Stories would either be deemed as worthy of being food for the Sweetie Giraffe, or unworthy of being food.

6598352
i say maybe

6598386
idk. We'd need an official scoring rubric.

6598415
But then the problem would become how to rank the Sweetie, the Comedy, and the Random.

6598466
Ah, I like that idea.

6598470
6598466
I endorse this idea wholeheartedly.

6598475
Yes.

6598475 6598466
Instead of an out of 10 score, what if we did straight-up numerical scores?

+5 for every instance of the name "Sweetie Belle" or "Giraffe"
+15 if the main character is Sweetie and/or a giraffe
+15 more if the main character is Sweetie-Giraffe
+25 for every 100 words, rounding to the nearest 100 if it's not even.

Example:
The story is about Sweetie-Giraffe, contains the name "Sweetie Belle" and/or "Giraffe" 15 times altogether, and is 1200 words:

30+75+300

Total score: 405

Since this is a meme cult, we don't have to bother with grammar or actual story. Only Sweetie.