t need to read his other AppleDash works for this one to make any sense (it’s quite stand alone, honestly) it just makes his other works more enjoyable. 

The writing was high quality, lots of unique word usage to fight off any repetition, and in traditional Fregz style simple ideas and thoughts are lengthened out to allow readers to grasp the finest of details to the way the character is trying to express what they are feeling, and what they are trying to say.

The one thing hurting this story, however, was while it stuck with the rules of the contest, it lacked the real authentic MLP episode touch. While shipping two main characters isn’t totally realistic for the show, it’s something that can be overlooked. The story’s tone was too serious all of the time, and we didn’t really see the story’s conflict until half way, and then it was resolved, although resolution is a strong word for what happens. Again, things that don’t hurt this story’s quality, but hurt it being seen as any sort of episode.

Reading Applejack be, well, real and her down to earth self both shows us her strong character, and her flaws, which Rainbow herself questions. So go into this one for strong Applejack characterization, AppleDash shipping, and a heavy dose of slice of life.


RedParade:

TBulletproof Heart: The Pony on the Roof
The Bulletproof Heart might have left town, but her legacy lingers. For acting sheriff Code Red of Spurhoof, that means a lot more trouble than he's ready to handle.
PaulAsaran · 8.5k words  ·  94  3 · 876 views

For me, there was one story that definitely stood out to me as it seemed to feature everything that I like to see in a story. Action adventure with a ton of gunplay? Check. Background characters (even if they were OC’s)? Check. Heck, it was even based off of a My Chemical Romance Song! But all joking aside, PaulAsaran’s Bulletproof Heart sequel The Pony on the Roof gets my honorable mention.

The alternate universe work here is very solid. I haven’t yet read the original Bulletproof Heart (though I plan to!), but I was quickly able to put enough of the pieces together to understand what was going on. The concepts at play were well thought out and easy to follow, and I really did love the Western setting that was so prominent in the story. The character work was superb as well: Red made a terrific main character who was easy to root for, and his arc was a fabulous rise of a hero one as well. Gilda was an utterly despicable antagonist who fit the role to perfection, and the supporting cast (Mr. Gold is a memorable one) all fit together for a very fun story.

Really, the only thing that held it back in judging was the fact that it didn’t follow all of the rules, missing one thematic break and incorporating scene breaks over the required word count. But even if it can’t win, it’s definitely one of the more memorable entries for me. 


Onto our winners! We’ve got three of them (the conventional amount).


Third Place: Building Coded, by River Road

EBuilding Coded
The Equestrian Architecturial Association sends an inspector to make sure Twilight's School Of Friendship is up to code. The school reacts with the appropriate amount of panicked hysteria.
River Road · 7.1k words  ·  206  8 · 2.7k views

Cinder Vel:
You’ll see this statement repeated over and over but this story really did feel the most like an episode of MLP. The show humor was there, characters stayed faithful to themselves and I half expected to hear ads with each break. It even has the show weakness of trying to juggle seven characters which led to a bit of repetitive feeling.

It’s not an emotional masterpiece that tugs your heartstrings but it is a good funny story nonetheless.

Hawthornbunny:
The Tree of Harmony as a character was something I really wish the show had spent more time with, given that it properly teased the idea that the Tree was its own entity - a growing, evolving being that adapts and learns from those around it. That's such a great concept. Here, River Road delivers on that promise with a bit of classic farce that I found as heartwarming as it was hilarious. Seeing the Tree pushed into a desperate situation with no idea what to do about it (and only the Young Six as backup) made for a fun ride, and the metaphysical concept underlying the whole thing is pretty clever too.

ROBCakeran53:
Of our 11 entries, this one was the most episode authentic, even though it only made 3rd. It had flaws, but most were overshadowed by the pure sense of characterization in the students, as well as the Tree of Harmony which attempts to be Twilight Sparkle (however that doesn’t last long) and proceeds to also act, and break down, much like we’d expect Twilight to do.

The entire story set up the breaks to fit well with how an actual MLP episode would do so, as well as the laughs, twists, and eventual happy ending we all love about the show. It gives us readers another glimpse into the ToH’s character, something we only saw a couple of times, and this story took the little bits and expanded upon them, and made her (it?) all the more real and authentic to the show, and in fanfiction.

Personally, I’d have been hurt had this one not placed, and I’m all the more happy it did, even if it was third (nothing to be ashamed about!)

RedParade:
I was pleasantly surprised with Building Coded, and this story definitely had a fantastic premise. The idea of the Tree of Harmony pretending to be Twilight was so fantastic, and the way they broke down almost exactly as Twilight would have made me chuckle. Out of all the entries we received, I think that this one felt the most like an episode. The pacing was spot-on, the scenic breaks made sense, and overall I really do feel this could be presented as a real MLP episode.

There were some spaces where I did feel the story could have been stronger, and a lot of the word count was spent repeating information rather than bringing in new pieces, but overall this was a story that really fit the episode formula very well, making it a standout one in my opinion. 


Second Place: My Diamonds Leave With You, by Gay for Gadot

TMy Diamonds Leave With You
When her divorce finalizes, Rarity finds comfort in a familiar friend. Shortly thereafter, she makes the biggest mistake of her life.
Gay For Gadot · 7.1k words  ·  140  10 · 2.9k views

Cinder Vel:
I don’t like romances, I rarely find them interesting. I am not even interested in shipping, especially between Mane Six. And yet I was very much pleasantly surprised by this story.

It was well written, well structured to fit the contest’s structure and characters were a delight and the strongest part. A part of me does feel like the ending was a bit quick to tie it all up into a happy ending, but that could be the subjective feeling of the sadist in me.

While the story has least of the episodic feel of the top three stories I think its strengths more than make up for it.


Hawthornbunny:
Poor Rarity. You'd think out of all the Mane Six, she'd settle into a romantic relationship the easiest... but life has to be ironic, and the two decades since the end of the show have not been kind to her. In a moment of divorce-induced weakness, she forgets that Appledash is canon and kisses AJ, which Dashie is none too happy about.

I'm really enjoying that people are now starting to explore the post-timeskip era of MLP, and this fic puts it to great use by giving us very believable versions of the Mane Six with a couple of decades behind them. Dash in particular was a stand-out to me - still the Element of Loyalty, still the flighty hothead we know, but now with wisdom and maturity to back her up. The sadness of Rarity's failed private life is alleviated by a nice reconciliatory ending, making this a tasty bittersweet treat.

ROBCakeran53:
Oh wow, what to say about this one. Hard hitting emotion, and while not truly episodic, it was enough in the theme of learning a life lesson that it could arguably be called such.

This was a hard hitting drama, and exceptionally well put together friendshipping story that focuses on a distraught Rarity, her current problems bleeding into old feelings for a friend (Applejack), and the outcome of a stupid (her words) action that threatened her friendships with Applejack and Rainbow Dash.

While Rarity was the focus of this story, and well put in character, I actually think Rainbow Dash stole the show in this story, and felt very much like herself. The vulgarities might seem rough, but with the theme of this fic, they fit in just fine, and her shortness with Rarity, the threats, and then eventual resolution between the two just really hit this one out of the park.

And that being said, it wasn’t perfect, but it’s nothing wrong with the story, but more so the contest in itself limiting the story. The beginning was fairly quick paced, and while it was enough to get an idea of what was happening, we were a little bit off put by how sudden it went and short it was. 

Go into this story expecting some heartbroken Rarity, genuine friendshipping, and a real look at what it takes to admit one’s own mistakes and be better for them.

RedParade:
Diamonds was definitely one of my favorites in this contest. The character work and the banter was all fantastically done, and the author really sold the story to me while working through Rarity’s eyes. The emotional undertones of the work were exemplary as it weaved its way through issues like divorce, jealousy, regret, and loneliness, weaving everything together into a brilliantly told story.

The pacing felt natural and the narrative was smooth, and the characters themselves were vibrant and well-developed. All of their actions and interactions were in-character, and the ending left a smile on my face. This story was for me an easy contender for the top three, as the author’s skill genuinely did impress me. 


First Place: Maud Slam, by Jarvy Jared

EMaud Slam
Maud Pie enters a poetry slam competition, but her confidence in her writing is shaken by the arrival of an old acquaintance.
Jarvy Jared · 8.2k words  ·  49  2 · 775 views

Cinder Vel:
I felt like this story was a textbook example of how to write a short MLP story. It has a little bit of everything like humor, drama, tragedy, death...ok, maybe not death but the antagonist certainly felt the consequences of her actions.

It’s an interesting story that shows us the rarely seen side of Maud, her inner thoughts, her likes and fears. I admit that I prefer Maud more as a secondary character because I think her hard exterior hiding her true self is the most interesting part of her. But this story does a good job showing Maud’s struggle in an episodic environment and other characters play their parts like cogs in a machine.

Is it the best story ever? Nope. But it is a story that this contest was aiming for, a story that accomplishes all its goals against restraints set by our overlord. And it does it very well.


Hawthornbunny:
Of all the fics in the contest, this was the only one that felt to me like it really nailed the MLP episode structure and pacing. An expositional intro, antagonist introduction, escalation, crisis, and satisfying resolution, all wrapped up in a tidy 8000 words. Heck, even the title is a bit episode-y, which now that I think about it, was probably intentional.

Maud competes in a poetry contest against her old never-before-mentioned enemy from school, Elegy Mixer, who manages that neat trick of being insufferable without grating on the nerves. She’s a perfect MLP villain and also an unexpectedly perfect nemesis for Maud - an acid-tongued, extraverted snob who fights with words and knows how to exploit all of Maud's insecurities and weaknesses. Ooh, I hate her. She'll probably be redeemed in a later episode or something. I love fics that explore Maud's vulnerable side, and this one did it with style.

ROBCakeran53:
Mmmm… this story. Man, this story.

It’s all about Maud. Yes, Maud. Starlight and Trixie are there too, and Starlight plays a crucial role near the end, but it’s mostly just Maud.

This story, much like our second place winner, was enough of a story to feel episodic, but still lacked some of the real elements that make MLP a show. It's an excellent characterization of Maud, and a lot of bits we wouldn’t normally see or hear from her, but that’s where this being a written story benefits it.

The antagonist, an old schoolmate of Maud, fell right into the A-typical “villain” role of the show. Not inherently evil, but just as the word says, antagonist.  We get some symbolism in use of a raven, that feels a little out of place, but works for what purpose it was used for. 

The story is about a poem contest, and Maud’s is simple yet sweet, and she ends up coming in second place. A good outcome, but the dialogue of the judges implying she could have won but because of one technicality didn’t, kind of takes away from the moral of the story, however Maud doesn’t flaunt this.

This story had the best blend of episodic feel, story telling, characterization, and writing in general, and I’m glad to see it win, as well as our other finalists.

RedParade:

This story was most definitely something special. I think that it encapsulates the exact definition of a slice of life story brilliantly well, mixing in elements of comedy with a fun plotline and a healthy dose of character development.

The author has a clear grasp of the characters and aspects they are working with here, and everyone from Maud to Trixie to Starlight felt fleshed out and incredibly accurate. Even if Maud here showed a little more emotion than she’s known for, I think the author surrounded it in a context that worked incredibly well.

And the villain was expertly crafted as well. It really did feel like she came straight from an episode, with ulterior motivations and a sinister background. All the elements fell together really nicely, making for a brilliantly clean and fantastically composed written piece. This truly was a wonderful story, and one that complimented the goals of this contest incredibly well. Fantastic work! 


And there you have it. Our winners, decided by the powers of democracy. A quick reminder of our prizes: First place gets £100, second place gets £50, and third place gets £25. Jarvy Jared, Gay for Gadot, and River Road can contact me to have me send them their stacks of cash. It’ll feel weird dishing the prizes out instead of receiving them, but hey, this is what I signed up for.

Speaking as the guy who set up and ran the contest, though, I think everyone should be very proud for having given this a go. I’m not under any illusions that the way the breaks were set up and the way the word limits work makes this a contest that’s challenging in a rather unique way, and that works writing muscles that don’t necessarily get trained when writing conventional fanfiction. I should know; I tried this myself and it’s not straightforward to make the restrictions work.

Bearing in mind that having to pace written works in sometimes very convoluted ways is something that even professionals can struggle with, I think that you lot should be pretty pleased with yourselves that you gave it a go and completed entries when many others, despite being given plenty of motivation in money prizes and complete freedom on content, couldn’t or wouldn’t. So well done! You took the current best-approximation for writing an MLP episode paced prose story and crammed your words in there. That’s more than most have even tried to do. My greatest hope is that, after this contest, eleven more writers will appreciate how these restrictions can colour and change a writing project, which will in future help spread realistic expectations of both professional and amateur writing, how it works, and how to work around these challenges.

I’d also very much like to thank my judges, who were all very chill and patient during reading and judging. They were good fun to work with and discuss the stories with.

Once again, I hope you all enjoyed yourself and got something meaningful out of my little experiment. Good luck, and cheerio.

- HapHazred

Thank you all for hosting/judging the contest, and congratulations to the (other) winners and honorable mentions. :twilightsmile:

(Third place is a good result, but "most MLP episode" was the award I was going for anyway :moustache: )

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