My Little Reviews & Feedback 499 members · 849 stories
Comments ( 4 )
  • Viewing 1 - 50 of 4
THelia
You lose a lot over the course of your life, but one thing that lasts forever are the memories we make. I've learned a lot about making memories, and now I'm going to tell you my most precious one.
Emotion Nexus · 1.8k words  ·  23  1 · 237 views

Helia

by Emotion Nexus

Summary:
A stallion tells a simple story, about a mare who changed his life.

Initial Thoughts:
I honestly took this one because it was a romance, and because it was short. There’s no deeper thought that went into this review at the beginning. It caught my attention, and I decided to take a chance. Now, did my little roll of the dice pay off?

My Reaction:
“I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.”

Well. There’s no hiding the fact that this story ends in a rather bittersweet fashion. Especially if you could see my weeping, snotty face right now. Helia is a close contender for 2020’s Literal Feels Dagger to the Human Heart award, and for all the right reasons. It’s so simple, yet beautiful. There’s no presumption. No attempts to be more than it is. This story is a love story. And a story about death.

That’s no spoiler, by the way. It’s laid out right at the beginning how this all ends. And yet, despite the tragedy coming, you get drawn into the story, like a little honey trap. It’s so sweet, you fall right in. And then die. But metaphorically, in this case.

The story is actually so simple that I can’t exactly describe it further without ruining the entire experience. And it’s so incredibly short that I’d feel like a tool for writing more in the review than the length of the actual story.

Grammar: 10/10
There are no errors whatsoever that I found. If I missed one, it was because of the tears. There was a single line I might have touched up, but only for wording, and not because the author got anything wrong.

Story: 10/10
It’s a Romance story with the Sad tag, and it perfectly manages to encapsulate the best aspects of a Death story into it’s 1.7k word-space. It’s touching, and sorrowful, but only because the tale itself, and the life of the mare we get to know through our narrator’s eyes is so full of charm and life and love. It’s like a Hemingway story: the efficiency of the story is part of the reason why it’s so good.

Characters: 5/10
There is one named character in this story, and outside of that, plus a quick description and a few moments of her optimism and happiness on display, we know nothing else. And that’s lovely. The characters are little more than vehicles for the plot, so I can’t give them a perfect score. If I had a “Personal Enjoyment” category, I’d use that to turn this into a perfect score, but I don’t. So, the characters are simple cutouts meant to deliver the feels, but they work very well for the story they’re in.

Final Word and Rating

10+10+5 = 25/30 = 83/100%

Helia is a short, simple story with one goal in mind: making me cry. It is a near-perfect example of a minimalist story, told in a way that maximized its emotional impact. Outside of threadbare characters, this would get a perfect score from me. And if I could waive that requirement for my scoring chart, I’d do it for this story. It is criminal how few views this story has, so I encourage

No, I beg of you. To anyone who reads this, give this story a try. It won’t take long, but if you’re looking for a simple, sad story of love and optimism, then this one is right for you.

To the author: There’s not a lot I could say here. If your narrator had more personality, or if more of his and her experiences were in the story, I would gladly up the score for Characters. But then I fear you’d lose the simple wonder you managed to instill in the work itself. It’s… weirdly perfect, and yet flawed by its own perfection. As strange as that sounds.

Feel free to comment below.

Great thanks for the review!

I've always been a fan of minimalist stories, whether that be because I struggle with making anything longer, or because I enjoy consise stories with strong endings. There are times I feel length is an issue in my writing, but I stand that if I were to add more to this, it would take away the magic, so I'm glad you enjoyed it too.

The name Helia is the female equivalent of the real life sun god Helios, which makes the name incredibly multi-layered for those who figure it out.

I won't say more for fear of spoiling it for others, but I really appreciate the review, and I'm glad to see someone react so strongly to something I wrote.

Cheers!

7349143
Why do I keep forgetting to add the reply function.

Oh well, mandatory notification comment, scroll up for real comment.

7349149
7349150
Huh... I don't get it. :rainbowlaugh:

But, it was beautiful, nonetheless. Thank you for writing this.

  • Viewing 1 - 50 of 4