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Light Heart101
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Not Fade Away

Written by The Cloptimist

Summary: The Rainbooms get ready to play their triumphant encore for an adoring public... only to discover they won't get to take their last bow.

Analysis: This is a pretty interesting analogy of the end of Equestria girls. From going to being praised and having episodes following it to slowly falling to the wayside. Even the best of shows have to end, and this story is a great analogy of just that. Focusing on reality slipping away after their final show, leaving Twilight and Sunset wondering what will happen next. It is a story I would recommend to readers.

Writing: 6/10 A part of me doesn't like the method of using the verbs in front of character after the sentences.

"That was a great show," panted Rainbow Dash,

Is it me, or does this style of writing feel off? I feel like it's improper, especially since it's used constantly throughout the story. There are also a few sentences that feel like they go over a point twice, which is something I had to learn to stop doing.

"I guess it would have been nice for us to say goodbye. All these people came out to see us, and now we don't get to say goodbye."

I think a better way to have written it would be something like this...

" All these people came out to see us, and now we don't get to say goodbye. It would have been nice."

It's a few small writing choices that can be fixed over time.

The plot of the story: 10/10 This is a very unique premise to describe the ending of Equestria girls. It feels fresh and original and having the others fade away from focus as the lights go out makes the sense of the world ending feel more real.

Story flow: 8/10 I do feel like a few parts of this were rushed, and I would have liked more details about the others slipping away from reality. It's emotional, but adding more details about their world fading would have made for a more somber tone.

Final score: 24/30 8/10

This story has a very emotional pull that I really appreciate. I'm sorry that I can't give too many details about the story, but it's a short and somber story with a simple premise that works well in execution. I'd highly recommend giving this story a read due to its gripping narrative.

7222944
Thanks so much for the thoughtful review!

I never get to talk about Not Fade Away so I'm going to here, if that's OK! If it seemed rushed, that's because it was - I hadn't written anything in months (and kind of didn't intend to again, if I'm honest), but finding out that there apparently wasn't going to be an Equestria Girls finale of any kind just made me both furious and sad, and the idea just came to me there and then.

I arrived late in the fandom and caught up via binge watching the first four seasons and (at the time) two EQG movies in a few months, so I had more or less as much time with Sunset as a main character as with the Mane 6; it's hard to remember now, but there was no certainty we'd ever see her again after EQG 1, never mind that she'd become the emotional heart of the second movie (much like Yondu in Guardians of the Galaxy). Her story is one of the most fascinating in all of MLP. She deserved better than this.

Part of me wishes I'd spent more time on it, because I do think the idea is the best part of it, and part of me is glad I just sat down and scribbled and got it out of my system.

What's most interesting about this story to me is that it's very quietly caught up with You Betcha! in terms of views - even though that one has all kinds of nice reviews and an Equestria Daily feature, whereas you're the first person ever to review this one. So, thank you again!

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