EHow to Frustrate Your Adorkable Alicorn

• MLP: FiM
• Comedy

Ponyville's resident human frustrates Ponyville's resident alicorn by predicting the future & more.

• Human
• Alt. Universe
• Twilight
• OC

ThePinkedWonder · 8.2k words  ·  167  4 · 4.5k views

Written by ThePinkedWonder

Summary: This story is a sequel to Alicorns and Beards

When Eric Reed claimed that he had learned how to predict the future, Twilight Sparkle was understandably skeptical about it.

However, Twilight quickly found herself aghast when Eric successful pulled off his boasts. Eric is just a regular human, so it shouldn't be possible for him to do this kind of stuff...right?

Will Twilight figure out how Eric learned to do something that not even she, an alicorn, can do?

Analysis: I have always loved The Pinkie Wonder's creative jokes and expert writing skills. This writer could make a great editor or reviewer with skills like this. The fact that no proofreaders seemed to be needed is a testament to this writer's skills. But enough talking about how great the author is. Let's talk about the story.

Mental games are always a creative way to mess with somebody, especially Twilight. Thus using several styles of pranks against her to make her believe that this human can read the future leads to several laughs. I love how the writer categorized the pranks in chapters while making it flow nicely, increasing the stress that Twilight ends up having over time, in spite of her figuring some of the tricks out. Having the last one being a matter of luck was also extremely creative.

I tried that trick on my family. it didn't work on any of them, namely since we don't have carrots often.

This is a clever mind game that has tricks that you can use at home, and plenty of laughs to keep you entertained at Twilight's stressful antics faced against a human with too much time on his hands. You don't need to read the first story to fully understand it, but I would recommend giving it a read too.

Grammar: 10/10 Either I am bad at grammar or this author just keeps this story at a level of perfection. I can't find a single grammatical flaw to this.

The plot of the story: 10/10 The idea and execution of being able to use mind and math games in order to make the alicorn believe that he can see the future. Using multiple tricks elevates the comedy of this story, and gives a lot to work with. I mean, how far do you think Twilight will go to figure this out?

Story flow: 10/10 This story flows rather well when it comes to pacing. I like how the chapters are divided by trick category, and even the chapter at the end adds a fun note at the end that pays a little homage to the story that was before this one. It gives good pacing that doesn't cause the story to feel like it's going through all of these tricks too soon. You get good pacing of jokes, trying to figure it out, and in the following chapters, you get the "gotcha" moments.

Final score: 30/30 10/10

I love how well this story works so easily together for a funny and rather clever story. From the perfect writing and pacing to the astounding tricks that this author uses. I found this story extremely enjoyable, and I hope you all give it a read very soon.

7324789

Thanks a lot for the review, and glad to hear you really liked the story!

The pacing was one of the things on my mind as I wrote it. I didn't want things to drag too long, but also not last long enough, so it's good to hear that you think I nailed it.

7324789

7324815
I remember reading this story when it first dropped. It's a good and fun comedy, and accomplishes exactly what it sets out to do: frustrating Twilight. Kudos!

7324940

Glad to see that you enjoyed it too when you read it